When he didn't get a response he tried the knob. Charles was nervous and anxious. He gently pushed the door open and saw her
asleep on her bed. He hesitated for a moment and thought he should let her rest. Elsie began to stir and Charles walked towards
her . She was mumbling in her sleep. "Not another nightmare." Charles thought sadly to himself. He knelt down on the floor next to
Mrs. Hughes' bed. Gently he pushed the hair on her cheek behind her ear. This touch startled Elsie and she jerked away as she
snapped out of her slumber.
"Charles, what are doing here?" Elsie gasped trying to compose herself. Moving away from his touch. He had scared her.
"I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to startle you." Charles rose from the floor and sat down on the bed facing her. He reached for her
hands to help her settle but she didn't reach out to him. She wanted to. She wanted him to hold her, feeling his arms around her
was exactly what she needed.
"Elsie, what's changed? What's happened?" Charles ran his hand over his face to calm himself. He was finding it difficult to keep
his patients with Elsie.
"When I heard what his lordship had said about maintaining the family's integrity and reputation for lady Mary's sake...I lost
hope for us Charles. I know you care so much for them. I see it in the way you dedicate yourself to them." Tears were forming
again in Elsie's eyes. "I couldn't ask you to leave here for me if we were sacked, this is your home."
"Elsie, Downton is the place we both call home...but it doesn't have to be home forever."
Charles reached for Elsie and pulled her towards him. "I'm sorry Elsie that I failed to show you that you do indeed come first. I
spoke to his lordship about us when you left and told him that I thought it was best for everyone involved if we are honest about
our understanding. I was nervous at first to speak up, I admit that, but I promise you if he was going to give me a difficult go
of it I was ready to leave...with you."
Charles swallowed hard trying to find the words within him to help Elsie understand.
Elsie was sitting there cold, becoming more distant with every passing moment, she didn't return his embrace. She thought if she
kept it together long enough she could make Charles angry enough to leave her. it would be easier that way. Make an easy break of
things. The last thing she wanted was Charles to resent her for making him choose.
Charles was surprised by Elsie's coldness towards him and got up and paced her room slowly looking down at his feet as he spoke.
"Have your feelings changed for me, why are you pushing me away?"
"Charles stop this, you've got my head spinning!" Elsie shouted at Charles. Never making eye contact with him knowing she'd break
because she loved him like she's never loved anyone before. So much so it hurt.
Charles felt her words stab him like a knife. His heart sank to his stomach and an anger was building inside of him. An anger
that was fueled by great sadness. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you to see that I would have followed you anywhere. I didn't need his
lordships blessing Elsie." His words sounding harsh too. Charles sighed loudly as he rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.
He felt like his words were not reaching her. She continued to sit on her bed staring at the headboard.
"If this causes you so much pain then do as you wish. I would never want to see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for
me." Charles made his way to the door and left the room.
It took so much for him to trust again and he was angry. He had been disappointed by opening up his heart to a woman again. Even
the most patient person in the world can only take so much.
Charles went down to the servants hall "Beryl, I'll be back to lock up the house. I need air." He whispered to the cook.
His eyes were red and his nostrils were flared. It was obvious he was distraught. He left before she could respond.
Beryl watched as Charles walked away from her. "What are they doing to each other?" She pondered and throwing her towel down on
the kitchen counter she made her way to Elsie's room determined to shake some sense into that woman.
The knock on the door was a frantic one and Mrs. Hughes' reaction was to answer quickly as she wiped the tears away from her face
with the back of her hand. Beryl was a bit stunned to see Elsie had been crying so much. Her eyes were puffy and red. She didn't
wait to be invited in. She closed the door behind her an with her hand still on the door knob she took a few steady breaths. She
didn't want to sound harsh, "it's not what you say Beryl it's how you say it girl...let her have it...gently..." This is what she
told her self as she turned around and exhaling loudly she let her have it. "He is a good man and he can only take so much Elsie
Hughes!. He could bite his tongue and fake a smile to spare you your feelings because he loves you...but I don't have to.
Whether you like it or not you're going to listen to me."
Elsie tried to explain why she was pushing him away. "I'm afraid he will eventually be unhappy with the choices he's made to be
with me Beryl...I couldn't live with him resenting me."
"Isn't it his choice to make Elsie? I don't see anyone twisting his arm or holding a gun to his head, it looks like he's made his
choice already. He's not a machine Elsie, his heart is aching...for you! Can't you see it you stubborn woman! Don't throw this
away. Trust in each other Elsie. Trust him." She left her friend with those words. Hoping she was able to get through to her.
Beryl's and Charles words reached Elsie this time. She replayed them over and over again. She heard how hurt he was. She had
hurt him with her doubts of his love and of his loyalties. She knew she made a mistake. Elsie felt an ache in her chest. She
loved him so much her heart hurt to know she had upset him. Of course she wants him to be happy. Elsie went in search of Charles.
She finally found him sitting outside near the ruins of the estate. Charles was sitting on a granite step and looking down at the
great house. This house that he now had a love hate relationship with. Part of his life story was written in those walls. Mrs.
Hughes was a main character in that precious story and without her as his love he thought it would be impossible to go on there
anymore.
He heard Elsie approach him and he didn't dare look at her. He was angry and he feared he may say something he would regret. Elsie
sat next to Charles. She reached for his hands in his lap. He was holding the black pouch with the rings in it. Elsie rubbed her
thumbs over his knuckles. A warmth had surged through Charles. "If only she knew the effect she had on me...if only she could look
into my heart she could see how much love I have for her...stop it Charles, stop it...She doesn't care enough about you!" Charles
thought to himself and berated himself. "Just let her go..." Charles pulled his hands away from hers as if her touch had burned
him. Elsie reached again this time whispering "Please don't Charles, please."
Elsie quietly began to speak. Keeping her voice soft and barely a whisper... "We don't know which way to go do we Charles? Will
you be willing to take a second chance on me?" She watched Charles...hoping he would give her some sign. He wouldn't budge. Elsie
felt like she had ruined things for good.
She tried a different approach, "How long do you think you will love me?" Elsie tilted her head to meet Charles' gaze and gave him
the sweetest small smile. She was trying to make things better. He could never stay mad for long. He knew this wasn't easy for her
to do. They sat quietly for a few minutes. Elsie thought it would be best if they were still and quiet while holding each others
warm hands.
He squeezed her hands and placed the pouch in her Palm.
"How long will I love you?" Charles let out the breath he had been holding in and closed his eyes "As long as the stars are above
you...longer by far." He looked down at the pouch in her hand and gestured to Elsie with his head to open it. She slowly pulled
the rings out of the pouch one larger than the other. Elsie's eyes pooled with tears. Charles put the smaller one on her hand and
ran his thumb over it on her finger. Bringing her hand up to his lips he sealed his promise with a kiss.
She placed the larger ring on his ring finger "A perfect fit..." She sighed a sigh of relief.
" Yes Elsie...a perfect fit... He took a long pause before he asked, "Were you going to leave here without me Elsie?"
" I was...I bought a ticket to Scotland today." She saw the pain return to Charles face.
She moved in closer to Charles and he put his arms around her and hugged her tightly to him. "You put your arms around me and I'm
home Charles, I'm home."
"Elsie that's what I've been trying to make you see love...that home is where ever you are, for me."
"I know that, When I was away with Lady Mary I missed you so much. Even during that dreaded event all I kept thinking of was you,
getting home to you." Elsie reached up and placed her palm on his cheek. "When Green said the things he said and did what he did my thoughts stayed focused on you, getting back to you. Its all been such a nightmare Charles and you have been so patient with me. I only want you to be happy" She prayed she was making sense and that he was understanding what was the cause of her behavior. "I don't want you to regret leaving here to be with me."
He kissed the palm of her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. Holding her felt so right.
He turned her to face him and pulled her into his arms. "I know one thing is for certain, Right now at this moment I have never been so happy in love and so afraid to lose you Elsie." He loved the feeling of her in his arms and he never wanted to let go, both wishing they could stay like this forever. "I don't want to waste time thinking of the past nor worrying about the future. One thing is for certain, you can trust that I will always love you." Charles sealed this promise with a kiss.
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Ok I'm done! Thanks to my followers that stuck with me and read and reviewed. I apologize if you have received a couple notifications that I updated. This chapter would not update fully it kept uploading a few sentences. . There was a glitch in the system and only a few sentences posted and I lost my chapter all together. I had to rewrite it again. Please leave reviews and let me know what you think of my first full fan fiction. Happy Valentines day everyone.