Waking slowly from the drug induced haze; I could faintly see the light outside of my dorm was gone, replaced with a curtain of darkened shadows. Glancing to my alarm clock which sat proudly upon my bare bedside table I noticed that it was 8:00pm which was affirmed by the loud bustling and shouting outside of my dorm room in the long halls as other novices were rushing to and from their rooms to get ready for classes. I was surprised that I slept through a majority of that noise but judging by the fact that I had my first full night's sleep in god knows how long – those sleeping pills sure held the strength.
My appointment with Dr Olendzki was at 10 which meant that I was unable to attend any of the morning classes (which I didn't really have any queries with considering they involved math, science and English) but I only hoped the tests which she would administer upon me would be quick and easy so I could go to my afternoon classes. I hated to admit it but I truly did miss training with the other novices and more than anything my training sessions with Dimitri which I hadn't attended for almost two weeks now. He probably thought all of the extra studying would do me well when it came to the finals but it was a miracle I could add and subtract the basic two digit numbers considering I hadn't opened a textbook since I returned back to the academy with Lissa (which was quite a while back).
After downing the prescribed medication which the doctor had given me, I quickly grabbed a tee and some black skinnies before heading to the shower. The hot water felt glorious on my aching muscles (a minor side effect of the cancer) and I could slowly feel the tension leave my body as I momentarily forgot that I was dying. It was still weird to think that I am dying and that it would be a miracle for me to live to my 19th birthday – I hadn't quite grasped the concept of my situation but I knew that as soon as my mother arrived tomorrow, things would begin to set in. I was shocked out my thoughts as the water began to stream ice cold rivulets down my back which caused me to jump at the sudden cold.
After heading back to my dorm I noticed that it was 9:30pm which meant if I walked at a strolling pace to the infirmary I would be there on time… for once. Grabbing a thick winter jacket, as I tend to get cold easier these days, I set out into the softly falling snow. It looked amazing through the filter of human night light as the snow danced with the reflection from the moon's glow and trees slowly dripped mounds of snow in a continuous rhythm.
"Rose!" I snapped my head up as the familiar velvet voice carried over the snowy fields. Glancing behind me I saw Dimitri jogging at a slow pace towards me with his famous cowboy duster flying out behind him. He sure was a sight for sore eyes, no pun intended, and the look of relief which he showed freely encouraged me to close the gap between us.
"Rose, I haven't seen you for weeks, how is the studying going?" Dimitri purred in his thick Russian accent which had me practically melting on the spot.
"Not bad but Kirova is drowning me mathematical slang – I mean, what the hell is the Pythagoras theorem? Every time I hear it all I think of is a freshly baked pie!" I joked as I quickly changed curse to make it seem as though I am heading towards one of the rarely used classrooms which, for all intents and purposes, I will be 'studying' in. I didn't need Dimitri to worry if he saw me heading to the clinic and it would just make the situation a whole lot more stressful.
"Roza, I sure do hope that those who sit down to mark your finals have a good sense of humour, for your sake." He smiled one of his rare grins which only ever surfaced when I was around before he checked his watch almost as an afterthought. His grin quickly disappeared to be replaced with one of weary impatience before turning to me once again.
"I must go, Roza. Good luck with your studying and try not to cause too much grief for the headmistress." He smiled as began to quickly stride away in the thickening snow. Before I lost sight of him I cupped my mouth to increase the volume before yelling back,
"I won't Comrade – I save all of that just for you."
Pushing through the heavy infirmary doors I ran to the staff bathroom where I threw up the contents of my stomach (which was nothing) and once again more blood. I vaguely felt a pair of smooth hands hold back my hair and a soothing voice repeat comforting phrases to me as I continued to vomit.
"Thank you." I muttered, wiping the mess from my chin which Dr Olendzki just smiled at.
"I had hoped you would be on time today, Rose. I guess I should have assumed you would be late as usual." She smiled down at me which I just sighed at as I struggled to push myself up.
"I was trying to be on time – really. I just got distracted and took a bit of a detour…" I rambled off as I sat up on the hospital bed. Grabbing a small pen light, Dr Olendzki checked my vital signs, as she does every time before stopping to look me straight in the eyes.
"Rose, you are determined to take part in this field experience… aren't you?" She asked me in a knowing fashion as she had probably already guessed my answer. I nodded slowly as I hung my head as I remembered our conversation from yesterday.
"Well, I was doing some research last night and, now realise I haven't spoken to Alberta or the Headmistress about this yet, but I think if we monitored your participation and if you check in with me every afternoon – then I think we may be able to make this work in your favour… more or less…" She finished as I jumped from the bed in excitement. I grinned to her which she politely smiled back at before I hugged her tightly around the waist.
"Really? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." I shouted in exploration, sounding like some twelvie but I couldn't really care less. I had gotten my way and I would graduate!
"Can I pick up my training sessions again then?" I asked with a glimmer of hope which she took into consideration for a number of long minutes. I could feel beads of sweat begin to pile up on the back of my neck as my excitement began to damper at the possibility of not achieving the training sessions.
"I will speak to Guardian Belikov and Alberta and make sure they keep it to the basics so as not to over exert yourself."
"Wait no!" I stopped as I registered what she had just said. "Dimitri can't now about this! Only you, Alberta and Kirova can know – not even Lissa. If they know then that will just complicate things even further." I finished as the doctor took on a cryptic expression.
"But surely they are bound to find out eventually. Rose, you do realise that, I hate to tell you this, but lung cancer is kind of hard to hide – especially from those who see you every day." She spoke as she took on the role of the voice of reason but I hadn't ever cared for reason. I did know that it was hard to hide – from the almost daily visits to the hospital – outside of the academy, to the oxygen bottle which I would have to cart around with me – but the longer I can put of telling them, the better.
"I know – but please, just give me this time before it becomes too obvious to try and at least pretend that I'm normal – that I don't have a disease inside of me which is going to slowly kill me?" I begged as the doctor stood before me with a cautious look upon her face.
"Very well, Rose. I guess doctor-patient confidentiality overrules what I believe." She sighed before turning to the tray of various needles with various colourful liquids inside of them which she began to inject into me – one by one.
"So, can I go to training this afternoon then?" I asked hopefully as she administered the final needle which left me slightly lightheaded. She sighed as she threw the used needle away and turned back to me with a clear plastic bandage which would cover the needle wound.
"I don't think that would be a very good idea, Rose. I mean, I can tell by just looking at you that you are exhausted and queasy – correct?" She asked for my confirmation which I only answered by grabbing the nearest metal dish I could find and emptying my stomach into it.
"That's what I thought. You should take it easy for the rest of the day and I will speak to Alberta and the Headmistress on your behalf, ok?" She commanded in a motherly fashion before sending me on my way. As I walked through the thick metal doors I noticed that it was lunch and there were people milling everywhere on their way to either the cafeteria or the feeders.
"Hey Rose." I heard Lissa before I saw her jump out of the misty weather before me and grabbing me in a vice-like hug. We hadn't seen each other for a few days and I could feel through the bond that she was in a questioning mood which I became extremely nervous about.
"Hey Liss," I replied as I began to walk with her to the cafeteria where I noticed Eddie and Christian were already waiting for us. "What have you been up to?" I asked her in a timid voice as I took a seat between Lissa and Eddie.
"Nothing much, Adrian has been trying to get me to teach him to heal more but I told him he had to teach me to dream walk first." She finished as she grinned like a small child at her ultimatum.
"Yeah and unfortunately he can't seem to get sober enough to do it lately." Christian commented as he pulled Lissa closer to his side with his arm wrapped firmly around her waist.
"Hey! I'm sober now… well, sober enough…" Adrian exclaimed in a mock hurt kind of fashion before turning to me. "Speaking of which, Little Dhampir, your aura just seems to continue to surprise me…" He trailed off as his eyes roamed down my body in what I was hoping was more of a 'what is wrong' kind of way as opposed to 'damn, you're looking fine today' way.
"So where have you been, Little Dhampir?" Adrian asked as he took a long sip from a small coffee travel mug which I secretly assumed was spiked with liquor.
"You know, just around the campus. Kirova has me doing extra studying with her because according to her my grades need to be picked up if I plan to graduate…" I trailed off as I fed them all the same story which I had given Dimitri beforehand. They all seemed to hold suspicion in their gazes as they scrutinised my explanation within their minds however they all seemed to accept it for the truth apart from Lissa and Christian who continued to scrutinise the story. Of course! Trust the bloody Spirit users to be the suspicious ones!
Averting my gaze, I turned my attention to the small cafeteria line where I could see a freshly baked pile of doughnuts on display along with various other sweet treats. Feeling my stomach do a quick flip and turn I began to take deep breathes through my nose to calm my upset stomach.
"Anyway, I was thinking of starting up a little team of Moroi who want to learn how to use their elements in a defensive way, just like aunt-"
"Umm, it was great seeing you guys but I really have to get back, Kirova will be wondering where I am…" I interrupted Christian, which I received a death glare from Fireboy for as I excused myself from the table. Once outside of the cafeteria, I ran for the nearest bush which I quickly vomited into. A stream of blood came from my mouth to stain the pure white blanket of snow behind the thick bush and the rich copper scent flooded my brain. I became even more woozy as I continued to vomit streams of blood. My surroundings began to blur together and I could feel myself quickly falling to the side, towards the cold blanket of snow which was stained with my blood. And just like that – I collapsed in the snowy field behind the cafeteria.