May 7
11:59 pm
No, I can't.
Those were the first words that popped into Santana's mind. Her conscience and instincts in sync with each other, trying to deny what her heart really wants.
She opened her mouth to transfer her thoughts from her brain to the outside world but Brittany interrupted her. She didn't know if the blonde had understood she was just about to decline her invitation, but she continued to persist without waiting to hear her answer." Oh come on. You are already here, you brought me here and you've probably just saved me from spending the next few months in a four by four cell. Let me at least thank you for helping me."
"Oh, there is no need, really. I can just drive back home." Santana replied.
Quickly shaking her head as she tried to convince herself that she needed to go back home. Not because Ray may need her, but because the idea of spending the evening at Brittany's place was already generating an unsteady heartbeat.
"I know you can." Brittany agreed. "I'm just asking you to stay." She added with her classic disarming honesty.
"Brittany I would like to but…" Santana trailed off, not knowing how to finish her sentence.
"You are afraid of doing something that is not included in your routine, right?"
Santana simply looked at her, eyes wide open and nodded.
That was a hundred percent true, she couldn't even process the idea of not going back home.
"Well you have just been subjected to a lot of stress." Brittany commented completely out of context and the only thing Santana managed to do was roll her chocolate eyes at her complete with a frown.
"You may start suffering from delayed shock or something, so your best chance is to stay here in case something happens." She explained gently before smirking.
"Oh, I see what you are trying to do here."
"Hey, can't blame a girl for trying!"
"Fine, I'll stay but you have to promise me that I won't have to worry about your behavior!" Santana stated but as soon as the last syllable left her mouth she wondered what the hell she was doing. Had she really just agreed to spend the rest of the evening at this girl's place?
Brittany beamed at that answer but Santana couldn't help asking herself if her happiness was due to her staying or because she had just won another battle.
"Afraid you may like it?" The tattooist said back.
"Ha-ha, very funny." She commented mocking Brittany.
"You really think I'm some kind of creepy stalker, don't you?"
Santana shook her head quickly in denial.
"No not at all! It's just that uhm it's just sometimes you.." She stuttered out before shutting up completely as Brittany's eyes darkened.
"Santana." The girl said softly placing her hand on her shoulder.
"You know that I'm always joking and making fun of you but I'm serious this time. You don't have to worry about anything. I mean it." Santana was silently listening and she knew she was supposed to feel relieved by Brittany's reassurance but, she wasn't.
"Ok." She replied quietly lowering her gaze to avoid the realization in Brittany's eyes that she was indeed serious. Santana just felt torn her head and heart pulling her in opposite directions.
"No Santana" she insisted applying a little pressure on her shoulder with the thumb. "I won't ever try to do something for two very simple reasons. Number one," She said lifting her index finger. "You are not gay and I won't ever force someone into something and second you are in a serious relationship. Also despite what people may say I really don't like to be involved in threesomes." She finished smirking. "Well, these kind of threesomes." She added but this time Santana didn't smile at the joke, she was too busy thinking about what that girl was actually saying or, well, what she wanted her to understand.
Brittany hadn't told her that she wouldn't have done anything because she didn't like her, right? Or was that implied? Santana's mind was so fucking blurred by her thoughts fighting against each other.
"Ok, I believe you." She added, blushing when she realized that Brittany was staring at her, waiting for an answer.
"Does that mean you're staying?" she asked anxiously.
"Yes."
As soon as that one word left her full lips she couldn't help but wonder if she had made the right decision.
"Ok, so what did you have in mind?"
"Nothing really I just wanted to chill and talk. Do you want one?" Brittany asked handing her one of the bottles of beer without waiting for an answer.
At that question Santana could already feel the tears starting to fill her eyes. No, no she didn't want one, she couldn't have one. Since the day of the accident she had swore to herself and, basically, to everyone else that she wouldn't touch even a sip of alcohol anymore.
Her face immediately darkened. If this was the way the night was going to go, then she definitely shouldn't have agreed to stay.
"Santana?" Brittany asked concerned with the Latina's instant mood change.
"I- I can't." she cut shortly.
"Why?"
"I almost killed myself thanks to alcohol." She said vaguely she wasn't about to delve into her personal issues with Brittany.
"I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you almost killed yourself because of your stupidity, not because of the alcohol. I believe that not drinking is one of the countless things you have stopped doing to pretend to have to complete control of your life."
Oh, fuck you.
Santana continued to be shocked by Brittany and her ability to dig deep inside her and open her up exposing her, with very little effort.
"I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to get to know you." Brittany added to calm her upcoming reaction.
"I can't have a beer. I just can't." Santana repeated avoiding the opportunity to open up.
"I'm not saying that you have to drink, but having a beer is not a big issue unless you are an alcoholic, and from what you've told me, you are not nor have you ever been. I think that this is just another way for you to conform to your perfect little life."
"Wow." Santana commented with a little giggle that made Brittany frown puzzled from her reaction.
"What?"
"You really are in love with the sound of your own voice, aren't you?"
Brittany's jaw dropped at Santana's mockery. "You can't deny it!" she insisted.
"I will, but only if you admit that your life is so freaking planned till the last detail and just the thought of doing something spontaneous that is out of your control is making you panic!"
"What? That is not true and I think I've just proved it to you!"
"What? Are you referring to the fact that you came and saved me before? That doesn't count, you were just in the moment!" she said and Santana immediately felt the familiar annoyance she frequently got when she argued with Brittany.
"A moment that was useful though! And what about the fact I came to visit you this afternoon? And that I've put my own skin in the hand of a crazy tattooist I don't even know!"
Santana paused for a second.
"You know what? I don't care!" she said roughly taking the beer Brittany was drinking from her hands and taking just a sip of it.
"Happy? See? I'm drinking!"
Damn she had forgotten how good a sip of fresh beer tasted.
Fuck, she was indeed drinking again but she actually wasn't afraid of it at all, she knew it was just a beer and she wasn't craving for more.
"I don't want you to drink! I don't really care about it. I just want you to do what you feel like doing for once!" Brittany exclaimed quickly pulling the beer back from Santana's grasp.
"Hey! I wasn't finished with that."
Brittany burst out laughing loudly.
"I think that our fights are like the weirdest I've ever been involved in." Brittany managed to breathe out in between her laughs.
"I don't know why but I find that hard to believe." Santana commented.
"What are you trying to imply?"
"N-nothing." She paused taking a second to decide what she really wanted to say before simply replying with a gentle "Thank you."
"For what?"
Santana simply shrugged trying to be as honest with Brittany as she was with her. "I barely know you, but it's like you're not giving up on me. I-I don't know-I…sorry." she said feeling a hot flush of blood quickly run up to her cheeks.
"Don't be sorry, your ramblings are adorable." Brittany commented without breaking eye contact causing Santana's blush to dominate her cheeks.
"I can't believe you actually made me drink a beer after three years." Santana mentioned. "I wonder what you will make me do next, steal a car?" she jokingly asked without giving it too much thought.
It was an incredible feeling just being able to laugh and joke so naturally with Brittany.
Brittany's eyes suddenly went wide open at those words.
"Oh no Brittany, I'm not going to steal a car." She said shaking her head hoping the girl wasn't forming some ridiculously insane idea. Too late, Brittany was already on her feet.
"No." Santana tried to insist but from what she knew of the tattooist it was pointless even trying to stop her. "Oh yeah."
But again Brittany did something Santana wasn't expecting. Every time she thought Brittany couldn't surprise her further she does so effortlessly. One word and one word only Santana would use to describe Brittany S. Pierce…Intoxicating. Totally and utterly intoxicating, as much as she tried to convince herself otherwise she couldn't help but be drawn in by this girl every time
Brittany took the remote control of her tv and switched it on and went back to the couch, sitting right next to Santana.
She took from the little table in front of her something that looked like a controller, Santana knew what they were but she had never used them.
"What's that?" Santana asked curious and anxious to know what Brittany had in mind.
Exasperated with Santana's cluelessness Brittany rolled her eyes in response.
"You're kidding, right?"
"I know kids play with those things."
"This is not happening. Santana Lopez you are really trying to tell me that you have never played video games?" The tattooist questioned with a face mixed of astonishment and uncertainty.
"Well uhm I- No I've never played video games, I don't even like them." She replied.
"Ok. Aaaand we are no longer friends." Brittany said back seriously.
Wait, does that mean they were actually friends? The knot in her stomach tightened a little bit at that thought.
Santana watched Brittany loading some kind of post apocalyptic/gangster game, ok she had no clue of what that thing was but she knew she was about to find out as Brittany loaded a previously saved game.
"Ok, the avatar is not as cute as you so you will have to use this bad guy." Brittany explained when a man appeared on the screen.
She finds me cute.
"W-what should I do?"
"Whatever you want! This is the cool thing of this game. You have a city full of things and opportunities and you can do absolutely whatever you want, since I've already finished the game." Brittany told her excitedly.
Santana nodded even though she wasn't sure she understood.
"Whatever I want?" She clarified.
"I'll show you." Brittany replied whilst she started moving the man and making him walk down what seemed to be an NYC road.
"Ok, see that old lady."
"Yes."
Santana replied when he noticed the old lady walking down the street holding two bags.
It was incredible how good the graphics were, it seemed so realistic.
Brittany made the man approach the granny and stop right in front of her.
Santana felt for a moment the blonde's eyes dancing all over her face and she tried so hard to focus on the TV and not turn to look at her.
The tattooist controlling the actions of the man in the game suddenly made the guy start violently hitting the old lady and in the end he ran away with her purse.
"Oh no, bitch!" Santana exclaimed without thinking, still looking at that gross scene. As soon as the last word escaped her mouth she instinctively brought her hand to her lips and quickly looked to check the blonde's reaction.
She had no intention of insulting her at all, that bitch had just come out of nowhere.
But, just like the last time a little bit of her old self had slipped out Brittany just found it amusing, if her giggling was anything to go off.
"I can't believe you hurt that poor lady!" Santana said.
"I just wanted to show you that you can do absolutely what you want!"
"I wouldn't want to punch a granny though!" Santana insisted just because bantering with Brittany was quickly becoming one of her favorite activities.
"Oh, come on I wouldn't either! Gosh Santana you really need to relax! So take this damn joystick and let me see what you're capable of!" Brittany exclaimed slowly handing the controller to her.
Santana took it without thinking. She internally laughed at herself since she had absolutely no clue what to do now.
"Mmm ok I can do this." She stated and started moving the man down a random street. "Ok, what now?"
"K, choose a car." Brittany ordered.
"This one?" Santana asked while the man came to a stop next what seemed to be a Mustang, still a light nuance of uncertainty in her voice.
"I don't really care, it's up to you." The tattooist replied falling back into the rest of the couch and stretching her body out.
Santana had the urge to turn and check on the blonde's muscles stretching but she mentally reproached herself.
Can you please try to focus at least?
"How can I?" she said.
"Ok." Brittany replied sliding across the couch and closing the gap that was between them. Santana almost jolted when she felt Brittany's hand touching hers. "Press this is x button." She explained helping her do it.
Santana instinctively tilted her head to the left, getting closer to the blonde. She knew she was supposed to follow the game and what that man was doing inside that big screen but she was attracted to something else at the moment.
She turned to look at Brittany and her breath hitched Brittany was already looking at her, eyes penetrating her very being. She wasn't expecting her to be that close, she wasn't expecting her to smell that great. Her gaze instinctively dropped from those incredible blue eyes to the blonde's lips. She noticed there was the hint of a smile and that was the last straw.
A sudden hot wave invested her body, just the fact that her face was a few inches away from the other girl's was driving her crazy, she knew she wanted to lean forward, just a little bit, just enough to be able to feel Brittany's breath, just to be able to see herself reflected in those watery eyes, just to see what her lips tasted like.
"Santana?" Brittany whispered.
"Y-yes?"
"You should run."
"W-what?" but as soon that word left her lips Santana blinked as she realized that the girl was actually talking about the game and not about her inner battle with herself. A quick flush of blood reached her face making her skin burn of embarrassment.
"Oh, right." She said her muscles tensing up while she cleared her throat.
She quickly turned herself to look at the monitor and to her surprise she was already in the car and a sort of radar had appeared.
"Oh fuck."
"Come on, move or the police will catch you!"
"And where am I supposed to go!?"
"See that radar?" Santana nodded, her heart was beating faster she was really feeling the tension and the risk of getting caught. "It shows where the police cars are, just drive in the opposite direction."
Santana didn't need to be told twice, she pressed a random button on the joystick and luckily for her the car started moving.
Ok, someone explain to me why the hell I'm doing this.
She started driving but she was barely able to avoid hitting people or other cars. The game was fucking so realistic and she couldn't stop the pressure from building even more inside her. She really wanted to prove to Brittany that she was capable of playing a bloody video game but what was happening was so fucking complicated.
"Oh, fuck fuck." She exclaimed when the car almost flipped in the air when she hit a car coming from the other lane for the umpteenth time.
"Miss, language." Brittany teased her before bursting in what was the prettiest unexpected laugh her ears had ever listened to.
Santana smiled at that sound as well. "What?"
But Brittany was still laughing and she had no clue why.
"I can't believe this is happening." She said covering her mouth with a hand.
"What?" Santana insisted,
"You stopped." She said still laughing as she pointed at the screen.
"Wait, are you talking about the traffic lights?"
Santana knew she was right when Brittany beamed again at her, with a sweet smile. The tattooist wrapped her fingers around her wrist, slightly squeezing it.
"But it was red!" she tried to explain her decision to stop the car.
"Ha-ha, so you are supposed to be the most reckless gangster of NYC and you are currently running away from the police but you decide to stop at a traffic light?"
"I-I…"Whilst Santana struggled to defend her actions the police had reached the car and was arresting her character.
"The fact I'm a gagster doesn't mean that I don't have a civic duty towards my city." Santana argued making the tattooist smile even more.
"You are way too cute to be real." Brittany commented taking the joystick out of her hand and placing it on the table. "So, did you like it?"
She did indeed, it was something new, and something she had never done before.
"The game is really cool." she agreed. "But…do kids really play it?"
"They do Santana."
"But it's not setting a very good example" Santana protested.
"This is exactly why it's fun to play. People want to do things that they can't normally do in real life, like being involved in a military mission or running away from crazy hungry zombies."
Santana smiled at her, "I see."
"So, tell me more about Santana Lopez." Brittany asked getting comfortable on the couch and looking at her with the intention of exploring every inch of her soul.
Santana instinctively shrugged in response it was her automatic reaction every time somebody asked her to talk about herself. She couldn't think of a more boring subject than herself, it was probably on par with Ray's talks about sailing or golf.
"There isn't really much to tell." She commented.
"So what? The only things I get to know about you are that you have a tattoo on your back, you like music and you live a very boring life?" Brittany asked.
"Pretty sad, huh?" she said back lowering her gaze ashamed she didn't have anything exciting to tell.
"Well, we could always add that you like to save friends from jail and play video games to your lame description." Brittany commented to try to cheer her up and it worked, but not exactly thanks to her word, no, just being there with her made her feel safe and at peace with herself. She didn't have to continually prove she was perfect to anyone and she didn't have to behave how everyone expected her to, because they said it was the right way to be. "You just need to let your real self come out a little more, she's a really nice person." Brittany added.
"I'm trying. Baby steps." Santana replied. "Tell me more about you."
"Well, I'm awesome. What more is there to say?" the blonde replied jokingly but Santana was struggling to see it as anything but the truth. In her eyes Brittany seemed flawless and everything she did or said was disarmingly perfect.
She was an artist and a geek combined, she wasn't paying attention to which clothes or accessories she should be wearing yet she was stunningly beautiful, she tried so hard to come across as an aloof badass but Santana could see right through her facade.
Santana shyly smiled back at her.
"I don't know Barbie, what do you want to know?"
Santana tilted her head aside, glaring at her.
"I've noticed that you call me that every time you get uncomfortable." Santana said calling her out on her behaviour.
"I've no idea what you are talking about." The tattooist quickly replied back but lacking her classic teasing smirk Santana could tell that she had hit the nail on the head.
"You are just being modest." Santana said.
"Why do you think that I have such an adventurous life?"
"Uhm, maybe because every time I find out something new about you it's either unexpected or amazing."
"Santana I think you are exaggerating a little. My life is just as ordinary as…" she stopped for a second looking at the Latina glaring at her. "Ok, maybe it's not as ordinary as yours but i can assure you that it's nothing special."
"Yeah, right." Santana snorted. "Do I have to remind you that I've just saved you from prison?" She added smiling at her.
"Fine, what do you want to know about me?"
For a second Santana wanted to shout out everything in response. But she chewed her lower lip trying to hide the uncontrollable need to know absolutely everything about the girl who was sat next to her.
"I-I don't know…" She muttered out.
Brittany smiled staring at the little table in front of them, she leaned forward just enough to take her beer.
"Ok, I'll tell you what we are going to do now." She said checking for her reaction but she didn't have to wait long because she realized that Santana was hanging on her every word.
"Let's play I've never."
"What's that?" Santana asked intrigued by the suggestion.
"It's really easy I say I've never done something and we have to drink a sip of beer if we have indeed done that specific thing." Brittany easily explained.
The Latina nodded quietly, showing some unexpected confidence even if she was already starting to feel uncomfortable.
"Ok, I'll start with…" She paused. "I've never gotten drunk in my life." She said.
Santana waited a couple of seconds, hesitating on what she was supposed to do but, as she noticed Brittany taking a sip from the bottle, she did the same.
"Your turn."
She immediately blushed since her mind was completely empty and not because of the beer but because her brain was usually blurred when she was within touching distance of Brittany.
"I-I've never stolen something?" She said but the sentence came out more as a question than as a real statement.
Brittany smirked and readily drank from the bottle and Santana smiled at the action.
"I'm wondering why I've said that since I already knew the answer." She commented but she didn't drink since she actually had never stolen anything in her life, a part from her dad's car but that wasn't technically stealing since he was family.
"Touché" the blonde replied. "I've never cheated on someone." She added making Santana widen her eyes.
Wait were the two of them already there? Asking personal questions?
Santana stared at the girl drinking, holding her steady gaze and she did the same.
"Wow, Santana I wasn't expecting that from you." Brittany commented.
"Well, I was young and..." She started with a trembling tone but the girl stopped her shaking her head.
"No judging, so no explanations."
Then the silence fell again between them and the air quickly got heavier. She was aware of the fact that it was her turn and that her question should have been at least the same level of intimacy as the previous one, but once again her mind was refusing to work properly.
"I've never had sex in a public place."
She stated without too much thinking but she immediately reproached herself.
"Seriously? I will need a big jar of beer for that." Brittany said laughing and Santana took a sip as well pretending to consider the backyard of her country house a public place.
I can't believe I'm lying in a drinking game I'm the lamest person on the planet.
For a second the unhealthy thought of what Brittany could have done in public places crossed her minded but she mentally forced herself to focus on what was happening in the living room.
She cleared her voice, stiffening her muscles against the backrest of that couch.
"Ok. How about, I've never desired someone so badly if I didn't have them I'd go crazy." The tattooist said blinking at her.
Santana's mouth immediately went dry and she rolled her eyes at the blonde in disbelief watching her drink. What was that supposed to mean? Was that just a stupid question or another way to fuck with her?
And what was she supposed to do? Drink? Or was the fact that she was completely bewitched by this girl normal?
She opted for skipping the turn to avoid some uneasy questions.
"Liar." Brittany whispered looking at her with those magnetic blue eyes.
Santana's blood quickly rushed to her face making it burn.
"I've never been in love." She said rapidly trying to divert the attention from the last comment.
She slowly took a sip of beer and waited for the inked blonde to do the same but nothing happened.
"Really?" She asked not afraid of overstepping since she had the uncomfortable feeling that they had already crossed the threshold of a normal decent relationship a long time ago.
Brittany shrugged. "Hey, I'm just being honest."
"But everyone has been in love at least once in their life." She said innocently. "Actually when I was in college my roommate was falling in love once a week."
"I don't know what to tell you Santana." She said with her usual calm tone that was showing that she wasn't ashamed or had any problems at all at admitting it.
"Its just weird." Santana commented, she really had no intention in offending her but she wanted to know more, she wanted to know the reason why Brittany had never been in love.
For a second she kind of felt relieved by that confession, she didn't know why but the thought of someone else stealing the tattooist's heart was upsetting to her. "And sad. I mean, I'm not saying that you're sad… but…"
Brittany hinted a shy smile and stopped her embarrassing ramblings by sweetly wrapping her slender fingers around her wrist.
"I know this might be confusing for you but it's just who I am."
Santana felt her heart sink at those words she couldn't talk at all, she simply looked at the girl and blinked repeatedly.
"Santana I don't usually open myself up to other people, I know that I'm always joking and stuff but when it comes to personal interaction between two people I'm probably the worst."
"But… Have you ever been in a relationship?"
Brittany's jaw suddenly dropped and the girl's eyes for a second were glued at the floor.
"I don't believe in relationships." Brittany stated at the end and Santana couldn't help but burst into a slight laugh.
"You what?What does that even mean?"
Santana was completely at ease for probably the first time since she had met the girl.
"And in what does Brittany S. Pierce believe?" She asked playfully but she definitely wasn't ready for the girl winking at her. "Multiple orgasms." She replied with her classic evil smirk, the one that usually got Santana into trouble.
"Do you take anything seriously? Like ever?"
Brittany bit her lower lip and looked at her chocolate eyes with an intense gaze that rapidly sent a hot vibrating wave to her lower limbs.
"Oh come on Santana! What do you want me to tell you? It's true I don't believe in relationships, but I do believe in great sex and having fun with someone. Relationships usually ruin everything."
"I completely disagree with you! Relationships improve the interactions between two people, relationships are wonderful."
"And that is why I'm having a lot of amazing mind-blowing sex and you are what? Cuddling on a couch?"
"I-I-I'm not cuddling on a couch!"
"So tell me, when did you and Ray have sex for the last time?"
Santana couldn't hold her gaze. She wanted so badly to lie again but the blood flushing heavily in the veins of her forehead was about to betray her calm pretense.
"Ok, we have had a period of calm lately." She said trying to avoid the question.
"Answer the question."
"Ok, fine I think it's about three weeks now, but that is not the point!" She replied with a challenging tone.
"And when did you last have sex, huh? Two minutes ago?" She asked mocking her.
Brittany shrugged again and answered nonchalantly. "Yesterday."
Yesterday.
It was like a sudden stab to her gut that quickly turned into a vice like grip and was making her feel kind of sick.
Did that mean 24 hours earlier someone else was staring into those blue eyes, kissing those lips and inhaling that fruity fragrance?
That was not fair, it was unbearable.
"Are you ok?" Brittany asked noticing her frowned expression.
"Hmm, yes sure." But she couldn't help but glare at her.
She needed to stop being so obsessed with her. She needed to let it go. She was with Ray, Brittany was fucking around and that was exactly how it was supposed to be. Things just needed to stay exactly the same.
"I just don't get you with your just sex thing. Aren't you afraid that you will end up alone eventually?" She asked trying to hide that was still mulling over the fact that Brittany had sex the day before with a random chick.
She couldn't stop but wonder what that girl might have looked like. Was she all girly and nice or was she more like a tattooed badass?
"Ok, I'll tell you something now but I swear to god this is just between you and I, am I clear?"
Santana nodded in silence.
"I might not be a fan of love, romantic things or relationships but I strongly believe that out there, there is someone made just for you."
And right when Santana was ready to say that the girl was completely far away from the normal way of thinking and living life she says something absolutely adorable.
"So you are basically saying that you believe in soul mates?"
"Nah, I just think that sooner or later everyone meets that only person that makes you want to stop and love her. I like to believe that when the time comes I won't have eyes for anyone else." She explained calmly, her eyes were somehow shining and Santana couldn't but feel a little bit jealous towards the imaginary person that would eventually steal the blonde's heart.
"Well, that is sweet and a little bit weird. I do believe that you can fall in love at different times of your life."
"True and I don't argue that, but I'm sure that even now if you think about your relationship you already know if Ray is the one, the person you are destined to be with."
"How can I know?"
"You just know, you feel it."
And Santana didn't fight back to those words since she had the sensation that the girl was right, again. The main problem was that she wasn't ready to admit the answer.
"Maybe you're right."
She managed to whisper before lowering her gaze to try to push away the feeling that Ray wasn't the right person.
May 8
02:10 am
Santana took her time as she was staring at her silhouette reflected in the mirror in front of her. The makeup had already faded away and she was left with just her natural self. She hinted a shy smile as she recognized herself in those shining chocolate eyes. For the first time in so long she felt happy and that was just what she needed at this point of her life. Happiness. She just wanted to feel free, without plaguing thoughts, simply happy.
She sighed when she suddenly realized that the calm sensation inside her, wouldn't last for long. The night would be over soon and she would have to leave Brittany and to go back to her normal, emotionless life. Somehow the thought didn't upset her that much, she still had the night after all and that meant just one thing. Brittany would be the first person she would see the following morning.
She wrapped her hand around the door knob and opened the door leaving the bathroom wearing a big, long football t-shirt that Brittany had given her for pajamas. The evening had been so pleasant and for the first time the two of them had really been able to talk and have some fun together. Brittany wasn't as she had pictured at all, she seemed so different from how she had originally perceived her. She was kind, funny and sweet. Of course every occasion was a great opportunity to mock or tease her but she had slowly got used to it and she had arrived at a point where Brittany's jokes were something that made her smile.
She stepped into the bedroom to sort out the sleeping arrangements but before she could form any words her brain stopped working. "Oh shit." She exclaimed her muscles automatically tensing immediately drawing the other girl's attention.
All the thoughts of being happy, calm and relaxed were blown away in a second. Her heart immediately started racing quickly against her chest, to the point it was almost hurting her.
How was someone supposed to survive that vision?
The fucking half naked body of Brittany S. Pierce was standing in the middle of the room.
The tattooist was in plain black underwear that was hiding all the intimate parts of her body, but Santana was still having breathing problems. She could tell that Brittany wasn't expecting her to pop out so soon since she blushed a little bit.
"Oh fuck." She commented as well but Santana's mind was already incapable of processing any other inputs.
The blonde's body was covered by tattoos they deliciously followed her subtle curves, accentuating the smoothness of her skin, the fit tone of her muscles.
Santana felt the same excitement building inside her she felt when she was admiring a work of art. But But she wasn't quite able to put into words what she was feeling.
Brittany looked up at her, eyes wide open. Embarrassment painted all over her face.
"Oh I'm so sorry I wasn't expecting you." She quickly told her whilst putting her pajama's on and trying to cover her modesty at the same time.
Santana realized that she wasn't looking at her anymore, she was eyeing her like a predator eyeing its next meal.
"No." She said making a step forward. She didn't recognize herself anymore, as if she was watching the scene from outside her body.
"Your body." She whispered even though she had no clue where she wanted to take that conversation. "Wow." Was indeed the only word she managed to formulate her brain was struggling to function properly due to the lack of oxygen. Brittany smiled nodding.
"My sister always says that I'm more like a painting than a real person."
"Amazing." She insisted trying slowly to regain control of her body.
"What was your first one?" She asked hoping to bring the conversation back to a decent level.
"This one." Brittany said turning herself to let her admire the drawing of a colorful bird on the blonde's back.
Santana let out a silent breath at the sight of the toned back arching a little bit trying to show the magnificent tattoo better. It occupied almost half of her smooth sculpted back. The Latina made another step in the tattooist's direction. Her brain was trying to formulate some sort plausible excuse to get her to the living room and close her eyes until the following morning but it was like her body was out of its control.
She only realized how close she was starting to get to the girl when she smelt the unmistakable fragrance and inhaled it directly into her lungs.
"Do you know that it is?" Brittany asked politely probably to fill the awkward silence that had settled between them.
"No, not exactly."
Santana replied still gazing the impressive drawing. It was like she was being drawn in by the explosion of color. She lifted her left hand slowly towards her back.
Her heart was still giving her vibrations through her chest and her mouth was completely dry.
She watched in silence her hand approaching the other girl's back. That wasn't her, that wasn't her hand.
A sudden hot wave quickly reached her lower limbs as her fingers touched the incredibly soft skin in front of her. Brittany wasn't expecting it at all and the spasm she made when Santana scratched her back was proof enough.
Santana couldn't believe what she was doing, she needed to stop. She fucking needed to take her hand off the beautiful back.
"I-it's a phoenix." Brittany said not moving at all. Santana's hand was still placed on the inked skin, but it wasn't moving either.
"It's beautiful." Santana commented studying the bird image carefully. It was both elegant and powerful. The body and the feathers were those of a bird, with a reddish color, but with the head of something that resembled a dragon.
The tattooist hesitated for a second before talking again.
"It's a mythological figure Santana. You know, In Greek mythology, a phoenix has a long life and when it dies it is reborn again. It rises from the ashes of its predecessor. I liked it because it expresses the new life that still holds the essence of its previous life."
She explained calmly before turning herself to stare at her with those blue gems.
Santana realized how damn close the two of them were.
Oh fuck.
"Since it was the beginning of my new life I thought it was a cool meaning." She finished with a sweet smile.
"It is indeed." Santana said back in a whisper.
Santana wanted so badly to look away, to take a step back but her body was refusing to listen to her. Damn, she was playing with fire, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist much longer and she was becoming increasingly aware of Brittany moving forward. Unconsciously her gaze dropped from the blonde's eyes to her lips.
Oh no, no no…
But before she could feel the blonde body against hers, she noticed with one eye Brittany walking right next to her and taking a pillow from the bed.
The girl stopped for a second before looking at her again, Santana hadn't pulled her gaze away from her for one second.
"Good night." She said.
"Where are you going?" she quickly questioned.
"On the couch."
"Oh no, there's no way you are sleeping on the couch." Santana said determined. Brittany had been so awesome for the entire evening there was no reason why she should be the one sleeping on an uncomfortable couch.
"There is no way you are sleeping on a couch you are my guest." Brittany replied firmly, staring at her with a determined expression that made it clear that she wouldn't let her win very easily.
"Well we can…" Santana suggested with a trembling tone, rolling her eyes at the double bed and then again at the blonde's face.
"Santana Lopez, are you really asking me to sleep with you?" she said teasingly. "I thought I was the only one who behaved inappropriately."
"Oh, shut up. You can always go and sleep on the fucking couch."
"Hey! One night with me look at you all arrogant and combative."
Santana immediately blushed. Maybe that was too much.
"Sorry."
"Oh no, I like it." Brittany replied quickly, trotting to the other side of the bed and getting into it.
Santana hesitated for a second because she was mentally trying to figure out if this was something wrong or acceptable in the relationship manual. If Ray had slept with a girl, even without doing anything else, she would have been so mad, to the point that she would have probably ended their relationship. But Brittany wasn't another man, Brittany was a girl and she wasn't attracted to her, right?
But if that was right, why the hell was she feeling like she was about to do something morally wrong on all possible levels?
Oh fuck you Santana.
She thought before jumping in the bed. She was doing nothing wrong and she really did need to relax a bit.
She rolled herself on her side to face Brittany. The moonlight coming through the window made it possible to discern the features of the girl, but she didn't need to open her eyes to feel the blonde's own eyes scrutinizing her.
"Hey, don't even think of doing anything weird."
"Oh you wish." Brittany replied.
"Now, shut up and sleep." The blonde ordered. "I'm not going to move, not even an inch." She added. Santana nodded in the dark and rolled on to her other side, to avoid any type of blind eye contact.
Being turned away from Brittany was her way of feeling safe and out of the danger zone.
She didn't know how, but somehow, minute after minute her eyes started getting heavier, her mind free and relaxed. She sighed right before falling asleep with a smile still painted on her face.
May8
08:00 am
There is always a moment during the waking up process when you are not truly aware of what is going on around you.
The next morning Santana first felt the warm sensation of the sun light, slightly caressing her jaw, waking her up sweetly. She moaned while her brain was slowly bringing her back to reality, for a second she had no clue where she was, what day it was or what she had done, she only concentrated on the sensation of happiness filling her completely and making her smile as she opened her eyes.
At first the image was blurred but she didn't need eyes to understand that Brittany S Pierce was in the same room, the fruity fragrance of her skin was one of the first things her mind processed.
Her heart immediately raced as the image she had in front of her became clear and vivid. Brittany was lying right in front of her and it was okay as the events of the previous night suddenly flooded her mind. The two of them had shared a bed but she wasn't expecting how her body had moved.
She had fallen asleep so suddenly and to her surprise, she had managed to sleep for probably seven or eight hours in a row, which she hadn't done in a really long time.
Brittany was still sleeping in the same position, the tattooist had indeed kept her promise, she hadn't moved, not even an inch. Her body however was extremely close to the blonde's she was practically hugging her.
Her head was softly placed on Brittany's pillow, so close to the blonde's face that she was able to feel every breath hitting the side of her neck and sending shivers down her spine.
Holy fucking Jesus.
Her heart was still beating fast against her ribcage and she was afraid that it was pulsating so hard she would eventually wake the blonde.
Brittany was gorgeous, her features were amazingly enlightened by the sunlight and her calm expression made her seem so peaceful.
Santana couldn't help but notice a lock of golden hair that fell gently on her face, covering part of it. Her first impulse was to lift the hand that was still placed on the girl's side and to sweetly move the hair obstructing the tattooist's skin but as she tried to control her body the arm felt too damn heavy. She forced herself to pay attention and lift her hand but it was burning from the smoothness of the skin it was connected with.
Her heart still pounding in her chest, and the dryness in her mouth was not making the task any easier. She wanted to die. She was about to faint as her slim fingers moved the strand of hair, placing it behind her ear, sweetly scratching Brittany's ear lobe.
What the hell was she doing?
Panic suddenly over took her she wasn't supposed to cuddle in the bed of another person. She was supposed to be at home, in her own bed with her boyfriend.
Fuck.
She rolled on her side and silently slid out of the bed.
She quickly run out of the room and put her trousers on.
Quietly she sought out a piece of paper and a pen.
Thanks for the fun.
Those were the only words she managed to write down before rushing downstairs and getting into her car.
She looked at the car's digital watch.
08 May 2013 - 08:30 am
She sighed as she realized that the next session with Brittany would have been right on the day of her birthday.
Hey guys! i know it took me a while to update (sorry!) but summer is very distracting :P
Anyway, next week i'll leave for Boston for a couple of weeks (so excited!) but i'll try to write a lot before my departure:)
Oh..aaaand..I've recently joined Tumblr, follow me if you want. I'll post something about Urban Ink and other shows!
My account is: orphanfangirl
Hope you liked the chap and whish you wonderful holidays!
xoxo