*Runs and hides*
Sorry this took so long. I'm betting on everyone still being high off tuesday's episode and hoping that you guys won't be as cranky with me.
jae
Eighteen
Upon arriving home, Tony hadn't wasted much time before he had disappeared out the door, muttering something about Gibbs' as an explanation. Ziva, at a loss of what to do, simply rested with Piper in their bedroom for the remainder of the day.
Tony felt his phone vibrate for what was the fourth time that night. Sighing, he checked it, seeing Ziva's name flash on the screen with her newest message.
Going to bed, be safe.
Glancing at the time, he noted it was well past twenty-two hundred. He clicked the home screen off, pocketing his phone and leaned his head back against the head rest of the driver's seat. He'd gone into work, knowing he'd likely be the only one in the bullpen since they'd taken off for Piper's appointment, and Gibbs and McGee were no doubt out investigating one lead or another. When they had finally arrived back to the bullpen, the tension rolling off of Tony was palpable. Both men were wise enough to not bother the Senior Agent when he was in one of those moods, but both exchanged several glances over the unusually silent and working agent. When it was time to pack up, McGee gave them both a quick nod before shouldering his backpack and hurrying out of the bullpen. Tony stayed determinedly focused on the paperwork in front of him as he felt Gibbs approach his desk. Gibbs murmured a quiet, basement's open, before tapping his desk with his knuckles and heading toward the elevator.
Over an hour later, DiNozzo had found himself parked in front of the house, spending the last twenty minutes contemplating going in. When Ziva's latest text had lit the screen though, his gut churned uncomfortably. With a sigh, he unbuckled his seat belt and exited the car, making his way across the yard.
He blundered down the stairs to the basement, finding Gibbs crouched over his workbench taking measurements. Two mason jars were already set out, one filled with two fingers worth of amber liquid. Tony shuffled over, picking up a sanding block, and grabbed the bourbon-filled jar he assumed was meant for him. He knocked it back easily enough, slamming the jar on the table with more force than necessary and sighed, twirling the block in his hands as he brooded silently.
Gibbs had yet to glance at him, but put down his pencil, making a grab for his glass and filling it warily.
"Anytime, DiNozzo."
Tony bit back the retort that rushed to his tongue, and instead brought the re-filled jar to his mouth and knocked back the burning bourbon. He leveled his gaze then to regard his boss, who's all-knowing look made his gut churn again.
"You knew," DiNozzo realized allowed.
Gibbs sighed, grabbing the amber bottle and poured his own healthy slug of bourbon into a jar, talking as he poured.
"In a manner of speaking. Didn't know you'd be going."
DiNozzo's eyes flashed.
"Well, I'm sorry I didn't give you a memo."
Gibbs took the bite unfazed.
"She's called four times to check on you. Don't you think she's got enough to worry about?"
Guilt flared as heat flushed across his face. He looked contrite for several moments before answering, and Tony's voice rose a few octaves higher with his growing frustration.
"Why is there always another secret with her? Why didn't she tell me; Why didn't you tell me?" He had paced around the basement angrily in his tirade, and Gibbs finally set down his pencil and walked over to place a light hand on his shoulder. Tony flinched instinctively, but relaxed under the touch, his anger dissipating slowly.
"She did it for you, DiNozzo," the older man sighed, turning him around to meet his gaze. "She's been keeping an eye on her for years, making sure nothing happens to her." Gibbs grumbled and lowered his tone, "You don't think she realizes how much it hurt you? You hurt, she hurts. That's what makes you both great partners."
Tony's face remained impassive, but Gibbs could see the fight leaving his face; sadness replacing the anger. Silenced settled between them, and Gibbs pushed him toward the wood waiting to be sanded.
"Work it off. Leave your anger here. Then go home."
DiNozzo twirled the block in his hands pensively once more, then nodded as he set to work.
He let's himself into their darkened apartment as quietly as possible, closing the door and turning the dead bolt until he hears a soft "click". Toeing off his shoes, he sits them by the door and navigates down the hall and toward Piper's bedroom. He peaks in, and smiles softly for what feels like the first time that day at her bundled under the covers, sucking her thumb and breathing deeply. He leaves the door cracked, then heads toward their bedroom.
She's laying in bed, but he can just make out her face, watching him with alert eyes. He unbuttons his shirt, and she remains silent as he sheds it and his belt, crawling into bed with his work pants still on. She remains still, facing the door, and he sighs as he recognizes the signs of her feeling insecure and on the verge of shutting down. He winds his arm around her waist and pulls her to him, and he feels her finally exhale in relief. He buries his face in her curls, breathing in the scent that is so uniquely Ziva and one that's he come to memorize.
He feels her breathing hitch when he grazes his hand along her side.
"I am sorry," she mumbles quietly.
His heart drops and his exhaustion deepens, but he sits up, his hand pressing into her side.
"Ziva, I'm sorry. I messed up today." His eyes are well adjusted to the dark room now, and he doesn't miss the tremble of her chin or the slow tears leaking from her eyes. Gently, he scoops her up with his arm, pulling her to him.
"Ziva, honey, please don't cry. I was way out of line earlier." She's nuzzled under his neck as his arms tighten around her, smoothing up and down her back desperately, trying to comfort her racking sobs. In this state he knows she must have held it in all afternoon for Piper's sake, and his heart drops even more with guilt and his neck grows hot in shame.
"I can only imagine how overwhelmed you are right now." he paused, "But when things like today happen - whenever I feel like I finally understand you, I stumble over something else I didn't know about you. And it just makes me realize there are so many more things I'll probably never know." He swallows hard. "I know there are things you want to forget, and I understand..." Tony trails off, not sure of how to express what he feels; the doubt that's always plagued him under the surface when it's come to his relationship with her. But he remains silent, because he doesn't want to voice his fears either, when he's been trying to calm her of the same fear.
What if she doesn't remember everything?
What if this is it?
The fear gnaws at his stomach as he thinks of everything else he may never know about her; everything she won't remember about him; About them, about Piper.
She's calmed against him now, and he worries if she can hear the increase in his heart rate, the panic that's been threatening to consume his since this whole mess began.
Ziva lifts her head then, focusing her puffy but dry eyes on his. She brings her hand up his arm to rest on his neck, and he leans into the touch.
"I am not sure what more I will remember. Or what will happen from here." She looks at him sternly, her most serious Mossad face in place, "But I cannot deny what I feel when I am with you, or when I see you, or when you touch me." She smiles softly in the way that makes his heart skip a beat, and continues quietly, "What I feel when I am with you is so strong and real, and has been the easiest thing to accept since all of this has happened. It is as easy as breathing."
He smiles at that, and brushes an errant curl behind her ear.
"I'm going to kiss you now," he informs her, smiling. She's laughing when he presses a kiss to her mouth, and quickly she sobers, deepening the kiss. He pulls back without her permission, and her pout makes him laugh aloud.
"I am so sorry, Ziva." He tells her seriously. "Were you and Piper okay today?"
She nods, then pulls him down to lay on the bed again, and he curls himself behind her.
"Yes. She was asking for you, but understood when I said you were to be at the office today. Everything was fine."
He breathes a sigh of relief, and presses a kiss to her curls.
"Everything will be fine."