Chapter 57: Just Keep Trying
A phone ringing on the night stand woke Maureen from her peaceful sleep. She looked over to see that Rae was still sound asleep and didn't look like she'd be getting up anytime soon. She reached over her and grabbed the phone. She saw two things on the screen: the time, eight twelve, and Olivia's name. She hit the accept button as she got out of bed and went into the living room.
"Hello" she said quietly as to disturb Rae's sleep.
"Ummm hello". Olivia knew immediately that it wasn't Rae that'd answered the phone. Her heart was racing and her palms started sweating. "She's moving on already" she thought to herself. "Umm can I speak to Araeyah?" she asked nervously.
"Relax Liv, it's just me. Maureen" she said hearing the shakiness in her voice. She heard her release a breath and then a soft thud. When she heard an engine turn over she figured Olivia was in her car, most likely on her way to work. "What's up?"
"I want to talk to her, Maureen" she said sadly. "She's still asleep" she said back. Olivia took that to mean she's still asleep and I'm not gonna wake her. "Ok, well...can you tell her that I called?". Maureen heard her own phone ringing in the bedroom, "Uh, yeah sure. I'll tell her. Look Liv, I have to go. I'll try to get her to call you" she said quickly. "Thanks, Maureen". Maureen hung up the phone and went back to the bedroom to get her own. She grabbed it from her pocket and answered. "Hey, mom. What's up?".
"Ummm, what's up is that your father is pretty upset that you didn't come home last night". Maureen walked back out into the living room and sat on the couch. "What? Why? You said it was ok that I stayed with Ashley" she said confused. "I know. He's upset that you always wait until he's at work to ask if you can stay over someone else's house" she said. "That's because he always says no. He still treats me like in twelve, mom. It's ridiculous" she said annoyed. "I know that honey but you need to talk to him. Tell him why you never ask him for anything. I can't keep being the go between for you two". Maureen sighed, "Fine. I'll call him" she said. "Well, not now. He's at work". Maureen rolled her eyes, "Of course he is". Kathy chuckled, "Try him later" she said. "Ok, I will". They said their I love yous and good byes and hung up the phone. Maureen went back into the bedroom and went back to sleep. She woke up a few hours later to knocking on the front door. She got up and went to answer it. Ashley was on the other side holding an overnight bag and a tray with three coffees in it.
"Oh, thank you so much" she said taking the coffee from her and walking to the living room. Ashley came in, shutting and locking the door behind her, and went over to the couch.
"I brought your bag" she said sitting it at Maureen's feet. Maureen took one of the coffees from the tray and took a sip. She hummed as the hot liquid slid down her throat, "Thanks" she said. "You're welcome". Ashley didn't know if she was thanking her for bringing her bag or bringing the coffee but then again, it didn't really matter. "She still asleep?" she asked looking towards the bedroom. Maureen nodded her head and took another sip from her coffee cup. Ashley looked at her watched, "Well it's almost one. We should get her up, make her eat something". Maureen got up and set her coffee on the table then walked over to the kitchen. She opened the frig and looked inside, "Nothing but leftovers in here" she said shutting the door, "We'll have to go out". Ashley walked through the curtain to Rae's bedroom, Maureen not far behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed and Maureen sat on the night stand. She put her hand on Rae's hip and shook her lightly.
"Rae" she said softly. She shook her a little harder and said her name a little louder, "Araeyah". Rae inhaled deeply and turned over on her back, "What?" she asked with her eyes still closed. "Come on, get up". Ashley and Maureen stared at her, waiting for her to open her eyes and make some moves to get out of bed. Her eyes slowly blinked open and movement came shortly after. She sat up against the headboard and looked back and forth between her friends. She cleared her throat," What time is it?". Maureen's position on the nightstand was blocking her view of the clock.
"It's almost one in the afternoon" Maureen answered. "We're hungry and you have nothing in the frig. So get up, shower, get dressed. We're going to lunch" she said getting up from the table. "You can shower first" Rae said laying back down in bed. "Ok, fine but you're not going back to sleep".
"Yeah, not a chance. Come on. I brought coffee". Ashley grabbed her by the arm pulled lightly, coaxing her from under the covers. Rae groaned in frustration and lazily got up from the bed. Maureen went back out to the living room to grab her bag before going into the bathroom to shower. Rae and Ashley sat on the couch and drank their coffee.
"How's your head feel?" Ashley asked. Rae brought her hand up to her head, "Not too bad" she said scratching her hair. "My hair is another story" she said feeling the grimy texture between her fingers. "Is it cold out?". She knew if she watched her hair, depending on the weather, she'd have to blow dry it. "Yeah. It is January". She let out a groan. Blow drying meant big, curly hair but she had to do it. She didn't want to risk getting sick. She'd just have to deal with big hair for the day because she definitely didn't feel like straightening it.
"Shower's all yours" Maureen said as she walked into the living room. Rae took one last sip of her coffee and set it down on the table before getting up and heading to her bedroom. "Oh, ummm, Olivia called you this morning..." Rae stopped just outside the curtain and turned to look at Maureen, "while you were still asleep" she finished. "She sounded really sad, Rae". Araeyah just shrugged her shoulders, "It's her own fault" she said turning to walk into the bedroom. "I know but..." Rae stopped again to listen to Maureen, "I don't know. I just think that you're letting her go a little too easily?" she said slightly asking. "I didn't let her go, Maureen. She left me".
"And now she wants you back" Ashley said jumping into the conversation. "It doesn't work like that" she said angrily. "She can't tell me that kissed someone else, someone she has a history with, and tell me that she wants to be with her and then expect me to come running back to her when she realizes she made a mistake. I'm not something she can just drop off and pick back up whenever she feels like it. If she wants another chance, she's gonna have to earn it".
"Well, how is she supposed to do that if you won't talk to her" Maureen asked. "I spent the first month before we got together chasing her, waiting for her, trying to talk to her even when I knew she didn't want to talk to me. It's her turn now. Last night she said she wouldn't stop trying. I want her to prove it". She disappeared through the curtain and a minute later they heard the shower turn on. Maureen went over and sat next to Ashley on the couch, "Should we tell her?" she asked. She leaned forward and grabbed her unfinished coffee. Ashley looked at her confused, "Tell who what?" she asked gulping down the last of her coffee.
"Tell Olivia what Rae wants for them to get back together" she said clarifying. Ashley shook her head, "No, absolutely not" she said without hesitation. "Well, why not?". Ashley leaned forward and sat her empty coffee cup on the table. "Because one, Rae would be pissed if she found out and two if we tell her it wouldn't be genuine". Maureen looked confused. "If we tell her we'll never know if she kept trying because she knows that what Rae wants or if she kept trying because she really wants Rae back. We have to let her do this on her own" she explained. "If she really loves Araeyah and wants her back then she'll keep her word and she won't stop trying to win her over. Rae's right. She did a lot to get them together. It's Olivia's turn to prove that she'll do just as much to get them back". Maureen nodded her head and drank down the rest of her coffee. They heard the blow dryer going in the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, Rae came out in ripped jeans with white stockings underneath, a long sleeve tie dyed shirt, and white sneakers with big, curly hair and white sunglasses. She draped her bag across her body and grabbed her coffee from the table.
"What?" she asked when she noticed both of her friends were staring at her. They both shook their heads from side to side, "Uh nothing" Ashley said quickly. "Yeah, nothing" Maureen said agreeing. They were both thinking that even sad and hung over, Rae still looked absolutely flawless. Rae grabbed her keys, "Ok" she said under her breath. She turned and walked to the door with her friends in tow and they went out to lunch.
Meanwhile, Olivia was at work and the guys could tell there was something wrong with her. She was unusually quiet and the smile that they'd gotten used to seeing over the past few months was gone. Every once in a while, she would grab her phone and disappear into the bathroom for a minutes. When she'd return to her desk she looked sadder than before she'd left. Rae was still ignoring her phone calls. She'd even called Maureen and Ashley and tried to get them to give her the phone but she wasn't budging. Elliot, Fin and John decided that they'd had enough of her sulking for one day and they would get to the bottom of what was going on. They went to a usual spot for lunch and Elliot decided to be the one to start the conversation.
"Alright Liv, we're listening" he said, "What's going on?" She looked up from her plate and glanced back and forth between the three of them. "Nothing. Nothing's going on" she said sadly. She pushed her food around her plate and gathered a small amount on her fork, trying to force herself to eat something. "Come on. Don't give us that" Fin said, "You've been sulking around the squad room all morning". Olivia glared at him, "I haven't been sulking" she said angrily. "Uh, actually you have" John said chiming in. "You're definitely not the cheery Olivia we've grown accustomed to over the last few months. What's wrong? You and the kid have a fight?" he asked jokingly.
"Don't call her a kid. I hate it when you call her that" she snapped then moments later regretted her tone. She took a deep breath and continued to push her food around her plate. "I'll take that as a yes" he said. "That's what this is about? You and Rae are fighting?" Elliot asked. The tone of his voice told Olivia that he thought that was an insignificant reason for her to be so upset. Fin caught it and jabbed him with his elbow, giving a glare that said get it together. "Uhhh, I'm sorry. What are you fighting about?" he asked in more concerned tone, trying to redeem himself.
"We broke up" she said. Her voice was soft and uneasy but the guys had heard her clear as day. "Whoa" John said. He received the same glare from Fin that he'd given Elliot a moment ago. "What happened?" Fin asked. He seemed to be the only man at the table who could sympathize with her. "It was my fault. I was stupid. I...I made a mistake and now she won't even talk to me" she said sadly. "What kind of mistake? It was that bad that she broke up with you?" Elliot asked curious as to what Olivia could possibly have done. "She didn't break up with me", she said bracing herself for their reaction, "I broke up with her".
"You did what?" they all three said at one time. Olivia dropped her fork in her plate and pushed it away from her. "Why the hell would you do that?" Fin asked. He was the one who'd first noticed that Olivia had feelings for Rae and was the first one to support her in her decision to pursue those feelings. He had her back from the beginning and protested the loudest when she was suspended. When her suspension was lifted she had a chance to have it all: her career, her girl, her friends, everything. He didn't understand how she could just throw it all away. "I told you. I was stupid". He nodded his head, "Damn right you were". This time it was him getting a glare from John and Elliot. "Olivia, there's got to be more to it. I mean, what made just decide to break up with her?" Elliot asked. He was just as confused as Fin was. She'd gone through ridicule and a suspension from work to keep her relationship with Rae just to break up with her. He couldn't understand it but at the same time, he couldn't say was as upset by it as Fin seemed to be.
"Her mother asked me to. Not outright but I knew what she saying" she said. "What? I thought Soraya liked you" John asked. Now he was confused. To him, Soraya seemed content with Rae and Olivia being together. "She did...does. But she thinks that Rae is too young to be settling down".
"Go figure. It's her own fault. If she'd have let her be a kid when she was a kid, she wouldn't be so grown up now" Fin said. Olivia nodded her head, "That's why she felt like she had to ask me to take a step back. She said she stole Rae's childhood and she wanted to do something to try and give it back to her. I guess she thought asking me to get out of the way was that something she needed to do". She took a drink of water and then stared out the window.
"What makes her think that with you out of the way Rae will be a kid again. She wasn't a kid before she met you, she's not gonna be one now. It's too late" Fin said. Elliot was trying to control his body language and hold his tongue but Olivia could tell he wanted to say something. "What?" she asked looking at him. "Uh, nothing" he said taking a drink from his soda. "Come on, Elliot. I know you have something to say so just come out with it" she said not letting him off the hook. "I just...I just I understand what she did, that's all. If I were her and I thought my kid could have a chance at something that they lost, I would do what I thought I had to to try to give it back to them. Especially if it was my fault that they lost it" he explained.
"I understand too, which is why I broke up with her. If there's any chance that Rae could have a break from being so...caught up in everyone else's needs and take care of herself, I want her to have it just as much, if not more, than her mother" Olivia said. Fin shook his head, "Araeyah's been doing this for ten years now. She grew up taking care of everyone around her. It's who she is. You leaving her isn't going to change that". John joined in the conversation, "I gotta agree with Fin on this one" he said simply. "Maybe if you tell her that you were only doing what her mother asked and that you did it for her then she'll change her mind and give you another chance" he suggested. Olivia quickly shook her head from side to side,.
"No. I can't do that. She loves her mother and that could ruin their relationship. I won't tell her that I did this because her mother asked me to. That's just not an option" she said definitively. "Ok. So what are you gonna do?" Elliot asked. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know". She really had no idea what she was going to do. She knew that just had to keep trying until Rae decided to talk to her. She would do whatever she had to do to make this up to her. They finished up their lunch and went back to work.
After work Fin decided that he'd try to do something on Olivia's behalf. After seeing her so happy for the last few months, he couldn't stand to see her moping around. He went over to Rae's apartment and found a guest spot, then went upstairs and knocked on her door.
"Just a second" he heard her yell through the door. A moment later, the door opened and it only to a moment for her smile to fade.
"Well, don't look so excited to see me" he said a little offended by her lack of enthusiasm.
"What are you doing here, Fin?" Nothing he had to say would make her talk to Olivia. "We need to talk" he said stepping into her apartment. "Uh, I'm kinda busy" she said closing the door. He walked over and saw a red headed woman sitting in her living room. There was a bottle of wine on the table and he could smell food cooking in the oven. He turned back to Rae, "Who's that?" he asked nosily. "None of your business" she said folding her arms over her chest. "You're seeing someone else already?" he asked in disbelief. "What do you want, Fin?" Rae asked losing her patience. "I want you to pick up the phone and call Olivia" he said.
"No" she said simply. "Come on, Rae. At least listen to her. I'm tired of seeing her mope around the squad room". Rae shrugged her shoulders, "What do you want me to tell you? It's not my fault" she said. "I know she ended things with you but she knows it was a stupid decision. She's sorry. She wants to tell you she's sorry".
"She already did. Listen, I know she's your friend and you care about her but nothing you say is going to fix this. When we first talked, you told me not to hurt her and I didn't. She hurt me". Rae walked into the kitchen and opened the oven door. She grabbed the oven mittens and pulled a pan of lasagna out and sat it on top of the stove then shut the door back and turned the oven off. "She didn't mean to. She was just trying..." Fin stopped short of finishing his sentence. He couldn't say what he wanted without telling Rae what Olivia said she absolutely didn't want her to know. "She was just trying to what?" Rae asked. Fin shook his head, "Nothing. She made a mistake. It is really big enough for you to just let go of everything you had together?"
"You don't even know what she did, do you?" she asked folding her arms over her chest. Fin paused for a moment to think. He realized that Olivia must not have told them everything. She'd done more than just broke up with Rae because her mother asked her to. "I guess I don't" he finally said. "Maybe you should ask her" she said. She glanced over to the living room at the woman who was waiting for her. "Look Fin, I have company so could you..." she trailed off and pointed towards the door. Fin looked over his shoulder at the woman sitting on Rae's couch. "Yeah, ok". Rae walked him to the door and opened it for him to leave. Once he was gone, Rae went back to the kitchen and brought the food over to the living room. She went back and got two plates and two forks and brought them over to the table.
"I'm really sorry about that Ms. Page" Rae said moving the papers they'd been working on out of the way so they could eat. "Araeyah, what have I told you. I'm not your teacher anymore. I'm your colleague. Call me Simone" she said. "Only if you call me Rae" she said back. She cut the lasagna and put some on both hers and Simone's plates. "Ok" she said laughing. She got up and went to the kitchen and can back with another wine glass. She filled the glass halfway and handed it to Rae. She hesitantly took the glass from her. "Don't look so nervous. You keep wine in your house which tells me that you drink it probably as often as I do. You don't have to change that on my behalf". Rae brought the glass to her lips and took a sip. They ate and talked and then finished grading papers. Simone showed Rae how she came up with her lesson plans and exams and Rae offered to help her whenever she needed. They both had to get up early the next morning so at nine thirty they decided to call it a night. Rae put away the leftovers, took a shower, and then went to bed.