Mrs. Bowie was a bigger surprise than I expected. I know I'm overprotective of the kids but it scares me of how strong and rough Mrs. Bowie was. She was as big as Austin and she was crushing my shoulders when she licked my face. Plus, she and David Bowie were fooling around in Trish's pool earlier. Ugh!

"Okay, guys," I said. "Let's get the dog in the car."

"One of y'all has to sit in the back with Mrs. Bowie," said Austin.

"I'll do it," said Leighton.

During the drive back to our house, Leighton was stuck in the back with Mrs. Bowie's tail wacking her in the face. By the time we got home, Leighton was begging Jase to switch seats with her.

We got the dog out and led her into the house. Krishna asked, "Daddy, Mommy, can Mrs. Bowie sleep in my room?"

"Sure, baby, but she has to sleep on the floor," said Austin.

Krishna opened her door and led Mrs. Bowie in. The kids went to their rooms and fell asleep. Austin and I walked into our room. He was watching Rocky while I was changing into my pajamas.

"I'm scared of Mrs. Bowie," I brought it up.

"She's a dog, love," he said.

"And do you see how big she is? She's almost as big as Jase and he's five foot seven."

"Alls, calm down. You never had a dog?"

"I did. When I was five, I had a pug named Ruby. Rosie once tried to put her in the microwave. She died by choking on a bandage."

"What's the difference with Mrs. Bowie?"

"She's strong, she's huge, and right now she is asleep in Krishna's room. Right now she might be eating our baby."

"Baby, it's alright. Just go to sleep."

Austin turned off the TV and I crawled into bed. I laid my head on his chest and he kisses my forehead.

"I love you," I moaned.

"I love you too," he replied.

My eyes closed for the moment. Now it felt like a thousand years of darkness blinding me. In our family, we have so-called flaws. Austin snores in his sleep, Jase will occasionally snore like once or twice a week, and Leighton used to sleepwalk when she was younger. It was scary when we find her walking around the house fully asleep. When she was eight, Austin had forgotten about not to wake her up and was later pushed down the stairs by the sleeping Leighton.

As I zoomed through a vision of darkness, I felt my feet uncontrollably twitch. Suddenly, a heavy object was crushing my body. Too heavy. I couldn't even more my legs. My eyes fluttered up at the ceiling of my bedroom.

My hand reached out for the nightstand. I flicked the light switch on and took a look at the alarm clock. 2:28 AM?

I look back at my bed and let out a scream. I thought I was in bed with a burglar, but it turns out to be Mrs. Bowie. Austin woke up to my screaming.

"What's the matter with you?" moaned Austin.

"The dog!" I gasped. "What is she doing in our bed?"

The door opened and it was Leighton and Jase.

"Mother, why are you screaming?" moaned Leighton.

"Why is Mrs. Bowie in our bed?" I asked. "I thought she was in Krishna's bedroom."

"She was," explained Jase. "After an an hour, Mrs. B came into my room. The next thing I knew, she wanted to get out and go to your room."

"Mrs. Bowie is taking up all the space," I whined.

"Babe, come on," said Austin. "Just let her."

"Fine. Go back to bed."

Jase and Leighton went back to their rooms. I turned off our lights and closed my eyes.

Our bed wasn't small nor big, but it certainly wasn't big enough for Austin, Mrs. Bowie, and me. Mrs. Bowie laid right in between Austin and me.

I carefully laid on my stomach. Finally, I was comfortable in this position. However, Mrs. Bowie started nudging me with her body. I scooted over a bit for her, but she kept nudging me.

No matter how much I scooted over, she kept pushing me over. When I scooted over one last time, my body tumbled off the bed and hit the floor.

My hands carefully pushed me up as I quietly groaned in pain. Once I got up, I looked at my bed. Austin was snoring asleep and Mrs. Bowie was in my spot on the bed.

"Fine," I whispered.

I angrily snatched a pillow and stomped down the stairs. Since Austin was in bed with Mrs. B and I didn't want to wake the kids, I decided to sleep on the couch.

This couch has been here for six years and I've never notice how hard and uncomfortable it was. I felt like I was lying on a rock or a bed of needles. This was killing me.

Next morning, I awoken to the kids walking down the stairs.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" asked Leighton.

I got up and straightened my neck. "Mrs. Bowie kicked me off the bed and your dad was just laying there snoring louder than a Kodiak bear."

"The entire city of Miami are sleepless when Daddy starts sleeping," chuckled Krishna.

"I'll started making breakfast," I said. "Y'all want cereal?"

"Yeah," they all said.

"Mom, remember which one we like," asked Leighton.

"Fruit Loops for Krish, Frosted Flakes for Jase, and Special K blueberry for Leighton." I said.

"Ally, you don't like Mrs. Bowie, do you?" asked Jase.

"Of course. She doesn't like me. I could tell."

"Mom, she's a dog," Leighton reminded me.

"And she hates me. Mrs. Bowie loves y'all but something about me makes her hate me."

Austin walks in with Mrs. Bowie next to him. What a surprise. Since we received Mrs. Bowie, he's been attached to her like gum on a shoe.

"Morning," he said. He gave Krishna and Leighton a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't I get a kiss, Daddy," laughed Jase, making dumb kissy faces.

"Sure, Jasey." smirked Austin. He gave his son a big kiss on the forehead and a small slap on the forehead. "How was that?"

"Painful and unloving. Now I know why you're a cop."

"Babe, how come you weren't in bed last night," Austin asked me.

"Mrs. Bowie kicked me out," I explained. "And what were you doing? Laying there asleep."

"Alls, calm down. Mrs. Bowie loves you. Mrs. B, do you love Ally?"

Mrs. Bowie then barked.

"What? Ally—"

Mrs. Bowie barked again.

"Hold on, Dad." interrupted Jase. "Ally."

Mrs. Bowie barked again.

"Ally."

Once again she barked after hearing my name.

"Ally, Ally, Ally."

That's no fair. She barked three times. Austin and the kids burst out laughing.

"Immature," I said while they continued to laugh. "Come on, kids. Let's get ready for school."

Austin left for work and I dropped the kids off for school. Mrs. Bowie was left alone in our house which I didn't like at all.

I arrived at work in a green button up shirt, brown tanktop, jeans, and brown boots. Rosie was strumming a bass guitar in a grey Bob Marley t-shirt. Does it surprise anybody that she's 39 years-old and she still dresses like a teenager?

"Morning, Ally-CDC." She joked.

"Morning, Guns & Roses." I moaned. "Rose, how was David Bowie?"

"He's such a sweetheart. David slept in Gavin's room all night. He didn't bother any of us and is well-trained and loves anyone easily."

"Mrs. Bowie hates me."

"She hates y'all?"

"No, only me. Just me."

"What happened?"

"Last night, she kicked me out of our bed and took my spot. I had to sleep on the couch. Also, she barks every time she hears my name."

"Ally, Mrs. Bowie has to love you."

"Well I try to get along with her but she won't get along with me."

"It's easy to get along with people. Just do something with them that they like."

"Chew on my shoes, sniff peoples ass, and scratch every part of my body."

"Okay, you have a lot in common with dogs. Girl, you just nasty!"

"And you can text with your fingers, toes, and I don't know how but tongue too."

"You just have to get along with her."

After work, I returned home with the kids. Austin got home early as well. I walked into our bedroom to find my shoes on the floor chewed up.

I picked up my high heels and growled, "Mrs. Bowie."

I stomped into the bathroom where Austin was showering. Then, I yanked the shower curtain open.

"Whoa," said Austin. "If we're gonna have shower sex, at least clean the loofahs."

"Austin, Mrs. Bowie chewed on my shoes. My favorite pair."

"Hon, if you don't want her to chew on your shoes, then don't leave them out."

"Excuse me. They were in my closet. You think I'm making this up?"

"No, I believe you. I believe, you believe, she believe, he believe, then we all believe, moderfockers!"

"Don't make up a quote that Mr. Chow from the Hangover trilogy would say. By the way, where is the dog?"

Next to Austin in the showere peeking her head out in the shower curtain was Mrs. Bowie.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him.

"The only time I shower with another Mrs." He laughed.

"I swear I'm with a child."

"Then, that makes you a child molester." He laughed again.