Daisy and Onslow began to plan their book one pleasantly rainy day in February. With a good supply of hot cocoa and bacon butties at hand, the first thing they conferred over was the 'working title', per Onslow's insistence. He couldn't write a book if there was no title first.
"It's going to feature a woman whose attempts at impressing social circles fail miserably, so it has to have a relevant title," Daisy said, tapping a pen against a sheet of paper. They were sitting at a large desk in the tidy yet still homey living room.
"Hmm, what about False Impressions of the Social Wannabe?" Onslow mused after he had started on a second bacon butty.
"Hmm, maybe," Daisy said slowly. She stared at the blank sheet of paper, as if hoping the perfect title would magically appear.
"It'll only be a working title," Onslow said sensibly.
"It is somewhat catchy," Daisy replied. "We'll try it, for now. The important thing is to start on the story itself."
Daisy had one of her diaries on the desk; picking it up, she read more of her accounts about Hyacinth's soirees and what had come of them. She laughed especially at the time that Hyacinth's 'riverside picnic with riparian entertainments' had gone wrong. Oh, poor Hyacinth—it had gone so wrong, and she'd ended up looking like a drowned dog—but it really had been hilarious.
"What I've heard," Daisy said, "is to write a character profile first—what your main protagonist looks like, how she acts, how she talks—"
"Oh, we already know how Hyacinth talks," Onslow groaned.
"Yes, but we'll have to tweak things j-uust a little, to keep it from being too obvious. And what should she look like?"
"What should who look like?" Onslow said, puzzled.
"Um, our main character, of course," Daisy answered.
Onslow frowned. "I think, to avoid confusion, this 'main character' needs a name. What about…Lily?"
"A flower name? Too obvious," Daisy said. She mused for a moment, and then snapped her fingers. "What about 'Florence' for a first name? Aesthetically a bit 'grand' for our lovely protagonist."
Onslow approved of 'Florence', and then began to puzzle over a last name for Florence. It had to be something that Florence would want to 'polish', just as Hyacinth insisted that her married name was 'Bou-quet' (accent on the first syllable). At last he took a swig of cocoa and then said to Daisy:
"What about Fontaine?"
Daisy started to shake her head. "It sounds a bit too classy. Hy—I mean, Florence, couldn't complain about that."
"She could," Onslow said. Imitating Hyacinth's voice surprisingly well, he went on, "'It's not Fontaine, it's Fon-TAINE Accent on the second syllable, nice and airy.'"
Daisy gave Onslow an approving look and smiled. There; they had a working title and their main character. Daisy left it to Onslow to write out a character profile while she cooked up another pot of cocoa. Writing a novel was hard work. So much thinking! But they were quite enjoying it. Would it be good enough to be published? As she heated the milk for the cocoa, Daisy fantasized about the book being on the London Observer's bestseller list. False Impressions of the Social Wannabe by Daisy and Onslow Taylor! And then they would be signing books all over England…
A splatter of scalding milk hit Daisy's hand, and she looked guiltily into the pot. She'd almost cooked the milk too long; it was getting a skin on the top. She stirred it again, and luckily it was still smooth. She mixed in the cocoa powder, cursing herself for doing one thing in her mind and another with her hands.
"Have you got it down all right, Onslow?" Daisy asked, bringing two steaming mugs into the living room.
"Just finished," Onslow said, and Daisy read the character profile:
Florence Fontaine
Appearance: Florence has perfectly coiffed hair that is a dark blonde fading slightly to gray. She is of average build. Her personality is pretentious and lofty (though she is kind at heart), though it may be due only to her unceasing desire to be socially prominent. She goes to great lengths to impress people (mainly 'important' people) and organizes grand social affairs—only to have them fall flat, often with embarrassment on her part. She also has a habit of bragging—often about her Royal Danish flatware "with an elegant hand-etched handles", or her daughter, Dorothy, who is "doing so well at a prominent university."
Daisy grinned. "Perfect!" she said in approval, but a moment later, she looked up and stared at Onslow. "We can't have a story without supporting characters! We'll have to base them off of people Hyacinth knows—including ourselves!"
"Definitely, Dais'! One of the characters should be devastatingly handsome, cheerful and with a magnetic personality…"
Daisy giggled. "I do think we should include the vicar in this story. Oh, poor thing, he's probably the most affected by Hyacinth, with the exception of Elizabeth, of course."
Onslow stared at Daisy with an expression of disbelief. "I meant myself! I was just being humorous!"
"Oh…" Daisy faltered, blushing. "I didn't mean…it's nothing against you, Onslow. You'll always be the only man in my life. But the vicar does look rather fine."
"Oh, never mind, Dais'," Onslow muttered, but he did laugh good-naturedly. "I know, I'm bone idle, work shy and out of condition. But we'll tweak things a little—the novel version of me will be a bit wealthier, and unmarried."
For the next half hour, Daisy wrote a character profile for the 'real' Onslow's alter-ego, Ryan Pearce, while Onslow himself went to the nearest pub to bring back an early supper of fish and chips and beer. When he came back with the food, Daisy set it out on a nearby table and demanded that her husband read 'Ryan Pearce's' profile at once. An expectant, amused grin tugged at the corners of her mouth as he read it.
Ryan Pierce
Ryan Pearce is Florence's cousin. Though he appears oafish to some, a lifetime of dedicated work establishing the most successful and ritzy hotel in England, the Rivergate, has given him quite a comfortable life—and social prominence. However, Florence only uses his name in passing when trying to impress people. If people knew that her cousin lived in a very 'common' middle-class neighborhood and made friends with the socially less fortunate—and dressed less than casually! Ryan has thick, medium blonde hair and is somewhat plump, but quite dashing.
Onslow nearly choked laughing when he finished the last sentence.
"That's splendid, Dais'! Brilliant! Now, I'll write a character profile based on you!"
Daisy smiled. "I can't wait to read it!"
Holly Bailey
Holly Bailey is Florence's second-oldest sister. A casual but respectable person, she is actually well-liked by the 'important' people that Florence wants to impress. This makes Florence somewhat jealous and she tends to keep Holly 'under wraps' from those who don't know the two sisters yet—hoping that someone will like her better than Holly. Florence is actually deeply attached to her sister, but her attempts at rising socially occasionally clouds her relationship. Holly has dark blond hair, like her older sister, but has grayed prematurely.
"Hey!" Daisy protested playfully, "Hyacinth dyes her hair, that's why it's always brown. I'm more…natural."
Onslow smiled. "Ah, I think you look fine. Now, let's eat and start on the story again tomorrow."
Another chapter for my loyal fans. I hope y'all enjoy it. I'm having so much fun writing this story.