(Anonymous Tumblr request for Fantasy AU with Eleven and Wash. This is... quite the crackfic. Written 12.14.12.)
The clawed beast shuddered under my boot as I pried my freshly-aimed arrow from its flesh. From its mangled claws stumbled a young knight with dented armor. His chain mail shone in the waning sunlight, his previously untouched uniform in pieces. Large rips ran through the clothing as it hung from his form in ribbons of gray and yellow. He stood up shakily as his eyes fell on me, and he gasped.
"Good evening, thou damsel in distress," I said with a smile, placing my bow back into its holder.
"M'lady!" he stuttered. "Lady—"
"Pray hold!" I interrupted him sharply. "Thou knowest not to use my true name, Sir Davyd."
"Oh— oh, yes, Lady Evelyn," he corrected himself, a look of shock still painted across his face. "Apologies. How didst thou arrive here? Thou knowest thou is not allowed—"
"Of course I understand such situations," I snapped smartly. "However, if I had not come, thou wouldst be in the belly of that beast."
"And for that I am eternally grateful." He stood up straight, and, for the first time, I noticed his arm was bloodied.
"Sir Davyd!" I rushed to the knight, immediately ripping a stretch of fabric from my skirt.
Upon seeing my ankles, Davyd's face burned bright. "Ev— M— M'lady, such measures of indecency are not warranted for such—"
"Hush now. I may do as I wish with my own articles of clothing." I pressed the fabric to his arm. "Dost it pain you greatly?"
The knight shook his head. "Thine presence seeps pain from my being."
"As dost the presence of my ankles," I replied dryly, smirking. The knight began to protest, but I covered his mouth with my palm. "Shh, good sir. If thou behaves, perhaps thou shalt see more than that when we return tonight."