By the time our small group entered the academy's grounds it was already getting dark which meant that the school grounds would soon be teaming with Moroi teens on their way to breakfast and morning classes. I had spent the last few hours hooked up to a number of machines with multiple wires and tubes dripping various liquids into my system. Dr Clara wasted no time in my cancer treatment after she left me with my mother as only 10 minutes later, her and five other doctors in paschal coloured scrubs bustled through the doors, wheeling large machines behind them. After having Dr Olendzki, my mother and Alberta hold me down so that they could insert the long thick needles into my flesh, it seemed the torture only prolonged.
"Now Miss Hathaway, this treatment will cause a large amount of discomfort and I am warning you now that it will cause you to cough up both blood and other hazardous chemicals which your body will try to expel." Dr Clara warned me before smiling timidly in my direction and once again leaving me with my mother, Alberta and Dr Olendzki. The whereabouts of Abe my father was still unknown but, quite honestly, the longer he is out of sight, the longer I can pretend that what happened in the car was simply my own delusional mind…
The acidic liquids which I threw up burned my throat and caused my breathing to get even worse which gave me reason to believe that the treatment was a bust… it just didn't work. However, after hitting the distress button on repeat, which I found above my hospital cot, Dr Clara only assured me that it was the strongest treatment currently available and was most definitely working perfectly.
"Rose…" My mother nudged my shoulder as we pulled into the academy carpark as the rest of our group exited the car. I felt my palms begin to sweat as I rubbed them across my jeans to remove the stickiness. It was weird in all honesty considering I was freezing my ass off in the snowy weather with two heavy snow jackets… yet my freaking palms were sweating! Adjusting the tube below my nose so that the two little nubs sat perfectly within my nostrils I breathed in deeply and grabbed the cart which held my first bottle of oxygen. I knew today would be the end of me. I knew that my life at the academy would officially be over and the longer I sat in the car – the longer I wished I could hijack it and take off so as to not face the day ahead of me.
"Rose honey… We have to go." My mother whispered encouragingly in my ear (probably thinking I misheard her the first time) which I slowly nodded at. Breathing in another deep breath from my oxygen bottle I slowly opened my door and froze instantly as the frozen air blew in my face. I could faintly see in the distance that a number of Moroi were milling around the campus on their way to breakfast and I cringed as my stomach growled loudly. No way in hell was I going to walk into the academy's cafeteria with a tube on my face and an oxygen tank wheeling around behind!
"Mum, I don't think I can do this…" I whispered to my mother in fear as she slowly and patiently sat behind me in the car. I could feel her warm hands on my arms as she attempted a motherly comforting gesture which I happily accepted – needing the comfort in that moment. I know our past has been extremely rocky and nearly non-existent but she still remained my mother and any comfort and confidence which I could draw from her in that very moment was more than welcome.
"You can do this honey… Alberta and Dr Olendzki will be waiting for us in the Headmistress' office and we will go on from there." My mother nudged me carefully out of the car and together we trudged through the freshly fallen snow. I could feel my nose and fingers going numb as we reached the small office after successfully avoiding all students and guardians where headmistress Kirova sat behind her heavy oak desk. I huffed as I pulled off my top jacket, shaking off the remnants of snow, and hung it up on the coat rack behind the door. However, what I did not expect to see as I shut the door behind me was the soft masculine face of my mentor, my instructor… my Dimitri.
He seemed to have a confused expression upon his face which I assumed was due to the fact that no one had actually informed him of what this little meeting was about, which only seemed to intensify as he took in the tube and oxygen tank. The concern within his eyes was enough to cause me to divert my gaze to the rest of the group as Kirova motioned for me to take the seat across from her. My mother once again nudged me forward and I reluctantly walked to the chair where I not-so-gracefully threw myself down. I glared up at Dr Olendzki and Alberta at the fact that Dimitri was present however, they both kept completely straight faces as I once again focused my attention back on Kirova.
"Miss Hathaway, I hope you enjoyed your day away from campus." Kirova began as she smiled (as warmly as Kirova could) at me which I simply scoffed at. She hoped I enjoyed my day? She might as well have said 'Hey, I hope you like dying of cancer and having painful treatment for hours at a time'!
Swallowing my rage I simply offered her a tight-lipped smile which only increased the tension within the room.
"As much as you can when you spend the entire day in a hospital being poked by needles…" I mumbled as I bit back a number of choice words which I craved to scream at her. In the corner of my eye I could see Dimitri straighten up as his posture became rigid at my casual mention of the hospital and treatment.
"Yes well… As I understand, Dr Clara has set up your next appointment for this Friday?" Kirova questioned as she scanned over a number of papers which Dr Olendzki handed over. I knew she wasn't really looking for an answer, she was just reading over the information aloud for herself and to keep me up to date. In all honesty I had hoped that I could avoid that blasted hospital for at least a little longer but either way I wouldn't be able to avoid it for the rest of my life…
"Miss Hathaway, I have also taken it upon myself to schedule a meeting between you and the academy's counsellor tomorrow afternoon instead of your usual gym class." The rage within me threatened to spill over as she spoke of the counsellor. I mean, it was bad enough that I am being removed from gym but now I have to see a bloody shrink?!
"No!" I stat simply as I stand abruptly from the small metallic chair which resulted in the tube slipping slightly from my nose to my chin as the oxygen tank got caught behind the chair leg. I struggled to pull the small cart which held the tank away from the chair leg so that I may readjust the breathing apparatus but it only seemed to get more stuck as I growled in frustration. The vibration in my chest hurt and I could feel the flood of pain travel up through my throat to end in scratchy coughs bubbling through my lips. I could feel my mother standing behind me rubbing my back soothingly as Dr Olendzki rushed to help me untangle the oxygen tank.
Sucking in a sharp breath I pushed the two women away from me in frustration as I kicked the damn chair away. I hate when people pity me and try to take care of me because as long as I am physically able to do so for myself then it will stay that way!
I heard a slight crack as the chair and tank skidded backward which left me with the tube below my nose empty as the oxygen erupted from the vacant hole in the top of the tank. A long silence filled the room before Dr Olendzki once again reached silently for the tank which she quickly popped the end of the tube into before lowering the pressure wheel to reduce the discomfort.
Clearing my throat I once again diverted my eyes to the headmistress who had stayed seated the entire time with a bored expression.
"No, I am not going to go and see some shrink about my little problem! I mean, it's bad enough that you have apparently decided that I am cut from gym class but I am not going to speak to some counsellor!" I huffed as I stood in anticipation of the trouble I would be in for the way I am speaking.
"Rose," I looked up startled at her casual use of my name, "your problem is hardly little and I am only doing what is best for you by removing from your physical training within the academy." She spoke quietly yet in a clearly authoritive tone.
The fact that I am no longer going to be training is just another sign of the fact that I am not going to graduate a guardian – Lissa's guardian and who knows? I mightn't even graduate at all.
I let my mind wander to thoughts of my death which resulted in the lining of my eyes taking on a watery sting. Clearing my throat I sighed quietly before looking up into the eyes of my mentor. He had the usual blank expression of a guardian but I could clearly see the watery film coating his eyes which held only fear.
"Does that include my lessons with Dim- Guardian Belikov?" Dimitri seemed shocked at the possibility of that even happening but he continued to keep the all too stony expression upon his face.
Kirova seemed to contemplate the idea for a few minutes which to me felt like an eternity before glancing between Dimitri and I and nodding her head once.
"Yes, I'm afraid so."