DAY 2

My dreams were full of red headed mermaids, crazy beasts, and darkness. Dark sea, dark sky, just darkness. The last thing I saw before I woke up was a beautiful mermaid with red hair sinking into the dark sea, while a beast screamed and cried for her to come back, as his claws tried to reach her, but couldn't.

I woke up out of breath, and my heart nearly stopped when I momentarily forgot that I now lived at a mental hospital.

I sigh. This is my life now, isn't it? No matter what happens after my stay here, I'll always have the memory of being a fucking mental case.

I roll out of bed, and look for something to wear. At least we don't have to wear hospital gowns, Jade told me only the ones who act out have to wear them, and that they're sent to a different ward, that's located at the back of the building. They monitor the people in there for twenty four hours, and then they access if they're no longer a threat to themselves and the other patients. Apparently Tori goes a lot, when they catch her skipping meals. Jade explained to me that this hospital was opened to be a place where teenagers who are mentally ill can still experience life, well as much as the laws will allow. Cat mentioned that her last hospital was like the ward at the back.

At least that's one to keep me going, that it could be a lot worse. I glance at my clock, seven AM. Breakfast isn't until eight thirty. Maybe I'll go downstairs and watch some TV. If I'm even allowed.

I turn the knob of my door, and I'm overjoyed to find it unlocked. I open the door and close it quietly behind me. I walk down the hall, my footsteps light. When I reach the staircase I realize why they leave the doors unlocked: they have a guard. A middle aged man with sits a chair almost as hard looking as his expression.

"Where you off to?" he asks.

"To watch some TV?" I phrase it as a question because I really don't know if we're allowed.

He nods his head. "Don't do anything stupid."

I don't laugh because I don't think he's joking. I nod back at him and start walking down the stairs. When I reach the bottom I'm not exactly sure which way the TV room is. A nurse walking by stops and looks at me.

"Where are you off to?" she asks, her eyes narrowing.

"Um, the TV room, where is it?" I ask, flashing a grin at her.

"Oh, you're the new one aren't you? The TV room is down that hall, third door on the left," she replies pointing down a hallway to the right of the staircase, before taking off down the hallway beside the staircase.

I go down the hallway she told me to, and count the doors until I reach the third one. There's no door and I can hear a cartoon playing. I peak my head in and see Cat curled up under some covers with Mr. Longneck. I smile slightly to myself, before knocking on the wall.

She jumps a little, looking surprised at me. Her face breaks out into a grin when she realizes it's me.

"Beck!" she squeals. "Come watch!"

I walk in and plop down beside her. I glance at the TV and recognize the cartoon to be Sailor Moon.

"Do you like Sailor Moon?" she asks quietly. She bites down on her bottom lip. "I know it's a kid show, I can change it if you want."

She looks so disappointed in herself, like watching Sailor Moon is the stupidest thing you can do. "No, I like Sailor Moon. I think cartoons are cute."

Her eyes light up and she hugs Mr. Longneck tighter to her. "Really? Everyone else seems to just put up with them to make me happy." Her eyes flicked back to the TV screen.

Put up with? She says it like she's a burden to everyone. I make a promise to myself to watch every cartoon with Cat, no matter how childish they may seem. Truth be told, I do like cartoons more than most teenagers, not as much as Cat of course, but they're honestly better than half the crap that comes out nowadays.

I pull my eyes away from Cat to focus on what's going on in the show. Sailor Moon and her friends are battling someone, the one in the red is pretty hot, for a cartoon. My eyes flicker back to Cat, and then I pull them away again. I don't want her to catch me staring.

A few minutes later the ending credits are rolling on the screen, and Cat quickly changes the channel. She finds a channel that is playing my all time favourite cartoon: Scooby Doo.

"All right!" I practically cheer.

Cat grins. "You like Scooby Doo, too?"

I try to regain some control on myself but I let slip that I love it.

"I do too," says Cat, moving a little closer to me. My heart races. I can smell her red velvet cupcake shampoo and it smells so fucking good.

"Yeah it's a good show," I mumble.

The episode is the same basic formula has every other Scooby Doo episode: they find a mystery, find some clues, have a chase scene, catch the bad guy. And I was enjoying every minute of it. Towards the end, Cat moved closer to me and leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder.

Don't move. Don't talk. Don't breathe.

"Thanks for watching the shows with me Beck," she whispered.

"Are you kidding? I love Scooby Doo, I could watch it all day," I say back. I'm tempted to put my arm around her, but she's so delicate. I'm scared of making any moves, I've never been like this before. If I wanted a girl, I went after her. I usually always got her too. But most of those girls, I just fucked and threw away. I don't wanna throw Cat away. I'm not even sure if I wanna have sex with her. She's beautiful, but she's so innocent and pure, and it would kill me to take that away.

"You're so good Beck," she breathes.

Good. I've never heard that word to describe me. It was always stupid, nothing, bad, and from girls, hot. Good. The fact that it came from her makes it all the more sweet. Lovely Cat thinks I'm good.

I glance down at her, and she notices, and looks back at me. She looks at my eyes and then my lips, before meeting my eyes again. My heart stops when I realize what's going through her mind. Her big brown eyes are full of want, but I can see the fear. She's not scared of me, but scared of what could happen if she gives in and kisses me. Cat's so pure, I wouldn't be surprised if she's never kissed anyone. I wonder how long she's been tossed around mental hospitals for, has she ever even experienced life?

I'm tempted, so fucking tempted, to just lean down and kiss her. But I can't. I can't steal Cat's innocence. I want her, oh god I want her, but nothing, not even tasting Cat's lips, would be worth taking that from her.

She bites down on her bottom lip, and moves just an inch closer, but it's close enough that I can smell her minty breath. I think she's actually going to it. Cat is going to kiss me. Maybe I should stop her, but I know I won't. My head is swelling with the thought that Cat wants me. I've felt a pull towards her since I first saw her, but the the reality that Cat also feels it, is too much for my brain to comprehend.

She moves a little bit closer, and her lids are half closed. I close mine, getting ready for what I've being dying for and what I'm terrified of.

A loud thud stops us, and we both jump to opposite ends of the couch.

"Why would you push me?" we heard Robbie yell.

"You were in my way!" Jade screeches.

"It's the hallway! Couldn't you wait?"

"NO!"

Jade stomps in, followed by Robbie. Jade plops down on a La-Z-Boy, and Robbie sits on the other couch.

"What were you guys up to?" Jade asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing!" Cat and I yell. I clear my throat and add, "just watching TV."

Yeah, "nothing", except for the fact that I know Cat feels something for me too.

And I think I'm falling in love with her.