"Yes. No. Maybe? Do I? No."
"Do you," she asked, accepting to both answers.
"Yes. No. Damn."
"Well, damn isn't a choice," she jokes.
He looks to her, excited, but concerned.
"Kate, I thought we were waiting. You wanted to wait, remember?"
"I do remember. And I do still want to be surprised. But there is going to be so many surprises. Maybe this will make the nursery easier, buying clothes – it might make everything easier."
"Kate. Honey. If you want to find out because – because it will help. Then for God's sake, I'll get the doctor from his house right now."
"I don't think his family would like that," Kate laughed.
"I just want you to be happy."
"And I am, Castle. I really am. I want you to know that."
She grabs his hands, which are resting on her sides, and brings them in front of her. Pulling on them, getting him to look at her, she smiles.
"It's been hard, but you have to know that . . . if I had to do this all again – all of it – because it gets me to here, I'd do it."
It hits him that she means it. She means all of it. He understands. She would never condemn her son, but because he had to die – by some cruel trick of fate – it brought her here. And she would do it all again.
"I'm taking a positive, Castle."
Where are you taking me?
He sends another text message hoping to spring one clue from his non-responsive wife.
Castle was stirred awake that morning by an ecstatic Kate. She grabbed him out of bed – one that he was looking to sleep in for at least a few more hours – and rushed him to the shower. Take a shower, put some clothes on and disappear for a few hours. He didn't question it too much. He was too tired to think about anything but putting one foot in front of the other. The only way he avoided falling back asleep in the shower was the occasional knock on the glass by a very persistent – and very pregnant – Kate.
She doesn't respond. She hasn't all day. He's standing outside his building. The May air brushes against his shirt as he's looking up to his window.
What is she up to?
It's been three hours since he was practically thrown out the door. He had nothing to do – he didn't plan to do anything today.
Castle puts his foot through the lobby door, looking around, expecting to be thrown out of the building.
"Nope, not yet, Mr. Castle."
"You too?" he asks the man behind the desk.
He just smiles and sends him back outside.
"Well is it food?" Castle shouts as the door shuts on him.
"Okay, you can let him up when you see him."
"Mrs. Castle, he left to take a walk."
Kate laughs, "Okay, well buzz up when you see him."
Kate looks around the apartment, excited that her plan worked. Yesterday Alexis had stopped by to make everything easy to move. She brought the ingredients Kate needed and helped her place things around the apartment. Castle, being tired from working, and stopping by the precinct - something Kate made him to - she knew he wouldn't notice tiny things. After her father left today, she ran back here and made sure she did the heavy lifting. Kate thanked the girl who proceeded to beg her to call, text, anything when it was time – regardless of the hour.
Kate walks to the Christmas lights curled around the pillars of the loft and around the kitchen. She has her iPod in the player, ready to press play when the time is right. The television has the soft waves playing in the background. She smoothed her shaking hands down her tribal dress – maternity this time. Walking over to the living room, Kate turned on the extension cord, lighting up lanterns hanging from the ceiling – only by tape. Thankfully they were light.
Moments passed, but Kate hears the buzz coming from the door and knows that it's time to stand. A nervous knot temporarily forms in her stomach and travels to her hands. Walking by the mirror once more – checking her hair – she puts the envelope on the table.
A knock on the door means that it's time to start. She unlocks it, pulls it open with a smile, to see a very impatient man waiting on the other side.
"Kate, what in the world were you – "
And then he sees it, the work that she put into the apartment. The lights she dimmed. The lanterns, each one different. The flowers on the table. His feet stop, he doesn't get it. Looking around, turning in a circle, he comes back to Kate who has shut the door. Her hands effortlessly lying around her stomach – her almost nine month wide stomach.
"Do you like it?"
"Yes, but – I'm missing something, aren't I."
"Yup, and I'm not telling you," she says, walking away from him with a smirk.
They eat their dinner. Instead of cleaning the plates, Kate pushes them to the end of the table. She pulls the envelope from the chair besides her and hands it to him.
"What's this."
"Just open it."
He peels back the white paper revealing a card.
"Wait! Make sure you read the front first."
He pulls the card from the paper and sees a hand written note.
Only if you want to know…
"Know what – wait, do you know?"
"I know," she smiles, not looking at his face, playing with the hair behind her head.
"I don't kn – we're so close. But, ugh. I do."
She laughs at him again. His childish indecisiveness pulling at her.
"Are you the only one?"
"Alexis knows too."
"How? When!"
"She helped me with the lights."
"You know, I was wondering about that. How you managed to do that but you can't stand up…"
"Just open your damn card."
He smiles, deciding that he should.
Inside is an ultrasound – one that he has seen before. The baby is big, its face on its side. A tiny nose, a little hand in the air.
"I can't read this – "
"Turn it over,"
I hope you like your present.
Love,
Your girls.
His heart quickens. A wave hits his chest and pumps throughout him. His eyes fill up, hands still holding the weightless paper. He doesn't look at her yet, but flips over the page, again, to see the first picture of his daughter.
Before he can speak, music fills the room.
Oh, my love. My darling. I've hungered for your touch…
"Castle, stand up."
"What?"
"Come on. Stand up," Kate says, taking his hands.
And time goes by so slowly. And time can do so much…
Castle obeyed. Her hands sneaking to his, pulling him into the foyer. She takes one, slides his other around her waist.
"Is there where I say, 'ah middle school style,"
"So you remember."
She's barefoot again, but this time there's something between them. They sway, the lights bouncing off the top of her head. Quickly, she brings her hand to wipe a stray tear from his face.
"You have made me the happiest person,"
"Eh, I try," Kate says, smiling as they sway.
Her hair fell to her back as his hands brush across her face. His thumb at her chin, his fingers by her eye.
"I'm sorry, Castle. For everything, really. I mean it this time."
Castle shakes his head, still radiating from her.
"It's just," she sighs, "I am still getting used to someone else caring for me."
He'd tell her another time of how unbelievably strong she is and that he will forever be in her debt for that.
She slides her head to his chest, his arms awkwardly hugging her and their daughter.
Still against him, Kate says, "I've thought of a name,"
"Oh have you."
"Yea, I have. It means honor."
"And what is this name."
Still swaying, the music switches songs.
"You're the writer, what do you think it is."
"I don't know, Kate, but whatever it is, I know I'll love it."
She looks up to him, reaches on her toes, and kisses him quickly before returning to her feet.
His hand brushes her hair behind her ear and kisses her once more.
"It's okay. I like you here."
She rests back into him, letting some of her weight transfer.
" – why, were you going somewhere?" he says to her.
Her subtle laugh vibrates his chest.
They dance through a few more songs before they are standing in the foyer, no longer moving.
"Should we sit?"
"Not yet," she responds.
"I'm glad it's a girl. You're so good with girls."
"I am too. Although I would have loved a boy, a girl is making me so happy already, why not add another."
Her feet hurt, and they were going to hurt worse, but she couldn't let her grip of him go. Her head on his chest, feeling his warmth and embracing his smell. They continue to sway as the music finally does fade - she only put a few songs on her playlist - and they come to a stop. Looking to him, her eyes bright, he smiles back at her.
"It's Nora,"
Thoughts?
- for those just joining us, refer to chapter 8 of surprises - actually, refer to the entire story :]