"I apologize if the steak is not quality," Logan said bashfully as Carlos made a plate of steak and mashed potatoes and green beans, which they had made together. Logan hadn't cooked much of anything his whole life, so Carlos decided it was time he learned, just for the hell of it. They had spent the day unpacking the apartment, and now it was night.

Carlos sat and cut a chunk from his steak, stopping before it reached his mouth, practically dripping with blood.

"Logan, I realize you like it bloody, har-dee-har," Carlos smirked, slapping the meat back on the indoor grill and turning it on. "But I can get really sick if I eat that."

"My apologies, Carlos, I didn't mean to," Logan apologized.

"We worked on this, Logan. Say 'sorry'."

"Sorry," Logan sighed.

"See? Wasn't that a hundred times easier? And it's cool, bro," Carlos laughed, making his way to the door. "They're home!"

Logan didn't know how Carlos knew, but he opened the door just as Kendall was about to put the key in the hole.

"Hello, pumpkin," Kendall chimed, bending to pecked Carlos on the lips as he entered. "What's Logan doing here?"

"We spent all day together! It was so much fun- we got a lot of unpacking done," Carlos said. Kendall looked around to see only a few boxes remained and the entertainment center was put together.

"Where is James?" Logan asked.

"He went to your apartment," Kendall grumbled.

"You can go, dude, I've got the steak," Carlos said. "We won't call the cops when we hear yelling."

"Goodbye, Carlos, I will see you soon," Logan said, swiftly moving for the door.

"JAMES DYLAN DIAMOND, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" Logan's voice rang through the apartment. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

He stormed into the bedroom and stopped in his tracks when he saw his damn husband in only a pair of navy blue briefs- the kind with light blue seams that Logan liked. His muscles rippled below his tan skin and James gave Logan a look like "you're really gonna be mad at all THIS?"

"Where were you?" Logan growled trying to focus on James' hazel eyes, but had to look away from the seductiveness.

"Just out with Kendall. We went to Windrixville," James said casually, approaching Logan slowly.

"James, don't," Logan jerked from the soft touch on his bicep. "Why were you there? Why didn't you tell me? What did you do?"

"Kendall thought it was important that we know more about each other. I didn't tell you because I forgot, and I'm sorry. We just roamed around, I helped him feed the way you taught me, and we talked. I learned a lot about him," James answered, reaching forward to hook his indexes into Logan's belt loops and pull him forward.

"I am SO mad at you right now," Logan hissed, tearing away and going to the dresser. He retrieved a t-shirt and launched it at James to put on. "Don't even TRY seducing me!"

James sighed- it was worth a try- and slipped on the shirt and PJ pants on the floor.

"Honey, why're you so mad? It wasn't a big deal."

"I was so WORRIED about you! I woke up and you were gone! Your cell phone was on the table! I went over to Carlos' apartment and I had to hear from HIM that you went with Kendall!" Logan lectured. "I was worried that you had finally found someone better and was never coming home! You are LUCKY that Carlos distracted me, or I would have gone after you and staked him!"

"Logie, you're being ridiculous. Kendall just wanted to bond, cause I'm his maker and he's my creation and we knew nothing about each other."

"You could not have done that here?"

"No! Because YOU would get jealous and kill him- again!"

"Do not turn this one me!"

"Loge-," James sighed, running his hands over his face. "Please?"

"What did you learn about him today, James? His CHILDHOOD?"

"Yeah!"

"You do not even know about MY childhood!" Logan snapped.

"I do too! I know that you loved to take care of the horses and you and Hector would play ball with the poor kids and that you were good at school and Hector wasn't and that-,"

"I do not want to hear it, James!"

"Really? Cause frankly I'm a little confused as to why you asked, then," James retorted.

"I am married to a child!"

"Then what? I'm too IMMATURE?"

"James!"

"Why can't you get it into your thick little noggin that I've loved you for sixty straight years, and I wouldn't change that because of some blonde fuck that I met? A blonde fuck that has a boyfriend! If you're so insecure, LEAVE!"

"FINE!"

James' jaw dropped as Logan whirled to the closet and got out his old backpack, stuffing things into it. Okay, he knew Logan was just proving a point, but James knew he had taken it too far.

"No, no, no, NO, baby, put that all back," James said, coming up behind Logan and turning the backpack upside down to spill the contents out. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I'm a jackass."

"I hate you! I cannot believe that I've spent this much of my life with you!"

"Loge, you're just blowing smoke now. Shut up," James grabbed his wrists and waited to have Logan's eyes on his. Logan, however, being angry and more powerful, escaped his bonds, grabbed either side of James' head, and stared.

"Don't you do it, Logan Mitchell," James growled. He really wasn't in the mood to die. Logan, of course, snapped his neck anyway and watched with satisfaction as James' body fell like a sack of potatoes to the ground. He loved the satisfying "CRACK!" of the neck bone of someone he was angry with.

After a while, we set the neck bone and carried James carefully to the bed.

"Why do you think I'll leave you for Kendall?" James asked quietly, approaching Logan, who was slowly putting everything from the backpack back in their places in the drawers. His neck hurt like hell, but he HAD to finish this conversation. Logan was very calm now as he turned to his previously dead husband. He had been thinking the fight over all this time, and he thought he figured out his jealousy.

Logan's eyes filled with bloody tears for the first time in a long time and his lip quivered.

"Because you should," he said weakly.

"What?" James watched as blood tracked down his husband's cheek.

"I am but a cranky old man who does not deserve such a chipper person to love me," Logan said quietly. "Kendall can play with you and joke and have fun. I know you will realize that."

"Sweetie," James whispered pitifully, his arms wrapping around Logan's waist as he kissed away Logan's tears. Logan sniffled as James held him. He never wanted to admit that to James- never meant to tell ANYONE that. "I've loved you and only you for sixty years and I'll keep doing that for sixty more, and sixty after that, and sixty after that- forever."

"I do not deserve you. I deserve dust."

"Yeah, you're not a jokester, and you don't like doing crazy shit. But know what? You take care of me. And even if you left me and Kendall left Carlos and it was only us, I wouldn't be with him. I'd kill myself, cause you left me."

"You would not."

"Yup. Stake myself in a heartbeat."

Logan cuddled deeper into James, wiping his tears freely on his shirt.

"If me and Kendall met somehow before I met you, we'd be best friends at most. Cause that's what we should be- best friends. We don't fit together romantically. I need someone tough and sure of himself- like you. Kendall- he's big and goofy and unstable."

"I am quite tough and sure of myself now, aren't I?" Logan chuckled.

"I can deal with a few times," James laughed. Logan took a cleansing breath and pulled from James' arms, James wiping smeared blood from his cheeks.

"I must go apologize to Kendall," he said quietly. James' jaw dropped and his brows raised.

"Logan Mitchell- APOLOGIZING? You didn't even apologize for murdering me!"

"Because I am not sorry for that," Logan smirked.

Carlos was surprised to find Logan outside the door, looking serene.

"Hey, dude, what's up," Carlos said brightly. "James kick you out?"

"No," Logan smiled a little. "I… I came to apologize."

"Oh… Come in," Carlos said, stepping back for Logan to enter. Kendall was at the table, waiting for Carlos to come back. When he saw Logan, he jumped up, hands up in surrender.

"Nothing happened, dude, I swear," he said quickly.

"May I sit?" Logan asked Carlos quietly.

"Sure, man," Carlos smiled, sitting where he was to eat, Logan next to him at the round table, across from Kendall.

"I won't be long," Logan said, running his hand through his hair. "I just came by to apologize to you, Kendall."

Kendall's eyes flashed suspiciously to the smiling Carlos.

"It was unfair of me to think that you would steal my husband from me. It was unfair of me to kill you. It was unfair of me to act in such a horrid manner toward you, and I am truly sorry for what I have done," Logan murmured. "I am ashamed of myself for it. You are the creation of my husband- he loves you and I must be supportive."

Kendall sat in shock, just staring at Logan.

"Kenny! Say something," Carlos hissed.

"Um… Yeah… I know I can be a dickhead sometimes, so I can't blame you."

"I was insecure because I saw a better mate for my husband in you than I could ever be," Logan said, looking ashamed down at the table.

"What?" Kendall retorted, no longer embarrassed. He had spent a lot of that day talking about just how much James loved him, and he wouldn't take that from Logan. Logan looked up, surprised. "He LOVES you and all your flaws! Like, I spent all day listening to how deeply he feels about you, and dammit you better believe it! There's nothing in this whole WORLD he would trade for you. He told me he'd kill himself if you asked him to!"

"Yes, but part of that is because I am his maker."

"I don't give a shit! He would NEVER leave you! EVER!"

"Well, that is what he told me."

"Good. And you believe him?"

"I suppose."

Carlos could see that Kendall was getting heated, so he intercepted.

"Everyone gets insecure. Like, in high school Kendall ALWAYS thought I'd leave him for a girl, cause most of my friends were girls. And you know what? I bet James gets scared that you'll find someone else, too. You're not obligated to love him, after all. Maybe he's scared you'll find some proper old prick to love instead of him," Carlos shrugged.

"He knows I wouldn't."

"And he THOUGHT you knew he wouldn't leave you."

Logan was silent, finally seeing the point.

"Thanks for coming by, Logan… That was really cool of you," Kendall said. Logan stood slowly and nodded. "And maybe I should be worried. Carlos wouldn't stop talking about his day with you," he smirked. Carlos laughed and punched his shoulder and Logan had to laugh a little, too.

"Work on your 2013 talk, bro," Carlos said as he left.

"You got it, dude," Logan called.

"Wrong year!"

Ah, yes. Beautiful.

Guys, just think about something for a sec. Use your imagination about the show:

What if Logan was the pretty one and James was the smart one?

What if James was the leader and Kendall was the pretty one?

What if Logan was the goofy one and Carlos was the smart one?

What if Carlos was the leader, Kendall the smart one, Logan the pretty one, and James the goofy one?

Has anyone ever stopped to just THINK about this?!