"Ancient Egypt!" The Doctor says, waving his arms fanatically at the scene around him. He and Amy are standing on the crowded steps of a giant square building. People stream in and out of it.
"Egypt is located in northeastern Africa. It has the Mediterranean Sea to the North, the Arabian Desert to the East, and the Sahara Desert to the Southwest. The earliest civilizations started in the Nile River Delta in Lower Egypt." He says, giving some background on the culture. Amy is shifting through her flash cards while wearing her giant sunglasses that cover half her face.
"Until 3100 B.C. Egypt was divided into Lower and Upper Egypt. In 3100 B.C. the Pharaoh Menes united them." Amy reads off a flash card. "Um Doctor?"
"Yes Pond?"
"When are we exactly?"
"Excellent question. We are in the Old Kingdom, which ran from 2669-2180 B.C. The Old Kingdom is the first distinguishable Egyptian culture. Now, shall we head into the temple?" The Doctor says pointing toward the building. He and Amy walk up the many steps to the entrance. Inside it is much quieter, with only the soft sound of chanting humming through the stone walls.
"The Egyptians are polytheistic which means-"
"They worship many gods." Amy finishes for him. He looks at her. "Sorry." She whispers. He points toward the walls again. "And these are hieroglyphics, which are a highly sophisticated form of writing developed around 4000 B.C. And hieroglyphics are-"
"A combination of phonetic symbols and pictograph…" Amy finishes again. She looks at him apologetically again. "Sorry…again."
"So, as I was saying-" The Doctor continues. Suddenly the sounds of running footsteps echo through the hallway. "Oh, will no one let me finish my-"
"Doctor, I'm sorry about interrupting you, but don't you think we should run now?" Amy says as the footsteps get closer.
"Very well." The Doctor says giving in. They begin to run back down the corridor. They are just about to reach the exit, when out of nowhere a line of guards appears. "Uh oh." The Doctor says, summing it up. One of the guards steps forward.
"We have orders to capture the Doctor, and any person or persons with him. Are you the Doctor?" He asks. The Doctor steps forward and smiles brilliantly.
"Yep. That's me. Last of the Time Lords, Protector of the Earth, yadayadayada…Nice to meet you." He says, holding out his hand for a shake. The leader of the guards stays where he is. The Doctor pulls back his hand awkwardly. "um, may I ask who exactly has order my, our capture?"
"Our great leader, Pharaoh Khufu." He says, saluting as if the pharaoh was staying in the room with them. Amy nudges the Doctor. "You didn't tell me you knew the pharaoh." She says. The Doctor leans in and whispers back. "I don't. At least not yet…" The guard interrupts their conversation.
"You will come." He says and turns away. "You heard the man. Come along Pond."
The guards escort them through the city until they arrive at the royal palace. The building is magnificently designed and the smaller houses around it only exaggerate it size. The Doctor actually looks overjoyed to be invited into such a prestigious building. Amy can't help but feel a little apprehensive.
They're led through the many hallways and such to the throne room. This is the largest of the rooms they've been in and it is extravagantly decorated. Gold statues line the walls and slaves stand at the ready with fans. In the center of it all is a fat man covered in golden bracelets and necklaces, sitting on a throne that looks too small for him. Amy tries hard not to laugh at this. The Doctor gently elbows her to stop, but she can see a small on his face.
"Pharaoh, we have captured this Doctor and this girl who was with him, as you ordered." The leader of the guards says, while kneeling on the floor. The Pharaoh begins to rise (with some difficulty) from his throne. Suddenly he grimaces and Amy is horrified to hear him fart. The slaves with the fans begin to fan the air violently. One of them looks as though he's about to pass out.
This only makes Amy want to laugh more, but she covers her mouth with her hands.
"Excuse me, I fear that my breakfast meal is not agreeing with me." He says, trying to ignore Amy. "Job well done capturing the Doctor though. And Doctor, I am the great Pharaoh Khufu, and you're probably wondering why I summoned you here-"
"Actually not really." The Doctor says, suddenly looking bored. But Amy knows he's secretly taking pleasure from interrupting the pharaoh.
"What? Not even a little?" The pharaoh asks.
"It's painfully obvious." The Doctor explains. "Clearly you are part of the Slitheen family. Your size and digestion problems gave it away."
"Well, I bet you don't know how I know about who you are." The pharaoh says.
"I would guess that when I last defeated the Slitheen they sent out a transmission either warning others of me, or pleading for help." The pharaoh looks furious for a moment, but then it passes.
"Alright. You have very keen inference powers, Doctor, but now that I have you captured there is no way you can stop my plans." Amy rolls her eyes, and the Doctor says to her. "Famous last words." She starts to laugh. This really angers the Slitheen.
"You won't be laughing when I'm done!" It's the Doctor turn to roll his eyes.
"Whatever you say, but what is it that you're exactly doing?" he asks. The Slitheen smiles as if he was waiting for the Doctor to ask.
"I became trapped here when my family and I were banished from our home planet. But now that I am pharaoh I will summon the rest of my family and we will unite. Then we will use our knowledge and the Egyptian army to take over the rest of the world. Once we are done taking over this planet we will build up our forces and continue to take over other planets. Then-"
"Sorry. I hate to interrupt," The Doctor says, happily, "but there's one small problem with you plan. If you're trapped here than that means your spaceship must have been badly damaged, to the point where there's no way you could have sent out a transmission that large that could reach all the other Slitheen." The Slitheen smiles at this though.
"Quite right, Doctor. But I've been building a radio tower that I will use to send out a signal to all my family."
"You don't think Egyptians are going to be a little scared of a foreign radio tower in the middle of their city?" Amy asks. The Slitheen laughs.
"I've disguised my radio tower as a pyramid!" The Doctor raises an eyebrow. Amy starts to laugh. "I told you the pyramids were built by aliens." She says.
"Laugh all you like, but I won't let you stop me Doctor. Guards!" The pharaoh calls. They reenter.
"Take our guests to see our greatest achievement ever!" He says. The guards take them by the arms.
"Hey, hey." The Doctor says, "Watch the bowtie." He straightens his bowtie and then let's them drag him and Amy out of the throne room.
A few minutes later the guards pull them into the main chamber in the heart of the pyramid. "The great Pharaoh has ordered you two buried alive."
"I don't like the sound of that." Amy says.
"Don't worry, it will be a slow painful death." The guard says as they seal them in.
"Who'd thought the pyramids were actually built by aliens?" The Doctor says. "And did you see the pharaoh's crown?"
"What?" Amy asks.
"Yeah. It was a double crown which is a symbol of the unity of Lower and Upper Egypt. You see, the-"
"Doctor, I don't think this is really the time to be worrying about teachings things. We need to focus on getting out of here." The Doctor laughs.
"Don't worry. That'll be easy…Afterall, they did seal us inside of their radio tower. If we dismantle that, then it'll be really easy to get out of here."
"Okay. So how do we dismantle it?" Amy asks.
"Well." The Doctor says, thinking out loud. He hops up onto a sarcophagus. "The control center is where we want to go, and that'll probably be in the center of the pyramid, so we're relatively close. The entrance is probably in this room, and wow, this sarcophagus is strangely breezy."
"What?" Amy asks.
"I said, it feels like a breeze is coming from this sarcophagus." Amy raises her eyebrow.
"I think we just found our secret entrance." The Doctor hops up and throws open the lid. Low and behold, the bottom is hollow and there are stairs leading down.
"They don't make secret entrances like they used to." The Doctor says jokingly. "Shall we?" He asks, motioning to the tunnel.
"Yes, we shall." Amy says and they walk down the tunnel.
"Wow, I'm starting to sense a pattern here." Amy says. They emerge in a modern looking room, with computers and fancy looking future stuff along the walls. The Doctor tsks.
"Not even guarded."
"So now?"
"Now, we pull random plugs." He begins, true to his word, to start pulling plugs and wires at random. A bunch of lights and alarms start going off.
"Doctor, I think you pulled the alarm." Amy says shielding her ears.
"It's too late. I've already activated the self-destruct." The Doctor says innocently. "We should probably go now." He says.
As they start running up the tunnel, Amy says to the Doctor, "Why do they always install self-destruct buttons?" The Doctor shrugs. "Not the slightest idea."
They arrive at the exit. "Doctor, it's sealed!" Amy yells at him, as the alarms get louder, suddenly the door blows open as guard start streaming in. "Nice timing." The Doctor says. They run through the door. A few minutes later they hear a loud boom, and the control room detonates. Suddenly Amy makes a revelation.
"Doctor, the pyramid will collapse!" She says. The Doctor waves his hand. Amy looks back at the pyramid, and braced herself for it to collapse. But it didn't.
"The control room was built so when it detonated, it imploded, not exploded. Standard Slitheen technology. The pyramid will be fine." Amy takes a moment to process this.
"So what about the Slitheen?" She asks. The Doctor thinks for a moment. Suddenly a guard runs by and the Doctor grabs him by the shoulders.
"Did you see that? The pharaoh must have done something to displease the Gods. He will get us all killed!" he yells in the guards face. The guard looks frightened and he runs off, but Amy can tell that he believes the Doctor.
"Lord Pharaoh Khufu will probably be assassinated or poisoned soon enough. He may even have to just make a run for it before those angry citizens get him."
"So what now?" Amy asks.
"Now? We finish our lesson." The Doctor turns to the audience. "The Old Kingdom declined around 2180 B.C., but would rise again in 2080 B.C. as the Middle Kingdom. Which we will learn about next unit!" The Doctor waves as he runs off into the city.
"Wait, Doctor. Where's the tardis?" Amy asks, and then runs off after him. "Doctor?!"