Chapter 45: Daddy's Girl

The next day, Rae went back to her apartment. She was really bummed that her long weekend had gone by so fast and more bummed that she didn't get to spend much of it with Olivia. Her job was really getting in the way of their time together. As much as that annoyed Rae, she knew how important Liv's job was and she wanted to be supportive. She just wished that Liv could support her more than what she was able to do. Only time would tell how much of a toll it would take on their relationship. Rae had gotten her homework done and invited Ashley and Maureen over to hang out. Maureen was out to dinner with her family so it ended up being just Ashley and Rae. They were doing really well after their fight about Ashley trying to sabotage her relationship with Olivia. She seemed to be accepting their friend status really well. It was like the fight never happened. They talked about early graduation and what they planned to do after, how things were going with Scott, and Rae's upcoming show. At eight thirty, they said their good byes because Ashley had to meet Scott for dinner. When she opened the door to leave, she ran into Olivia who was just about to knock.

"Olivia, hi" she said smiling.

'Hi Ashley. How are you?" Olivia asked politely. She was becoming less bothered by Rae's friendship with Ashley as their relationship went on. "I'm good. You?"

"Good" she said with a nod. "Is she upset?" Liv asked referring to Rae. Ashley looked confused, not understanding why that would be her next question. "Uh, no. She's fine" she said. "Well, I have to go. I'm meeting my boyfriend for dinner. It was good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too" she said stepping into the apartment as Ashley stepped out and headed for the stairs. Olivia closed and locked the door and headed for Rae's bedroom. She walked in and Rae was changing her bedding. She looked up and saw Olivia standing in her doorway.

"Hey, babe" she said as she continued to fix up her bed. They hadn't talked all day and Olivia was worried that Rae was still angry with her. She could tell from Rae's tone that she wasn't and that made her feel better about showing up without notice. At least now she knew Rae wouldn't kick her out.

"Hey" she said walking over to her girlfriend. Rae stopped what she was doing to turn and kiss Olivia on the lips. "Can you help me with that side?" she said turning back to her bed. Olivia was glad that Rae wasn't upset with her but she found it odd that she was acting like they hadn't argued last night or like they hadn't talked all day. Olivia just nodded and walked around to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheet tight and covering the mattress. As she went to the other end to do the same thing, she started to thinking. When she left Rae last night she was upset. She hadn't talked to her all day, Ashley had been over, and now she was changing her sheets.

"Why are you changing your sheets?" she asked trying to sound casual. She immediately regretted asking the question. Rae looked up at her, "Because they were dirty" she said as if the reason for changing her bedding was obvious. Olivia continued to help her fix up her bed and think about what to say next. Rae could tell that Olivia was thinking about something and she guessed from the question she asked that it had something to do with her and Ashley. "Whatever it is you can just ask me" she said pausing her movements. "It's nothing." She finished her side of the bed and looked up to find Rae staring at her. "Araeyah, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing. If it were nothing, you wouldn't have asked me that question" she said annoyed that Liv was trying to deny what she was insinuating. She still refused to come out and ask Rae what she really wanted to know. "You think I'm changing my bed because I had sex with Ashley and I'm trying to hide it from you" she said not wanting to beat around the bush. Olivia met her eyes but didn't say anything which told Rae that was exactly what Olivia was thinking. Rae rubbed her face with her hands, "Ugh, I hate this" she whispered. She spoke too quietly for Olivia to hear her. "What?" Rae let her hands drop to her hips and she looked Olivia right in the eyes, "I said I hate this. I hate fighting with you. With everything else I have to deal with, it's just...so exhausting and I hate it." Olivia walked over and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, baby. It was a stupid thought. I shouldn't have said anything. I know you wouldn't do that it's just...I knew you were mad at me and you always seem to go to Ashley when we have an argument."

"Because she's my friend, Liv" she said pulling back to look at her. "I told you, Ashley and I will never be together again. I go to her because she was the only one who knew about us. I couldn't go to Maureen or anyone else because you didn't want people to know. And Ashley only found out because I was talking to you when I was with her." She pulled away from Olivia and sat down on her bed. "I invited Maureen over today too but she was going to dinner with her family. I don't..." Olivia sat down next to Rae and held her hand. "It's ok, babe. You don't have to explain anymore. I'm just...I'm being ridiculous and jealous and insecure again. I'm sorry. I know you hate that." She looked into Rae's big, brown eyes and saw a lot of sadness. She hated that she was reason for it being there. She touched the side of her face and leaned down, kissing her sweetly on the lips. She pulled back and looked into Rae's eyes again to see the sadness had slightly faded away.

"I don't hate it. I like that you get jealous. It lets me know that you care. What I don't like is that you get so jealous that you get paranoid about what I'm doing with other people. It makes me feel like you don't trust me" she said laying her head on Olivia's shoulder. Olivia put her arm around Rae, "I'm sorry. I don't want to make you feel that way". She brought her arm from behind and lifted her chin so she was looking right at her. "I do trust you, one hundred percent." Rae smiled and leaned in, giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"I wasn't angry, by the way" she said softly. "I mean I was angry but not with you. I was angry that you didn't want to stay and I was angry with Charles for making you feel like you couldn't. And I didn't talk to Ashley about you; not this time anyway" she said smiling. Olivia smiled back and brought her hand up to touch Rae's hair. "I don't want to fight anymore" she said her smile fading. "I don't either" Olivia said in agreement. She leaned down and kissed her girlfriend again. She ran her tongue along Rae's bottom lip and slid it into her mouth when she parted her lips. She moved her hand to the back of her head and pulled her deeper into their kiss. The need for air forced to them apart and Rae rested her forehead against Olivia's. "I'm hungry", she whined. Olivia laughed and pulled her head away from Rae's.

"Ok. Do you wanna go out or order in?" Rae leaned in and kissed her again. "Neither" she said in between kisses. Olivia looked at her curiously. "I want your pasta" she said kissing her lightly on the lips. "I love your pasta" she said placing another soft kiss on her lips. Olivia smiled, her lips still touching Rae's. "Please" she said slightly begging. She pulled away and bit her bottom lip and batted her eyelashes. Olivia laughed at Rae's antics. She looked up at the ceiling as if she was thinking about her answer before finally agreeing to cook, "But you're helping" she added. They went to a little twenty four hour shop not far from Rae's apartment to pick up the things they needed to make dinner. They went back to Rae's and got started. Olivia went through everything with her from getting the pasta noodles just right to making the sauce. They cooked and talked and laughed; everything was perfect. Once everything was done they sat at the table to eat where they ate and talked and laughed more. Olivia told Rae about how things went with Elliot. Rae could tell that Olivia was disappointed that he hadn't accepted them being together but she was glad that Olivia wasn't allowing it to make her insecure about what they had. They finished dinner, cleaned up everything and went in the living room to sit and talk more.

"What was that book you had?" Olivia asked taking a sip of her wine. Rae looked at her as if she didn't know what she was talking about. "When I came to your parent's house yesterday, you were holding on to a book while you slept. What was it?"

"Oh" she said realizing what book Olivia was talking about. Despite the smile on her face, Olivia could the sadness that came into Rae's eyes. "It was my father's, his Qur'an. He loved that thing; read it all the time. I hadn't looked at it in ten years. I put it away after his funeral and I just...I never wanted to see it again. But after the dinner on Thanksgiving, I took it out of the chest he gave me and I've been reaquainting myself with it."

"Why? I mean, what made you want to take it out again?" Olivia asked. Rae took a sip of her wine before speaking again. "My mother. She talked to me that night after everyone had gone. She said that she worries that I've grown up too fast and that I'm too much like him; like my father. She's right. I am exactly like him. I try very hard to be. He was just so smart and fun and charming and kind and understanding and loving and forgiving. He gave a lot to people and he never asked for anything in return; family, friends, strangers, it didn't matter. And everyone loved him for it and admired him and looked up to him. I remember thinking that I wanted to be just like him when I grew up and...now I am." The sadness that was in her eyes grew as she continued to talk about her father but her smile remained. "Daddy's girl, huh?" Olivia asked smiling. Rae chuckled and shook her head.

"Like you wouldn't believe. My mom informed me that she doesn't think it's such a good thing. She thinks that I give too much to people without getting anything back and that it'll kill me like it killed my father." Olivia didn't understand what Rae meant. Rae talked about her father quite a bit, sharing some of her fondest memories, pictures and gifts, but she never talked about how her father died; just that he'd died when she was eight.

"Tell me about it, about how he died" Olivia was nervous to ask. Obviously there was a reason why Rae never talked about how her father died. But she wanted to understand why her mother had said what she said.

"My father was all about faith. He wanted to learn everything he could about all the ways to get to paradise. He decided that the best way was to be kind, forgiving, and loving; to take care of your fellow man, be your brother's keeper. Those were the things that God wanted to see most from people. So that was what my father did. When people asked him why he did the things he did, he would start talking about God and faith and he'd just go on and on and on" she said laughing. "Made people sorry they asked." Her face fell and she looked down at the glass in her hands.

"Then nine eleven happened and people acted like they forgot who he was. Everything he'd ever done for people didn't matter, he was just another Muslim. He tried to stay strong, you know, to just...keep being the same person he'd always been and doing the same things he'd always done but it didn't work. About a month later, I came home from school and he was sitting in the living room crying. Someone had put a flyer on his car calling him a terrorist and telling him to go back to his country. I'd never seen my father cry before. He died the next day. Heart attack; "stress induced" they said". Olivia remembered back to the night Rae told her about her assault and how angry she'd gotten when she talked about her stressing herself into a heart attack. Her anger made since now. "I think it was the way people treated him. He'd never felt so much hatred before and I think it broke him; broke his heart. After he died, I didn't want anything to do with faith, especially Islam. I don't know, I guess I just thought that if he hadn't been Muslim then people wouldn't have treated him so badly and he'd still be here. Now, I know it had nothing to do with my father or his faith and everything to do with the ignorance of the people around him." She gave Olivia a sad smile and finished her wine before sitting her glass on the table.

"Somehow, I knew right away that I'd have to grow up quickly; that I'd have to take care of my mother the way he always had. So I cried that day and that was it. I haven't cried since. My mother was crying all the time and I guess I just figured we couldn't both fall apart." She looked at Olivia and saw the sympathy on her face. She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, I don't mean to be such a downer" she said hoping to change the subject. Olivia leaned forward and touched the side of Rae's face. Rae relaxed into her touch, "I think it's great that you're like him. I don't think you should change a thing" she said softly. Rae smiled appreciatively before leaning forward and kissing Olivia on the lips. She pulled their lips apart, "Thank you", she whispered before kissing her again. She sat back on the couch and pulled her legs into her. "So, I have a show on Saturday with the band. Are you gonna come?'

"Uh, I'm gonna try but you know..." Rae nodded her head, "Yeah. Work." Olivia could hear the annoyance in Rae's voice. She wanted to tell Rae that she'd definitely be at her show but she didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep. "I'm gonna try my best to there, babe." Rae smiled and nodded her head again. "I know." She got up from the couch and took their wine glasses to the kitchen and sat them in the sink. She walked back over and took Olivia's hand, "Come on. Let's go to bed." Olivia stood up and walked into the bedroom with Rae. They changed their clothes and Rae finished fixing the side of the bed she'd left undone earlier before climbing in and settling down to sleep. Olivia got in bed on the other side and settled down next to Rae. It didn't take long before they both went peacefully to sleep.