Description: New Dawson's Creek story that I have been working on. Its based before the shows high school graduation but post Joey and Pacey's break up at prom.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the original story.
Authors Note: if this story receives reviews I will update it regularly.
Consequences and Actions:
Chapter #12
(That evening; Pacey's pov)
" Penny for your thoughts Jo?", I question laying down beside Joey. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I bury my face into the hollow of her neck. It feels amazing to be able to have Joey in my arms right now. I forgot how soft and silky to the touch she is. All I want to do is kiss Potter senseless. The only thing holding me back from doing so is that she might not want me to. If only I knew what she was thinking? Does Joey miss me as much as I do her? Does she still love me?
" Currently? I'm thinking that your finger tips are warm and tickling my stomach.", answers Joey trying to hold back a sleepy yawn. With a shrug of my shoulders, I only offer a sheepish smirk. I let my fingertips roaming the skin of Joey's stomach. Never did I think that she could be even more beautiful than she is tonight. Knowing Joey is carrying my child, only succeeded in making my love for her grow. Does she know that I would do just about anything for her?
"….I just wanted to feel the baby.", I confess before my lips meet Joey's neck. It is really difficult to keep my hands off of her. I never was able to control myself around her when we were together. What I wouldn't do to be with Joey and drive her as insane as she makes me. This isn't a possibility though sadly. We're not a couple anymore; I'm not even sure what the hell we are. Joey has allowed me to hold and kiss her, but that doesn't mean she's forgiven me. She'll only let me take things so far before turning away from me. It is killing me not to be able to have her.
" Sorry to disappoint you Pace, but you won't feel anything. I'm only four weeks, the little guy is only barely the size of a pea.", acknowledges Joey with a shake of her head and a chuckle. Little guy? Isn't it too early to know if we're having a boy or girl? Is Joey secretly hoping we will have a boy? I would have figured that she would want a baby girl. If she is hoping for a boy does that mean Joey is warming up to the idea of becoming a mother? This is great! When she first found out, she was horrified at the mere thought. Maybe now that she has had time to let things resonate Joey is finally realizing that this isn't the worst thing ever.
Pressing my lips to Joey's stomach gently, I lay my head on her chest and listen to her heart beat,"….Is that your way of saying you hope it is a boy?"
With a small shrug of her shoulders, Joey stares up at the ceiling," I don't know….maybe. God help me if he turns out to be a smart ass like you though Witter."
" Aww, thanks Potter.", I tease with a light hug. What would be so wrong if the little tike was a chip off the old shoulder? I'm a fairly handsome guy. I think if he turned out to be even the least bit like me, we would be lucky. Sure I can be a wise mouth, but I stand up for what I know is right and believe in too. This might have gotten me into more than a little trouble along the way but it was well worth it. Joey forgets that if it weren't for me, Caulfield would have gotten away with vandalizing her mural. Did I go about things the wrong way and nearly get suspended? Yes, but he was punished and expelled for his prank thanks to me.
" Not a compliment Witter.", taunts Joey with a laugh and roll of her eyes. Who is she trying to fool? My lovable goofball antics are part of the reason she feel for me. I guess there is a part of me that has always wanted Joey. Even when we were kids, I could have spent hours chasing her around the yard and never tire. The first time that I knew was certain that there was a chase I had feelings more than friendly for Potter was that time we had to do that snail project together. I had somehow gotten the idea that putting a carnivorous snail in with our two would somehow spice things up. Obviously at the time I hadn't known the snail was carnivorous. We came to check on them the next day only to find two of them dead. Joey flipped on me. We had to row out into the marsh and search for more snails. Joey was livid. To make things worse someone, not me, forgot to tie the boat down and it drifted down the creek. ….Fine, so it was me. By the time we found two snails and got back to my truck, we were both soaked to the bone. Potter and I had to change into blankets to keep from getting pneumonia. That is when I saw Joey for the first time. It might have only been a glimpse of her bare back but it was enough to catch my attention. From that day on I slowly felt my feelings develop more and more for Joey.
" …Are you upset Dawson reacted the way that he did and took off?", I pry after a minute or so of silence. I'm treading on thin ice I know, but I couldn't help myself. I need to know what is going through Joey's mind. She might have turned Dawson away when he asked her back, but that isn't to say that she doesn't still care about him. Does she only see him as a friend or could Joey still hold a place for him in her heart as something more?
" No, I know he will get over it eventually if my friendship means anything to him.", answers Joey without hesitation. Wow, I did not expect her to say this. Could she really only see Dawson as a friend and nothing else? What the hell was I so jealous of him for? Jesus, did I end things with Joey for nothing? Damn, I must have been some kind of an idiot. What the hell was I thinking? Joey and I should still be together but we're not and it is my entire fault. She was never going to leave me for Dawson. Why would she? Joey is head over heels for me! …Or at least she was before I went and ruined everything. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
Scratching at the back of my neck, after a minute or so of silence I quietly ask," What about us?"
Turning her back to me, Joey closes her eyes as a few stray tears fall," There is no us, Pace. You gave up on that. Remember?"
" No, I know. You have made that perfectly clear. …I just…well is there a chance we will ever be friends again at least Joey?", I whisper with my head lowered. If anything I would like that much for the two of us. My chances of Joey ever forgiving me are pretty much slim to none. But where does that leave our friendship? What about today? Was it only a fluke? Did Joey only allow me to comfort her because she needed someone who would understand? Did those kisses we shared earlier mean absolutely nothing to her? Part of me wants to think that they didn't, but I know better.
" No, I don't know if it is possible Pacey. You really broke my heart.", replies Joey in a tone quitter than mine. Her words cut me to the core. Does she mean that or is it just the hurt talking? I knew that I caused Joey pain and heart ache. Was it so great that she would actually end a lifelong friendship over it though? I can only hope that she didn't mean any of what she just said. I can't imagine not having Joey in my life. I…I love her. If she meant any of what she just said, I royally screwed things up and big time.
" I know that I did and it is something that I will always regret Joey.", I implore as I take her hand in mine. Taking a risk, I search Joey's tear filled eyes. In them I find hurt, betrayal, sadness and heart ache. Not knowing what else to do, I carefully kiss away her tears. Tensing when Joey touches a chest to my chest to stop me, I regard her with a wounded expression. She is hurting and there is nothing that I can do to ease her suffering. I'm the one who caused Joey to cry. I let her go and I regret it every single day.
" Not as much as I will, I really loved you Pacey J. Witter.", confesses Joey before swiping bitterly at her eyes. Loved.….she said loved and not love. Was it a mere slip up or did Joey mean it? Could I have messed up that badly? Did I force Joey to fall out of love with me? Why, why did I see Dawson as such a damn threat? For God sake, Joey chose me! What more did I need for her to do to convince me that I was the only one that she wanted? Why couldn't I have simply taken her word? If I weren't so damn insecure about how Joey felt or didn't feel about Dawson we would still be together! Our break up is my entire fault!