Chapter 36: The Trouble with Jimmy

"I need your help with something" Rae said timidly. She wasn't sure about bringing Olivia into this but she knew she couldn't leave Jimmy where he was.

"Anything babe. What is it?" Rae seemed a little scared which concerned Olivia. She had never seen this from her.

"I have to go pick up my brother. I...I need you to come with me?" she said slightly asking.

"Yeah, of course" Rae nodded and turned, moving out of Olivia grasp. She stayed over several times a week so Olivia had cleared out a drawer for her to leave some things there. She opened the drawer and pulled out sweat pants and a hoodie and put them on. Olivia did the same before grabbing her keys and heading out the door with Rae. Rae gave Olivia directions to the house where they'd find Jimmy. She pulled up and put the car in park. This time Jimmy wasn't outside on the front steps. Rae would have to go inside and find him.

"I'll be right back" she said turning to look at Olivia. She put her hand on the door handle and started to open it to get out. Olivia looked at the house and knew immediately that it was a drug hangout. She put her hand on Rae's shoulder to stop her from getting out of the car. "No. I can get him" she said quickly taking her seat belt off. Rae shook her head, "He doesn't know you. He won't leave with you. I have to get him." Rae would've loved more than anything for Olivia to be able to go in and get her brother so she could stay in the car, but she knew she couldn't. She knew Jimmy and he would never leave just because Olivia said she knew Rae. "Well let me come in with you" she suggested. She really didn't feel comfortable with Rae going into that house by herself. "If we both go in your car might be gone when we come back" she said with a little laugh. "It's ok. I'll be fine" she said squeezing Olivia's hand. She took a deep breath and got out of the car. She ran up the front steps and disappeared into the house. "Five minutes", Olivia thought "I'll give her five minutes, then I'm going in after her".

Rae walked further into the house and looked around for Jimmy. There were people all over the place: laying on the floor, huddled in corners, barely holding themselves up against the walls. Rae walked past a prostitute having sex with a john in the corner across from the stairs. The stench was awful and she wanted to find Jimmy and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. She hurried up the stairs and continued to look for her brother. She found him in a back room, laying on a dirty mattress. He was shaking and moaning and Rae could see he was still crying. She went over and kneeled down next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and he jerked away violently causing Rae to flinch away from him.

"Jimmy, it's me" Rae whispered. He turned his head slightly so he could look up at her. When he saw it was her, he tried to sit up but he was too weak. He fell back down on the bed with a soft thud. Rae helped him to sit up and looked him over. He didn't seem physically hurt from what she could see. She helped him to his feet and let him lean on her as she helped him down the stairs and out of the house.

Olivia was sitting in the car counting the minutes until she would be going inside after Araeyah. It had only been four minutes but she decided that was close enough to five. She opened her door and got out of the car. Just as she was heading up to the house, the door opened and Rae came out with a boy leaning against her. He was barely standing and Rae looked like she was struggling to carry his weight. Olivia ran up to help her carry him to the car. Once they got him inside, Olivia went around to start the car and turned up the heat to warm the shivering boy. Rae got in the front seat and sat silently. Olivia reached over and touched her hand, "Are you ok?" she asked softly. Rae turned and looked at Jimmy whose shaking had decreased significantly due to the warmth of the car. She turned back and looked at Olivia, "I just want to get him home" she said quietly. Olivia nodded and pulled away from the house.

Jimmy was laying on the backseat, still moaning. His shivers had completely stopped now that the car had warmed up. "I'm sorry, Rae." he moaned out. Olivia and Rae both heard him but just barely. "Shut up Jimmy" she said rolling her eyes. Olivia just kept quiet and focused on the road. "I'm really sorry" he said again, this time louder. "Who is she?" he asked. "Don't tell my dad" he said weakly. "Shut up Jimmy!" Rae's yelling caught Olivia off guard and she jumped at the sudden increase in volume. Jimmy stopped talking and his moaning subsided. Rae directed Olivia towards her parents house. Once again, they were already in bed when they crept into the house. They quietly got Jimmy to bed, setting him up the same way Rae always did before leaving careful not to make any noise. They walked into Olivia's apartment, undressed, and got into bed. It was nearing one in the morning and they were both very tired. Rae laid down with her head on Olivia's chest. Even though she was tired she couldn't bring herself to fall asleep.

"Is that what you had on Charles? Your brother?" Olivia asked quietly. She wasn't sure if Rae was still awake or not but asked the question on the chance that she was.

"Yeah" she whispered. Olivia soothed her by alternating between stroking her hair and rubbing her back. "When I met Jimmy he was eight. Charles and my mom were working on that study almost twenty four seven. He wasn't used to it, not having someone there. His mom had stayed home with him when he was a kid. Then she got sick and went into the hospital. After she died, Charles acted like he didn't even have a son. He hired a nanny to deal with him. Then when he got together with my mother, he let her go. Jimmy started getting in trouble at school, running away from home, you know, just being a delinquent. He knew it was the only way to get any attention from his father. The only time Charles ever even noticed him was when he felt like Jimmy was embarrassing him." Olivia remembered Rae telling her that being embarrassed was the one thing Charles hated the most. "Then they got married and he calmed down because we actually started acting like a family. It was a nice three years. Jimmy and I got to be kids; do kid stuff" she said with a light laugh. "Then we moved here and Charles went crazy with this new company; more responsibility, more time, more money. My mom was starting her new practice so it was just the two of us again. And Jimmy started getting in trouble again" Olivia continued to rub Rae's back as she talked about how Jimmy's problems started. "Charles and I both knew when he started using. He only hid it from my mom. He really seems to care about what she thinks of him. I had to take care of him because Charles didn't care, not until Jimmy got arrested last summer. Even then all he cared about was how having a junkie for a son made him look. He shipped Jimmy off to a private rehab. He ended up paying a lot of money to have his arrest thrown out just so no one would know about it. Now he's using again" Rae sighed heavily as she thought about how fast Jimmy was spiraling this time. She sat up and looked at Olivia with sadness in her eyes. "I don't know what to Liv. I don't know how to help him. I can't bring his mother back and I can't give him the father that he wants; the father that he needs" she whispered. Olivia sat up and pulled Rae into her. "You've done all you can. There's nothing more you can do for him babe. He has to want to get help" she said. "Anyway, he's not your responsibility. He has a father." Rae pulled away and looked angrily at her.

"Have you been listening to anything I've said? His father doesn't care about him Olivia. My mother is oblivious to anything that isn't said to her outright. She wants to believe that everything in that house is all rainbows and sunshine. I'm all he has. I have to be responsible" Olivia wasn't prepared for Rae's outburst. She was trying to make her feel better not angrier. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just saying that he has more people in his life than just you."

"But he doesn't. He only has me" Rae said sadly. "But I can't take care of him anymore. I just can't do it" she fell against Olivia's chest and breathed heavily trying to control her emotions. She didn't want Olivia to see her so weak but she couldn't help it. Olivia just held her tight and kissed the top of her head. She didn't know what else to say. She wanted to suggest that Rae tell Charles and hope that he'd send him back to rehab but she had a feeling Rae would adamantly object. She just laid down, pulling Rae down with her, and pulled the covers over them. She ran her hands to her hair until she fell asleep.

Olivia woke to Rae having another nightmare. Rae woke in a cold sweat and out of breath. Olivia soothed her, as usual, trying to calm her down. She decided enough was enough. She wanted to know what these nightmares were about. Every time Rae went to help her brother, her nightmares would come back. She wasn't going to let Rae get out of talking about this anymore.

"Babe, you have to talk to me" she said rubbing Rae's back. "Whatever it is, you can't keep avoiding it." Rae took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair. She nervously chewed on the inside of her cheek and decided she couldn't let Olivia keep going through this with her and not know what it was about.

"Last year, a few weeks before Jimmy was arrested, he called me in the middle of the night to come get him. He called his dad but of course, he said no, so I had to go." She looked into the darkness as she talked, unable to meet Olivia's eyes. "When I got there, I called him to come out but he wouldn't answer the phone, so I had to go inside. He was in a room with some other guys and I think they were waiting for me. I guess Jimmy told them that I was coming. He owed them money for drugs that he'd lost or were stolen or something. I don't really know. All I know is they were pissed and they wouldn't let Jimmy leave until he paid them. I told them I didn't have cash but that I could go and get some and come back...but they didn't want money." Olivia's breath caught in her throat when she realized where this story were going. "It happened so fast. They just grabbed me and threw me down. They were on top of me, pulling at my clothes and touching me all over. Jimmy tried to help me but there were three of them and he wasn't strong enough. I yelled at him to leave because I didn't want..." Rae paused when she felt herself getting emotional. She took a deep breath to gather herself before continuing. "I didn't want him to see. So he ran and I kept fighting them as hard as I could but it wasn't working. They ripped my shirt and pulled down my pants. One of them held my hands while the other was on top of me and the third one stood outside the door to make sure no one came in. The one on top of me was distracted. He trying to put on a condom... so I kicked him as hard as I could and I bit the other one so he'd let me go. I got up, pulled up my clothes and ran out of there as fast as I could. The third one was standing right in front of the door so when I came rushing out, I knocked him over. Jimmy and I got in my car and we hauled ass out of there. We never talked about it again" she said finally looking over at Olivia. She saw the look of sympathy Olivia had on her face and she hated it. "Don't look at me like that. I wasn't raped. Nothing happened" she said laying back down with her back to Olivia and pulling the covers over her.

"Honey, you were sexually assaulted. That's not nothing" Olivia said softly. Rae didn't say anything but Olivia couldn't just go back to sleep after what she'd just heard. "Rae" she said touching her hip. Rae moved away from her, "Liv, I don't want to talk about it, ok? It happened. It's over. I just want to forget about it" she said still laying down with her back turned. "Yeah because that's working really well for you. You're on edge and these nightmares just keep getting worse. You're lucky you haven't stressed yourself into a heart attack" she shot back. Rae turned over and looked at her and she regretted her tone seeing the hurt on her face. Rae didn't say anything; she just turned back over and closed her eyes. Olivia didn't know it but that last part was like a dagger in the chest to Rae. Olivia laid down and tried to scoot into to Rae to hold her. "Don't touch me" Rae said angrily, stopping Olivia from putting an arm around her waist. Olivia took a deep breath, "Babe, I'm sorry" she whispered. "I just hate seeing you like this and I know that it won't get better if you don't talk about it." She tried again to hold her girlfriend. "I said don't touch me" she said again. "Araeyah, please. I'm sorry. I...I". Olivia didn't know what to say to calm Rae down. Before she could get anything else out, Rae turned and faced her, "I don't want to talk about it" she said again. Olivia could see that she wasn't going to budge. She gave a sad smile and touched the side of her face, "Ok" she said softly. "Come here." Rae moved into Olivia's embrace and breathed deeply, keeping her emotions in check. Olivia held her tight and caressed her hair until she fell asleep.

The next morning, Rae avoided talking about everything that'd happened the night before. She quickly got ready for school and left early to meet her group to put some final touches on their project. Olivia headed to work not long after Rae left her apartment. They didn't talk at all through out the day but had agreed that morning that they would go out for dinner like Olivia had wanted to the night before. At school Rae ran into Maureen. It was an awkward standoff for a moment, neither one knowing exactly what to say. Finally Rae asked Maureen if she wanted to go to lunch, just the two of them, so they could talk. She agreed so they went to their classes and then met at Rae's car after third lunch bell. They went to the café close by their school for the lunch special. They ordered coffees and each got soup and sandwich. Once they got their food and drinks, they chose a table and sat down.

"So you and Olivia?" Maureen said. It sounded slightly like a question but Rae wasn't sure what she was asking.

"Me and Olivia" she repeated. She didn't know how this conversation was going to go but she hoped it would be better than last night. "Maureen, I really am sorry that I didn't tell you. And I didn't tell Ashley because I think we're better friends. I just...I knew she wouldn't tell anyone that could hurt us."

"And you thought I would? Rae, I'm your friend. I would never do anything to hurt you. I thought you knew that." Maureen sounded slightly hurt that Rae hadn't trusted her enough to share with her.

"I do know that but you weren't shy about how you felt about me pursuing things with Liv. I just wasn't sure that it wouldn't get back to your dad. You know I love you and your family but you also know how your dad can be. I mean you should, you're a lot like him." Rae said. "I am not" Maureen shot back. Rae gave her a sideways glance. "Ok, maybe I am" she said with a laugh. "I just...it's weird for me to think of you too together. Olivia's worked with my dad for a long time. She's practically watched me grow up. She's like a second mom to me. And you, I mean, you're like the best friend I've ever had. It's so...incestuous" she said. Rae laughed and sipped her coffee. "Ok, I get that it's weird for you but...it's great for us. I can talk to her about anything, for hours and hours. We can just talk and laugh and go out or stay in...I mean, it doesn't matter...we just...we work together. I mean, don't get me wrong, we have our problems like any other couple but we're really happy Maureen" Rae was beaming as she talked about Olivia. Maureen had this funny look on her face that completely killed Rae's happy mood. "What? What is that look for?" she asked. "I just...I worry that this won't last as long as you think it will. What happens when she's done with the idea of having a young girlfriend?"

"What are you talking about?" Rae asked confused. "You think she's using me?" Rae hadn't ever considered that Olivia was just using her. "My dad says that's how it happens", Rae rolled her eyes at the mention of Maureen's dad, "Older men like the idea of having a younger woman. It makes them feel younger, more attractive, and whatever. So, they find young, vulnerable girls who are desperate for attention to take advantage of. It can't be much different for women, right?" Maureen asked. "This is Olivia we're talking about. Not just any random woman. She puts people who take advantage of young girls away, she doesn't do it herself. Anyways, I'm not some young, vulnerable girl desperate for attention. I can't believe that's what you think of me." Rae was offended that Maureen thought she wasn't mature enough to make decisions about dating Olivia. "I'm not saying that's who you are. I'm saying..." Rae shook her head," That's what you just said Maureen. That's what you just compared my relationship with Olivia to" she said angrily. "Ok, I'm sorry" Maureen took a deep breath. "Look I'm not gonna lie, I don't like it that you two are together and I definitely don't appreciate that you lied to me about it. And I'm not jealous, either. I mean, not much anyway" Rae shifted a little uncomfortably in her chair. She really didn't know what to do with Maureen's feelings for her. Her words said she wasn't gay but her jealousy told an entirely different story. One thing was for sure, Rae wasn't interested in being her gay experiment. "It weirds me out but if she really makes you happy..." Rae's smile suddenly returned in full force. "She does" she said cutting Maureen off. "She really does" she beamed. "Then I won't say anything" Maureen said smiling back. "But come on, Rae. You two have kept this thing you have for each other secret for over three months now. How much longer do you expect to be able to pull this off?"

"We agreed that we'd keep it under wraps at least until I graduate. College student sounds a lot better than high school student right?" Rae said with a laugh. She moved her shoulders up and down, "We just thought it'd be easier." Maureen nodded her head, "Well, good luck with that" she said. They finished their lunch and headed back to school. The last dismissal bell of the day came quickly, signaling the beginning of their Thanksgiving break.