Chapter 11
Edward
Elf plays out on the screen in front of me. And while normally it's humorous and all-around entertaining, I can't find it in me to pay any attention to it. Nope, not even a bit.
Bella is seated at the other end of the couch, and I'm trying my best to keep from staring at her. She's beautiful and just knowing she's going to be sleeping in my house tonight makes her that much more interesting.
My eyes want to stay trained on her.
My body wants to climb over my precious son and sit next to her.
My heart wants to tell her things that I'm not sure my brain is willing to admit yet.
But one look at my son shuts me up, though he is perfectly content between us, holding a bowl of popcorn and giggling at the silly movie.
I try to stay up with the movie and the funny parts, laughing along with Bella and Ej as they begin to split a gut, so it at least looks as though I'm watching it.
Just before the end, Ej drops off. I sigh in relief because I'm not sure if I could've taken another movie sitting this close to Bella and not touching her.
I click off the TV, remove the half-emptied bowl of popcorn from his lap, and gingerly pick up Ej, walking him across the house to his room. I tuck him in, nice and snug before flicking on his nightlight and leaving his door open a crack.
It's all part of the routine. This is what I have to do most nights and honestly I love every minute of it. I know there will come a day where I'm not going to be able to put him to bed.
But when I come out of his room, I'm left wondering what to do now. Bella's sitting on the couch looking adorable, and I'm feeling like an idiot teenager who can't control his hormones.
"Is he out for the night?" she asks quietly.
I hum. "I think so, but I'm going to wait a bit to lay out his presents, just to make sure."
She nods and yawns. "Oh, sorry."
"Don't apologize, you must've had a busy day."
"I did."
"Well, then, let me get you some blankets and some clothes to change in to," I say, standing and heading toward my room. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep in my room?" Secretly, I think I'm pretty enticed by the idea of her sleeping in my bed
She smirks but shakes her head. "I'll be just fine on the couch."
After Bella changes into the clothes I've brought her, I take another long look at her from head to toe. Even though her amazing curves are being hidden by my clothes, I still think she's irresistible strutting around wearing my Patriots shirt.
But to tamp down the urges I find myself overcome with, I take to washing the dishes from earlier.
Once the dishes are as clean as they are going to get, I tip toe out through the living room. Bella is fast asleep, and after peeking in on Ej, I'm sure I can commence operation Santa.
I go back to my closet and gather some of Ej's gifts. It's times like this when I realize just how spoiled my boy really is. I'm going to have to make a few trips.
With the first group, I carry them out and place them carefully under the tree. Then I hurry back and grab another armful of packages, taking the same care with these ones, not wanting to disturb anyone sleeping.
I smile to myself as I stuff candy, chocolate and little trinkets in to two stockings—one for Ej and one for Bella.
And then, finally, I gather the big gifts, as well as the couple Ej and I got for Bella.
After it's all finished and I've made it yet another year without ruining my son's childhood, I breathe a sigh of relief.
I take a nice long look at the tree, satisfied with how wonderful it looks, adorned by the mound of presents scattered around it. It makes me reminiscent of when I was a kid on Christmas morning, and I'm sure Ej is going to go wild as soon as he wakes up.
I head toward the breakfast bar and decide to eat the snack we left out for Santa.
On the plate there're a couple of Christmas cookies Bella brought earlier and a tall glass of milk. It all looks too good to resist.
I saddle up to a seat and take a bite of one of the cookies while the lights on the tree twinkle. It's all kind of heavy, especially knowing Ej's wish. There's simply no way I can make his big wish happen. I'm just glad it snowed.
A new mom for him would take a lot of work and I'm still not completely sure if I'm ready to get back into the world of dating.
After his mother beat my spirit to a pulp, I'm still a little hand shy when it comes to relationships. No matter how well you think you know someone, I guess there's always a side of them that will surprise you whether it's good or bad.
I close my eyes and silently wish there was an easier way. One that wasn't messy and full of first dates. I blow out a breath and sip some more of the milk.
There's a moment where I'm deep in thought, only to be brought out of it by groans and mumbling coming from the couch.
I come to and quickly get up from the bar stool, heading over to where Bella is sleeping. I'm worried, afraid that she's having some sort of nightmare because she's in a strange place, sleeping.
As soon as I kneel next to the couch, she's at it again. But this time almost thrashing around, and it's then I hear my name and Ej's fall from her lips.
I nudge her, trying to wake her up and end her discomfort because I can't stand it. I need to know what's going on in her head. "Bella, honey," I whisper, shaking her shoulder lightly. "You need to wake up."
She comes to, immediately sitting up.
"Edward?" she murmurs, squinting her eyes at me.
I nod, but can't even begin to form words.
"Oh, Edward," she whispers as her warm hands find my face. My breath stops dead in my throat.
It all happens so fast—before I even have a chance to think, her lips are on mine.
And I'm not complaining, but it's a whirlwind.
I can't stop it though, it feels so good to finally have her lips against mine. I kiss her back, feeling her fingers begin twisting in my hair. I reach up, trying my best to hold her in any way I can. I crave the closeness. It's so much, but not enough at the same time.
Her soft, sweet moan is all I need to tell me that this, whatever this is, is okay.
I hum happily back, elated.
I press my lips harder against hers and hold on to her tighter. And when there's another one of those moans that I could just bottle up and keep forever, I smile into her lips.
My mouth opens some, tongue darting out, begging to taste her. Something I've been dying to do for a few weeks now. And I'm far from disappointed when our tongues swirl together.
She's sweet, she's soft, and I'm so taken in the moment.
"Bella," I mumble softly.
She hums back, twisting her tongue around mine and pushing me back onto the couch.
Her fingers are fast, sliding down to the hem of my shirt, tugging, but I shake my head and pull back a bit. It's not as if I don't want to do this, don't want to be with her, but it can't happen out here on the couch. No way, not out here. Plus, I think we need to talk first.
She rears back, looking almost heartbroken. And I can see the realization of what just happened as it crosses her face.
"It's okay, Bella… I just, I'm a bit overwhelmed," I explain, rubbing my hand over my face. "It's been a long time," I clear my throat, "for me, and I have a lot to consider."
She looks up at me from underneath her long eyelashes. "I understand, Edward. And I want you to know, I don't normally do this type of thing." Her voice is soft and almost shy. "I adore you and Ej, and don't take any of this lightly. We can stop, if you want."
I shake my head no, because I don't want to stop. I want her; I realize I've wanted her for months now. So I quickly find my tongue and tell her why I stopped. "I want to do this right." I nod my head toward the hallway. "In the bedroom, not out here," I whisper, still conscious of the fact that Ej might wake up.
Her eyes light up and a sweet smile crosses her beautiful lips. I can't stop myself from scooping her up and carrying her to my room.
I gently kick the door shut behind us and love the giggle that falls from her lips as I place her on my bed.
"Oh, this is a sight," I whisper reverently, standing back and admiring Bella lain out so beautifully on my bed, in my clothes.
She gives me an encouraging smile, and I slowly pull my shirt off over my head before meeting her on my bed.
She bites her bottom lip as I roll next to her and I find myself staring into her lovely eyes.
"Is this okay?" I wonder, maybe I've made some kind of mistake. "Are we…is this…?" I can't seem to formulate my thoughts.
"It's perfectly fine," she whispers, her smile still in place. "We are perfectly fine, Edward. And we will be perfectly fine after this as well."
I blow out a breath, mostly in relief, before dipping down to capture those plump, sexy lips again. I could spend all night tasting her if she'd let me.
I suck on the bottom one as my hands begin to learn ever dip and curve of her beautiful body. The only time she pulls away from me is when I lift my shirt over her head.
The view from above her is glorious as I undress myself, and my fantasies didn't do her justice. Her supple breasts are craving to be touched. And I'm dying to be the one to do the touching.
But when I look into her eyes, wondering if this is all okay still, I see worry. Nerves.
"You said this was okay, so you lead; you tell me if this is too much. We can stop," I assure her. I'm not looking to ruin anything by moving too quickly, but I'm pretty sure she wants me as much as I want her.
She opens her mouth to speak, but for whatever reason she doesn't say anything.
That's when I pull back for a moment. We can't have this awkwardness.
"What's the matter, Bella?" I wonder, brushing a piece of her silky hair behind her ear. "A moment ago you were so sure…about us."
She shrugs, frowning. "I am sure. I just don't really like…this," she tells me, waving her hand over body.
My eyes go wide, because really, how could a woman not like to look the way she does. She's so beautiful…inside and out.
"Edward…" she murmurs softly, knowing exactly what I'm thinking.
"Bella, I'm serious, you're a ten, a twelve, a twenty…Christ…off the charts. You're perfect."
She sighs, looking anywhere but at me.
I lift her chin, staring directly into those brown eyes that I've come to love so much. "Bella, you are beautiful, and if you can't see it, then I may just have to make you see it. I promise to worship you until the day comes that you do feel beautiful. And then when that day comes, we'll celebrate and I'll continue to worship you every day."
Our kiss becomes a tangle of tongues as I pull off her bra and really feel her tender skin for the first time. They're so smooth and full and I'm in love.
My hands cup her sensuous mounds and my thumbs roll her nipples.
"Oh," she sighs, sounding ready for more. I plant tiny kisses over her tummy. One that I find to be just splendid in my eyes.
I remove her pants and part her thighs, sliding my hands up as I go, she feels wonderful beneath me. Making me wonder how she could ever see herself as anything but perfect.
Her panties are tiny and flimsy, just asking to be dropped to the floor like the rest of her clothes. And after a few delicate kisses on her belly and her hips that's exactly what happens.
I slip my fingers inside her. "You're so wet," I breathe. It's almost too much. I ache to be inside her. But like I declared earlier, I'm going to worship her. I'm going to show her just how gorgeous and delicious she truly is, and she's going to love it.
She nods her head, letting out an adorable little mewl as I slick my fingers in her juices.
"Are you always like this?" I ask curiously.
She mumbles something that I can't quite make out before nodding.
I smirk up at her and begin to slowly bring her to life, loving the sounds she makes.
"Oh, God, Edward."
Once she's moaned and clenched the sheets so tight that her knuckles are white, I reach over to my night table for a condom and get ready to slide my desperate cock inside her warm center.
"Damn it, Bella, can you get any better?" I whisper, while I'm slowly sliding into her, and it's amazing. She's amazing. So warm, so soft…so perfect.
There's no better word for it.
"Ugh," I grunt, finally seating myself deep within her. And the best part is when I look down into her sweet eyes, seeing the emotions I feel being mirrored back. "Oh, Bella."
"I need you," she mumbles quietly. "I think I've needed you all my life."
"Then take me, beautiful," I tell her, rolling us over so that she's on top. "Make me yours."
Her eyes worry for a moment, before I feel her move and it feels delicious. "Jesus," I breathe out, trying to catch my breath, the move almost too pleasurable.
"You like that?" she whispers, rolling her hips and finding her confidence all at the same time.
I nod emphatically, letting her know there's really no wrong move when it comes to her making love to me.
She rolls her hips and begins to bounce a little, giving me succulent pleasure, one that tells me I need to return the favor. While she continues to move, I slide my finger between us, finding her slick clit and rubbing it.
She clenches around me, tightening, making every sensation that much more. Everything begins to speed up.
"Fuck," I mutter, meeting her hips as she slides up and down my cock. It all feels so good and I want nothing more than to chase that feeling.
"Oh, Edward. Jesus."
I nod, not finding the words, but leaning forward, I suck her nipple into my mouth. Flicking it with my tongue and then finally before I'm finished, I bite down lightly, sending her into a tizzy.
"Shit," she moans, speeding up, to the point where she's moving so fast I can't rhythm with her. I let her take over and just lay there, living in the pleasure that her magnificent body is giving me.
It's only moments later she's moaning my name in ecstasy, and I follow by my own words of her name, falling from my lips.
Her soft body collapses on to mine—together, holding each other, we lay there, trying to catch our breath.
"Wow," she murmurs after a bit.
"Yeah," I breathe. "You can say that again."
She looks up at me with a gorgeous smile. "Merry Christmas, Edward."
I press a soft kiss to her lips and whisper, "Merry Christmas, Bella."