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Dean awoke with a gasp. He could feel sweat on his forehead and his hands shook as they grasped the sheets.
"Fuck," he moaned quietly before he could stop himself.
His hand went down to the hard bulge in his pyjama trousers, before he froze, remembering his little brother was in the room with him. Dean growled, getting out of bed as quietly as he could and disappearing into the bathroom.
He came quickly and quietly after a few sharp tugs, leaning heavily against the wall. This was getting out of control. He'd been dreaming about Castiel every night this week, waking up sweaty and panting and incredibly hard.
He assumed it was probably some kind of residue from the bond.
Dean washed his face, staring at himself in the mirror while leaning on the sink. He had huge shadows under his eyes from the lack of sleep. He needed to shave.
He needed to get this damn case sorted out. He and Sam had been working on it for a couple of days. They were 90 percent sure it was vampires, again, they just needed to track them before more people died. God, he fucking hated the dicks.
Gabriel hadn't shown up, despite his words, although Dean had the distinct suspicion that he and Sam had been talking privately.
The thought creeped him out immensely, but he didn't say anything about it since it refrained from Gabriel visiting him as well.
He hadn't seen Castiel once.
A couple of days after Gabriel had broken the bond, they'd checked out of their motel, heading for a different direction when Sam had spotted a case a couple of states over. A couple of calls to Bobby, some newspaper articles, and soon enough they were working again.
And he wasn't thinking of Cas every second of the day. Nope, he definitely wasn't.
Sam had tried to gingerly approach the subject a couple of times, with a careful "So, have you heard from Cas lately?" or "Wow, we haven't seen Cas in a while, right?" Sam was the epitome of subtlety, obviously.
Dean sighed, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. What the fuck was going on? He'd expected to feel so much better after the bond had been broken, like a weight would have been lifted off of his shoulders. All that was happening was he was having frequent sexual dreams about the angel, he was thinking about him all the time and he found himself missing him immensely.
Right. He needed to get out.
He went back into the room, quietly pulled some clothes on, grabbed the car keys and shut the door behind him. He left the motel, then got into the Impala and drove.
The sun was only just coming up, and Dean took a few moments to admire the different shades of red, pink and blue bleeding into the sky.
Sam could say what he wanted about his big brother, but Dean could appreciate nature at the end of the day. He just usually didn't do it in front of others.
He sighed, shaking his head as he drove slowly along a quiet road.
When was this fucking bond thing going to end? He'd thought as soon as it was broken, the effect would be immediate. No more dreams. No more want. No more anything.
Jesus, how wrong he'd been.
Grimacing, Dean put some music on. AC/DC should do the trick.
"She was a fast machine.." he mumbled along, tapping his hands on the steering wheel.
"Knocking me out with those American thighs!" he sang loudly now, really getting into it.
"None of that makes any sense."
Dean let out a yell, swerving off the road and slamming on the brakes. The car screeched to a halt mere inches away from a tree. Dean punched the button to turn the music off.
"FUCK!" he shouted. He turned to his side, glaring furiously at the sheepish looking angel sitting in the passenger seat. "Fucking hell, Cas!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"I almost fucking crashed into that tree! I could have died! Or worse, my baby could have been bashed up!"
"I'm sorry," Cas repeated, looking guilty now.
Dean took deep, steadying breaths, clenching his shaking hands on the steering wheel. After a few moments of Dean trying not to hyperventilate, he broke the silence. "It's okay. It's okay."
After he had gotten over the initial shock of almost dying, he took a good look at Castiel. He looked good. Better than good. Dean couldn't stop the small smile that crept on his lips.
"Hey, Cas."
Cas turned to look at him, a confused frown on his face. His expression smoothed over when he met the hunter's eyes and Dean thought he could see the ghost of an answering smile on the angel's face.
"Hello, Dean."
More silence as they stared at each other, unable to break their gazes away. Dean cleared his throat.
"How've you been?"
Cas looked puzzled by the question. "I've been.." He trailed off, finally looking away.
Dean felt the smile slip from his face. "I've missed you," he blurted out. "We've missed you," he backtracked hastily.
Cas looked at him curiously. He felt those big blue eyes looking into his soul and picking him apart.
"I've missed you too," he said finally. Dean didn't know if he was talking about just him or him and Sam. He didn't have the guts to ask.
It was silent in the car for a while. Dean couldn't tear his eyes away from Cas' lips, remembering how they felt on his own. He shook himself.
"Where've you been, man? It's been ages." It hadn't, really, but it felt like it.
Cas sighed, looking at his hands. "I was in Heaven, trying to resolve the situation slightly."
When he didn't elaborate, Dean raised his eyebrows. "And?"
"And it didn't work. But things are a bit calmer at the moment."
"That's good," Dean offered with a smile.
Cas returned it. "Yes, it is."
More silence. The hunter cleared his throat. This was ridiculous. "Wanna go get some breakfast?"
Cas glanced at him, probably going to tell him that he didn't require food, but to Dean's surprise, he swallowed and nodded.
He started driving, putting his music back on to break the silence. It was weird.
It was even weirder when the two of them were sitting at a booth in an empty diner. It was starting to look too much like a date, in Dean's opinion.
"How is Sam?" Cas asked suddenly.
"He's.. he's good, yeah. He's been hanging around with Gabriel an awful lot lately," Dean said with a slight grimace.
"Yes, Gabriel is growing very fond of Sam," Cas remarked.
"Ugh," Dean said with a shudder. He swore he could see the hint of a smirk tugging at Cas' lips.
"Why does that bother you?" the angel asked innocently.
Dean glared at him. "Why do you think? It's weird, man. I don't like it."
Cas actually laughed now. It was a soft laugh, but it was still a laugh, and Dean knew the rest of his day was made.
The waitress came over, a young, nice looking girl. Dean waited for the automatic attraction for almost anything with tits to come, but it never did. Sure, he could appreciate her appearance – she was definitely one of the hottest women he'd seen in a long time. Long auburn hair, tossed over one shoulder. Plump lips, a ski slope nose and big hazel eyes. Not to mention the ass on her.
But still. He didn't.. feel like it.
"Can I get you anything?" she said with a wide smile.
Dean was about to put on his charming grin, the standard procedure when speaking to the female gender, when he noticed to his annoyance that she wasn't even sparing him a glance. She was too busy staring at Cas – his Cas – to even acknowledge his presence.
The angel looked flustered.
"Uh.."
"He'll have a coffee. Black, two sugars," Dean butted in. He knew that Cas liked coffee, one of the few things he liked about humanity. "I'll have the pancakes. And a black coffee."
The waitress glanced at him, seemingly annoyed, before turning back to Castiel. "Is that all, honey? Is there anything else I can get you?" she said with a wink.
Dean was about to open his mouth to kindly tell her to fuck off, but Cas interrupted him.
"Maybe.. later. Thank you, Kim," he said with a smile.
"All right," she grinned, making a big show of moving her hips as much as possible as she walked away.
The hunter could have sworn the name tag said Kimberly. What the fuck was Cas doing?
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Cas blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Why were you flirting with her?" it came out a lot more aggressive than he'd meant. "I mean.. I thought you didn't care about that stuff?" he backtracked, calmer.
Cas frowned. "I wasn't flirting, I was just being kind. And I don't care about that stuff."
Dean paused. "Wait, what stuff are we talking about?"
The angel rolled his eyes. Dean suppressed a smirk. "Women. Sex, etcetera."
Their eyes met.
"Well, you've been giving her all the wrong messages then," Dean said, not breaking eye contact.
"No I haven't. I don't even know how to flirt," Cas said, starting to get annoyed.
"Okay. She's gonna give you her number along with the bill. What do you owe me then?"
"More importantly, what do I get when she doesn't?" Cas said with a sly glint in his eye.
"A kiss," Dean joked, before realising that he probably shouldn't have. "I mean, uh.. you know. It was a joke."
"I'm aware."
Aaaand back to the awkward silence. God, if this elephant was any bigger Dean thought the universe might just collapse on itself.
Kimberly – Kim – came back with the food then. She stuck her ass in Cas' face as she put down Dean's breakfast before him, and then turned around, putting Cas' coffee in front of him.
"If there's anything else I can do for you, just give me a call," she then said, winking.
Dean waited until she was out of earshot. "Dude, she is so gonna give you her number. Come on, take it from the expert."
Cas pursed his lips. "Even if she does, it doesn't matter. I have no use for it."
"Aw, come on! You should call her," the hunter said before realising what was coming out of his mouth. "I mean, you know.. if you want. If you don't, that's cool," he ended up mumbling.
Well, this wasn't right. Cas had every right to hook up with whomever he wanted. Dean knew that. Then what was this knotted feeling tightening in his chest whenever he thought of Cas with someone else?
"I got all my powers back," Cas said suddenly after taking a sip of his coffee. Dean was grateful for the subject change.
"Really? That's awesome." He started digging into his pancakes.
"Yeah. Apparently the bond was.. draining the little Grace I had from my body."
"It was sucking you dry of your powers?" Dean asked, frowning.
Cas hesitated before nodding.
"Why the fuck didn't you ever tell me?" he snapped.
"What difference would it have made?" the angel snapped back.
Dean cringed, thinking of Cas suffering in silence the entire time, not ever letting on how much it was actually hurting him while Dean couldn't stop complaining about himself. He sighed.
"Look, Cas.. I'm sorry. I was a dick like 90% of the time while you couldn't help it and you were hurting even more than I was," he said quietly.
Cas looked up at him. "It's.. it's fine, Dean. It's in the past. We don't need to worry about it any more."
Jesus, if only that were true.
As they paid for their food, Dean lifted the bill. And, sure enough, a piece of paper was under it, a number scribbled onto it hastily. As they walked out to the parking lot, Dean waved it in front of Cas' face.
The angel gave a lopsided smile, digging his hands into his pockets.
"I told you to always listen to the expert, Cas," Dean said gleefully.
"Can I have it?" Cas asked suddenly.
"What? Why?" the hunter asked, all of his playfulness gone.
"I just.. I don't know. I might call her," Cas said emotionlessly, although there was something off with the tone of his voice.
Dean actually caught himself wanting to reach into his pockets for his lighter to destroy that fucking piece of paper.
"Sure," he said instead, handing it over to Cas.
Their hands brushed, and Dean shivered slightly. "I thought you weren't into that stuff, Cas?"
The angel shrugged. "I'm not. I just wanted to see the look on your face."
Dean froze, staring at him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he exclaimed then.
Cas smirked – actually full-on smirked – and walked towards the car. Dean just stared at him, his mouth agape.
He was fucked.
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