Chapter 14: Unique

It had been hours since they had all sent themselves to bed, all of them tired beyond belief, but somehow, Donatello found that despite the fact that his head was still throbbing and every single bone in his body screamed in protest to even moving again, he lay in his 'bed' and he stared blankly up at the ceiling, wide awake. His hand was resting on his stomach, and the other pillowing the back of his head. It was so late at night, and he was so desperately tired and worn out from the night's events, but he just couldn't sleep. His vast, intelligent mind, one that held many meticulous thoughts buzzing around inside per second twenty-four hours a day, reflected only on one thing.

All his thoughts, the reason why he found he couldn't sleep, were because of what Dr. Falco had told them that night.

They had wanted to know the truth, and so they got it. Were they happy to hear what the man had to say? No, probably not. Did it get them any closer to finding out what the mutagen was ever meant for? That's a bold-lettered no. His brothers seemed to be pretty let down by the news as well, but they'd just brushed it off like it was literally nothing. Donnie, on the other hand, was still fuming.

What Falco had said, in reality...it irked him.

His brows furrowed together at the thought of it. He replayed the entire conversation over and over again in his mind, trying to see if he'd missed anything or maybe misheard a few things and he was just being paranoid and angry over nothing. But no matter how many times he repeated it and repeated it, it was always the same thing.

The scientists had found the mutagen in the warehouse fifteen years ago, purely by chance. They had accidently let it get stolen by a Kraang droid in disguise. Splinter, as Hamato Yoshi back then, had come across the thief in the alleyway unintentionally, after stepping on a rat by mistake. They had fought and smashed the canister all over Hamato by a disastrous mishap. The ooze had spilled upon all them, and then turned them into the mutants they were today, because the mutagen was inexplicably unstable.

Donnie felt anger rise up within him as his face twisted into an angry scowl, his reddish brown eyes narrowing dangerously as he fought the urge to punch the wall next to him.

None of the events of the past fifteen years of their lives were supposed to happen.

April was never meant to be rescued by Raphael in the subway, meet them all together in their home and then become friends with them, and neither was Casey Jones. Splinter was never meant to become a mutant rat, and then forced to live the rest of his days in the shadows of a filthy sewer. Splinter was never meant to love them and raise them all as if they were his own, because they weren't. He and his brothers were never meant to become ninjas and protect the city.

They were all just freaks. Total, complete freaks that were shunned just for being here, when in reality, they were never supposed to be in the first place.

Their entire lives were not meant to be.

Their very existence was just a great big mistake.

In that moment, Donatello never felt more pathetic, more worthless in his entire, seemingly meaningless life. The very fact that he was not meant to be, that his brothers and his father were never meant to be, infuriated him to the very core…

…and it hurt.

What Falco had said that night had actually hurt him.

"...Donnie?"

Blinking once in surprise, Donnie was snapped out of his angry thoughts by the sound of his younger brothers' voice in the dark beside him, and being careful not to pull at any of his wounds, he turned his body so that he was facing the left. Michelangelo was lying on the seats opposite him as he stared at Donnie with big, confused, baby blue eyes that seemed to comically glow in the darkness of the subway car.

Donnie raised a brow. How long had he been awake for? The last time he looked, the younger turtle was passed out with his limbs sprawled about the seats and lightly snoring with his mouth hung open and a little bit of drool coming out. Now he was suddenly just as wide awake as Donnie? "…Where you watching me this whole time, Mikey?" he asked in a low voice. He didn't know who else was up or asleep at this point, and he didn't want to risk waking them up.

Still lying down on his side facing Donnie with an innocent look, Mikey shrugged. "I heard something growling like Raph in here, and it woke me up. I rolled over and I saw you still awake," he explained simply.

Oh. Was he really that loud? And did he really sound that much like Raph? Whoops.

Deciding that there was no point in trying to get to sleep now anyways, Donnie turned over and pulled on the string of the lamp next to his 'bed', flooding the room with a hazy, yellow light. "Sorry about waking you up like that, buddy…but, did you wanna ask me something else?" he asked, taking off his blanket and sitting upright, wincing a little as the movement pulled at his injuries.

Mikey followed Donnie's lead as he sat up as well, shifting himself so that he was sitting cross-legged on the bed as he faced Donnie. "I just wanted to ask if you're okay, bro," he said softly, pressing his fingers together timidly. "You've been sat like that for a little while, man. You were glaring up at the ceiling and you looked like you saw a ghost or something..."

Donnie let out a breath through his nose as he looked down. But before he could answer Mikey, a sudden shriek, muffled by the walls around them but nonetheless loud, came from one of the other subway cars further down the line. Both turtles flinched, startled by the sound.

With wide eyes, Mikey turned back to Donnie. "...is there a ghost in here?" he shuddered fearfully.

Despite his earlier mood, Donnie actually chuckled as he swung his legs around to the floor, resting his elbows on his knees as he regarded Mikey with a warm smile. "No, Mikey, there are no ghosts. There's no such thing, remember?" he eased. The poor guy was still a little bit afraid of the dark to top it off, and even though he'd only admitted it to Donnie himself, they all pretty much knew about Mikey's fear.

Well, there was that, and for some strange reason, he wasn't very fond of squirrels either.

Blinking once, Mikey then let out a sigh of relief as he finally returned to his relaxed state, grinning sheepishly. "Well, yeah, I knew that," he fibbed. Then his grin faded somewhat as he got back on track. "…but that's what you looked like before..." he murmured sadly as he looked, really looked at Donnie. He looked exhausted beyond belief, as they all did, but there was more than that as he gazed upon his older brother now.

There was a sense of sadness in his brown eyes. In fact, if there was a word that Mikey could use to describe what Donnie looked like…it would be empty. Even his smile wasn't really natural. It was if he was just forcing himself to smile for Mikey's sake. What had happened to his smart, older brother during the night? Did he have a bad dream or something? Or was it something Mikey had done to make him that way? He hoped not.

When Mikey spoke again, his voice was small and full of concern. "…You okay, Don?" he asked again.

To Mikey's disappointment, Donnie's smile turned down slightly as he looked down at his feet and sighed. "...no, Mikey," he admitted at last, "…I'm not really..."

Late in the night, the old rat, Master Splinter, decided that out of old habit and some self-assurance that he was ashamed to admit that he still needed, silently checked each of the rooms across their temporary home to make sure that everyone was sleeping soundly, and that they were comfortable in their designated sleeping arrangements.

However, one of the reasons for his little trip was that he had heard a scream that had startled him out of his own rest as he slept on the couch. It was a scream that sounded a lot like his second eldest son, Raphael.

It was not uncommon for his four sons to have nightmares after their first battle with the Shredder, and it was not uncommon for him to hear them shuffle to one another's rooms during the night whilst he meditated, in order to seek solace with each other. The choice of which brother they chose to pay a visit to all depended on the vividness of the dream they had. And how long they stayed in the other's room depended on…well, it didn't depend on anything rather than just how tired they were to not be bothered to go back to their own rooms.

Sometimes when he checked on them back in their old lair, he would find either two turtles in one bed, huddled next to each other in the small space, or even three turtles in one bed. That would mean one turtle (usually Michelangelo, for he could sleep in just about any position) on top of his other two brothers, who just had to bear his weight and hope they wouldn't be squashed in their sleep.

It was on one night, however, that when he exited had the dojo to the sound of several footsteps moving across the lair in the dead of night, he was somewhat shocked to find that all four of his boys were fast asleep in a massive dog pile in the pit, covered in blankets and surrounded by a nest of pillows. All of them had probably been woken up during the night by the fears that plagued the back of their minds, and then found reassurance and safety in sleeping together, just as they had done back when they were small children all those years ago. Despite the oddity of it all, and the fact that he was sure they were going to get a cold for sleeping out in the living room like that, Splinter had simply smiled at the sight and let them be.

Only after he had April take a picture and frame it for him, of course; April had been staying over that night, and though he felt a little bad about waking her up in the middle of the night, he could tell by the look on her face that she felt it was worth it.

Keeping silent all the while so as not to wake anyone, he first checked the humans' subway car as he carefully opened the doors and peered inside, his rodent eyes adjusting to the darkness almost immediately. April, Casey and Dr. Falco were all sound asleep (but with Casey's snoring, he was surprised they could sleep at all). April had claimed the row of seats on Splinter's right, whilst Falco was sleeping on the left side. Casey, ever the teenage boy, was sprawled out on the floor in a mess of blankets, and Splinter restrained a chuckle upon noticing that he still had his mask on. Why he wore that whilst he was sleeping, they had no idea.

Shaking his head with a smile, Splinter closed the doors again and moved on towards Raphael's' car. He really should have checked his first, since it was his scream that had woken him up. But he was surprised to find that when he opened the doors, all he spotted was Spike, his pet turtle, nestled within the blankets instead of his mutant turtle son. Splinters' brow furrowed. Where was Raphael?

Wait a moment. If Raphael had a nightmare that was bad enough to make him leave his room, then there was only one place his red clad son could be.

Just as he'd predicted, he soon found Raphael sharing the bed on the floor with his eldest son, Leonardo. Raphael had his arms wrapped around Leonardo's waist in a tight, protective embrace, which his older brother seemed to have returned in kind.

Silently stepping inside the car and kneeling down beside them, Splinter reached out and rested both hands on their heads as he gently patted them, gazing down at his two eldest with a warm smile gracing his furry features at the sight.

Leonardo had told him everything that had happened to them that night, down to the last detail…especially how they were almost sent to their doom hanging over a vat of mutagen, which had scared Splinter beyond belief, but it didn't show other than the clenching of a shaking fist. Of course, after all of that, Raphael's only foreseeable, yet completely understandable reaction would be to become somewhat protective of his brothers. Though of course, being who he was, he would never dare admit to it.

He stroked their heads once more, and after slipping outside, he silently closed the doors, allowing the two to rest in peace and security.

Splinter then moved on to where Donatello and Michelangelo slept together…and then he stopped, instantly noticing that the light in the room was still on. He lifted a confused brow. What were they still doing up at such a late hour? Had they been woken up by Raphael's outcry as well?

As he walked closer, he could also pick up a muffled conversation going on inside. Curious as to what they were talking about, but not wanting to alert them of his presence, he gently pressed an ear to the door and listened.

He just managed to catch Michelangelo asking Donatello if he was alright.

Then he heard his purple clad turtle heave a sigh, responding with a sad "...no, Mikey…I'm not really…"

Mikey tilted his head to the side in confusion to Donnie's somewhat sullen answer. Sometimes when Donnie was upset, it was quite hard to tell what it was that had upset him in the first place, and he would shut himself up and refuse to talk to anyone, unless it was Master Splinter. It could have been either a bad dream he had, or because he was thinking of more science-y projects that kept him awake, or that he was still thinking about the possibility of him and April together...again.

But this wasn't any of those kinds of 'Upset Donnie Phases' that they all went through every other day. This was different, and probably even worse. Either way, Mikey knew he still had to cheer him up somehow. It was his job after all, to make people smile. It was one of the things he could do best.

His mind made up, Mikey stood up and shuffled his way over to Donnie's left side, plopping himself next to his brother as he looked up at him with serene, innocent blue eyes. "Donnie, y'know you can tell good old Mikey what your problem is. That's what bro's are for," he reassured, putting his hand on his shoulder as he offered Donnie a real, freckled smile.

In spite of Mikey's encouragement, Donatello only exhaled again and shook his head, looking away from the younger turtle. "I dunno," he answered glumly. "No offense, Mikey, but I don't think you'll understand…"

Mikey frowned, tightening his grip on Donnie's shoulder. "Of course I will! Just tell me, man!" he urged, and then his expression softened as he took Donnie's other shoulder, turning him back to face him. "…I'm here for you…" he said.

Donnie blinked down at his brother in surprise. Mikey's persistence to help people was at times a little exasperating, but it was also very commendable. He would do anything to make sure that others around him were smiling just as much as he was, no matter how bad the circumstances may be. It was in knowing that Mikey would not stop until he knew what the problem was and how he could solve it that finally made Donatello cave in with another tired sigh.

"…well…" he explained at last, and noticed how as Mikey let go of his shoulders, he leaned in closer so that he could listen. Donnie couldn't fight the faint smile at that little action as he continued. "…It's what Falco said to us tonight…about the mutagen…about everything. And I just…I just feel as though…ugh, I just feel really useless right now, Mikey…" he muttered, covering his face with his large hands and putting his elbows on his knees.

Mikey could only watch him, his blue eyes filled with concern and pity for his confused and troubled older brother.

Someone suddenly knocked twice on the door. The two turtles froze with little gasps of surprise as they shared a wide eyed glance. Uh oh. Had they woken someone else up?

"...uh, c-come in," Donatello answered nervously. How had he not noticed that someone was out there listening to them? He was a ninja for crying out loud.

Seconds later, Master Splinter opened the door to find Donatello and Michelangelo both seated upon one of the benches on his left side, both of them looking up at him with sheepish expressions. He looked at both of them, raising a curious furry brow.

"Um, hi Sensei," Michelangelo stuttered, pressing his fingers together as he chuckled nervously. They weren't supposed to be up this late, and worst of all, they'd probably woken him up because of their chatter. They were so dead. "Uh…w-we were just, uh –"

Splinter held up a hand to silence him, shaking his head. "No need to apologize, my son," he said, "I was already coming in to check on you boys…but then I overheard this interesting conversation…" He moved to sit on the seat opposite his two younger sons, placing his hands on his knees as he regarded them. Michelangelo shifted to lay his head on Donatello's shoulder in a comforting gesture. Donatello looked down and smiled in gratitude, wrapping his left arm around Michelangelo's shoulders. Once they were settled, Splinter spoke again. "Tell me, what troubles you my sons?" he asked.

His smile fading, Michelangelo glanced up at his older brother, hoping that maybe with Splinter here, he would finally open up to them. Donatello let out another long sigh as he began to explain. "I don't know, Sensei. I just thought...I just thought there would be more to the ooze...more to us, everything, you know?" he said frankly.

Splinter observed his third sons' disheartened expression as he continued. "…I always thought that there would be something...I thought we would find out we were special or something..."

Donnie suddenly grew an angry expression, and he slammed his fist on the door to his right, startling Michelangelo a bit as he let out a tiny yelp.

"I don't believe him!" Donnie almost snarled as he glared down at his lap. "There has to be more to it than that! I mean, yeah, aliens from another dimension made it, big whoop! But where exactly did it come from?! What dimension did those Kraang blobs even come from?! What do they want the ooze to do if not for mutating people? What...what purpose do we have here...if we were just an accident?" he trailed off as he started playing with the wrappings on his hand absently, not knowing what else to say as he turned away sadly.

As Donnie became silent, Michelangelo looked down helplessly. His big brother was upset, and for the first time ever, he didn't know what to do or what to say to console him.

Splinter had said nothing during Donnie's little angered outburst, simply allowing his son to let off steam, just as he would do with Raphael. Though compared to Raphael, speaking to Donatello about matters far greater than his own comprehension, due to his sons' exceeding mind, proved to be a little more difficult. He had the least in common with Donnie, apart from the fact that they were both, at one point or another, smitten beyond reason with a woman. That he could probably help him with. But matters such as these were quite tricky; whatever Splinter said could ultimately make or break the situation for good, and the latter was the last thing he wanted.

However, it still pained him to hear that his son thought this way. There had to be something he could say to quell his wounded spirit…

With a soft sigh, Splinter stood up and rested both hands firmly but reassuringly on Michelangelo and Donatello's shoulders, causing them both to look up at him as he kneeled down to their eye level. "I know what you are feeling, my son," he spoke softly. "I too have questioned my place in this life many times since our mutation. However, do not confuse the spectre of your origin to your present worth. In my eyes, you have always been, and shall always remain special."

To his relief, Michelangelo visibly brightened at that, smiling and turning to his older brother, expecting him to be smiling also.

Donatello looked to the side in thought upon his fathers' words. It was true; Splinter had always valued and loved them all for who and what they were, ever since the very beginning. Despite being human once before, he didn't find them to be frightening or strange at all once he saw that they were only infants, (but the fact that he too was a mutant probably helped with that). But he even went so far as to take them under his wing, and left everything else in his human life behind in order to raise them and protect them in the sewers, all by himself no less. He was willing to raise four boys on his own, in the sewers, and never once did he complain or decide to abandon them.

If he didn't think they were special to him, he would have left them alone to die years ago as infants. In fact, he would never have bought them all together at the pet store if he had not seen something extraordinary within them.

Even if the mutagen was not supposed to do what it did to them, if anything, it'd made them just as special as they ever would've ever been as normal pets. Donnie had to be grateful, at least, for that.

He finally slid his dark reddish-brown eyes to look up at his father, a small but sure smile reaching his lips as he nodded, "…thanks, Sensei," he said at last. "Maybe…maybe you're right."

Splinter returned his smile, tightening his grip on their shoulders as he nodded as well. "I am!" he chuckled.

"Hey, we're special too, right?" came a sarcastic remark outside the car doors.

All three heads turned to see that both Leonardo and Raphael were now stood in the doorway. Raphael had his left arm slung over his older brothers' shoulders as Leonardo yawned rubbed his eyes from the drowsiness.

Splinter chuckled again; they were sneaking up on him now? They were getting better. "Yes, Raphael, you are all special to me. As well as to April, Casey and the many other friends we have made, who love and care for you for who and what you are."

He then watched them all fondly as Raphael and Leonardo drew in close, standing beside their younger brothers as they gazed at their Sensei. "Never forget that, my sons," he continued as he placed a hand on Leo's shoulder, "It does not matter what the mutagen was supposed to do to us all in the past. What truly matters is that it was responsible for turning us into what we are in the present; the unlikeliest of families. And it could never make any of you more unique, or as irreplaceable to me than you already are."

As Splinter spoke, a thoughtful frown creased Leo's features as he looked up at the old rat master. "But, Sensei," he probed, "Don't you ever wish that…y'know, you could somehow be human again?"

The others then turned to him again, awaiting his answer. That was something that they hadn't actually thought of before, apart from Donnie that is. Was Splinter actually happy living his life as a rat? If he could rewind and prevent himself from being mutated into what he had become, would he be better off?

To their surprise, Splinter only shook his head. "Do not fear, my sons. I am content with what I have become. This is where I belong. And you four, are my family." And then to further his point, he gave them all a loving smile.

The four brothers smiled back at their father, a new sense of confidence and purpose rising up within them. Then in the blink of an eye, the four brothers quickly surrounded him and enveloped him in a warm, yet slightly crushing group hug, which Splinter had been expecting as he hugged them back, or as much as he could anyhow. He knew how hard the past couple of days had been for the four of them, and he knew they needed this more than anything.

"Thanks, father," Donatello said as he rested his head on his shoulder.

Splinter smiled. "You are welcome, my son."

Watching from outside the train car, April listened to the entire exchange from the shadows, a warm smile on her face as she felt tears prick behind her eyes. Without a doubt in her heart, she agreed with everything Splinter had said. She loved all four of the turtles for who they were, and it was because of the mutagen, be it a blessing and a curse, that her life was made so much better than it would have ever been without them. And best of all, she also knew that Casey, who was standing next to her after he followed after her when she'd woken up, felt exactly the same.

Neither of them could imagine a life without the turtles now.

Smiling at the loving exchange between the mutant family, Casey leaned towards April. "...this whole thing was a pretty big blow for them, huh?" he whispered to her.

Without looking away from the turtles as they hugged their rat father, April nodded solemnly. "Yeah...but it looks like things are gonna get harder for them soon. Tonight's run in with the Foot gave us some even bigger problems that we have to fix..." she said, her voice low and angry.

Casey nodded. "Yep. That's for sure. So…what're we gonna do about it, red?" the vigilante probed.

April turned and looked up at him, pure determination gleaming in her eyes as she took out her Tessen from her pocket, sliding it open with a flick of her hand. "What else, Jones? We stick with them until the bitter end. Just like the last time. We'll do whatever it takes to put a stop to them once and for all," she declared firmly.

Gazing down at the redhead in surprise, Casey then beamed down at her, revealing the gap between his teeth as he nodded in complete agreement. "I love it when you're pushy!" he snickered.

April's only reply was a wicked, confident grin.