Charlie had them stand while he sat in his office, which had pictures of Jamie and even James and Lily shortly after their wedding.
"Report, both of you."
Jamie went first, and Sakura took queues from him. By the time they were done, Charlie's face had become stony, but it wasn't a cold look either.
"Well, I wasn't expecting this to happen on what should have been a night out. All I can say is...welcome back, both of you. And Jamie, well done on those shots."
Jamie beamed at his grandfather. It was rare to hear praise like that.
"Though I do have one question...where did you get the tranquilizers?" said Charlie to Sakura.
"Ask not what the fourth wall grants, for what it can take away is most dear," said Sakura without hesitating.
"Huh?" said Charlie.
"When an author or character breaks the unofficial 'fourth wall', that means they are talking to the world outside the story. It's common in fanfiction," explained Jamie.
Sakura nodded emphatically.
"In other words you can't say right?" asked Charlie rubbing his temple. He could feel the migraine already.
The two nodded in unison.
"Forget it. Go get some sleep you two," said Charlie tiredly.
They had been up all night avoiding the Aurors, because Jamie couldn't lie very well to people in authority.
About the only exception was Dumbledore, and that was because Charlie quite loudly claimed he wasn't an authority figure worth respecting.
Anyone who believes that only non-lethal force should be used during times of war was an idiot, in his opinion. It was like Dumbledore spat on all the sacrifices of those who died in war just because he was squeamish about killing others.
The twins were howling with laughter when they learned from Jamie who it was that shot a tranquilizer in Lucius Malfoy's ass after the game. Thanks to the bets they had with Sakura, they had more money to invest in their dream of a new joke shop.
Jamie offered to be their silent partner, and when they approached the cheerful author Sakura later, she became their second investor.
The fact was that she was moving back to Britain to annoy Malfoy, who couldn't stand the sight of her.
Sirius, when he heard of her plan through Jamie, offered to let her buy his family's ancestral home so long as she promised not to use the dark artifacts inside.
Instead she did him one better...she contacted the goblins about either breaking the curses or destroying the artifacts completely. The books she kept, as she was a known bibliophile.
That and one blasting curse later resulted in a new doorway and the annoying as hell painting removed from the house.
Considering the house also came with a deranged house elf, she opted to trade one of the Malfoy elves for Kreacher, seeing as how he didn't know much about Sakura or anything incriminating.
Dobby was quite pleased to work as Sakura's new elf, and Kreacher was much happier with Narcissa. Because of the fact Dobby couldn't actively try to remove Jamie, he had been stuck with the Malfoys all this time.
"So Jamie, what's this we hear about you following that author lady around like a puppy?" asked Fred.
"Who told you that?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Charlie did," said George.
"Seemed to think it quite amusing to be honest," said Fred.
Most of the Weaslys considered Jamie and Charlie to be family, especially since Charlie offered to help them pay for school expenses in exchange for them having the kids help around the base.
Weaslys hated charity, so it was a compromise Molly and Arthur could live with.
"Guys, if you intend to crow about me finally 'becoming a man', then I will have no choice but to tie you up and force you to experience something so traumatizing that you will want someone to obliviate the memory from you," said Jamie flatly.
He still couldn't believe Sakura forced him to watch those movies.
"And what pray tell would that involve?" asked Fred amused.
"Believe me when I say you would be better off knowing," said Jamie with a grimace.
Sakura had introduced him to some movies from her house in America, and Jamie had come out of it very traumatized.
He may tolerate Snape to a point, but the idea of a body double would disturb most teenagers, especially when it was a disliked teacher.
An hour into their light hazing over the fact his hormones had finally kicked in, Jamie swore to make them suffer what he had suffered.
Jamie was eager to see the new DADA teacher, as he had heard only good things about Alastor Moody from Charlie. Apparently Moody was one of the few who didn't fall for that pacifist crap Dumbledore spewed out during the war.
So when he first say the war hero, his initial assessment was disappointment...followed by reasonable suspicion.
Charlie said that Moody lost his leg years ago. So why on earth did he walk like one of the newer veterans who had just lost a limb? After three years working with them, he could spot the difference right off, and some of the veterans found it soothing to talk to a youngster who was interested in their story and wanted to learn from their mistakes.
Some of the younger vets who recently lost a limb found it therapeutic to talk to the older ones who knew exactly what they were going through.
"What's eating you Jamie?" asked Susan. She was a part-time member of the Otaku club, and she usually gave them heads up in case her aunt was coming to visit. In exchange they kept her out of anything her aunt would legally be forced to come and put a stop to.
"Moody lost his leg years ago right?"
"About ten at least, why?" asked Hannah.
"So why exactly is he walking like someone with a new prosthetic?"
"How can you tell?" asked Justin.
"There are at least a hundred people back at the base that use them. After a while you can tell if someone recently got a new one or lost a limb within the last year or so. From what I can see, his leg is fairly worn in, meaning he's had it for a while and should be used to it by now. But look at the slight limp," said Jamie.
Several Puffs turned and observed Moody's behavior and physical signs. Jamie was right, there was something wrong with Moody. He kept moving his fake leg as if he hadn't had one before and still felt the phantom limb. He did the bare minimum of acting like a former soldier, but it was clearly faked. And Susan noted that he took a swig from his flask at least once an hour, and the dinner lasted for three.
Which meant that Moody was either being impersonated with polyjuice, or someone had him under control.
"Jamie, do you have an owl I can borrow later?" asked Susan seriously.
"Someone got me a new Snowy owl for my birthday so I could keep in contact," said Jamie offhand.
"Who?"
Jamie blushed and refused to say.
"It's a girl isn't it?" said Justin knowingly. His dad had given him the talk last year.
Jamie refused to talk, but the jibing his dorm mates gave him only increased the number of people he was going to hogtie and force through a movie marathon.
Sakura had given them the spell to allow a DVD player to run on magic, but said that they should continue to work on it so they could add other tech to the list.
Amelia Bones looked up to see a beautiful snow owl with a letter in it's claws. She could tell from the handwriting it was from Susan, though it concerned her that her niece would write almost immediately after the feast.
The second she read the contents, however, her worry quickly turned to rage.
Someone impersonating Moody and infiltrating the school? Heads would roll, starting with Dumbledore for not noticing something was wrong!
Two days into the year, Amelia Bones and three full groups of Aurors and Hit Wizards stormed the school. Dumbledore was caught off guard and was having a bit of a lie in, so he didn't know about their presence until much too late.
"Amelia, what is the meaning of this?" asked McGonagall.
"I got a letter from my niece right after I sent her back to the school about Moody. According to her Alastor is either an imposter or has been brainwashed."
"What proof do you have?" asked Snape.
"Jamie Potter noticed Moody wasn't acting right and as they watched they could tell several signs that something was off. They also said that Moody drank from a flask on his hip once an hour on the hour during the feast."
"Polyjuice," said Snape, getting the connection immediately.
"If they're right, then we're protecting the students from a fake or a brainwashed ex-Auror. If they're wrong, then they're merely exercising some of that Constant Vigilance he's always going on about. Either way, it's better to check."
"I'll get some truth serum. I keep it in my stores in case of students doing something highly illegal, or to confirm cases of abuse," said Snape.
Technically he shouldn't even have it, but he doubted Bones would talk about it as long as he volunteered it and gave a good excuse for why he had brewed some.
Amelia nodded to Snape, as the reasons he gave were more than enough for her to overlook his possession of a controlled substance.
'Moody' looked very surprised when Amelia stormed into his class with several Aurors. He continued to keep up his charade right up to the point Snape handed her a very familiar potion.
Realizing the jig was up, he started cursing them. Beams of green flew across the room, and one Auror was killed by the curse.
He might have continued firing...except there was a sound of something being fired and suddenly he couldn't see. Two more shots and his fake leg slipped out from under him.
Unlike the real Moody, the fake didn't know that the odd sleeve the man had on his leg was to keep it in place. It was something Charlie had introduced him to, as the real Moody had been using sticking charms up until that point.
The fake slipped and fell to the ground, and was too far from his desk to lean against it, not to mention it would be harder to aim his wand.
Amelia's furious scowl as she had him bound to a chair was terrifying for some of the younger Aurors...but they went past it out of anger that one of their own had fallen to this fake.
Ten minutes later, the polyjuice wore off revealing a man that by all rights should have been dead. Barty Crouch Jr.
Once they had him in custody, the Aurors searched the room and found the real Moody alive and in his own trunk. He was dehydrated and starving, but very much aware of what had happened.
Amelia met with Jamie Potter, who had shot the paintballs at the fake and had given them their chance to apprehend the man.
"Good aim," she said.
"I'm a regular at the game. I saw what was happening and brought my gun to help out," he admitted.
"I suppose I have you to thank for alerting us this quickly to the imposter."
"He chose the wrong person to fake. It was just his bad luck that I know what an amputee looks like with a fake limb, and that his movements were all wrong. I would be dishonoring my family name if I hadn't done something to protect my fellow students," said Jamie.
Amelia looked pleased with his words, because she put a hand on his shoulder.
"You'll grow into a fine young man Mr. Potter, and don't let anyone tell you different. If only more of Slytherin could be the same," she said.
She left after chatting with Susan, who decided that instead of pursing a romantic relationship with Jamie that she would take a more active role in the club and be a better friend to him.
A week later and the real Moody was released from the hospital wing. Poppy had been all over him after she heard the news.
The first thing he did was call in Jamie Potter for his role in revealing the fake.
"At ease laddie. I heard from Amelia about how you exposed that rat and protected the students."
"I help out with my grandfather on the base, and there are at least a hundred amputees working there. I knew something was wrong by the way he walked and acted with his leg," admitted Jamie.
"Aye, and you were more observant than even Albus was. Makes me glad that at least one of these bloody children practices Constant Vigilance. Which is why I have an offer for you. How would you like to be my assistant for the year?" asked Moody.
"How so?" asked Jamie.
"You'll be exempt from most of the paper homework, and you'll help me grade papers. You'll also be helping me with security for this bloody tournament, and as an assistant you'll automatically be protected in case someone tries to force you into it against your will. One of the original rules that was never taken out was that a student can't act as security and participate at the same time."
"And the fact I can rope in my club to help is just a bonus?"
"Club?" asked Moody.
"How loyal are you to the Ministry or Dumbledore?" asked Jamie.
"Can't stand the Ministry and Dumbledore screwed up one too many times during the war. If push came to shove, I would side with your granddad at the first chance I had," admitted Moody.
"Good. I can clear you for next week then. Our first meeting of the year is on Friday," said Jamie.
Jamie was dressed as Dark Mousy from D.N. Angel , a series Sakura had wholeheartedly recommended for him. The fact they had recently found a way to make working wings was just a bonus.
"Everyone, I know you're all wondering why Professor Moody is here. The honest answer is that he's more loyal to our cause than Dumbledore or the Ministry. And I was hoping some of you would be willing to work security around the cup to insure nothing happens to our fellow students."
"Alastor Moody is a former Auror...and a conniving son-of-a-bitch, if you'll pardon my language, when it comes to fighting with magic. He could be of great help towards some of our more offensive projects if given the chance," said Flitwick. Moody shot him a grin at the unbiased description.
While the cosplayers discussed who would do what in terms of security, Moody went over to Flitwick.
"This is that secret club you mentioned during the war, isn't it?"
"Yes. It has evolved slightly, but the original concept has remained the same. Spell research done by students to advance what we know of magic under the disguise of children reenacting their favorite series. Quite a Slytherin concept, and it was originally created by a Ravenclaw," said Flitwick smugly.
"I heard that crazy bitch was back in Europe."
"Sakura has bought the old Black ancestral home from Lord Black and is making a base of operations in the event the war restarts. According to her, it's only a matter of time before Voldemort returns."
"Knowing Narcissa, she may jump ship and hide with her," said Moody knowing. Those two were thick as thieves back when the girl was a fifth year and Narcissa was an second year. She even got along with Bellatrix Lestrange before she turned into a complete bitch.
And anyone with a pair of eyes knew that Narcissa barely tolerated Lucius and only cared for Draco because he was her only son.