As the Death, I distant myself from things; I don't get to hear the screaming pains of someone dying, I don't get to see the violent rape of the young girl, I don't get to hear the last breathe of the person when she is saying goodbye to the living world, I don't get to the scene in time to see the killer in his full rage attacking somebody who in the ends has no fault at all in all the rage he is feeling, I don't see nothing, I don't hear nothing. I am a distant participant of the ending of a person; I get at the scene when the show is over, I am the janitor who cleans the theaters when everybody is home or out celebrating a good show.
I am not complaining I love to be a distant participant, despite being the Death, I don't enjoy watching people suffer, I don't like to watch a life end; it is too sad, too difficult, almost too painful to watch, but Katherine, was my only exception, I enjoyed every second of her own masochism, I enjoyed every moment of her near deaths experiences, I loved watching her body fight to take a breath almost dying… until someone arrived and saved her, I loved watch her whispering to herself how much she wanted to die, I enjoyed watching her cut word after word in her beautiful skin and seeing the blood streaming between her fingers, I confess, I enjoyed better yet…I loved! I never said to you that I was good.
When I was assigned to Germany, when Hitler was killing more people than the Spanish flue, I watched many, many people die, with so many souls for me to take to the other side I had to stay close to the concentration camps; I watched so many people dying just because one man created some kind of truth where a thousand of others men followed. I didn't loved watching those people die, I didn't love it, but Katherine, like I said was my only exception.
As the Death, I understand that the end of a life is never easy, no matter if the person deserves or not, although being the Death I confess to you that I think that death is a beautiful thing. It is almost pure, the act of die, it doesn't matter where your body rests, it doesn't matter if you didn't pay something, nothing matters anymore, everything is silent still, everything is over; the dying part may be loud but the death isn't, it is the lull after the storm.
Many souls when dead doesn't understand the concept of the Death, they don't accept it, they reject the death, after they are dead, so it is too late to not accept it; some people don't get that the show is over, the people are leaving the theater, you had your last scene, now accept that your last act ended and it is time for you to move on. But when they understand, when they embrace the death, ah…. That is a beautiful thing. When you embrace death, you accept that everything ended, you ran, and ran and now it is time for you to rest, you have nothing more to do, your destiny, if you believe in it, was achieved, congratulations by the way… ah, that is beautiful because if you stop to think about it, the death is a beautiful thing; just because you don't want to die, it doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. People fear death for all the wrong reasons, the human being are too selfish to accept that their show is over, they want it to go on, and on, and on, for how long? They don't know they just want it to go on. And the ones that stayed alive, who was left behind by the soul that I took, doesn't like me because I took their loved ones before they were ready to give them up, don't they understand that everything comes to an end?. But what makes me angrier towards the human, is when their loved one is a terminal patient because of something and they don't want them to die, do you people really want your loved one to continue living a miserable life just so you can have that person next to you? Such a selfish race, which after decades observing I still can't fully understand.
Also as the Death, I don't see the aftermath of my visit, I don't see how people deal with the death of their loved ones, I don't see how they get over it, I don't hear they cry in the middle of the night when they are missing their spouse by their side at the bed, I don't hear they cry when in the middle of a routine action, they see something which their loved ones used to always do, I don't get to see they cleaning their loved ones closet, I don't see them when they are looking at an old photo album and crying, watching the good times they had with their loved ones. I don't get to see or hear when people are grieving but Katherine was my only exception.
I don't need to explain why Katherine was my only exception, you know why, her mother asked me to look after her, I took many souls during my life time (if you can call it life, I prefer to say existence, but let's not waste our times with nuances) and also watched so many people live, in my free time I liked watching the human being be, and I had never met a human like Katherine, I have heard what grief can do to a person, but I have never watched in the front roll, since I didn't like watch the families that I had visited. But I watched Katherine grief, I watched her change using her grief as a pin point of changing, and, if I was a person who was in love with the girl she was before her mother's death, I would be sad, but I wasn't because I didn't love the girl who had her mother, I loved the woman who had lost her mother too soon, I learned to love the woman she became. I watched her soul break every day a little bit, until it was so changed that she had no choice than change herself too.
A/N: Today I am feeling extremely melancholic, I think it showed a little in this chapter.
The more reviews I get, the sooner I post!
Something I said in the story that I would like to put in context, this part: "But what makes me angrier towards the human, is when their loved one is a terminal patient because of something and they don't want them to die, do you people really want your loved one to continue living a miserable life just so you can have that person next to you?"
My great-grandmother, was hit by a bus, if she had survived she would not talk, not remember us, probably not even see and stuff, and when she died I didn't cry, just a few months later. My mother was devastated, after watching her cry almost non-stop for a month, I said to her: "Mom, I don't know if this will help but, don't cry because great-grandmother died, you have to Thank God that she did, if she had survived the accident, can you imagine how would she live? How miserable she would be? It would be sad to watch, so... cry when you misses her, not because she died, you wouldn't want to watch her live that way."
Also, in the same context, I have a cousin that his delivery had a problem and missed oxygen to his brain, in the first year of life he lived at the ICU of the hospital, he heart stopped 4 times and his lungs stopped 2 times, and now he lives a miserable life, he is now 5 years old but he can't walk, talk, eat, sit, he can't even breath right, so... every body around him is miserable, my grandma can't look at him without crying, my aunt dedicates all of her life to him and it is sad to watch my family suffer so much, if my aunt had accepted that he would be happier in the after life (she believes in it), they would be better today.
So, I hope some of the heavy stuff that I said about death makes more sense to you guys now, Thank you for reading it.