Mellow Yellow: Artie & Blaine
"Dude, I am going to get hammered."
Blaine looked up from his calculus homework and frowned at Artie. "What's wrong?"
"Kitty broke up with me," the bespectacled boy moaned. "Why do all the hot girls I get break up with me? Tina lied, so I guess I technically broke up with her. And I did call Brittany stupid, but that was only because she cheated on me with Santana. Technically, I guess I never dated Quinn but she totally quit paying attention to me when Teen Jesus showed up. Don't even get me started on Sugar either. I don't know what happened with her. She just sorta disappointed out of thin air last year."
Once he was sure that the rant was complete, Blaine did the only thing he could in the face of girl troubles. He reached out and patted his friend on his shoulder. "What do you say I buy?"
An hour later, the two of them were sprawled out in the Anderson basement with Fight Club muted on the big screen and Motown R&B playing on the old record player in the corner. Blaine had called Sam in for reinforcements, asking his best friend to bring whatever he could get out of the Hummel garage in a vain attempt to cheer up Artie. Blaine still wasn't the best at this whole bromance thing. He had always had Puck around before to provide the refreshments when one of the guys was down and Finn was good at providing distractions in the form of action movies and video games. Still, hanging out consistently with Sam had given him a few weapons for his arsenal. He could also do something that the others probably wouldn't.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, holding the bottled beer loosely in his fingers.
Artie pushed up the bridge of his glasses and shrugged. "She has a thing for Ryder, and since I'll be in New York next year, she thought she should just pursue it now rather than waste the next few months on me."
"That seems…harsh."
"That's Kitty," Artie declared. "She's probably right anyways. Our lives are going to be drastically different in a few months, so maybe it's better to end it now rather than hold onto something that won't last. I will be in New York for film school, and I won't have the time or the money to come back to Ohio to see my high school girlfriend."
Blaine didn't think about how closely that sounded like the relationship he had with his fiancé. Instead, he clapped his friend on the shoulder jovially and nodded in agreement. "We'll both be in New York with Kurt, Santana and Rachel. Hopefully, Sam will come too, and we'll find a new girl to break your heart."
Artie took a big swig of beer and looked at Blaine contemplatively. "Do you really think we'll all still be friends in New York?"
"If Rachel and Kurt can live with Santana for the past eighteen months, man, I truly believe that anything is possible," Blaine pledged. "Kurt and I are going to get our own place next year, and the girls are going to need a roommate. You've always gotten along with Rach and San loves you when you're not her competition for Brit. What do you say?"
"Playing matchmaker, Blaine?" Artie chuckled before nodding along. "Yeah, okay, that might work."
"See, Artie, I told you it would be okay," Blaine teased. "You just know those two girls are going to break you in two; after they get done, you won't even care about a broken heart."
Artie's eyes went wide with true fear. "Oh, god," he moaned. Suddenly breaking up with the likes of Kitty Wilde didn't seem so hard after all.