A/N: I'm a bit pressed for time, so I'm going to make this short and sweet. Like the chapter!

It's weird and lame and whatever and I apologize. I just wrote this cuz I was bored to be honest.

Hope it sums everything up for you or whatever. I might write more because I love it so much so we'll just have to wait and see ;)

Have a lovely day my peeps.

-LetMeBeYourHero

Cas didn't follow the brothers when they left, so they assumed he had angelic business or whatever. They got in the Impala and drove to the closest diner to order breakfast and allow Sam time to fill Dean in on extra boring details he didn't really care about but were still vital to the case somehow.

As long as I get to kill something, Dean reasoned with a smile.

The two began surveying the menu when a bubbly waitress came over and smiled sweetly at Dean, her uniform a size too small for comfort, her hair a shade too blonde for natural, and her makeup a bit too heavy for casual. "What can I start you off today with, sugar?"

"Just some pancakes and coffee." Dean ordered, giving her a brief smile before becoming fascinated with his cell phone. Sam ordered the same thing, and when she walked away, Sam smirked and said, "I think she likes you."

"Yea, it's pretty obvious." Dean looked at her and she looked back at him and winked, swaying her hips in what was supposed to be a flirtatious way. He quickly took his eyes off the horror show and barely refrained from wrinkling his nose in disgust. "I think I'm good man."

Sam raised an eyebrow and glanced back at her. "Seriously? That's like your main source of prey right there. A slutty girl just waiting for you to ravish her senseless."

"First off, never, ever, ever use the word 'ravish' again, or I will disown you as a brother. Secondly, I am not only into women that put out. Sometimes I like a good chase."

Sam laughed, "You definitely drank way too much last night."

"Shut up," Dean muttered, and said nothing when the waitress brought back the food. She clearly expected at least a glance, but he didn't even offer that. She walked off unhappily and Sam gave him an odd look, but Dean had already finished his first cup of coffee. He shook his head before he began eating.

"Aren't you going to put something on that?" Sam asked. "You hate pancakes dry."

Dean had hardly noticed. He looked around on the table, but there was only salt, pepper, ketchup, and honey. Dean glanced at the waitress, about to ask her to bring some syrup, but wasn't feeling up to calling her back and her happy, flirty mood ruin his meal. He just felt so...uncomfortable in her presence. Instead, he reached for the honey.

"...Honey?"

"Are you going to criticize everything I do today?" Dean barked, the tone of his voice telling his brother to shut up and leave him alone.

Sam looked down at his food and continued eating in silence while Dean sighed heavily and poured two packets of honey over his pancakes before digging in. Just as the first bite of honey-covered breakfast passed his lips, he felt a sting in his heart.

Images began flashing before his eyes, like a slide show going fast, but it seemed to have a trend, and that was his angel friend, appearing before him. First they were in a motel room, talking; then outside a different motel, yelling; then in a cornfield, Cas carrying him in his trench coat; and finally, a confrontation, Cas beaten and bruised, ending with an extended picture of them lip-locked.

Dean dropped his fork and it clattered onto his plate, his hand clawing at his chest. He had never felt pain like this before, and that's saying something for the crap he's experienced.

What the hell was that?!

"Dean? Dean are you alright?" Sam asked, worriedly.

Dean shook his head and couldn't make himself talk, but fell out of the booth and stood slowly before he began stumbling towards the door, leaving Sam to scramble to keep up with him and explain everything while also paying for the meal. Dean forced the door open, though the action was excruciating. It was as if his body was allergic to the honey he just had, the ounce or so in that once bite, but it was...compelling him to go somewhere.

And two things were burning in his mind.

Cas. And that kiss.

Dean didn't know if the angel was in trouble or what was giving him his exact location and perfect directions to it along with these odd images he couldn't shake, but his gut was screaming to go to where Cas was, and his gut was usually right.

When he started the car, Sam was running down the street towards him, shouting his name. Dean looked into his rearview mirror to watch him approach, and he apologized mentally to his little brother and drove off, clutching his chest that hurt a little bit less. He drove for what seemed like days, his agony warping the time while also rethinking over and over what he had briefly seen, but it was only a few hours. Dean pulled off the highway and onto a dirt road that he followed until it would go no more. He started clambering through the woods, his hand clutching the skin over his heart, the heart that hurt so insanely bad, almost like an ache that could never be cured.

Finally Dean came across a roaring waterfall, like the one he had pictured all the way there, and he saw Cas standing on the edge of the cliff, peering down into the abyss below, his arms spread out wide, an angel blade clutched tightly in his right palm. He was yelling to the sky in Enochian, but Dean knew what he was going to do. It wasn't hard to figure out.

"Cas...no..." Dean croaked, barely above a whisper, and walked forward with his free hand outstretched, shaking slightly. He felt heavier with every step closer to the angel, and his pain grew ten fold, but whatever spell was trying to keep him away, he wasn't going to let it beat him. Not if Cas was planning something so idiotic.

The roar of the waterfall was almost deafening, but Dean powered through, as he always did. Just as his fingers were inches away from grabbing the angel's trench coat, Cas jumped. Dean, wide-eyed and panicked, jumped after him, and grabbed him tightly, squeezing his eyes shut to wait for the inevitable.

But when a painful smack never came, he peeled his eyes open cautiously, and he was back at the top of the cliff, still clinging to Cas, who stared down at him like he was seeing a ghost.

"Dean?" Cas said slowly, untangling himself from Dean. "How...did you find me?"

"Screw the details, Cas, what the hell were you thinking!" He roared, pushing him away.

Cas' eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I believe my intentions were-"

"Yes, they were crystal clear! But why?! Why were you going to commit angel suicide?" Dean was breathing heavily, staring at his best friend in disbelief, and that picture of Cas carrying him made him add in a more friendly tone, "Especially without saying goodbye first."

Cas sighed and looked off to the side, up, down, anywhere but at Dean. "It didn't matter if I said goodbye or not. I wanted your last memory of me to be one of peace."

"Peace? How the hell is talking about a job in a damn motel room one of peace?!" Dean yelled, his hands balled into fists. He could hardly look at the angel, but he demanded answers, and wasn't going to back down until he got them. "Just tell me why, Cas."

Cas shook his head and met Dean's hard stare. "I can't."

"Why?" He growled.

"Personal reasons," Cas nodded and Dean turned his back on him.

There was a silence that stretched from moments to minutes, and Dean's shoulders slowly began to shake. And the little shaking began to become more violent, and the very distinct sounds of sobs were coming from the Winchester boy.

Castiel didn't know what to do. "I'm...truly sorry, Dean."

Dean whipped around, tears pouring down his cheeks from red and puffy eyes, giving him a look that cut right through Cas' hard physique. "Sorry? That's all you have to say for yourself?! Cas, do you have any idea what you killing yourself would've done to Sam, or Bobby, or...me?!"

Castiel looked down, his lids hanging over his eyes in embarrassment, but didn't answer. He wanted to say things he wished Dean would want to hear, but those things remained locked in the very back of his mind.

"Cas?" The angel still didn't meet his gaze, and Dean had just about had it. He walked over and grabbed his face forcefully, shoving his mouth over Cas'.

Castiel was taken back at first, staring at the boy, whose eyes were shut tightly, so tight it seemed painful. Castiel studied the change in his expression as the kiss continued, from rage and pain to relief and happiness, but still pain. So much pain. And all Castiel wanted to do at that moment was take away Dean's pain. He gently reached up and caressed Dean's face, a soothing gesture he had learned from watching many human lovers, and kissed him back as well as he could manage. If his wings were tangible objects, he would've wrapped them around him to hug him even closer, keep him safe from everything, and to be with Castiel wherever he went, because he certainly never wanted to leave Dean ever again.

But for now, being enveloped in the Winchester's warmth was good enough.

It showed that Dean cared as well. Almost as much as he did.

The two separated for air, and Dean's hands slid down to grasp Cas' trench coat collar tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. Castiel thought this was an odd reaction, and he almost panicked thinking that he had hurt him even more.

Dean managed to choke out, "Don't you dare leave me again, you selfish bastard."

Castiel stared into his dark eyes, and he saw the memories flash in them. He nodded obediently, and Dean hugged him tightly, wrapping his arms completely around the angel. Castiel felt so comforted by this, so incredibly overwhelmed with rejuvenated emotions, that when Dean backed off just slightly, he went in for another kiss. However, this one was hungrier and more lustful, but that didn't stop Dean from obliging happily.

Castiel and Dean walked back to the car in silence. When their eyes met, and the angel no longer saw the pain in Dean's eyes that he had seen before, he finally understood love.