Chapter 4

The next day was tense. Darcy didn't go to work, and even though Collins would be back today, he didn't bring up the issue of marriage. Georgie was happily oblivious to the whole problem, and I envied her. When I heard the sound of a wagon pulling up to the house, I tensed. Darcy unglued himself from his desk and went outside to talk to Collins. The longer they talked, the more I was seriously thinking about bolting out the back door and taking my chances with the woods. But then they were coming in through the door, and it was too late.

Darcy set Georgie up in the sitting room with her toys, and strict orders to stay there. Then Collins, Darcy, and I sat down at the kitchen table to "talk this through," or so Collins said.

An hour later, nothing had been resolved. Something about Collins brought out a contradictory nature in me, I felt the urge to argue everything he said. So every time he said "Marry Darcy," I said, "Not on your life." Darcy, for his part, kept silent most of the time and just listened to the two of us. Collins, listing off the apparent hundreds of reasons why we should get married. And me, adamantly refusing to agree to anything the man said.

Finally, Darcy intervened. "I think that this is a big decision that we shouldn't rush into. Thank you, Mr. Collins, for your input. But I think Lizzy and I can discuss it from here."

Mr. Collins seemed thrown by this abrupt dismissal, but at least had the good grace to not outwardly protest. Thankfully. We stiffly said goodbye and he left. Darcy and I stood there once again, facing each other. The silence grew more and more awkward, Darcy kept opening his mouth, about to say something, and then changing his mind. Eventually he gave up and stomped outside. I saw him grab the pig's slop bucket and felt the first relief all day, I wouldn't have to worry about that stupid hog.

It was noon by this time, and Georgie came into the kitchen and tried to crawl into her high chair. It was her way of telling me she wanted to eat. I shook myself out of the rage that was once again building, and lifted her into her high chair. After deciding that leftovers from last night's dinner would have to do for lunch, I started making a list in my head. Darcy thought that I was incompetent, I would change that. This house would be the cleanest it had ever been before.

Lunch was a silent affair, Darcy looking like he wanted to say something but deciding against it. Instead he just ate quickly, and then bolted out the door while mumbling something about going back to work and being home late. Fine by me, as long as he wasn't in the house.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning, it was almost relaxing. I even took a stab at Darcy's room. I crept in, then realized that there was no reason for me to be sneaky. Feeling silly I opened the door wide and started, it was surprisingly clean. There was a bed, desk, and wardrobe. As I looked around, I realized that there was a framed sketch on the desk. It was of a young, pretty woman. I stared at it, who was she to Darcy? For some reason I felt suddenly guilty for snooping and quickly swept, dusted, and left.

By mid-afternoon I was sick and tired of being cooped up in the house. Georgie had been yawning for a while so I put her down for a quick nap and went to sit outside in the backyard. The grass had a spring lushness about it, and was soft. I sat there for a while, but was still feeling cramped and slightly claustrophobic. I got up and started to walk toward the woods.

I have no idea how long I walked, but it felt amazing. I wandered deep into the woods, not really caring if I got lost. I let my mind and feet just wander, before I came upon a fallen log and took a seat. I had long lost sight of the house or yard, and the feeling of true freedom felt good. I could just take off if I wanted to, I suddenly realized. Just start walking and never look back, the idea was very tempting. But I forced myself to focus and weigh my options before I did anything hasty.

If I were to marry Darcy, I would lose my freedom. Be unable to just take off whenever I wanted to, if I wanted to. Then again, what good was just taking off? I would have no food, no money, and no roof over my head. I would have no idea where I would end up. As appealing as letting the winds take me wherever they blew sounded, I knew from experience that it was no picnic for a young, single woman. Marrying Darcy would ensure that I would have a secure home and future. And, I supposed, if I decided later that I didn't like it, I could just take off anyway. This thought startled me. My mother, for all her paranoia, was very morally upright and had taught me to be the same. And besides, if I married Darcy, what relation would that make me to Georgie? Her aunt, but in this situation, mother would be more like it. I would be Georgie's mother, of sorts. I had begun to adore Georgie, and she would be a great benefit of staying.

I mulled over these thoughts for quite some time, before I realized that the light was getting dim. Being caught in the woods at night was no fun, I knew this for fact. I hurried back the way I came, being careful to not go the wrong way. I could see why Darcy said it would be easy for him to track me through the woods, I had left a clear trail through the formerly untouched forest.

The sun was setting when I arrived back at the house, and I scowled at the early sunset. I hurried upstairs to find Georgie wide awake and playing with her doll. Thankful that the bars of her crib were still too high for her to crawl out of her crib, I picked her up and carried her downstairs. After eating a quick, simple dinner, we sat in the sitting room. I picked up the book that I had found when I had first come here, and resumed reading it.

True to his word, Darcy didn't arrive back until late that night. I heard his horse trotting in as I lay in bed. I had been thinking more about what Darcy had said about getting married. And even though I was loathe to admit it, the benefits did outweigh the unpleasantness of the idea.

I could hear Darcy climbing the stairs and go into his room. I thought again of the picture of the young woman in his room, he had said that Georgie was his niece, not his daughter. So who was the young woman? A relative? It would have to be a mystery for a later date I decided, I had too much else to worry about right now. I had a plan, I would agree to marry Darcy, but on my own conditions.

The next day I came downstairs to find Darcy already there. I took a deep breath and faced him.

"I have decided that I will agree to marry you, but on my own conditions." I said, trying to make my voice firm and decisive.

Darcy seemed taken-aback. "All right, what are they?" he asked.

"First off, there will be no wedding night. At all. I will sleep in my room, and you in yours. And that is where we will stay, always. No argument." This I was positive about, and had no problem keeping my voice steady. "I've thought a lot about what you said, and even though you did your best to insult me, you were right about some things, that it would secure my future. And I'll have to admit that even Collins had a point about propriety, and all that. And because of these reasons, I will agree to marry you. And this is my choice, not because of you or Collins trying to persuade me." I could feel my resolve and burst of bravery beginning to fade, I had to get this over with quickly. I looked at him, waiting for his answer.

"I will admit that I am not any happier about this than you are. But I am happy with your decision. Collins will be here again tomorrow, with his wife this time. I believe he is expecting to perform the ceremony then, and as much as I detest giving him the satisfaction of getting his own way..." he added.

I was shocked yet pleased that Darcy voiced exactly what I had been thinking of Collins. I was also slightly disturbed that we had the same opinion about something. I nodded though.

"All right then." Darcy didn't quite seem to know what to do now that I was being semi-cooperative. I just nodded, and then started making breakfast.

As an afterthought I asked, "Is there any laundry you want me to do today?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. My sheets and a few shirts," he replied, and started for the stairs. "I'll go get them."

"Oh, I can get them," I offered.

"No, I will go get them," he said shortly, "I would rather you didn't go into my room," and disappeared up the stairs.

Well whoops, I thought. But then, why doesn't he want me in his room?

Darcy went to work that day, so I had the house, and forest, to myself again. It was a relief every time he left. He was always so stern and critical, I honestly couldn't stand the man. I was more annoyed by him than afraid of him. The only good thing about him was that he did take care of Georgie. Georgie, that reminded me.

As guilty as I felt about it, I decided it was time for more snooping. I think I had the right to know the backstory of the man I was about to marry. I went up to his room, took a breath, and discovered that the door was locked. Well then, I would just try his desk.

I went downstairs only to realize that Georgie was not watching me. I put her in her highchair and some leftover breakfast in front of her, and hurried to his desk.

It was a disappointing search, I only found a lot of opened letters, paper, pen, and ink. Basically nothing at all. I felt incredibly silly all of a sudden, what was I looking for anyway? A diary telling his every secret?

I decided to stop pretending I was a detective and go do the laundry. It was hard, I pumped more water than I'd care to ever do again. And after scrubbing everything, I could barely feel my arms. Afterward, when I sitting at the kitchen table, I glared out the window at the sheets flapping in the lines. I'd sooner take a torch to them than wash them again. I had some time before I had to start dinner, and a walk sounded really nice. While I was scrubbing, Georgie had fallen asleep again, so I decided to just go while I could.

I didn't walk as far this time because it was closer to sunset, but the walk helped. My mind kept going back to me agreeing to marry Darcy the entire time I was scrubbing. Walking cleared my head, and gave my arms a break. It was getting dark again so I headed back. As I reached the clearing of the back yard, I realized that someone was standing at the edge of the woods. When I got closer, I saw that it was Darcy. Unsure of what to do, I walked out of the woods and faced him.

"I was just going for a walk, not running away," I said, before he could even open his mouth.

He just looked at me, and I tried not to cringe under his calculating stare. I then realized that he was standing exactly where I had gone into the woods, he really could track. I walked around him to go to the house, when he put his hand out to stop me.

"How often do you go on these walks?" He asked.

"Not often, only when I need to clear my head," I replied, hedging around the fact that I planned on going on these walks quite a lot from now on.

He didn't let go of my arm, and I waited for him to blow up the way any of my previous owners would have. But he didn't, instead he just let go. We stood there for a few moments.

"I am sorry about this whole marriage mess," he said. "I just wish that Collins would have kept his nose out of my business..." he broke off, and his fist clenched.

Then he smoothed his expression and let his hands fall to his sides. He looked out to the woods, and then suddenly back at me. "How many houses have you been an indentured servant for?" he asked.

"I've honestly lost count," I admitted. "I think that this is somewhere around the sixth or seventh."

He seemed surprised at that. "That must be hard."

I just stared into the woods, and didn't reply, but instead asked a question of my own.

"How long have you lived here?" I asked.

"About two and a half years, I lived in England before here. But, I suppose that the "land fever" caught me," he said with a half smile. "What about you? Have you always been in America?"

"As long as I can remember," I answered honestly.

Darcy looked around then. "I think we should head inside," he said, and I realized that the sun was almost completely set.

We walked back to the house, and the conversation appeared to be over. Once inside, we both went around and lit the lamps and candles. Neither of us was hungry or tired, and Georgie had had a nap so she certainly wasn't tired either. I took out the sewing kit and material again, there was enough there for a skirt. I worked until Georgie began to yawn again, so I just left everything on the kitchen table again and got Georgie ready for bed.

When I came back downstairs, Darcy came into the kitchen to talk to me.

"As I said before, Collins will be here tomorrow to perform the...ceremony," he reminded me.

I nodded. "I meant what I said this morning, about my condition for all of this," I reminded him.

"Yes. I want you to know that I agree wholeheartedly to that condition. I assure you, that is the last thing on my mind when I think of you," he hastened to assure me.

I was relieved to be sure, but I also found that I was slightly insulted. I quickly tossed the insulted feeling aside though. A man who would agree to leave me be, what a novelty.

By this time I was quite tired, the stitches I was sewing were blurring and I couldn't even thread the needle anymore. I gave up and put the project down and went up to bed. I had a big day ahead of me, I was getting married. I sat on my bed for several minutes, staring at the candle on the vanity, with those words running through my head like a chant. I am getting married. I shuddered, and then the day caught up with me and I suddenly couldn't keep my eyes open. I blew out the candle, and fell asleep with those horrible words racing through my mind.

Here's chapter 4! I'd like to thank my beta and best friend for all of her hard work and patience. :)