Still don't own twilight.

WAYS TO ANNOY ESME CULLEN

1. Tell her that her cooking sucks, Bella told you.

2. Tell her about all the pretty nurses who work at the hospital.

3. Break her dining table.

4. Tell her Emmett and Bella had another arm wrestle.

5. Tell her she's a bad mother.

6. Mispronounce her name.

7. Start a food fight.

8. When they next go hunting throw a HUGE house party, trash EVERYTHING. Break all of her favourite things.

9. Tell her Emmett did it.

10. Tell her Edward left the Cullen's to join the Volturi.

11. Convince her to change Bella, laugh when Edward goes crazy.

12. Follow her around playing creepy Vampire music all day.