Chapter 4: She's Gone Mad, Hasn't She
So basically, if anyone was getting kind of confused about the sudden changes in emotions and all that, I think where this story is taking me has a lot to do with the mental/emotional/psychological struggles Kagome faces, along with her feelings for Inu of course, and all that. It sounds kind of boring but it also invites different genres to play a role, especially in where I'm taking Kagome's next sudden personality change! It should be fun writing this.
(Kagome's POV)
Inuyasha and I were in Kaede's hut. He had sat down on one side, and I sat down on the other. I was nervous to be around him because that's when I feel the most vulnerable to the darkness. But, the silence in the room was terrifying.
"How's Miroku?" I asked, breaking the head crushing silence.
"He's fine now. Naraku really hit him hard into that tree. Keh, his back was black and blue." Inuyasha answered, "Still is bruised, but he's moving fine."
He leaned his back against the wall, shutting his eyes as if ready to sleep.
"Why don't you just lay down if you're tired?" I asked, barely capable of hiding my attitude.
"Keh, I'll sleep how I want." He mumbled, "You just lay down and sleep. Kaede should return soon anyways."
"Lay down. Why is it so hard for you to just be comfortable, hanyou!" I wasn't even aware of what I was saying until after I said it. Of course, it sounded like I was picking fights with Inuyasha.
"What are you yappin' about?" He retorted, "Can't you just sleep without an argument?"
"This isn't an argument! Just lay down if you're going to sleep!" I shouted. Oh boy...what am I doing?
He stood up, "MAYBE I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP! MAYBE I'M THINKING! AND IF I AM TIRED, IT AIN'T NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS HOW I SLEEP!"
Wow, this stupid dog can't even give you the manners he would give to Kikyo.
Huh? "Don't yell at me, stupid dog!" The words seethed angrily through my teeth, almost like a growl.
He sat back down and crossed his arms, "This ain't Kagome I'm talking to, is it."
Haha! Now he is mocking you for standing up for yourself. I don't blame him. It wasn't until now that you required a real backbone.
"THIS IS KAGOME! KA-GO-ME!" I yelled back, "BUT I GUESS YOU COULDN'T PICK UP ON THAT! TOO BUSY THINKING, RIGHT? I BET KOUGA WOULDN'T DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT!" Whoops...before I can even process what I say, I come out and say something else bad just to hurt him. He didn't even do anything this time.
"I-I'm sorry..." I mumbled quickly before he could respond.
"Keh...if you want to be with that mangy wolf, be my guest." He looked away from me and closed his eyes.
It would make it a lot easier to sneak off to see Kikyo if you left, wouldn't it.
No...that's not what he's saying...I won't yell at him anymore...Stop it...
"Where's Sango?" I asked quietly.
"Off with Miroku to collect herbs for when Kaede gets back." He answered, "Never know what she'll need for you."
"I-I'm sorry for yelling..." I apologized.
"I know you are." He smirked, "Now go to sleep. Rest will do ya good."
Weak bitch. Of course you apologize.
-Later-
Kaede returned with a less than satisfying way to rid me of this anger and hate.
"The red gas cannot be healed by herbs or any medicine. You have to heal yourself, Kagome." She began, "Ye have the powers to do so, but ye must remember to control your temper. Hateful actions only encourage more thoughts that encourage more hateful actions. If you can refuse a bad feeling from controlling you, you make it easier to keep rejecting the darkness."
I sighed. Great. I've done a terrible job already.
"But everyone else will have to help you, by being careful not to offend thee." She continued, "Eventually, your natural pureness will push out the hatred. And you will return to your original mental state."
"Heard that, Inuyasha?" I turned to him, "That means stop being an ass." This was going to be a lot harder than Kaede thinks.
"Keh, whatever." He mumbled.
"That also means watching your tongue, Kagome." Kaede eyed me, "It will be hard, but I know ye can do it."
Can I? I don't feel pure. I feel upset with myself.
You are most definitely going to let that hag down, aren't you?
Sigh...She's right...I am. How can I stop myself when I've never really had practice? Yeah, I've resisted the urge to say how I was feeling before, but I've never wanted to say such terrible things so bad.
"We'll be more considerate." Miroku said, turning to Inuyasha, "And we'll keep her safe."
"Her powers, though."Sango added, "Should she refrain from using them?"
Kaede thought for a while before answering, "Yes. It could very well be opening new ways for the darkness to influence her."
"What!?" I was shocked, "But what if I need to use them!" I had just acquired these new abilities, and I felt strong.
"Kagome, I can't force you to not use them. I can only trust that you'll be smart about this." Kaede responded.
Ha! Have fun being useless.
I got up, and left the hut.
Kaede's a bitch, isn't she. It pisses you off. She expects you do all that when she doesn't even know what it's like for you? should curse her. Kill her. Inconsiderate whore.
She's just looking out for me, right? She's being a little harsh to help me, right?
Some help.
I walked deep into the forest.
"Kagome, where are you going?" Inuyasha called out, not taking long to catch up to me.
"I don't know. Just taking a walk." I sighed.
I think now is a good time to remember how he abandoned you.
No. No it's not. He apologized anyways.
"I'm sorry Kagome for saying I'd protect you but forgot to remind you that your importance drops when Kikyo shows up."
Ugh! "Why are you following me!?" I shouted.
"What? Just wanted to make sure you didn't wander off and get hurt." He tried his best to not get an attitude.
"Yeah, well, leave me alone." I kept walking, "I'll be just fine without you!"
No. No no. He's really trying to make it up to you. Watch your mouth.
"Okay...if that's what you want..." You could actually hear the struggle he had with watching his tone.
"No. I'm sorry. You can stay." I forced a smile at him.
"Huh? Well, okay." He walked behind me. We didn't say much, but I had to admit, I did feel good about ending the fight before it started. Maybe I could fight this poison.
Hahahahaha! Don't make me laugh, bitch!
Or maybe not...
"Hey, Kagome..." He sounded serious, "Tell me...what usually makes you happy."
Huh? "Well...I don't know. I like being here. I like it when we're all together and we're laughing, telling stories and playing games!" I smiled, remembering the first time we played charades. He tried acting as Shippo, but we all swore he was just being himself, acting like a little kid. I laughed and he ended up swearing he'd never play again, but then asked the following night if we were up for a game.
"Hmm...then come back, and we'll do something." He grabbed my hand.
My cheeks turned bright pink. But I couldn't fight back a laugh. He was doing this for me! I felt so happy!
"Okay!" I hugged him before we walked back.
I didn't hear the voice for the rest of the walk either, which was refreshing.
"Inuyasha...thank you! I'm so happy! We haven't all sat together and just had fun in so long!" I giggled like a little girl.
"Keh, don't get too excited. You're going to lose whatever game we play, anyways." He mumbled.
I laughed, "Don't be so sure doggy boy, you're going down!"
He grinned, "Is this a challenge?"
I nodded my head, "Yup!"
"Well then, I'm just gonna have to put all my energy into defeating you." He was always so competitive.
I just then realized that Inuyasha could bring out the worst in me, but he could also bring out the best, and with his help, I might actually be able to fight off the darkness! I mean, right now, for the first time since Naraku poisoned me, I felt completely okay!
Not for long, bitch...
Maybe this is a testament to how insane I've become, but I laughed at the voice inside my head. This is a battle that I don't want to lose!
Okay, okay, okay!
I liked writing this chapter!
A lot.
So comment and all that, and tell me how you think it's coming along!
And thanks to everyone who have been keeping up!