The strange thing about words is that they can change everything but still be weightless.
They said things were going to get better. And they should have. They were newly married and had an unexpected child about to bless them in three months. They should be preparing to greet this little one with a balanced house. It's their first-born - technically their second - but their first child that they will get to physically raise.
But they fought. He didn't want to fight, not like this. He wanted to wrap her in his arms when he got home. He wanted to talk to her stomach and help coax his child into development. Seeing her was still the highlight of his day. Watching her fix her shirt while she stood at the murder board, her torso becoming too much for the shirt to hold while she reached to the top. These silent memories that he would have and remember.
But when he went to hug her, she shrugged him off. When he went to talk to his baby, she shooed him away. Instead of crying with him, she cried alone. They were together, and they lived together, but their emotional lives were unraveling.
"Castle, I can't go, but I need you to pick up this elderly witness and make sure he doesn't hurt himself getting to the precinct. I still can't go interview him at his house because of some rule that Gates told me."
Her trust is in the words and he knows that. They were nowhere near separation. As far as he knew, that was never going to be in the cards. They could fix themselves - they have before. At work, their partnership developed into one mentality. More than it already had before. She knew that if she couldn't get something done, he could - within reason. Now that she was six months pregnant, she didn't question his authority to ride with the boys. He would return and give her a report just as she liked. He knew how she thought.
This man lives on the bottom level of a rusty apartment. Nothing stands out to Castle. Esposito called ahead, letting the man know that they were coming. Castle looked at the file on the seat as he situated himself inside the car. They were picking up a Mr. Graves, 87 years old. He lives with his dog. His wife died four years ago. Castle didn't know all the specifics on the case. It was dry - boring. He was doing the busy work while Kate tied the bows back at the office. With one statement from Mr. Graves, they would be done and the accidental murder would be solved.
"Mr. Graves. Detective Esposito. I called earlier. We're here to escort you to the station."
It was quiet. Being that it is a Monday at 11:30 in the morning, people are at work. The sign outside says that this building doesn't allow children. The tranquility is understood. Castle hears a recliner shut and a walker grow louder. The locks turn and soon a gray-haired, hunched, old man greets them. His walker, unstable because it was missing a tennis ball, is leaning towards the men.
"I'll be right one second. Come in. I have to grab my wallet."
Mr. Graves hobbles to the counter, places his wallet inside his pocket and turns to make his way to the door.
Castle remarks that the room smelled like old people - to Esposito. He wouldn't dare let Mr. Graves hear that.
They arrive back at the station and get the old man inside the elevator. Castle can tell that Esposito is shadowing his annoyance of how tediously slow they are going. The elevator dings and they settle into their respective floor at the station. Kate is sitting in the exact spot that they left her. Esposito nods his head, silently allowing Castle to walk ahead of him as he - arm in arm - aids the old man to the couches in the waiting room.
"We brought him up."
"Took you long enough,"
"Do you see him, Kate? He might break when he sits down on the couch."
She smiles, not bring her gaze up to see his.
"Okay, well I have questions ready. Can you just write them down for me? I am so out of it today. Focusing on both might make this longer."
He takes the legal pad where she has short-handedly written out four - no, five - questions. They're the usual.
Where were you on Friday night?
And when he answered as she suspected,
What did you see?
It was a textbook interview and it should be done before the hour was over.
But didn't expect was the man to talk about his late wife as if she were the sun and stars. Mr. Graves married his wife in the 1950s, but they were never able to have any surviving children. He remarked at how beautiful Kate looked, and she smiled - acting polite to this man.
Castle shakes his head yes when she answers him about who was the lucky man. Mr. Graves wished for children - as did his wife - but they we're not blessed with any over the age of one.
Their interview finished. It was longer than the expected, but no one seemed to be aggravated. Castle - hungry for stories - loved to hear the man talk about how his wife was the strongest he's ever known. When he thought they were at their worst, she would surprise him and their life wouldn't seem as bad.
Kate wanted the answers but secretly enjoyed hearing about his past. It made her trust in this man develop more. His statement was credible. The murder took place just as the sun was setting. He had made his way to take his dog outside - something that the neighbor usually does, but she was sick that night. Therefore, Mr. Graves had to make the trek to the side yard.
Kate left, leaving Castle to entertain the man as she processed his interview.
"You're lucky, you know. She seems wonderful."
"She is," Castle responds, looking at his hands.
The men sat opposite from each other. Mr. Graves' walker was to the right of the table. He was sitting back on the couch, hands at his sides.
Their pause was awkward and Castle's curiosity was eating at him.
"Can I ask you something?" he interrupts.
"Sure. Did you want to bring her back in so you can write it down?"
"No, sorry - I, uh - I wanted this to be off of her record."
"What's on your mind?"
"How long were you and Mrs. Graves married for?"
"A long time, me and my Lilly."
He shakes his head in agreement.
"How did you make it work? If that's not too personal."
"Not at all. You see," he says, pulling at his pant leg, "when we got married, we were young. We didn't know anything. Heck, I proposed to her after two months of knowing her. She said yes and she made me the happiest man. We were poor, living in a split house with another family who had six kids and only two bedrooms. Living like that you start to learn how to tolerate things."
Mr. Graves clears his throat and sits further up on the couch.
"When I finally got a better job, we moved out. The market was wonderful for houses so we bought one with enough bedrooms for all the children we dreamed about. We would spend all night talking about names. But timed passed and it just wasn't in our cards. She was upset, yes. So was I. Losing a child, nothing's worse - regardless of the circumstances."
Castle understands, but he doesn't want him to know.
"So you substitute your anger for love; your sorrow for grace. You take all the energy you have that you hate and you make it something better. See, Lilly was my world. She made everyday healthier simply by waking up next to me."
"But how do you make sure she knows that when she's so angry?"
"You love her. You use your common sense. It will always know better than you."
Mr. Graves sits on the edge of the seat, talking with his hands now.
"And I have advice for you. You see that woman - "
He points to Kate, who is standing over her desk putting papers in their places.
"She's tired. She's doing her job and she's scared to let herself feel scared - I can tell the look. Don't beg her scared; it's not good. But you go to work - work hard. Provide for them. Let her think that she's right because she probably will be when you realize."
Castle laughs knowing that it's all too true.
"And you love her. Simple. Something can't break if it's unbreakable. It can just be scratched a little."
Castle lets the last sentence sink in as Ryan breaks into the room.
"Okay, Mr. Graves. There's no sense in making you wait. I've got the okay from the boss to let you go home."
"Oh, okay. Good."
Ryan slides his arm underneath the man's and brings him to his walker.
They exit, leaving Castle alone on the couch, hands still intertwined.
Kate walks over with a folder resting in her hands, using one to push open the door. Without breaking her focus, she begins to tell Castle what she's got left to do. When he doesn't respond, she looks to him.
"Castle, are you okay?"
He smiles and stands.
"Perfect."
He squeezes her arm, kisses her on the cheek, and walks past her.
Somehow, even though nothing has physically changed between them, he knows that this time, they are permanently better.
I feel like a broken record, but I do apologize for the delay of this chapter. I "work" for two magazines and they are both publishing next week - just in time for all of my school work to kick up again. I'll try to squeeze more in while I have this down time :]
Thoughts on this chapter? I hope this story isn't dragging. If so, let me know. I'll change it where I need to.
As always - especially because of my schedule - I can answer you easily at meggh11 (twitter) or (stillcatchingupDOTtumblrDOTc om)
- Meg