Description: New Dawson's Creek story that I have been working on. Its based before the shows high school graduation but post Joey and Pacey's break up at prom.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the original story.
Authors Note: if this story receives reviews I will update it regularly.
Consequences and Actions:
Chapter #17
(Pacey's pov)
" Of course, they would be idiots not to. They are lucky to have you Joey. …I know that I was.", I add softly before lowering my eyes from Joey's. This brings on an awkward silence. Leave it to me to make things tense between Potter and me. It is the truth though, Worthington would be fortunate to have Joey. She is a bright and beautiful young lady. I don't know what she is concerned about. Even if Joey lost her scholarship, there are plenty of other Universities that would die to have her. She was only the top of our graduating class after all.
" I don't believe you, but thanks. …Pace.", gasps Joey when she realizes what I said finally. Risking a peek up at her, I'm unable to read Joey. I'm not sure if she is upset or flattered by my comment. The only thing I know for sure right now is that I meant every word of what I just told Joey. I'm not a moron; I know how amazing she is. The fact that she chose to be with me still has me baffled. I never in a million years thought that Joey was going to chase after me that fateful day last summer. Yet for some unexplainable reason she did. Doesn't she know that she could have done way better than the likes of me? I'm never going to amount to anything; still Joey had to have seen something promising in me.
Offering Joey a sad smile, I hide the hurt expression behind my eyes," I'm sorry, I know you don't like talking about us Jo."
Resting her head on my shoulder, Joey places a kiss on my chest," No it isn't that Pacey. …You are just making it really difficult for me not to miss you."
" I'm right here, Potter. …For what it is worth, I miss you also Joey.", I whisper in a gruff voice. I'm uncertain what to think or even say. Joey just confessed to missing me. This is something I wasn't expecting her to do anytime soon. Did she mean it? If Jo did, was it meant in the way I'm hoping it was? Am I kidding myself? There is a look in Joey's eyes that I'm unable to decipher. It is one I have never seen before. Could there be a chance that she still has feelings for me? That I didn't ruin things between us permanently? Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I saw the tears in Joey's eyes after I said all that I had to say that night. I know the answer to that damn question without having to ask it.
" You know what I mean Witter. ….I lied to you.", I hear Joey add silently as an afterthought. Raising a perplexed eye brow, I glance down only to find her peeking up at me. She lied to me? About what, what is Joey talking about? For the life of me, I can't figure her out. Suppose before I go out of my mind trying to guess what Joey meant by this, I should probably let her explain.
(Joey's pov)
Startled by the tears in my eyes, Pacey tentatively asks," You lied Jo?"
Concealing my face in Pacey's side, I quietly mumble," I did Pace."
" About?", is the only word uttered from Pacey's lips. About is precisely what I was afraid he would ask. I know what I lied about. I knew even as I spoke the words that they weren't true…that I hadn't meant them. Still I had to convince Pacey otherwise. This proved to be a challenge all of its own. Sure, he might have believed me after all was said and done. But this isn't to say that it didn't damn near kill me to do so. The pain and heartache left in Pacey's eyes, it is something I'll never forget. At the time, I thought it was necessary to push him away. If I hadn't, he never would have backed off and given up trying to fix all he had wrong. While I know Pacey meant well with all his efforts, I needed time to myself…to let the wounds he gave me on prom night have a chance to heal.
"…I still love you, I never stopped. The only reason I told you that I didn't was because it hurt too much to admit this…still does Pace.", I reveal unable to bring my eyes to meet Pacey's. I can feel his gaze on me. He is studying my every move. Should I have even said anything? Pacey is going to want answers. Am I ready to give them to him? I don't know if I am honestly. Pacey does deserve to know the truth though. He might have shattered my heart, but I own him an explanation for why I felt the need to lie the way I did.
" Why are you crying then?", are the only words uttered from Pacey's mouth. Touching a hand to my cheek, I swipe at my eyes. Should have seen the water works coming. What is wrong with me? I can all but feel myself falling for Pacey all over again. It isn't my fault though, since Pace found out I was pregnant he hasn't left my side. How am I supposed to resent him when he has been nothing but kind, caring and helpful? Most of all he has been patient with me. I don't know how he does it to tell the truth. These last few weeks I have been more than a handful. Pacey takes it all in good stride though. This in part is exactly what is making it so hard for me to despise him as I rightfully should.
" Because I don't want to love you anymore.", I answer in a stubborn tone as I wipe at my eyes once more in anger. This was a harsh thing to say, but I couldn't help it. Pacey has me so frustrated I can't even think straight. Why won't he just be a prick? It would make hating him a whole lot easier on me. A look of pain flashes in Pacey's eyes and I instantly begin to feel guilty. He didn't deserve such a cruel remark; I'm not even all that certain why I said an awful thing like that. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Why am I trying to hurt Pacey? He has been nothing but supportive and understanding. ….