Closer To The Edge
Chapter 1: The Move
I sighed and ducked my head as I stepped off the plane; I didn't want anyone to be able to see my face clearly. I always hid myself from people nowadays; it was a result of what I'd been through these last years. I wore plain black clothes – black jeans, a black T-shirt, a black baseball cap and a black hoodie pulled over it. I felt comfortable in these clothes, as if the darkness of them could hide me from viewing eyes. That wasn't the case, off course, but it was the thought alone that helped me.
I used to be much different from how I was now. I used to dress and act completely different, but that was then and this was now. Now I dressed in dark, plain clothes – nothing that would draw much attention to me. Before, I used to love colors in my outfits. Before, I was outgoing, outspoken and generally had lots of friends and was friendly to everyone. Now, I was quiet, always trying to make myself invisible. I didn't speak much to anyone anymore and I had no friends; I didn't trust anyone except for my parents and Phill.
It was only three years ago that I was the perfect picture of a happy, young girl. My life was everything I could've wished for; it was perfect. But then everything changed – my entire life was thrown upside down.
Now I was barely a shade of my former self. I didn't smile anymore. I wasn't happy. I was constantly afraid, forever looking over my shoulder. I didn't sleep much and when I did it was filled with nightmares. I ate to survive, but I didn't enjoy it and sometimes I had trouble keeping it down. I'd become a nervous wreck.
And that was the reason I was now moving, well, one of the reasons at least. My mother thought I'd be safer in Forks, because it was smaller than Phoenix. She thought I'd feel safer, even though that was an impossibility. But I let her believe she was right – at least it made one of us feel better, and I figured I owed this to her; I'd put her through enough already.
So here I was, in the Seattle airport waiting for Charlie, my dad, to come pick me up. I'd have to keep a good watch out for him; I doubted he'd recognize me dressed like this. It'd been a while since I'd seen him in person.
"Charlie!" I called out when I saw him, my voice slightly hoarse from the lack of use. Charlie's face brightened when he saw me, but I could also see in his eyes how worried he was.
"It's good to see you, Bells. How've you been?" Charlie said once he'd reached me. Charlie was normally an exceptionally quiet person, much like I'd become, so I knew he must be thrilled to have me here now.
"I'm fine, dad," was my response.
We headed outside to his car and started the long, silent drive to Forks. I was glad he wasn't asking me too many questions; I was not in the mood to answer any. When we got to the house I was surprised to see an old, red Chevy truck standing in the driveway, and even more surprised when Charlie informed me that it was mine. I thanked him profusely before heading up to my bedroom to get some much needed peace and alone time.
I dreaded starting school tomorrow – I didn't relate well to people my age… or people in general, actually. They couldn't understand me, not with what I'd been through and I just couldn't muster up the energy to talk to them like I used to do. I much preferred my solitude.
It was raining when I arrived at the school; I would've thought it was a bad omen if I hadn't known Forks was the most rainy state in the US. I parked my truck next to a shiny, silver Volvo – apparently the only nice car in the lot – and headed over to the administration building to get my papers. The entire procedure went by swiftly and I was soon on my way to my first class of the day – English.
I hadn't even arrived at my first class when a pimpled-face boy appeared next to me, startling me so much I almost scream. I hated being sneaked up on – you never knew who did the sneaking.
"Hi, you're Isabella Swan, right?" He said, smiling a boyish, crooked smile.
"Bella," I corrected, trying to move past him to enter the class, but he kept blocking my path.
"I'm Eric," he said." So…, I was wondering if I could escort you to the rest of your classes today. You know, show you the ropes," he started to ramble, so I held up my hand to stop him.
"Thanks, but I'm fine. I'd rather be left alone. I'm not looking to make friends here," I said in a stern and slightly holier-than-thou tone of voice. These people needed to stay away from me; it wasn't safe. I wasn't safe.
The boy looked crestfallen, but said nothing and finally let me pass. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him going over to a small group of people – he was probably telling them what a bitch I was and to stay away from me. Good, let them think that.
As it was, the rest of the morning past in a daze. No one else approached me; I guessed I had pimple-faced Eric to thank for that.
When lunch came I went to the cafeteria to buy a soda and an apple and then went to my truck. I figured I'd be more at ease if I spend the hour in my truck instead of being stared at by the whole student body.
It was about halfway through lunch when my cell phone rang. At first I'd hoped it was simply Renee or Charlie calling to check in, though I knew they wouldn't do that in the middle of a school day. I cringed when I saw it was an unlisted number; I knew who it was. I wanted to do nothing but throw the phone out of the window and never look at it again, but I'd tried that before and it only made things worse. Not answering was not an option. Steeling myself, I finally picked up, though I said nothing.
"Hello, Isabella," the undistinguishable voice greeted me. I wished I could recognize the voice, but it was so deformed that it was impossible. I figured he used some sort of voice to make his voice unrecognizable.
"It's too bad about the rain, isn't it? I know how much you hate anything wet or cold," he chuckled while I was doing all I could to just hold myself together.
"I see you're still playing the silent game. It's alright, it won't last. I have a present for you Isabella, it should arrive at your house sometime tomorrow. I so hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did." I bit my tongue so I wouldn't blurt out that I wasn't at the house in Phoenix anymore. I'd moved and he wouldn't be able to find me. He couldn't! I didn't tell anyone where I was going.
"Enjoy your stay in Forks, beloved. I'll be seeing you soon." The phone disconnected. How did he know? How could he know I was in Forks? No one who knew would have told him. So how? A sob threatened to release itself – I would never be free of him. This would never stop. He'd just keep at it until he either drove me to insanity or suicide. No one would stop him. How could they? They didn't even know who it was.
I wanted to call Renee, or even Charlie, and tell them about this, but I didn't know how. They were both so sure that he wouldn't be able to find me, and if he did it would take ages, not 1 freaking day! No, I'd tell Charlie when he got home; no need to worry him at work. And I wouldn't tell Renee at all, let her have the illusion that everything was fine.
I tried to compose myself as best as I could. It was almost time to head to my next class, but I was in no state to do so at the moment. My entire body was shaking with fear, my heart was pounding so hard in my chest I was surprised it didn't just jump out and my breath was coming in short gasps – I was having another panic attack.
I tried to just shut everything out of my mind, think of nothing at all. I was humming Claire De Lune under my breath – the song always helped me calm down in times of great stress. It took nearly 10 minutes – and by now I would be late for class – but eventually I managed to compose myself slightly. Even though I was by no means calm, at least I appeared outwardly calm, if not a bit nervous. I would be able to go to class now.
Mr. Banner, the biology teacher, believed me when I said I'd gotten lost and simply directed me to my seat. The boy's name I was to be seated with was Mr. Cullen. I sat down and took a peak at my neighbor and flinched at the sight that met me. The boy – he was the most beautiful being I'd ever seen, with beautiful messy, bronze hair; he took my breath away – was glaring at me with a murderous look in his coal black eyes. His hands were clenched into fists and his body was angled away from me as far as possible.
My body started trembling again and my breath hitched. I would not cry over this! I wouldn't! I had no idea what I had done to make this stranger hate me so much and I honestly didn't care. He had no right to look at me that way! Who the hell did this Cullen kid think he was?! As if I didn't already have enough problems without some unknown kid proclaiming his undying hatred for me before he'd ever even said a word to me!
Just as the bell rang Cullen shot out of his chair and left the classroom so fast it made me a little dizzy. Still upset over the phone call and angry with the Cullen kid, I slowly made my way home, knowing I'd probably cry myself to sleep tonight (whatever little of it I would have). And I'd be a nervous wreck in the morning, knowing that a package was arriving – a package he send – and not having any idea what was going to be in it, but knowing it would be nothing good.
I really hated my life sometimes. Really really hated it!