Boo! Hey guys :D So, I found this chapter sooo much easier to write, seeing as there wasn't too much subtle hinting and more doing. Although, you'll have to be careful. There's a number of time jumps in this chapter. I've put diary entires between, so hopefully you'll be right :) This chapter and the next two are big ones, and I'll admit that I've been dying to write the end of this chapter. It's been in my head for months! I know that the whole story has been stupidly slow until now, but it speeds up heaps in the next few, with some crucial plot points being unveiled and some big stuff happening. So whatever happens, make sure you don't miss them! I hope that this chapter starts to make up for the overall slowness of the story, and I don't blame you for not giving me heaps of reviews last chapter. It was a bit of a filler :/ But thank you very much to those who've reviewed, and who posed questions regarding the story. I hope I have/will answer your questions properly :)
Sasusaku loyalist, JessiNinja, Chantrea Moonbeam, yattsy, Alipiaoca, my-threesome, river of the sand, anEpicBanana, just me (again), Super Galactic Monkey Ninja, red-rose.019
Replies:
Sasusaku loyalist: You are correct. That is one of the ways that people would react. But, when saying that, you are only speaking of one reaction, and every single person suffers and reacts differently to a situation. Psychologically, she could tell him, but in this story I have made it so that she is far too afraid - of Orochimaru - to do so. And with the sex; not necessarily. Some people would be afraid of him after, but as he is her 'safety', she finds comfort in it. I hope that that explains things :) P.s. most t.v. shows that focus on psychology are exaggerated and shallow. They take the reactions that the audience wants, not what would be most realistic a lot of the time. Not always, but generally.
just me (again): Hey love :D Fanfiction was stuffing up for a while there, but it's been good these past few days :) And to all of your questions... you'll see ;) And I love you too ^_^
Super Galactic Monkey Ninja: Six word reply: I hope you like this update :D Seven word reply: I look forward to seeing your creativity :D
Dedication: My best friend. It was her eighteenth yesterday :) Happy Birthday love!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto :/
I'll Never Say
.:{*}:.
Proposal
July 20th
Dearest diary,
Naruto has been making plans for us to escape this wretched place, and when I can garner the courage, I help him. Usually it's just being able to sneak him non-perishable supplies and clothing, for Sasuke watches me like a hawk.
He hasn't stopped watching me since Orochimaru's attack.
He doesn't know what has happened – I refuse to tell him. I know it is silly, I don't know why I don't just say it, but that wretched, evil, abhorrent man has his malice in a vice about my soul, and without any agreement on my part, I do his bidding. Why does he torment me so? I should be stronger than this! Why can't I escape the fear that he has ensnared me with?
Orochimaru sat idly in the wooden chair, his slumped posture belying his alert state.
He was waiting.
The wooden door at the far end of the empty room opened, and a sliver of light fell onto the floor.
"My lord?" a humble voice spoke, followed by a lithe body as the man crept into the darkened room.
"Kabuto," Orochimaru hissed, tasting the name and savouring it like a cherished delicacy. "You've kept me waiting."
"Not intentionally, my lord." Kabuto bowed, his full-moon glasses glinting in the sparse light. "Is your task completed?"
Orochimaru smirked, and let out a sinister huff of amusement. "She will obey," he said simply. "When the time comes, she will obey."
July 23rd
Dearest diary,
Today is Sasuke's birthday, and I did my best to be happy for him. A ball was held, just like Itachi's, and miraculously Gaara stayed away from the both of us. I do believe that, had Gaara made a move, Sasuke wouldn't have hesitated to order his instant decapitation, seeing as it is his birthday and he is arguably allowed a little more leeway with his decisions.
Sasuke has become increasingly sweeter with each passing day, and I can't help but smile at his clumsy attempts at courtesy. They make him – dare I say it? Adorable. I'm touched that he tries so.
It leaves me at a great indecision. Thoughts of Neji barely cross my mind anymore, and whenever they do, they are no longer suffused with a childish infatuation, but more a bittersweet happiness that we could share our time like we did.
My only worry now is Gaara, and what I will do if he proposes before Naruto and I can make our escape. Members of the Sunagakure Council are expected to arrive sometime during the week to convince Itachi Sama. I no longer know what to think of the situation.
The Council members fidgeted nervously under Gaara's harsh gaze.
"My lord Gaara, you must forgive me or saying this," a wizened man said in aged tones, "but you have not been officially named as successor to the Sunagakure throne. Presumption and fact are very different. What if it is your brother who should take it? Or someone else whom your Council feels is more suited to the task? You are very young, after all."
Gaara slammed a furious fist onto the table, and the echo silenced all who sat in the room.
"My father has told me in confidence that I am to succeed him," he all but snarled to the men and women before him. "It has been announced privately, but not publicly. What is the difference?"
"The difference is, is that your word is not enough, Gaara San," said another member of the council, and Gaara turned malevolent eyes upon the Councils newest member. "And should you not become Kazekage, then we will have given away valuable information for nought."
Gaara eyed the man coldly, before speaking directly at him. "You forget, Sentoki, the speculations circling around concerning my sister and your Otokage. If their relationship progresses to a more… intimate level, then you shall have you alliance anyway." A pause, which could have been measured in aeons, rather than seconds. "Furthermore, my Council shall be arriving soon. They will be able to confirm my statements."
The Council remained silent.
August 2nd
Dearest diary,
I still have not had any contact with Karin, and so have not been able to return her letter. Curiosity itches at me, and sometimes I have to force myself to not read it; it is none of my business.
But bitterness is a horrible thing, and all I can think of is the words of those two servants talking – bragging – about how she would be my replacement. It makes me want to cast aside the rules of etiquette and read that damned letter! What has become of me?
"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!" Karin screamed, flinging pillows and clothing aside like a tempest in her haste. "Where is that damned letter!"
It had been missing for nigh on a month now, and Karin had barely had the chance to skim its contents before she was ushered away. What if it had been lost? What if it had been picked up? What if someone else had read it?
The prospect was nauseating. The contents of that letter… If they were revealed… Karin could say good bye to her head if anyone found it.
Even worse, the last time she remembered being in possession of it was around Sakura. If that little minx had gotten her hands on it… The red-head shuddered to think. Her best hope was that she'd dropped it, and it had been left to the mercy of the elements.
The idea that someone else had their hands on it was terrifying. That someone could hold her life – so carelessly – in their hands, and one slip of overly zealous curiosity would see the red head dead. It left her feeling nauseous.
August 9th
Dearest diary,
Tenten came to visit me today, and the whole castle is abuzz with news of Itachi and… Temari? I'm sure that that's her name. Anyway, rumours are circling like vultures about how the two are always seen together, talking in whispered tones and smiling at each other. A few of the maids swear that they've seen the two of them kiss, which is absolutely delightful! I remember seeing them all those months ago when Gaara and his party first arrived, talking to each other, so engrossed in their own little conversation it was as if there was no one else. I feel so happy for them; I hope that the rumours of marriage are true.
Tenten seemed more reserved today, as if she was keeping something from me. When I inquired about it, she merely laughed nervously and changed the topic. Now I am truly suspicious. What is Tenten hiding?
The brunette sat in the kitchen, head in her hands. She dearly wished that a hole would gape in the floor beneath her feet and swallow her whole immediately! Anything would be better than hearing the whispered words that were being transpired before her. Luckily, the two people talking hadn't seen her, else she'd probably be fleeing the room for her life.
"Kabuto, I have to find that letter! Do you have any idea what was written in it?"
Tenten would be able to discern Karin's voice from a hoard of screeching fan girls.
"I received a copy as well. Of course I know what was in it! You'd better hope that nobody has picked it up, else the whole castle – and indeed, possibly the kingdom – would be after all of us. It has everything in it, Karin! Everything!" Kabuto added for emphasis. "Are you sure you've searched everywhere?"
"Of course I'm sure," Karin hissed back. "And what's worse is that that little pinkette might have it. Kabuto, she could destroy us if she were to read it!"
An exasperated sigh left Kabuto's mouth. "Find that damn letter, Karin. Not just your life relies on it."
Tenten heard footsteps, then the kitchen door opening and closing as Kabuto left the room. Karin waited for a few more minutes, anxious words leaving her lips, before she too, exited. Only once she was alone did Tenten allow herself to relax, and she let out a long breath of air.
"I am truly sick of all these petty schemes," she muttered to herself.
August 15th
Dearest diary,
I stayed with Sasuke all day today, and no, we didn't have sex. Not even once! In fact, my monthly cycle has just begun again, so I don't think that either of us were willing to risk a blood bath for pleasure. But nevertheless, it felt so odd, just lying on his bed and talking to him about nothing. Occasionally he'd stroke my cheek or kiss my forehead, or he'd hold me in his arms as if I was the most precious thing in the world to him. My confusion is only outweighed by the tender bit of affection that has been growing for him since June. He has his moments where I just want to strangle him for being so egotistical and pig headed! But then there are those rare few occasions where he lets his guard down, and I don't want to be with anyone else in those moments. We discussed Itachi's ever-growing attachment to Temari, and what he thought of it.
He approves. In fact, I think that he is happy for Itachi. Temari is certainly a fine woman – level headed and smart and undeniably beautiful. She would be good for Otogakure, I believe.
It was deep in the night, and the stars were being drowned by the moons opalescent glow. It streamed through the open windows and danced upon the furniture, shrouding the two figures on the bed in shadow.
One was fast asleep, and her breast rose and fell in a sombre, slow rhythm as she drowned beneath layers of dream. Her face was barely visible, buried in the man's chest as she curled into his side, one hand lightly curled next to her cheek and the other hanging loose beneath his neck.
The man watched her, his eyes tender as he gazed upon her sleeping form, his arms wound around her in a loose but possessive hold. He was tired, sure, but she would never allow him to watch her like this whilst she was awake, and he would never allow himself to look so vulnerable in front of anyone, not even her.
Sakura. She filled his head, but he didn't dislike it. Quite the contrary, really. She filled his head with thoughts and images which made him have to exert a considerable amount of effort and will to not go looking for her and embrace her. The idea of losing her was a physical ache within him, but he knew that eventually he would have to let her go. If he didn't give her to Gaara, then his council would kill her, and he had no choice in the matter. For the time being, he would take what he could, and hopefully that would last him once he couldn't have her anymore.
August 21st
Dearest diary,
September 14th grows closer with every passing day. I am so nervous! Thoughts, worries, plague me day and night. What if we should be caught just before we can escape? What would happen to Naruto? He would be put to death, surely! I feel horrible for risking him like that, but he knows the risks as well, and he is willing to take them.
I am overcome with excitement as well. Barely a month left until I can see Lady Hinata! I cannot wait to speak to her again. Is she well? Is she safe? Has she been alright during her months of exile? Has Neji been keeping her safe? So many questions that I've been dying to know the answer to.
But why is it that whenever I think of leaving, before the joy of seeing Hinata falls in, and happiness at going home… why is it that I see Sasuke's face, and I feel sad?
Naruto stood by the dip in the wall, contemplating the best way to climb over. It was far too high to jump over (standing at around six and a half feet), and Sakura probably wouldn't be able to climb over.
Kami, how annoying it was to think! Surely gravity could just… stop working for around half a minute whilst he and Sakura floated over the wall. Or maybe the wall could just… magically disappear so that they could run through it. It would make everything far simpler if nature would just cooperate with him!
Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Of course nature wouldn't cooperate. Nature seemed to be against him at every turn. Why wouldn't it want to screw up his one big chance to get something right for a change?
Then, an idea crashed into his skull, leaving Naruto in a stupefied stare for a good few minutes before letting out a whoop of joy.
Rope.
He would climb over first, lower a length of rope down and haul Sakura up with it. Easy. Now as to how he was going to sneak a horse out of the city without alerting anyone…
Kami, how annoying it was to think!
.:{*}:.
August 29th
.:{}:.
It was mid-morning when Sakura opened her eyes. Sasuke's chest greeted her gaze, but instead of cringing, she shuffled closer to his warmth. Sasuke had taken full advantage of her non-bloodied state that night, and had lain with her a full four times. She was tired and her body ached, but it was the good kind of ache. Sighing, and knowing that Sasuke wouldn't rise for a fair while, she disentangled herself from him and went roaming for something to wear.
Eventually, she found an emerald tunic, and after pairing it with black, knee-length pants, she went to the door to go brave the kitchen to find something for breakfast.
"Where are you going?" Sasuke's hoarse voice drifted over to her, and Sakura stopped dead in her tracks.
"I'm hungry," she said, and turned to face him. "Surely it isn't a crime to go to the kitchens for a small piece of food now, is it?"
He grunted and rolled over in the bed. "My servants will bring something later. Come back to bed."
The roseate took a deep, calming breath. "Unlike you, I do not wish to spend the rest of my days lazing about. I'll go find something to eat, and bring it back, okay?"
Her fear of Orochimaru hadn't waned at all, but with her tumultuous fear came a need to prove to herself that she was beyond it. Who was he to control her life? No one. And she wouldn't let herself be ruled by her terror.
Slowly, she stepped from the room, and after cautiously scoping out both ends of the hallway, she scampered in the direction which she knew led to the kitchens.
Servants bustled through the corridors in the morning light, some not even sparing her a glance and the others shooting her such venomous looks it took all she had to not throw something at them. How dare they judge her so harshly? It was hardly like she was here for the sites!
Once she finally found the kitchens, Lady Luck must have been on her side, for Tenten was standing at the doorway returning a tray laden with half consumed food balanced precariously in her arms. Sakura entered with the girl after relieving her of some of her burdens, and helped her to wash them.
"Tenten San," she eventually inquired, to which Tenten looked at her nervously. "Could I get something to eat, please?"
Tenten was taken aback for a moment, before nodding. "Of course, Sakura. But uh… what are you doing here?"
Sakura blinked at her, before giving a small, knowing smile. "I guess it's taboo to be seen with me, huh?"
Tenten didn't reply, but the glares that the roseate was receiving were answer enough. "How about you just point out where I can get the food, and I'll make it myself, alright?"
As offended as Sakura was, she couldn't really blame the brunette. A lot of hatred was being directed towards the two of them, and it was understandable that Tenten didn't want people spreading rumours about her too. Especially ones that could lose her her job.
Tenten shot her a grateful smile, before gesturing behind her. "The food supplies are back there. Feel free to get whatever you want," she said, and started to walk off.
"So, the slut is hungry, is she?" Both Sakura and Tenten turned towards the new voice, one which Sakura vaguely recognised. "I'm surprised she hasn't ordered you to make everything for her, Tenten. Lazy bitch probably doesn't even know how to cut an apple properly."
The words stung, but Sakura was sick to death of crying like a spoiled child all the time. She fixed a light smile on her face, and replied with, "Pray tell, why would you presume such a thing?"
The girl snorted and stood to stride over to Sakura. "Only the fact that the only bit of energy you exude is used to fuck our Prince.
Sakura raised a brow and folded her arms in front of her breast. "And how exactly have you come to be the expert on me and my life, exactly?"
"You're Konoha's whore! I don't need to know anything else," the girl spat, and Sakura finally recognised her voice. It was Emi, the girl who had bad mouthed her along with the other woman over a month ago. The two had started to draw a crowd, and malicious eyes watched Sakura's every move, waiting for the first sign of weakness. Although her heart was palpitating, Sakura kept her face friendly and her eyes steely.
"Tell me, Emi -" gasps were emitted from the crowd at the knowledge that Sakura knew her name "- have you ever watched your friends be slaughtered?"
Emi shook her head.
"Have you watched your father be murdered?"
She shook her head again.
"Have you had to give your virginity to the man whose only purpose is to kill your best friend? Have you been beaten because you gave said man your virginity? Have you been stolen from your home? Faced the promise of death by torture, and been tortured for a crime you didn't commit?"
Again, she shook her head, her face turning wan.
Sakura's features lost the friendly countenance, and suddenly turned livid. "Then before you do, don't you dare judge me, or presume things when you don't know the first thing about me. My soul desire is to go home, and I would sooner give my arm than stay here another minute."
Food forgotten, she stormed from the kitchen as fast as she could, but not before hearing Tenten say, "She's ten times the woman you could ever be, Emi." And despite her anger, she was able to smile, grateful for Tenten's friendship.
She considered going back to Sasuke's room and falling back asleep, but realising the bombardment of queries she would receive, demanding she give an explanation for why she's so mad and where the food is, she turned in the direction of the gardens instead, seeking peace and solitude.
The Council was seated, Itachi at the head, Gaara at the opposite end. Both males were silent as the grave and staring at each other in a silent battle of wills. A hazy murmur rose from the mouths of the council as they discussed, at length, the decision that had to be made.
At last, Itachi broke eye contact, and spoke in a strong voice, loud enough to carry across the room.
"Has a decision been made?" he asked, and the chatter ceased immediately.
"Your highness," croaked one, and a decrepit crone rose from her seat. "The Council has weighed the decision as best they can, and we have come to a decision."
Gaara leaned forward in his chair, his gaze now fixated upon the wizened old woman.
"We have decided that, in light of the circumstances, an alliance between Sunagakure and Otogakure would be preferable compared to receiving information from the prisoner. However, as Lord Gaara's position has not been publicly announced, if an alliance is not made, we are to take the girl back, and extract information from her by any means necessary. This is our final word." She resumed her seat, and a solemn silence fell over the people.
A triumphant grin tugged at the corners of Gaara's mouth.
"Gaara San, with you, me and our Councils as witness, this agreement has been made. I suggest you go and find Sakura, and make sure that she agrees as well.
Gaara nodded and stood. "I thank all of you. If you'll excuse me." He left the room.
The pond glittered in the mid-morning light, and Sakura sat at its edge, ignoring the bench situated a few feet from her. The koi fish swam in lazy circles, nipping at her fingers as she dipped them beneath the surface, enveloping them in cool, tranquil water.
Sasuke was probably already awake and looking for her, wondering where she had gotten to. She hadn't returned with breakfast, and if he was to go to the kitchens, she wouldn't be there either. But quite honestly, she just needed to be alone at that moment. Sasuke's continuous watching of her was driving her absolutely insane! And as touched as she was that he worried so much about her, there was only so much she could take of it before she started to rebel.
The pond had become her safety. The place she could escape to when the castle – or Sasuke – became too much for her to handle. Its calm waters with the soft ripples and the koi fish swimming in lazy circles calmed her nerves and allowed her to see the wider picture. She was able to reflect on things that had happened, or things that were going to happen.
What was bothering her at that moment was the escape that her and Naruto were about to embark upon. During the few occasions that she could escape to the gardens, they would discuss it at length – think about anything that could possibly go wrong. Obviously, their biggest worry was that they would be caught before they could get far enough away from the palace, and would be dragged back. Kami, she feared so much for Naruto. If she were caught, then either Sasuke or Gaara would probably exert everything within their capabilities to lessen her punishment – at least, for a while. With Naruto, he would immediately be executed. But as Naruto said:
'The more you concentrate on the bad stuff, the bigger chance it has of happening, Sakura Chan!'
Sakura smiled as his voice drifted through her memories. Trust Naruto to be stupidly optimistic. She doubted he even knew of the words 'give up.' That just wasn't Naruto. It wasn't in his nature to give up.
Sasuke cracked an eye open, and creased his brow in confusion.
Sakura still hadn't returned.
According to the position of the sun's rays, it was nearing midday, and the roseate hadn't deigned to poke her head through the door, nor had she even thought to bring him back any food.
He sighed in aggravation, before rolling out of the bed and going to find some clothes. That girl was going to be the death of him, he just knew it. He donned a pair of loose pants and a light shirt, then stepped from the room.
Then, he stopped.
The Council's meeting was taking place that day. Sakura hadn't known it, as Sasuke hadn't thought to tell her, but he had been completely aware of it. And chances were, they would vote for the affirmative – Gaara would have Sakura.
With a renewed sense of determination, he headed towards the kitchens, intent upon finding the girl before the Council reached its decision.
Gaara found her sitting by the pond, and he smiled at her serene image. Just a few more moments, and she would be his.
"Sakura," he called softly, and she looked up and turned to him upon hearing his voice.
"Hello," she greeted, but stayed sitting. An annoyed frown marred his features for a moment, before being wiped away faster than she could see.
"I had a meeting with the Council this morning. It's only just adjourned."
She nodded, not really paying attention to what he was saying. 'No matter,' he thought to himself. She'd care soon enough.
"Aren't you curious as to what we were discussing?"
The girl shrugged in response. "If you wish to tell me, then I'm perfectly happy to listen."
Gaara smiled triumphantly, and sat down beside her.
Maids and guards bowed low as he passed, but he paid them no heed. Where was that girl! He hadn't met her in any of the hallways, and the only conclusion he could come to was that she was still in the kitchen. But why would she still be there?
He turned one last corner, only to stumble upon a swarm of activity. Orders were being barked above the clamour, and servants were undulating in a sea of busy bodies. What was going on?
"Sasuke Sama!" One voice squealed, and Sasuke prepared himself for the onslaught.
"Sasuke Sama!
"Sasuke Sama!"
"Sasuke Sama!"
"Sasuke Sama!"
The female populous of servants bowed very deeply, all flushing a brilliant shade of vermillion. Sasuke sighed, and ran an agitated hand through his raven locks. Pathetic attempts at flirting was really not what he wanted at that moment.
"Sasuke Sama, what brings you to this part of the castle?" A busty red headed girl stepped forward daringly, and ran a teasing finger up his arm.
"Sakura," he grunted, and a dark look passed over the girls face.
"I do not know where she could be, your highness," she said, and started to disappear back into the throng.
"Wait!" he called out to her, and she immediately turned, an almost hopeful look lighting her features.
"Yes sire?" she flashed him an alluring smile, and sauntered back over to him. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Sasuke shot her a dark look, warning her to keep her hands to herself, before posing his question. "Why is everybody rushing?"
The girl lit up, a happiness instantly pulling her lips up into a wide grin. "Oh! Haven't you heard? The Council has agreed that Gaara Sama may marry Sakura San. We are to prepare a lunch for them, before they head back to Suna."
His exterior was calm and collected, but inside he was a writhing mass of fear.
He had to find Sakura.
"Do you remember how, at Itachi's birthday, I said that I would be willing to ally Sunagakure with Otogakure for you hand in marriage?"
Sakura turned curious viridian orbs on him. "Of course. You've barely spoken of anything else, Gaara San."
He smiled at her. "Indeed, I haven't. Only my desire for your hand has kept me here all these months."
The roseate shifted, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going. "What exactly are you trying to say, Gaara San?"
He chuckled softly and stood, offering his hand for the girl to take. She accepted, and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, before being led over to the bench where they both sat down.
"This morning," Gaara began, "Otogakure's Council and Sunagakure's Council finally came to a decision regarding the marriage and the alliance." He paused to study her reaction, but she gave nothing away. "And they have decided that, in exchange for your hand in marriage, Otogakure and Sunagakure will form an alliance."
Shock splayed itself upon her features, and her mouth parted to form a tiny 'oh'.
There was only one place Sasuke could think of that Sakura would go to, and that was the gardens. And so, that is where he stood. He looked about, his movements almost frantic.
Where is she!
Voices. He could hear voices. Well, a voice, but it was something to go on. He quickly ran in the direction that it drifted from, panting hard, praying that it wasn't too late.
The sight that befell him was one he wasn't prepared for.
The roseate could do nothing but stare as Gaara slowly lowered himself to one knee, and reached for her hands. She flinched as he took a hold of her left one, and tried desperately to pull it back, but he wouldn't let go.
"Haruno Sakura," he said. "You stole my heart from the moment I first laid eyes on you, and now I ask that you give me your heart in return."
Footsteps. Footsteps were racing towards them. Sakura turned towards the cacophony, and her eyes clashed with Sasuke's horrified black gaze.
"Will you marry me?"
Cliffhanger O_O So yes. I'm back with my stupid cliffhangers. What will she do? What will she say? Only next update will tell ;) And hey, guys, I've gotten a facebook account for fanfiction, and I post up previews and approximate updating dates and stuff, so if any of you want to be kept in the 'loop', so to speak, then you're perfectly welcome to add me. Just please tell me that you found me through fanfiction, okay?
Alrighties, so believe it or not, reviews actually do get me to update quicker. Just look at my other multi-chaptered fic as proof :) And any bit of feedback you leave (flames excluded) is always welcome :) My half yearlies are coming up in the next few weeks, so I'll be going stupid with study, so if any of you want a quicker update, you'll have to do your part too, alright? Teamwork, guys! ^_^
And please don't favourite without leaving at least one review. I'd really love to hear from you :)
Much love, SapphireRivulet xox