The Road
Lori looks at Carol as they bathe in the stream. Maggie and Beth stand guard, they'll switch when she and Carol have finished bathing. Carol looks happier than she has in a long time. Wiping herself down and then turbaning her wet hair in the towel Lori dresses. She groans as she does up her jeans.
"Fold the waistband over." Carol is suddenly there her hands folding over Lori's waistband. It eases the squeeze.
"Thanks, nice trick." Lori will not ask Rick if they can stop to look for some larger clothes she can wear. She hasn't slept with Rick or spoken to him beyond what's necessary since that first night on the road a few weeks ago. They travel together, Carl hangs with Rick, a newer level of maturity making him seem like a stranger to Lori.
"Ed wouldn't let me get any maternity clothes, I had to make do." Carol answers simply.
"Ed was an arse." Lori answers. She has gotten blunter, become more her sarcastic self with Carol over the last few weeks. A higher level of friendship was growing between them, walls were crumbling.
"That he was, all men can be I figure. And while we're talking men, if you ever want to talk, I can listen. I know I'm not Rick's biggest fan, but I'm a fan of yours so to speak, I'd listen, if you want me to that is." Carol dries off her hair and finishes dressing. They exchange places with Beth and Maggie and watch for them while they bathe.
Lori can hear the men faintly around the bend, they're laughing about something as they bathe too. "Thanks, I appreciate it. But I think maybe we need a break. I'm just sorry it has to be played out like this in front of everyone." Lori says no more. She's been thinking and in thinking she has realised she and Rick don't have anywhere near the same feelings for each other they'd once had. They hadn't for a long time before the infection hit if she was being honest. But Rick was paying attention to Carl now, being there for him as he hadn't been before and Carl was blossoming from it. Lori wouldn't take that away from him.
Rick would be there for her child when it was born, she knew that too. She could live with herself, she needed to, she needed to know who Lori Grimes was without a man to stand in front of her. But God, she wished she had some better fitting clothes.
##########
Daryl laughs sardonically as T splashes Glenn who squeals like a freaking girl. "'S water Chinaman, you ain't a fuckin' cat, get in and clean yourself, smell like a walker." He says as he wades into the water. His shoulders brace as they always do expecting someone to comment on his back, modesty was something they'd all had to give up being on the road this time. Him included.
Diving under Daryl resurfaces and works the bar of soap into his increasingly shaggy hair. Then he watches Glenn as he minces into the cold water as he rinses his hair and soaps and scrubs the rest of his body down. Shaking his head Daryl finishes washing just as Glenn submerges himself. He wades out and shakes himself before tossing the soap to Carl who catches it and wades into the water. Daryl knows full well Carl will be finished and Rick or Herschel will have started bathing before Glenn is even half-finished.
"Maybe we should let the love birds bathe together after all, Maggie might be able to get Glenn to hurry his arse along." He says to T who laughs. Daryl looks at Herschel who merely looks back. Daryl shrugs. They were still finding their feet on the road, only thing they had in common so far was their support of Rick in keeping them alive. They'd work or they wouldn't.
Shivering Daryl dries off and dresses quickly. The nights are downright cold now. He stands guard while the rest of the men bathe, darkness is falling by the time they head back. They meet the women coming back at the same time. Daryl looks at Lori's hair turbaned in a towel and he swears he sees the goose bumps on the back of her neck. He frowns. Was she cold?
As they eat their dinner that evening Daryl surreptitiously watches her. She is cold. Shivering in fact. He watches as Carol takes the towel off her head and then patiently brushes her hair as dry as possible. Then Lori sits by the fire with her back to it letting it dry further. She should have bathed during the day when it was warmer Daryl thought. He glanced at Rick. He should have thought of that.
Over the next few days Daryl watches Lori. She is feeling the cold, a lot. He then watches Rick. He can tell Rick is aware of it but he does nothing. Daryl shakes his head. Fucker, she was pregnant. Didn't fucking matter whose child it was, shouldn't matter whether she and Rick were at odds. The baby was innocent.
A few days later Daryl approaches Lori. "Here, wear this." He drops one of his flannel shirts in front of Lori. "You need it more than me." He doesn't look at her. He's surprised when she just tugs it on without even checking it. It wasn't clean, he'd been wearing it a couple of days before he realised she needed it more than him. He'd finally given up on Rick and decided to take matters into his own hands.
Her pregnancy hadn't slowed her any yet but he'd checked with Carl and she was feeling the cold more than she usually did. He didn't know what the fuck Rick was doing other than ignoring her. Daryl thought if he could help keep her warm that wasn't a bad thing.
"Thanks Popeye." She says to him and he laughs quietly. Their private joke.
"Welcome Miz Olive." He answers as he walks away. He blinks a few minutes later when he sees her holding the collar of his shirt to her cheek, rubbing and sniffing it as she looks around to make sure no one was watching her. Was she sniffing him? Daryl jerks in realisation that Lori might like his smell. Did she like him? Shaking his head he moves off to take his turn at watch.
As the weeks go by Daryl finds himself looking for treats for her more and more. Practical stuff; socks, mittens, scarves. Everything he can find to keep her warm he gives to her. She's slowly getting larger and he's heard Herschel mentioning to Carol that he's worried because Carl had not been a natural birth. And fear grips Daryl's heart. He doesn't question it, merely worries even more.
Rick has finally talked to him, Daryl now knows they're over for now but he hopes that Lori will find happiness again when the baby is born. That it will bring them back together. He ignores the kernel of jealously in his heart. Jealousy that Rick has what he wants. He wasn't husband material anyway. Too ugly, inside and out.
##########
Lori breathes a sigh of relief as she lies down. They're in a tent for tonight, Carol is still outside finishing up their meal preparations. She'd shooed Lori away with an order to rest. Tilting her head Lori looks out the tent window. She can see the tent next to hers. Angled so it's flap is facing her tent window. She's watching it idly when she realises its Daryl's tent. He crouches at the entrance and pushes a tent-peg in further. Lori's eyes drift over him.
He'd lost weight, they all had. But he still looked good, better maybe, though he could do with a haircut. Rolling on her side awkwardly she watches him more intently. She remembers when she'd thought of him with Rick at the CDC. And with a shake of her head she tried to push him away, but he kept returning, even as she thought of him she opened her eyes again and he was still there.
Sitting in front of the tent now, angled to catch the last of the sun as he cleaned his bow. Suddenly he pauses and his eyes look up at her tent window. Lori's heart jerks wondering if he can see her. Cocking his head he stares steadily at the dark gauze window of her tent. Then that smile that she has never seen him give another drifts across his face and he winks. Winks. He did know, somehow he could see her.
"How you doin?" His question is soft, only for her ears.
"Pregnant and cold. You?" Lori returns softly.
"Fine as frogs hair Olive, fine as frogs hair." Lori laughs quietly.
"Last I heard frogs didn't have hair Popeye, you colour-blind or something?" She smiles back and his own grin increases.
"Nope, not at all why'd you ask?"
"Because you must think I'm blonde to believe frogs have hair is all." Lori snickers to herself as she answers Daryl. Score her.
"Would I do that Miz Olive?" He looks down as he runs a damp rag over the stock of his crossbow. Then before Lori can answer his blue eyes have looked up and caught hers again. They laugh quietly together.
"Yes Popeye you damn well would and you know it." Lori snorts as Daryl chokes back a louder laugh. Both of them are talking quietly so they don't attract other's attention.
"I'll take the fifth." Is all Daryl has to say, then he changes the subject. "You warm enough now? Need anything in particular?" He asks Lori, his eyes glance up from his bow and he looks steadily at her.
Pursing her lips Lori looks at him before she rolls her eyes. "Yeah I do need something but I doubt you'll be able to find them." Before Daryl can ask her what exactly she needs Lori answers him anyway. "Long johns. I could really do with some long johns Daryl."
Instead of the laugh or embarrassment she expects Daryl merely nods. "Size?" he asks.
"Uh, small and long. They'll stretch when I do." Lori answers as she looks at him. "You'll look for them for me?" She is surprised. She'd figured long johns would be like feminine hygiene products. Something most men avoided at all costs.
"'S what you need, I'll see what I can do, can't promise anything though." Daryl looks at her as he finishes cleaning his weapon and then he slides his knife off the sheath on his hip. He keeps it angled along the front of his hipbone, not direct on the side as Rick does. Lori wonders suddenly if he did that so it framed his cock. It had always drawn her eye and Andrea had actually been the one to wonder that aloud one day.
"How come you keep it at the front, not the side? Your knife?" She asks out of the blue.
"Shoulder injury. Too far to stretch if it's right on the side, this way I can get it with either hand. Why?" he asks as he takes out a stone and starts to sharpen the blade.
"Andrea wondered one day if you wore it there to frame your cock. Made me wonder." Lori realises what she'd said when Daryl's hands on the whetstone stopped moving and he stilled completely as he looked over at her.
"You look at my dick a lot Olive?" He says after a long pause in which they do nothing but stare at each other.
Lori stares into Daryl's blue eyes, she can see his pupils expanding even as they continue to stare at each other. Thinning her lips Lori gathers herself. Closing her eyes briefly she opens them to see Daryl still looking at her.
"Yes, Popeye, I do. More than I should." Lori watches Daryl closely trying to see a response to her answer but he gives none, merely continuing to look at her. Before Daryl can answer her at all a crash across the clearing distracts both of them. Daryl is up and gone like a shot and Lori scrambles after him. She stands with her handgun in her hand when she gets outside the tent.
It was nothing, T had dropped some pans. Shaking her head Lori retreats to the tent. She rolls on her side away from Daryl's tent. She doesn't hear him return either. What had they just done? More, what had she admitted to Daryl?" That she checked him out certainly. Did he realise it was more than that? That she had genuine feelings for him, had done for a long time? Lori closes her eyes. She can't go there, it would be unfair to Daryl to start something when her life is so much in disarray.
Ignoring the voice that told her Daryl wasn't uninterested and that her life being in disarray had nothing to do with her feelings Lori deliberately blanks her mind and manages to find sleep. If her dreams were populated by a blue-eyed, short-tempered, scruffy man no one knew but her.
When they stop to make camp again the next night Lori notices Daryl pitches his tent next to theirs once more. But he doesn't look at her and she doesn't talk to him.
##########
A few weeks later Lori rolls on her back with a huff. Carol is sleeping beside her but she's still cold. Carol suffered from the cold too. So their attempts to warm each other were abysmal. She gets to her knees and finds herself crawling out of the tent and toward the fire. Suddenly Daryl is there, hands under her arms as he pulls her back and up.
In his arms before she knows where she is Lori can only blink. "Gotta' take care of yourself and the little one Olive, ain't gonna lose you." But he moves her to the fire where he is on watch and he surprises her by settling her down beside him. He's giving off body heat as if he were a furnace. Lori snuggles in. She doesn't think of how it could look. She is too cold.
An arm drapes around her shoulder and pulls her closer, rocking her gently until she drifts to sleep in Daryl's arms. When she wakes he's still holding her and she is as warm as toast. The camp has stirred around them and gone on. No one has woken her. Or Daryl. Lori realises Daryl is asleep too now. Arm around her and head tilted back against the log he'd been resting on. Lori looks up at his face.
Relaxed in sleep she realises how in a different life Daryl Dixon would be considered enviably handsome. She herself had always loved his eyes. Before she realises what she's doing, there in full view of anyone who was watching Lori reaches up and strokes his cheek softly. He stirs under her touch and before he's fully awoken he nuzzles into her touch with a soft groan.
Lori gasps quietly before she can stop herself, heat pools inside her. Heat she hasn't felt for months. Hasn't wanted to feel for months. Heat she feels now for the man who'd given her the best night's sleep she'd had in years if she was being honest with herself as she espoused to try to be these days.
His eyes flew open and their blazing blue stared down at her silently. Lori doesn't move her hand from his cheek. As he looks at her, Lori sees his eyes move to her lips and stay there. Was he going to kiss her? Lori's own lips part in expectation. And then he speaks, his voice croaky and husky in the cold morning air.
"Playing with fire Olive." Lori's fingers stutter on his cheekbone before they fall away.
She pushes herself up slowly and for once Daryl doesn't help her. She doesn't look around to see who has seen them as she shivers in the chill of not having Daryl's body heat beside her anymore.
Daryl watches her walk back to her own tent and kneel before crawling inside. Woman sure had a set of legs. He shifted uncomfortably as his cock agreed. Shaking his head Daryl stands himself, stretching his kinks out he grabs his crossbow and heads off to take his morning leak.
##########
A couple of days later he's setting up his tent when T approaches, "Hey Daryl, Carol's gonna sleep with me tonight since you've kept Lori warm." Daryl jerks at T's words.
"The fuck?" He questions. T looks at him like he's crazy.
"You got a problem with keeping a pregnant woman and her unborn child from freezing their arses off in winter?" He questions Daryl. Daryl frowns at him. He's sure there is something else going on but he doesn't know what.
"The fuck?" He questions again not knowing what else to say.
"Carol asked me to, said that Lori was saying how warm you were when you slept by the fire a few nights ago and that gave her the idea that they'd be warmer if they split up and stayed with us instead." T's explanation made sense, he'd been wondering how to suggest it himself, though he was just gonna have T and Herschel sleep with them. Not him.
"Herschel or Rick?" He asks bluntly.
"Herschel said he has trouble staying warm himself, that's why he and Beth bunk together and Rick…" T trails off and Daryl knows this meant he hadn't asked him.
"Fuck." He mutters quietly to himself. "Yeah, okay then." T slaps him on the shoulder and wanders off grabbing firewood.
And so it begins. Truth is she's less of a pain to sleep with than he thought a woman ever could be. Daryl thought it would have been different if they were sleeping together in their old lives. Though if they were in their old lives they would have never met in the first place. He waits for Rick to mention what they've taken to doing. To have an issue; but he says nothing.
Several mornings later he wakes to find he's wound himself around her like a fucking vine. His hands grasping her, legs entangled. And he's hard. Harder than he's been since this whole fiasco started with the dead rising and Merle going missing. Daryl freezes, he doesn't know whether to move or to lay there and pretend to be asleep until she wakes and moves away. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
While his mind was racing in circles trying to find a way out Lori snuggled further into him by pressing her hips back and before he can help himself his own jerk forward trying to find better purchase. And Lori wakes up as they nudge her. He feels her still completely in his arms and so he stays with his eyes closed, still pretending to be asleep.
Daryl makes sure his breathing is quiet and even and his body is lax. His arm feels Lori's heartbeat quicken and his own matches it. "Oh God." She whispers quietly. She lays there as he does though she thinks he is asleep. And Daryl realises suddenly she doesn't know what to do either. But they can't stay like this.
"'S biological you know, most men wake-up like it. Don't mean anything." His voice is croaky, but only he knows it's croaky from arousal, not his usual morning roughness.
"I know, I um, I uh." Lori stops speaking with a curse and then squirms around in Daryl's arms to face him. Her belly bumps him but he doesn't move back. Only he has to know that its her, not the fact that its morning making him hard. Looking at him from the other side of the pillow they'd taken to sharing she starts to answer him again. "I know its how men wake-up. I can help you with that if you want. It's the least I could do for all that you do for me."
Daryl pushes away from her so fast she is left floundering. "The fuck?" He is furious. "You think I get that shit for you, look out for you because you're pregnant? And that I need payback. No worse than a whore Merle would fuck." Fuck, Daryl suddenly realises what he'd said. He is up and out the door before Lori and say anything or he can make her cry.