Box Magic. The magic being that the boxes didn't mysteriously vanish like they should've. If only Eridan was a proper wizard.
Hahaha I'm ashamed of myself. I literally didn't get any shit done the last month or maybe even two months who knows i havent been keeping track of time. I even neglected that. Actually literally nothing. Not even school projects. -I'm not allowed back in AV class until I settle it with my teach. Settle, of course, meaning telling him he's totally right on everything. wow what a bummer I don't have to see that jerkwad for the rest of the year. Real upset about that.- Okay so back to stuff that isn't my personal shitstorm; I'm back bby. And this time I probably won't leave for another long period of time unless I get into a horrible accident or die. Which probably won't happen, the last van that tried to knock me off the road ended up needing dent-repair and a new bumper while I didn't even bruise. ENJOY
For the love of the messiahs, was it even humanly possible to be that loud? Not that Kurloz was entirely sure the whole lot of Gamzee's friends were actually human, in fact, he was pretty sure one of the girls was secretly a cat hybrid.
Kurloz groaned and lifted another box to his shoulder, resting it there and walking back inside with it. As simple as the task might sound, it really wasn't. Not with a fuckton of boxes, both opened and closed, sprawled all over the place and kids rolling about from left and right doing next to nothing of the things they're actually supposed to do.
Gamzee might as well not have asked them to help him move his stuff. His friends, these motherfuckers, they really seemed to have escaped straight out of a mental asylum. Of course, Kurloz wasn't one to talk, seeing as he hung out with motherfuckers equally crazy, if not more. He chuckled to himself when he imaged them being there too. That'd be a fun train wreck to watch.
''What the fuck Gamzee! You literally have five fucking boxes filled with horns!?''
A croaky voice he'd come to recognize all too well blasted from outside. Maybe he should pass the kid some green so he could chill the fuck outtie, have his shout sphincters get some time out. He would actually do that, if it weren't for Kankri who'd without a doubt send him into next week using only words. Litterally. Kankri's ability to speak was not to be underestimated. Writing that one off as a bad- no, horrible idea, he let his mind travel to something else, like how the kid may have sounded had he not discovered the option of raising his voice.
''Stop your whining, KK. Try actually fucking helping.''
Says the one who only cleared one box so far, Kurloz mentally noted. He feels kind of douchy for doing it, but he kept track, mainly to just further annoy himself on the fact that these boxes just aren't getting cleared. He must be slightly masochistic. Maybe that was also the reason he started walking back out again, to pick up more boxes.
He sort of wondered how Gamzee even has this much stuff, or how this was possibly going to fit in his room, but never what is was he actually felt was important enough to ship over. He'd seen some of the shit cat-hybrid pulled out.
''I am helping! I'm cleaning up Nepeta's fucking mess! Speaking of, Nepeta you fucking stop right there! Do not fucking-''
Kurloz's eyes went from Karkat to cat-hybrid- or catnip, seeing as she most likely was on something of the sort- seeing exactly why he'd stopped his sentence half way. The girl was already up in the motherfucking air, leaping towards yet another box.
''Nepeta jumps the box!''
He was positive he heard something crack.
''For fucks sake Nepeta, I just fucking told you!''
Too late, kid. Her make-shift claws were already on the box she squashed earlier.
''She opens it! Inside she finds purrlicious looking bottles of unknown substance and opens one.''
Karkat better clean that up too. Kurloz sighed, as he has done oh so many times in the past few hours. They really didn't need his own friends. This was already a train wreck.
''Oh my flippin' Cod, Nep. I'm with Kar on this one. Stop throwin' Gam's things around, I have other things to do today, y'know.''
Kurloz has completely given up on doing anything now, fuck this masochism bullshit. The catastrophe in action was way more interesting. He sat himself down against the brick wall and watched the scene play out. It really was amusing.
''Hey Eridan, maybe if you'd actually touch a box you could go home faster and cry over Harry Potter fanfiction after jerking one out to Draco.''
Woah. Kurloz nearly doubled over in laughter. He didn't though, he was a professional and professionals don't double over in laughter for a cheap low blow.
''Excuse you. Are you suggestin' I should dirty my hands on who-knows-what Gam has collected over these past years. Also, you're just jealous because I'm not jerkin' it to you, like you'd obviously want me to. I can practically smell the sexual tension you're buildin' up over my booty.''
Mediocre comeback, but still effective since the Captor kid blushed. He actually blushed. What a plot twist. He bumped the kid standing next to him, Zahhak he remembered, the only one of the bunch who actually knew hand signals.
'Five bucks on that they're going to bone.'
He looked shocked to say the least, maybe he called this one wrong? Poor kid broke out in sweat and started stuttering.
''B-betting, a vile thing on it's own, b-but on such a v-vulgar subject, I-I mustn't.''
No fun.
''But if you'd wish me too, I'd raise you ten. They're definitely going to bone.''
How his speech went to a whole new level, or maybe downgraded, Kurloz couldn't care less, nearly surprised him. The kid picked up three boxes and went inside quickly. Kurloz watched him go and grinned, leaning back on the wall. He focused back on the scene.
''Oh my Cod Eridan! Just help out you useless nooksniffer!''
Fishy's stance immediately went to defence, but Kurloz lost interest as he heard wheels approaching. This kid didn't really get in and out well, so Kurloz already started making his move to get up.
''Uh, Gamzee? I… Can't get in. Again.''
Oh wow, way to treat a brother like air. Whatever man, the ground is way more comfortable anyway, guess you'd know from every time you feel out of your wheelchair and couldn't get back up. Asshole.
''No worries Tavbro, I got this.''
Kurloz focused in on Gamzee carelessly strolling over, reaching Wheely and easily lifting him over the step, nearly hitting Kurloz in the face in the process. Maybe he died sometime when he was inside and he is actually a ghost now. Combine that theory with the Zahhak kid interacting with him just now and you've got some perfect sort-of plot fitting Sixth Sense bullshit. Or he died right after the kid ran out on him and didn't even notice. Who knows.
Not really caring whether he was dead or not, he let his focus slide again. It went straight back to the mess in front of him- note that he wasn't speaking of just the belongings that have been shattered around. They were a very colourful bunch to say the least. For a job that shouldn't even require and hour, they where already at it for double, maybe triple, the time.
''Uh, guys? I can't get out now.''
Well, that was pretty general. Guys does refer to Kurloz, along with some others, so he got back on his feet. Just about to tap the kid's shoulder for recognition- didn't want to scare him and have his heart fail him the way his legs already did- Okay wow no Kurloz. That's it. Stop being pissed off and making stabs at this guy just because you got ignored one time. Even passive-aggressive Kankri would be about ready to bitchslap some sense into you right now.
Being lost in his own thoughts, Gamzee already showed up behind the kid. Guess you lost this round.
He watched Gamzee repeat his earlier actions, which were pretty much the same; pick up, put down- only this time with more care for details. Like how his muscles flexed and how his bones clicked as he stretched his arms. Being so intensely focused, he sure as hell didn't miss the blush that appeared on Wheely's face as Gamzee brushed his hand through the kid's Mohawk, right over his face and leaving his, now scrunched, fingers to tickle over the other's jawline.
That certainly wasn't what he wanted to see. Kankri can bitchslap him all he wants.
Who even asks a disabled person to help them move, they can't do much. Slow and Weak nearly falls out of his chair when's he's trying to pick up a box!
Kurloz mentally slapped himself. Wheels has actually been of great help. Next to nearly falling out of his chair every now and then and needing help getting in and out, he'd actually cleared the most boxes out of all of them. Not including himself.
''I believe I broke something. My sincere apologies.''
When did he get back? Kurloz didn't even notice. New theory; they were both ghosts and this is nothing like Sixth Sense.
''It's okay Equius! This is supposed to be in pieces! You can put it back together again like this- see? It's fun!''
No, it's really not. Catnip was creative, though, he's got to hand her that. She actually made it hold up.
Maybe it was the slime sticking to her paws.
''Oh… Yes, highly entertaining.''
No way he's actually buying it.
''Nepeta, could you stop playing with Gamzee's stuff!? We'll be here until sundown if you keep unboxing everything!''
That's highly likely. Maybe he should call it a day and c atch some z's? No way he's sticking around for sundown.
''It's all good, Karbro. She's just having a motherfucking blast.''
Kurloz nearly groaned when he saw Gamzee walking over to Catnip. He'd love to blast it with Gamzee 'till sundown but then the other's have to leave and they'd get nowhere with all these motherfucking unboxed items.
''Yeah KK, chill.''
No, don't encourage it.
''It's heavy and I broke a nail. I don't want to do this anymore.''
Yeah. It's definitely time to give up and go. For Kurloz, at least. He moved up from his position and slowly made his way back inside, still catching the impending bitch fight.
''What smells fishy and useless?''
''What!? I'm not useless! I bet I can lift more boxes than you!''
''It's on.''
Well, at least they're finally getting somewhere.
So yeah frick boxes. Notice my lame Fast and Furious remark that didn't go as I planned but ended up staying in anyway because it could. I could've had that joke include the dead actor, since I really am a horrible being and that was a perfect joke, but it's too soon and too harsh. Well I'm off to catch some z's myself, ya'll have a great day~