Unfortunately I still don't own twilight :(.
WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN
1. Tell him that Bella is marrying Jacob, ask him to be best man.
2. Call him 'Eddie'.
3. Ask him to help you do something and if he says no tell him that Jacob will help you instead then.
4. Replace all his clothes with 'Team Jacob' merchandise.
5. Make Bella wear a 'Team Jacob' t-shirt.
6. Make him read New Moon.
7. Emphasise Bella's pain when you read about when he left her.
8. Buy him fake tan.
9. Tell him he has dark circles under his eyes. Tell him to sleep more.
10. When he tells you he can't offer to lend him your concealer.
11. Make a list of reasons Jacob should be with Bella instead of him. Include; He's a real man he doesn't sparkle and that he's hotter than Edward.
12. Cover yourself with glitter and run around with a girly voice screaming 'I'M EDWARD AND I LOVE BELLA. OOO, LOOK I CAN SPARKLE!'
13. Remind him that most of his dates have ended in Bella almost getting killed.
14. Tell the Volturi he created an imortal child.
15. Tell him he has the worst vampire gift ever, tell him Jane's is the best.
16. Ask Jane to be bridesmaid at his wedding.
17. Buy her a dress nicer than Bella's.
18. Kill Bella.
19. Kill Renesmee.
20. Tell him Nessie joined the Volturi.
21. Tell him Bella wanted to date James.
22. Ask him whether he is 'That guy from Harry Potter'
23. Invite the entire wolf pack to his wedding.
24. Tell him that you can read Bella's mind and so can everyone else, is he stupid or something?
25. Constantly tell him that Jacob imprinted on Renesmee when she was still a baby.
26. DRIVE SLOWLY.
27. Smash his Volvo beyond repair.
28. Tell Charlie about how he watches Bella sleep.
29. Show him proof.
30. Laugh when Bella falls over.
A/N : Ways to Annoy Renesmee is the next chapter :). Thanks for reading!