Chapter 9
"Hurry up May, we're gonna be late for lunch," Lee called to her blonde sister, who was holding on to her stomach.
"Yeah," Marie waited for her sister. "Today's Whopper Wiener Wednesday, and I don't want to miss that." May then finally caught up with her sisters, as she started to feel her stomach a little woozy.
"Lee," May moaned. "I feel sick in the stomach."
"Oh quit your moaning May," Lee snapped. "You're just having your periods or something."
"Or maybe she's love sick from last night," Marie giggles. But she stops giggling when she and Lee heard an audible growling noise from May's stomach. "The hell was that? Are you hungry or something May?"
"I really feel sick guys," May groans as she kept holding on to her stomach. "I feel like barfing."
"Alright then May," Lee circles her arms around her shoulders. "We'll take you to that nurse things room. But first go to the bathroom if you are going to throw up."
"Ok," May agreed, walking towards the closest bathroom. Just when she enters the restroom, she then experiences something that was going to be shocking for her. She felt her stomach inflating like in her dreams last night, but her stomach constantly inflating and deflating. She then felt her stomach inflating from her stomach to her chest, and then to her throat, where she felt something stuck in there. May immediately rushes to one of the toilet, as whatever is coming out of her throat, is about to climb out of her mouth. When she spits it out in the toilet, what she saw in that toilet bowl made her scream like she saw the unbelievable. Her eyes were stunned to see a large dark green tadpole looking creature with yellowish eyes, and it's mouth full of razor sharp teeths. The creature was squealing in the toilet water, glaring at May who shrieked out of the stall, after flushing that damn thing.
As the weird fetus is being swallowed, the creature flown through several pipes. The creature growled as it is being forced to go through the claustrophobic tubes, not knowing where it's leading. But eventually, when the thing was halfway through the pipes running down through the basement, a loose pipe line breaks off, letting the creature drops down in the bowl of the abandon porta potty, that's filled with either poop, pee, or radioactive toxins from previous toxic leak from the power plant.
"Come on Johnny," Blossom called to her boyfriend, who seems reluctant to come.
"I don't know about this Blossom," He said as she is dragging him. "I heard that Kevin and his friends hang out here as their hideout or something."
"But we need to find evidence that the Power Plant is a poison to our environment. Now the previous radioactive spill was supposedly been found in here."
"Yeah but the school and the company said that there weren't any kind of radiation here at all and it was concluded that the spill was in the Power Plant area."
"Yeah, but I found out that some people saw tons of deformed rodents running around here, and that spells evidence right there. Now hurry, and find anything that looks toxic." Blossom then went off, as Johnny just shrugs and followed her. "Johnny, you look around there over there abandon porta potty. I'll be looking over there," Johnny nodded as the two split off. Just when Johnny came to the abandoned porta potty, he heard a strange noise coming from the portable facility. The noise sounded like a low groan, like a large animal that is either angry or hungry. Johnny went up closer to the stall, hearing the groan getting louder.
"Hey Blossom," he called to her, who was digging through a pile of barrels.
"Yeah," she replied.
"I think I found something over here."
"Really?" She then rushes towards him. "What did you find?"
"I think it's in here," Johnny pointed at the porta potty. "I heard a really weird noise in here."
"Like what?"
"Like a hideously deformed creature with superhuman size and strength."
"Open it Johnny," Johnny then reaches his fingers to the handle of the door.
"Wait, what if it was a hideously deformed creature with superhuman size and strength?" He pulled his hands back.
"That only happens in the movies silly. There is no such thing as a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength, aside from the one in Jersey. Want me to open it then?"
"Nah, I'll open it for ya," Johnny then grabs the door handle, twists it, and pulled the door open to briefly see a grotesque image before running off screaming.
Back at the cafeteria with six friends, who are dining their whopper wieners, awaiting for their dear friend Jimmy.
"So anyhow," Rolf still is eating his meal. "Rolf was in this mystical place that granted you to anything that any soul would need when you ask. From picture boxes to a donut player and the donut itself. From undergarments to shoes. From a simple Jawbreakers to boxes full of glorious meal. And other doohickey to other whatchamacallits, the place amazes Rolfe. "
"Uh Rolf," Jane interrupted. "I never thought you would enjoy being at Walmart."
"Yes, but Rolf saw more than just those whatchamacallits. I saw those music machines, the music donuts that's been boxed individually, athletic equipments such as a basketball, and…"
"Yeah yeah Rolf, Walmart has almost everything," Kage finishes his Whopper Wiener. "You can buy boomsticks too ya know that Rolf."
"Oh yes, but I have plenty thank you he who can split bones in half."
"Huh, I like that name." As everyone was chattering, Nazz kept looking at Sarah as she was constantly looking at the front door of the cafeteria.
"Sarah," Nazz tapped her in the shoulder. "Is something wrong?"
"No," Sarah turns back to her friends. "I'm just wondering where Jimmy is. Lunch is about to end, and he hasn't showed up yet."
"Again, what is Jimmy doing? Like exactly what kind of business is he going to?"
"I don't know, he didn't say anything about it."
"Was he going to meet anyone in particular?" Hailey asks Sarah.
"He didn't even mention who he was going to meet," Sarah replies. "But he did say something about buying something though."
"What was he going to buy?"
"Drugs most likely," said Kage. "I didn't know that fluffy was a junkie."
"Jimmy would do that kind of shit Fathead!" Sarah shouted in Kage's face. "So keep you fucking mouth shut!"
"Hey you shut your fuckin mouth bitch!" Kage got up to her. "Or I'll fucking stuff it with my motherfuckin dick! How do you like them apples!?"
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Calm down you guys!" Jane came in between them. "I'm pretty sure Jimmy isn't buying any drugs or anything illegal."
"Yeah, Kage," Hailey got up to her brother. "Jimmy would never buy drugs. Or ever use them."
"Hey there he is," Nazz saw Jimmy slamming his body into the cafeteria door. But Nazz realizes that Jimmy was having this fear filled look on his face. "What's wrong with him though?"
Meanwhile the three Eds were enjoying themselves by eating the most popular Whopper Wieners, and waiting for their girlfriends.
"I love Whopper Wieners Double D!" Ed exclaimed at Double D, showing some chunks of meat hanging in between his teeths. He wipes off the meat chunks with a napkin.
"I can tell Ed," Double D took another bite of his meal.
"Everyone loves Whopper Wieners ya knucklehead," Eddy chews on his Whopper Wiener. "Everyone goes nuts about them. Especially when they use to serve them in weird colors that gave us more taste."
"Unfortunately that was taken down, when one of the lunch lady found out that the wieners were exposed to radioactive toxins. Everyone was examined for radiation and mutation."
"Yeah but everyone was fine. Except for that one guy who sprayed blood and some green shit from from his mouth and ears and later got his skin and muscles melted off, making him looking like a corpse that's been shit on."
"That reminded me of a scene in Radioactive Avenger 3: The Last Stand," Ed swallowed his food. "It's the part when Radi's skin melted off and melted back to his original human form, because he made a deal with the Devil."
"Well… Yes Ed, just like that," Double D looked at him awkwardly.
"Hiya Double D!" Double D then turned around as he found himself getting jumped on by Marie. "I missed you honey!"
"Why I think so," Double D choked, as Marie hadn't realized that her knee was on his weiner.
"I guess you guys are eating without us huh?" Lee came with her and Marie's tray.
"Where's May?" Ed chews his whopper.
"YOU GUYS!" Everyone's eyes then locate May, who was out of breath. "You guys won't believe what I just saw and barfed out!"
"Oh boy," Marie rolls her eyes as Lee slams her fist into her head.
"When I was in the bathroom, my stomach started to swell up likes a balloon! Then it started to grow up to my utter! And then to my throat! And then I threw up a weird looking tadpole, that looks like a small hideously deformed creature with superhuman strength!"
"Ooh, ooh!" Ed chanted from behind everyone. "That sounds like the one scene in Class of Atomic Junior High! It's when Kristen was infected with toxic waste, which caused her to give birth to a subhumanoid!"
"I don't wanna be a mom yet!" May then bursts into tears, as Ed ran up to her, and hugs her.
"It's ok," Ed started to cry too. "I'll be a good daddy May!" The two they roars with tears.
"Hey Marie," Lee elbows her sister. "I think that weed from last night screwed May's brains. She's hallucinating now!"
"Like she has any brains," Lee then nails her fist again in her head. "Hey May. I need to tell you something."
"Yeah Marie," she sniffs.
"Remember that cheetos that you and Ed took a bite out of?"
"Yeah…"
"Yeah… that was an orange weed you and Ed ate," Marie then forces a grin. "And we think you guys have been high since last night to now."
"So I'm not a mom?"
"Nope."
"So I'm not a dad either," Ed shows Marie his teary eyes.
"Nope."
"YES!" the two of them jumps, as they hug each other even more. "So we've been just high! We were just hallucinating! YAAAAAAY!"
"Well at least they took it well," said Double D to his girlfriend.
"FIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTT!" All of a sudden, the six couples heard some guys screaming near them. Their eyes went straight to the source, seeing people beating each other up. But Ed could not believe who's in that fight.
"SARAH!" He saw his baby sister pouncing onto one of Kevin's goons.
"You leave my boyfriend alone you assholes!" she claws him.
"Hey what are you dorks doing!" Kevin exclaimed. "Hurry up and get fuffy!"
"Stay away from us!" Hailey stood in front of Jimmy with Nazz.
"Out of the way bitches, we want fluffy right now!" Vinnie then was about to land his hands into Hailey's face, until his hands was caught and twisted by Kage.
"Hey Hailey," he snaps the Vinnie's arms. "I got a good reason to kick peoples ass and get away with it." He then proceeds to smashes his fists into Kevin's goons in the face, and break more bones, Steven Seagal Style. While that was happening, Sarah kept fighting back, but till when her former friend grabs her by the neck.
"Hey Sarah!" Kevin laughs sticking a gun in her mouth. "Why don't ya play rough with The Lord!"
"I'M COMING BABY SISTER!" Ed's legs quickly shift into a high gear, and slam his body into Kevin.
"Hey, what the fuck!" Kevin pistol-whips Ed repeatedly in the head. But just when he was going to hit him again, his face met with May's fist. When they collided, Kevin's entire body was thrown into more of his goons.
"Hands off my boyfriend!" She yelled, as Kevin pushes his men aside, pulling out a dagger from his vest. "You ok Big Ed?" May picks her boyfriend up.
"I'm fine sweetie," Ed replied.
"Hey dorky!" The two then raised their eyes. They saw Kevin, up and running, with a huge-ass dagger pointing towards them. But just before his dagger even reaches them, he felt a plastic lunch tray nailing his face.
"I got your back May!" Marie shouted.
"Nice shot," Lee smirked.
"Ed watch out," Eddy pushes his friend's head down and throws his fist into another one of Kevin's acquaintances. Marie joins the rumble as she started punching people in the face and the gut. She eventually caught her eyes on Kage, who was still beating and throwing punks around.
"Hey M&Ms guy!" Kage then looked at her, after smashing a guy's head into a window.
"What?" he countered a punch into a chokehold.
"Quit hogging all the fun! I want more!" Marie socks a dominatrix chick in the jaw. As a response Marie saw a grin from him when he made the kid pass out.
From then the whole cafeteria became a war zone as Sarah, Ed, Eddy, Kage, and the Kanker sisters all battles out against Kevin and his gang, while everyone else just watches. Fists were thrown, people are flying into each other, and bones are being broken. The big brawl seems to last forever, until all of a sudden when Kevin grips onto Ed's neck with one arm and raises a lunch tray with the other.
"HEY STOP!" Kevin and everybody in the cafeteria froze almost immediately, as there eyes met with the Principal's eyes. "Drop that lunch tray, mister!"