ARE YOU ALL FUCKING KIDDING ME THIS CHAPTER WAS UP FOR AT LEAST MAYBE 2 MONTHS WHY DID NOONE TELL ME I STILL HAD THE 'CANDY KINGDOM' SHIT UP IN THERE THAT WAS A REALLY OBVIOUS PERSONAL NOTE for real next time I accidentally let something slip please tell me because I just felt like re-reading this baby and I got so embarrassed holy frick also i forgot the meaning behind 'not having duck for dinner' myself ill try to google it maybe
Okay so, Hi. I have been playing pokemon nonstop but from now on I'll try to upload every tuesday. I'm also thinking of having every chapter around three thousand words. You cool with that? Just.. say so if you're not idk.
Okay so, story information time. I'm using Alternian and Beforan here as different areas in the same city. I think you know what I mean with that, and if not, you'll get it when it's in context. All ya gotta know is Gamzee's from the alternian part of town while Kurloz is from the Beforan.
Have fun reading~
''This hive looks motherfucking nice!''
Gamzee exclaimed as he strode in, casual and laid back as ever. He looked around with a dope smile on his face, taking Kurloz' apartment in. He wasn't stoned right now, Kurloz noted after observing him for a moment, not badly at least. He could've seen it coming, though. Never do something important while under influence, he learned that lesson when he tried to cut Mituna's hair after taking some sopor. They certainly weren't lying when they said it was the strongest drug you could possibly lay your hands on, Mituna had to wear a helmet, to hide his hair, for at least 5 weeks and then he got emotionally attached to it. Kurloz chuckled and looked back up to Gamzee, who was now looking at Kurloz.
''Sorry, bro. I all up and zoned out looking at this place while I was supposed to be slamming down surprise noodles, like maybe your name?''
Gamzee suggested. Was he absolutely serious right now? He didn't even know Kurloz' name? It was on the ad, the call sheet too. He's even been wearing a nametag for shits 'n giggles this week. He bet Gamzee didn't even read the ad, nor his nametag. He probably wouldn't have even remembered Kurloz if it wasn't for him offering his place. This little bit of gained information didn't roll kindly with him. He gave in, no point in making a show about it if the other isn't going to remember, and got his notepad and pen out of his pocket.
'KURLOZ'
It read in all capitals, just the way he preferred. Who needed lowercase anyway. He stuck his hand out for Gamzee to read the note and saw Gamzee's focus zone in on it, but only for a brief moment.
''Kurbro, then.''
Gamzee let the newfound nickname, that didn't really float a whole bunch a miles away from the one he heard him call the 'Karkat' kid by, roll off his tongue and followed it up by letting that gorgeous talk blaster form a grin. He snorted for a second and turn around again.
''Guide me through the blocks, Kurbro.''
Kurloz stepped up properly and started walking, all the while listening to the little comments Gamzee was making, he seemed… amazed. Not only by having said the word five times now in just three proper sentences, along with miraculous and magic, but also by the way his eyes lit up when he saw something he hadn't seen before.
''Aw bro, this hive's got all the ideal blocks. It's even got the proper sizes and everything. Shit's straight up miracles for my glance nuggers.''
Maybe he was stoned after all. Kurloz detached the pen from the notepad and started scrawling again..
'SINCE WHEN IS THAT SO MOTHERFUCKING SPECIAL? WHAT KIND OF SHIT PLACES HAVE YOU BEEN GLANCING AT?'
He slit his arm to Gamzee's chest, to make him stop walking further, and wiggled with the notepad. He read it and Kurloz could've sworn he saw war-flashbacks in those nearly perfect purple orbs.
''Straight up motherfucking dumps, bro.''
He started, taking a breath afterwards. Kurloz nearly regret asking, he didn't like talking that much, or actually, being talked to. That breath indicated this was going to be longer than your average reply, which would have normally gotten him to somehow cut the other person of immediately, but he kind of actually wanted to hear Gamzee's story.
''One sis, her hive man. Four blocks hosting 10-something pawbeasts, not even big enough to host two motherfuckers, y'know? Pawbeasts must've felt cramped. Not even going into detail 'bout the figurative and literal shit that was lying around.''
For some strange reason, Kurloz wanted him to continue and felt himself ready to do just about anything to get him to. His voice was a drug. He'd probably been using so long that he's become a drug. That'd explain a lot.
But drugs are drugs and you can't save yourself, so Kurloz paid up.
'YOU DISLIKE ANIMALS?'
That was probably the lowest motherfucking fee any self-respecting dealer would sell for. Was he really so fucking desperate for the greens he'd lower himself for it? Jegus. It didn't even matter, for all Kurloz cared he could be beating up barkbeasts in the weekend, he didn't have animals himself so it's all cool. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, as long as he didn't beat up barkbeasts in his free time, all was cool.
''Animals, I can motherfucking deal with, the mess I could ignore, granted the toxic air won't slowly cull me from inside, but the sis that was trying to sell me it… I up and thought she wanted to grind into me at the spot right on that nasty crack carpet with the pawbeasts watching. I can't sleep when I know there's a motherfucker just up in the other block wanting to get into my boxers''
Well fuck. Then Kurloz better not mention he has the slight intention to do exactly that. He caught himself thinking back to all his embarrassing moments of weakness, which was exactly what this disturbing feeling was: weakness. And maybe he was sexually deprived. Whatever is was, he just needed to get his act together.
Focusing on the subject at hand, he cleared his earlier thoughts out and scribbled down on his notepad.
'PAWBEAST BITCHES CRAWLING ON TOP OF YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TRYING TO WORK ON YOUR BOXERS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A GOOD WAKE UP CALL, NO #:O)'
Kurloz you're doing great. He'll never suspect that you'd want him to be your pawbeastbitch in that situation.
''Depends on who we're talking about, but yeah.''
Gamzee winked while he said that and Kurloz could really not handle that. Even with his slightly expressionless face, had you put your inner Sherlock to action, you'd have noticed the blush creeping on his face. That was a flirt move, wasn't it? It definitely was. Kurloz didn't know how to flirt. He'd have exactly one girlfriend before and they really didn't flirt. They just were and that was that. He'd skipped out on his flirting 101 and he was coming to greatly regret that. He'd Google it later.
For Kurloz, the silence that they kept while he showed Gamzee around some more was extremely awkward. Maybe he should've tried flirting back? He tried to break it by scribbling down some unnecessary details about certain rooms every now and than, but that didn't do the trick. He was already approaching the end of the tour. All that was really left to do was talk business, so he tried that.
'WHAT DO YOU THINK?'
Gamzee looked confused for a moment and Kurloz could pinpoint the exact moment that he got what the other was talking about. Mainly since he could hear an 'oh' escape after a few seconds of looking like a lost puppy.
''Like I said earlier, Kurbro, this place looks motherfucking legit. It's a fucking miracle man. There's just one thing-''
Kurloz looked up, searching Gamzee's eyes. One thing? Not to brag but his place was a motherfucking kingdom.
''Not about the place, but you-''
Jegus Christ that's even worse.
''I mean it's not my business but-''
No it's not, stop that right now.
''Do you have some motherfucking shout sphincters or not?''
He could see the uncertainty in Gamzee's stance and it wasn't misplaced, especially when he noticed how hostile his own body language became. He'd been expecting the question, of course, but the other'd lasted so long without letting it slip that Kurloz was nearly convinced he wouldn't ask at all and just roll with it. That was never the case, though.
He hesitated, he wanted to spill his entire being to Gamzee because of this weird attraction but he didn't want to tell anyone about his oath. That was something between him and his kittybitch and no one had the right to pry, especially not some newcomer barging in with his pretty eyes and handsome face that were driving Kurloz insane.
'THAT'S PERSONAL.'
Clean and easy just like that. Telling him to lay off without actually being rude. He almost regretted not spilling the beans all over the motherfucking kitchen floor when Gamzee gave him an apologetic look. He wasn't going to argue that it looked great on him, but he had too much self-entitled pride to actually let someone feel sorry for him. Or towards him. Whatever it actually was, Kurloz wouldn't have none of it.
''Looks like we ain't having duck for dinner.''
Kurloz was relieved he let it go so quickly, but he also sort of hated that. The kid definitely flirted with him earlier, he should act up and take responsibility. He should want to know, feel entitled to. Just feel just as mentally clusterfucked as Kurloz does.
''At least you won't talk my motherfucking ears off. I was up in Karbro's actual bloodbro's hive, which he up and offered himself, but no matter how legit it looked he kept on motherfucking blasting away. Almost considered going back to the pawbeastbitch and offer her my nook. It was motherfucking insufferable.''
That… sounded really familiar and Kurloz couldn't help but ask.
'WAS THIS PERSON BY ANY CHANCE NAMED KANKRI?'
The laugh that escaped Gamzee's lips was motherfucking magnificent. When it caught up with him he was already smiling along. It was beautiful and contagious. It sounded like a honk, which might be a big turn off for most people, but Kurloz loved that sound; his father had a hobby for juggling and he'd grown up with that sound. While way too nostalgic for his tastes, he never wanted Gamzee to stop.
''You know him?''
Kurloz hung his head a bit, offering a shameful smile. Don't get him wrong, he tolerated Kankri because that dude had his shit lined up and wasn't as annoying as most, even with his constant blabbing, but he might have had a little crush on him years back.
''YES, SINCE HIGHSCHOOL. ALTHOUGH WE CALLED HIM KRANKI MOST OF THE TIME.''
Gamzee chuckeled, bringing his mouth to his hand and hiding the lips that were revealing his, a bit too sharp and pointy to be naturally born with, teeth. When Kurloz caught himself noticing strange little details about the other again, he quickly pulled out a seat, cleared his throat and sit down. For Gamzee this was seemingly an invitation he'd been waiting for as he plopped down right across from Kurloz.
''No but his hive was all kinds of magic man. Really, if it weren't for him blasting I would've taken the room in 0.5 seconds, even if it was buoy, cip ain't everything.''
Gamzee added some, to Kurloz, useless information afterwards. Not that he didn't want to hear it. Gamzee could start spilling about mathematics and Kurloz would still be at the edge of his seat.
''I had this slam poetry session with a bro and picked up all this wicked slang. Buoy is, like, low class, you dig? CIP is the opposite, high class. Beforan's motherfucking weird, bro. I was all up in their hives, culling fuckers left and right, handing their horns to them and they took it the wrong way. Did you know their cull is adopt and coddle? Motherfucking strange.''
He explained. Kurloz nodded once. He'd never tried slam poetry but he knew what it was. It was strictly altarnian for as far as he knew, though, so he was a bit surprised people from the beforan part of town had picked it up. He couldn't argue with their slang being difficult to understand. Especially for someone born and raised alternian.
Both sat for a little longer, having the conversation lead to the little details of rent and garbage day and all that, but Gamzee's phone rang and he excused himself. He walked into the garden, closing the door behind him. That didn't do enough to keep out the croaky voice on the other end, though.
''ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY REALLY GOING TO MOVE IN WITH A POSSIBLE CRIMINAL? I FUCKING TOLD YOU ABOUT THE LOOKS HE WAS GIVING YOU. …WELL THEN ENJOY YOUR FORCED DEEPTROATH PARTIES. …I WILL PISS ON YOUR GRAVE YOU NAÏVE FUCKER, SO HELP ME. …GO FUCK YOURSELF.''
It was silent after that. He could hear the door opening again and Gamzee's footsteps coming closer. He looked up to be greeted by a brilliant, toothy grin and he wondered how he could possibly be so happy after having the device so close to his ear with that motherfucker screaming profanities in it. He guessed it was the same as he was with Mituna, though, when he's trying to whisper a secret to Kurloz. You just get used to it.
''SOUNDED LIKE A FUN CONVERSATION #:O)''
He wrote down. Gamzee's grin only widened after reading the note.
''You heard?''
He questioned. He didn't seem surprised, though.
''IT WAS RATHER HARD TO MISS.''
He wasn't surprised at all, no. He actually seemed proud. Like being able to scream that loud was something really motherfucking special that deserved a medal. Re-thinking that, if that was Gamzee's train of thought, he was right. The boy did deserve a medal.
''Yeah, that was my main motherfucker. It's his way of caring.''
Gamzee smiled. Kurloz could only imagine what else those beautiful lips could do, what other sounds they could let escape and jegus Christ for the love of the messiahs he should stop that right now before he starts getting pupa fantasies. He, yet again, got his act together and restarted their earlier topic. Back to rent, because you can always count on that to block and impending boner.
Seems he found himself a new room mate.
Authors note:
That's another chapter. Jesus help me for I am not getting through these chapters fast enough. We're still in the first. Oops. We'll get there, though. Yes, yes we will. And maybe it's a great distraction for Homestuck ending which I'm sure we're all crying over.
Yeah sooo, back to topics that aren't heart breaking:
I received a review about Kurloz' clothing, and I'm going to answer it here in case of others being confused about that too. Aight so listen up, Kurloz wears out of the norm clothes. What is out and in of the norm is really up to you. He's from the beforan part of town, which is high class as fuck and people there might just avoid him when he's walking the streets. We're kind of going with nearly everyone is posh or normal except for our cutie trolls in this universe. But really, what he wears is up to your own imagination; you can put him in cutie long sleeved sweaters, a bdsm get up or really anything in between, it's really all up to you in that case, I'm guilty of doing both so yeah I can't judge. In case you don't have imagination, which I find hard to believe, or just want to see how I see him here, I can draw something up idk, if you want.
Have a great day, ya lovelies~