Haven, Maine
December 19th

If there was one thing that Duke Crocker wanted to do with his day, it was to spend it not wearing any pants while he lounged on the old ship he called his home. This was actually a real possibility for the course of his day. Duke's bar was in good hands now that he'd decided to keep on the manager Nathan had found to run the place in his absence - if a person being trapped in a ominously magical barn with a nasty perchance for winking out of existence could be properly called "an absence"- he found himself eager to indulge in the simpler things in life, like forgetting your worries to the extent of not bothering to get dressed for a whole day.

He was pretty sure that Audrey's therapist, Claire, would have thought he was in denial about being depressed, or worse, but she'd been murdered by a shape-shifting horror before the barn sucked them up so he didn't have to hear about it.

And what did he have to be depressed about, anyway? The barn had only kept them hostage a few weeks, not the 27 years everyone had worried about back when they'd assumed it'd only be taking Audrey, so it wasn't as though they'd returned only to literally find that life had passed them by. At least it had been Audrey he'd been trapped with all that time.

If someone had told him five years ago that a modern day pirate like him would someday not have been unhappy trapped anywhere with a cop, even an attractive blonde one, he would've laughed in the teller's face. And if the person had gone on to tell him that his being okay with it would be after he discovered his family's legacy was to end their troubles by murdering the afflicted, he would've hauled them to the e.r. on the assumption that the person was dangerously high or suffering alcohol poisoning. But that's how it turned out.

There could even be said to be an upside to the ordeal: their time alone led to her allowing herself to acknowledge, and act upon, her attraction to him too. So he'd finally gotten what he wanted. Sort of.

Of course, they weren't marooned long enough for her to forget that she cared deeply for Nathan too, though.

A lot of women dated two men at once, right?

It wasn't so bad. At least that's what he told himself on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. (it was a Thursday).

Since it wasn't a day he could allow himself to pretend that Audrey's heart was his alone, and it was eight in the morning besides, he didn't really expect for anyone to noisily board his boat when they did.

Maybe it's a Mormon, he thought as he stood and stretched before running a hand through his still longish raven hair, pretty bold of them to jump onto the deck, but they're getting braver lately. His was probably a choice soul to try to stage of rescue of, his past being what it was, after all.

Duke glanced at his dresser, thinking of putting on the pants he'd accidentally shut in one of the drawers, before he went up deck but decided against it: if it was a religious pest, maybe a lack of pants would help to keep the visit short.

He wasn't all the way out of his quarters before he realized his visitors were the blonde he'd come to love, and Nathan. "What?" he asked flatly. If Nathan was in tow, Audrey hadn't dropped by for cuddles.

"Good morning to you too," she said just as sourly.

Giving Nathan a sardonic look, he just asked, "To what do I owe the displeasure of your company at this time of day?"

"Told you he'd be grumpy," Nathan said to her, ignoring him.

Or at least he ignored him until Duke retorted, "Come on, Nate. It's not like I believe you dropped by because you finally talked Audrey into a thre-"

It surprised no one, least of all Duke, that he got punched before finishing the thought.

He shrugged. It wasn't as though he was really eager to see Nathan starkers for a second time in their lives - the first had been after an unfortunate incident when Nathan's father had busted them skinny dipping with girls when they were still young and sort of friends.

Sighing, he gave the pair expectant looks. No doubt they'd decided to drop by and force him to lend assistance while they dealt with someone who has some sort of crazy supernatural power that they couldn't control. He hoped it be something simple, like someone accidentally manifesting puppies, rather than accidentally liquefying people's bones with their minds. Neither of those things had happened yet, and he thought it the latter was unfortunately slightly more likely.

Glaring at him while he rubbed the sore spot on his chest, Audrey asked, "Have you ever spent much time around elephants?"

"Do you have to ask something like that in front of him?" Duke pitched his voice low. "That's sort of a personal question, you know."

"I don't even want to know what you mean by that," Nathan said, obviously disgusted.

"I told you he has no imagination, Audrey. You're going to be so bored dating him too."

"Bite me." Duke ducked away when Nathan looked ready to hit him again.

"Elephants," Audrey said again like she was speaking to slow children. "The kind with gray skin and trunks. Not whatever the hell you meant."

He hadn't really meant anything, but had just been unable to resist trying to get Nathan's goat by implying he was provincial in comparison. Nathan's father had done a much better job guilting Nathan into staying in Maine than Duke's had, though he had honored his father's wishes that he come back if troubled people started appearing in town and upping the body count again. Duke had managed to travel the world before returning to take up his obligation, and Nathan hadn't.

"Ok, yes. I spent some time around elephants in my travels." He actually had a pretty good story about elephants and the one time he'd gone on a safari, but neither of Haven's finest looked like they were in the mood for it.

"Told you." Audrey punched Nathan, making him wince, and reminding Duke that Nathan could feel her touch. Hers alone. Since their escape from the barn, he'd spent a lot of time trying to think of a way to temporarily kill Nathan so he could take his trouble away for good. Maybe if Nathan wasn't troubled and could feel everyone, he'd realize he and Audrey had no chemistry, and she wasn't his destiny.

Of course, he could permanently kill him and eliminate him as competition that way too, but Audrey would be mad, mope, and still manage to expect him to redouble his efforts to be helpful to the town. No, it was better to let Mr. Law and Order live than be unwillingly deputized.

"What are you thinking about?" Audrey asked suspiciously.

"I'm wondering why you and Nathan discussed my experience with elephants," he improvised knowing that being honest about his fantasies about killing her other boyfriend wouldn't end well for him.

"Show him," Nathan demanded.

Audrey obligingly pulled out her phone, but Duke held up a hand. "You really didn't need to come out here to show me a YouTube video. I would've made time tomorrow night," he added to needle Nathan.

"It's not YouTube," the other man grumbled. "Watch."

Duke took the phone with a sigh and watched. The setting was vaguely familiar and he wondered if it was some patch of woods he'd drank in during his largely misspent youth. No matter where it was, it currently had a large angry animal rampaging in it. It tore two small trees out of the ground as he watched.

Once the video ended, he handed the phone back. "Fascinating. This has what to do with me?" he asked, politely, he thought.

"Put some pants on," Nathan said, his disgusted look back.

"Uh uh. I'm happy without them."

"You'll freeze your butt off," Audrey told him. "And I feel that would be... unfortunate," she added, tone targeted to appeal to his baser nature.

He wasn't falling for that. "It is one of my better features, but it will stay toasty, right here. I'm not in the mood to go tripping into the woods."

"Duke."

"No. Isn't this a job for animal control, anyway?"

"Oh yes, Maine animal control has loads of elephant experience," Nathan said snidely.

"More than me!" he automatically protested. "Or call that zoo down in York," he said after a beat. It'd been a while since he'd been there, but if they had a tiger, what were the odds that they didn't have an elephant sometime too?

"Did. They said it's not theirs and not their problem." Nathan picked up the pants and shook them menacingly. Duke backed away, shaking his head.

"Duke, please," Audrey said, giving him a look he could rarely resist.

"Fine," he growled, yanking the jeans out of Nathan's hands. Looking over at him, he said, "Under one condition. You have to promise to bleed on me if this thing ends up goring you with its tusks."

Nathan simply nodded.