They didn't see Castiel for another three weeks. They passed their time hunting demons and a couple of vampires, and researching every possible piece of information about angel-bonding. Dean had forced himself not to pray to the angel – which wasn't working out very well. He'd given in after about a week.
Cas, I don't know where you are, but if you could just get your feathery ass down here.. Whatever. I don't care.
Okay, uh, Cas? If you're listening, we could really use some help. Now.
Stop being a fucking dick, and come down to see me! I mean, us. Come on man.
Castiel, Angel of the freakin' Lord, get the fuck down here right now or I swear to God I'll kill you. What, are you deaf? I've been praying to you for days, dude! Where the hell are you?
None of that really worked out the way he'd planned. Cas remained silent, and he only became more desperate. The weird feeling in his gut had now also moved to his chest, and as predicted, it had turned into physical pain. Not so much an ache, but more a throbbing, which would sometimes become worse and sometimes fade into a dull pain. It was severely uncomfortable and he had no idea how to relieve it other than.. well, the impossible.
It was also getting on Sam's nerves. Dean was twitchy and irritable and sometimes just downright miserable, which he would of course take out on Sam, and the younger brother felt that if Dean didn't see Cas soon, he would end up killing them both. And to make matters worse, the research was going awful. They found enough things about angel-bonding, sure, but absolutely nothing about angel-and-human-bonding.
Anyway, they weren't thinking about that right now. Not specifically. It all seemed rather unimportant as Sam was lying face-down on the ground, groaning as he tried to get up, and Dean standing in front of him, quickly being neared by three hungry, angry vampires. As one lunged at him, a pretty female one, he quickly sunk the syringe of dead man's blood into her neck, and she gave a choked gasp before stumbling onto the ground, momentarily weakened.
The other two growled at Dean, and he winked at them.
"Come and get it, ladies," he grinned at the (male) vampires. He glanced back at Sam.
"Sammy, you okay?" he muttered from the corner of his mouth. To be honest, he wasn't sure he was up to this.
"Yeah," he groaned, kicking the other dead vampire off him. "I didn't touch his blood," he added, instantly earning a relieved sigh from his brother.
Sam stood up, his head pounding from where it had been smashed against the wall, and stood next to his brother, knife in hand.
The female vampire stood up again, looking shaken but recovered. They exchanged a look, and Dean gave Sam a tiny nod.
With that, they both rushed forward towards the vamps, Dean chucking a syringe to Sam who immediately sunk it into one of the vampire's necks. Dean tried to decapitate the biggest male, but he gave him a blow to the jaw which sent him reeling. As Sam was fighting the other two, the biggest was nearing the still dazed Dean. He shook himself, ignoring the pounding in his body, and faced the vampire.
The latter lunged towards him, smashing his hand against the wall. Dean gave a gasp as his hand cracked, crumpling up and dropping the knife on the ground.
Now that was just low. Even for a vampire.
The monster smirked at him as the Winchester tried to punch him with the other hand, simply grabbing the fist and squeezing – hard. He gave a cry as the other hand's bones snapped as well.
"Did – didn't your mother ever tell y-you it's rude to play with your food?" he said through gritted teeth.
"I'm going to have some fun with you Winchesters. Vermin, the pair of you. I'll make you suffer before I feast," the vampire growled.
Dean opened his mouth to reply, but he was interrupted by the vampire punching him in the ribs. He heard a faint "Dean!" as he sunk to the ground, pain taking over.
"Hmm, I expected better from a Winchester. From all the things I've heard, you two are impossible to kill. I must say, I'm rather.. disappointed."
Dean was shaking, trying desperately not to make any more sounds of pain. The vampire smirked down at him, before bashing his face against the wall. And again. And again. He faintly registered his brother running towards him but being stabbed in the leg by the female vampire.
"Sammy," he mumbled, his mouth full of blood, dazed worry flooding his mind for a moment before he was picked up – by his neck.
Dean strained to see with all the blood streaming down his forehead into his eyes, and he felt the hard, cold fingers bruise his neck as he tried to breathe. The vampire looked at the blood hungrily, licking his lips.
"Look at you. You're an absolute mess. I don't -" The vampire never got to finish his sentence.
A very, very angry angel appeared behind him, putting his hand on the monster's head and burning him with his powers. He grit his teeth as he watched the vampire sink to the ground – a twisted sort of glee in his eyes. He caught Dean in his arms as the vampire went limp, laying him gently, tenderly, on the ground. Castiel then appeared beside Sam, killing the other two vampires quickly before rushing back to Dean.
He carefully cupped his face with one of his hands, instantly healing the hunter. Dean groaned softly, his eyes still closed as he leaned into Cas' hand, pressing his lips against it and inhaling deeply. Castiel knew what he was going through – he was experiencing the same. The incredible relief and pleasure and delight and pure joy of being near the hunter again.. it was intoxicating. He forced himself to pull away though, ignoring the utter pain of tearing away. He also ignored Dean's horribly, desperately disappointed look as he opened his eyes and stared right at him.
Cas stood, tearing his eyes away from Dean's as he walked over to the other Winchester. Sam was nowhere near as hurt, thankfully, but his leg had a nasty stab wound, making it near impossible to walk, and he had a gash in his face. Cas pressed two fingers against his forehead, healing him.
"Thanks, Cas," Sam breathed, getting up. "Dean, you okay?"
"I'm fine," Dean replied, his tone not revealing anything as he stood up as well.
Sam saw with one glance what was wrong though. His brother's hands were trembling awfully, and his jaw was set, to say the least. Sam felt a pang of pity.
"Dean."
Both the Winchesters looked up, to see a still very angry Cas glaring at Dean.
"How on earth.." He neared the hunter slowly, and Dean hated to admit it but he was feeling the tiniest bit intimidated by the billowing coat and the deep voice and the cold, piercing blue eyes.
"Could you be.." he growled, gripping Dean's shoulders tightly, making him wince with both pain and pleasure.
"So incredibly stupid?!" The angel shoved the hunter against the wall, earning a yell from Sam.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean spluttered.
"This, Dean! You almost got killed!" Cas snarled.
"Dude, we were caught off guard. It's not Dean's fault, they trapped us -"
"Yes, thank you, Sam," Cas said through gritted teeth, his eyes never leaving Dean as he snapped his fingers. Sam disappeared on the spot.
"What the – where the fuck did you zap him to?" Dean asked angrily.
"Back to your hotel room. Listen to me, Dean." He grasped the lapels of Dean's jacket tightly. "You need to be more careful."
Dean took a deep breath. "I was handling it."
"Don't make me punch you," Cas hissed. "He was killing you and you know it."
"Yeah, you know why I'm so fucking weak these days? Why I'm trembling all the fucking time, why I keep becoming so dizzy I can hardly stand, and why I'm in constant freakin' pain? Huh, Cas?"
The angel bowed his head.
"Yeah, you already know. So excuse me if I'm not at my absolute best at the moment," Dean snapped.
Cas swallowed, moving his hands away from Dean before the latter grabbed them and pulled them back.
"Where've you been the last few weeks, huh?" he then asked, his voice shaking a little. "I've been praying to you, Cas."
"I heard," Cas said quietly.
The hunter stared at him in astonishment. "Then.. why the fuck didn't you say anything?! Or show yourself, or whatever?"
"I came when you needed me to, Dean. Don't ask for more than that."
Dean stared into Cas' cold, blue eyes. "You're a fucking dick, Cas, you know that?"
"Yes, so I've heard."
"I needed you before this, you douchebag! I needed you there with me! And you fucking know how I felt, because, according to you, you're feeling the same! How.. how can you.." He shook his head, words failing him.
He still hadn't let go of Cas' hands, something neither of them had noticed. Cas hadn't noticed his fingers threading through Dean's, either.
"When are you going to realise that this isn't what I want? I'm suffering as much as you are."
"Well, it doesn't seem like it."
They stared at each other, and Dean's heart was pounding wildly from finally being near the angel. He leaned forward, pulling Cas towards him by his hands, and he inhaled his scent deeply. He buried his nose into Cas' hair, closing his eyes as pleasure and need rippled through him. Cas was tense, but he didn't try to move away.
"You don't want this, Dean," Cas murmured, hands clenching into fists as Dean's lips brushed the shell of his ear.
"Yeah, I do.. I need it, Cas. I need you," he whispered, pulling the angel as close to him as possible.
"Dean, stop.. it's the bond talking," Cas panted. He bit his lip to stop a moan from escaping when Dean's tongue ran along his jaw.
"God.. God damn it, Cas," the hunter groaned. He stopped, his lips lingering on Cas' neck for a moment before he managed to tear himself away. They both winced at the lack of touch as soon as it happened.
"You're right. It's the bond. I don't want this," Dean breathed, running a hand along his jaw. "Take me to Sam."
Cas gave him a brief nod, touching his forehead. The next moment he was standing next to a very pissed-looking younger Winchester.
"Hey, Cas, what the fuck was that all about-" he began angrily, before being interrupted by Dean.
"Later," he muttered, and Sam glanced at them before nodding.
"So. You never answered my question," Dean then said, his voice cold as he turned away from Cas.
"Which one?" the angel asked, equally cold.
Sam didn't know what to think.
"Where the fuck were you? We could have used some help during a couple of hunts." Dean was standing with his back to Cas, his head bowed as he pretended to look busy and nonchalant. He reached into his pocket, pulling out some coins and decided to play around with these.
"I've been looking for.. help. For ways to end this," Cas answered, his voice emotionless.
That made Dean turn around. "And?"
Castiel looked at him, shaking his head. "Not yet," he said softly.
They looked at each other for a while before Sam cleared his throat. "In the meantime, we'll keep looking here. You'll let us know whenever you find anything, right Cas?"
"Of course. I'll.. I'll be back." With that, Castiel took his leave.
Dean's heart clenched as soon as the angel was gone, and he grit his teeth, preparing himself for another God knew how many weeks of torture. Sam sat next to him, sighing and doing the same.
"Take a shower, Dean. I'll do some more research," Sam said quietly.
The only reason he wanted his older brother to take a shower was because he knew it helped him relax, if only slightly. It was better than nothing. Dean looked at him, giving him a nod before getting up.
Sam hoped the next time they'd see the angel, it would be with information about how to end this bond.
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