Chapter 15: I Won't Stop Trying

Olivia laid on her couch with her back against the arm rest. She'd been in this position for the last half hour trying to decide whether to pick up the phone and call Araeyah. She went through all the reasons in her mind why it would be a bad idea for them to get involved and then thought of all the great possibilities. It got her absolutely nowhere. She couldn't deny that everything that Rae said earlier was true. She wanted her. She wanted to be with her. She was fighting her feelings because she thought, still thinks, that they're wrong. "But I can't fight them forever. Not if I continue seeing her and talking to her. I have to end this." With that thought Olivia picked up her phone and dialed Rae's number. For some reason, the ring sounded louder than normal. "Oh. That's my heart." Olivia rolled her eyes at herself and tried to calm down. She was about to hang up after about five rings with no answer. Then she was greeted by the sweetest voice she'd heard since earlier that day.

"Olivia. Hi. I was hoping you'd call" Rae couldn't erase the smile off her face. Olivia had called her. She'd actually called her.

"You were?" Olivia relaxed into her couch. She didn't know what it was about Rae's voice that made her feel so at ease but all her nerves just seemed to disappear.

Rae leaned back against her headboard. She couldn't believe the slight surprise in Olivia's voice. "Of course I was. I told you I would" Rae said remembering their earlier conversation. "And might I say that you. are. amaaazing." Rae said with emphasis on the amazing. "I don't know what you said to my landlord but someone came out and fixed my lock today. I'm very impressed detective." Olivia blushed bright red. She was glad that they were only on the phone and Rae couldn't see her face. "Thank you. I didn't really have to do much."

"Well, whatever you did, it worked." Rae wondered what Olivia was doing at that moment. Was she in her bed like she was? Or was she on her couch? Or maybe she was taking a bath. Rae closed her eyes and took a deep breath thinking about the possibility that Olivia was naked while talking to her. "I'm glad I could help" Olivia said pulling Rae from her thoughts.

"Me too." Rae said sweetly. "So how was the rest of your day off?"

Olivia sat up on the couch and braced herself for what she was about to say. She didn't want to say it. She wanted to stay on the phone with Rae all night long; find out everything there was to possibly know about her. She wanted to talk and hear her laugh. Then when they'd run out of things to say she wanted to sit in comfortable silence until one of them thought of another burning question that they just had to know the answer to. But Olivia couldn't do that. She had to do what she'd called to do: end it...before it even began. "Uhh...Rae listen..." Olivia said with a sigh. On the other end of the phone, Rae's face fell. She knew what was coming. "Uh oh. This can't be good. Let me guess. You're gonna say that I was right. That everything I said this morning was right. You do like me and want to be with me but...I'm too young for you, still in high school, just a kid, blah, blah, blah. As much as you want to pursue a relationship with me, you can't. It'd be wrong. You're glad that you could help me but we can't see or talk to each other again because it'd just be too hard." Rae paused letting out a loud sigh. "Am I right?" she asked.

"Rae..." Olivia started but she didn't get anything more out before Araeyah interrupted. "Just...yes or no Olivia. Is that what you were calling to tell me?" Olivia could hear the hurt in Rae's voice. She wanted with all her might to say no but she knew that would be a lie. She couldn't lie to her. "Yes" she finally answered.

"Ok. Well...ummm...thanks again for the help. I really appreciate it and...uhh...yeah." Rae didn't know what else to say so she said the first thing that came to mind. "I meant what I said this morning Olivia. I won't stop trying." Before Olivia could say anything else Rae hung up the phone. She got up from her bed and went back into the living room to start on the homework she'd left unattended.

Olivia let out a loud sigh and put her face in her hands. She wanted to call Rae back and say that she'd made a mistake. She wanted to say that yes she was young and yes she was still in high school and...and...well those were really the only reasons Liv could think of for why they shouldn't be together. Those and what other people would think. "How much will what other people think matter if you're happy?" Olivia thought. She picked up her phone and was about to call Rae back when it started to ring.

"Hey El, what's up?" Olivia said answering the phone.

"Liv. Sorry to cut your day off short but we caught a case." Elliot said into the receiver.

Olivia sighed. "I'll just call her later" she thought before speaking into the phone again. "Ok. What's the case?" she asked.

"Freshman at Hudson, Brandie Loomis, found by her roommate in the bathroom at a party. She was passed out and naked from the waist down. I'm here at the scene with Munch and Fin. She's being taken to St. Lukes. Can you meet her at the hospital?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm on my way." Olivia hung up the phone and got up from the couch. She changed from her sweats into jeans and shirt and pulled on some boots. Grabbing her badge, gun, keys, and cell phone she headed out of her apartment. "At least I had most of the day off" she thought. She got into her car and started the drive over to St. Lukes hospital.