A/N - Alright, this one goes from Nikalex again, since she's so damn awesome :3
It has been two weeks since they saw each other for last time, guns trained to each other, eyes full of pain, pain of hate and pain of regret... It has been two endless weeks, 14 sleepless nights, 14 painful days... two weeks without seeing each other's face, without knowing if they are alive or dead, without kissing each other with passion, without exchanging words of love...two long, painful, endless weeks...
They say that trust is everything in a relationship. They say that betrayal is one of the worst pain in the world. They say that love can survive anything. They say that love is one of the strongest feelings in the world. Lies. Lies. Lies. A life built in lies, a relationship built in lies. Can love survive the lies?
Nikita lied. Yes, she did lied. She never wanted to but she had to, she was afraid. Afraid that the truth will destroy them, afraid of losing her lover, afraid that the only person who knew everything about her, the only person that she loved and cared about her, the only person to who she would go to seek comfort will turn against her, will despise her, will hunt her down. So she lied, not because she was afraid of her life, but because she was afraid of a life without Alex. But lies and secrets are not meant to be hidden... the truth always finds the way to the surface, burning down the lies, shallowing them, destroying bonds... leaving ashes and dust...
And the ugly truth that Nikita tried to hide found its way to the surface. One afternoon, Percy show a video to Alex, a video that was meant to break her beyond any measures, a video that cut her heart open bleeding, a video that burned down her world in Nikita's flames one more time. Nikita's confession... Nikita, the woman that Alex was ready to give her life for, kill for, lie for, was the one that Alex had sworn to kill, the killer of her father. Nikita, the woman who loved more than anything in the world, lied to her, used her... and now she was lost.
And they tore apart, chose different paths, chose different sides, different goals. But can they really fight each other to death?
Words were ringing in their head, words that were meant to cause pain and hate. But now, it was time to talk.. it was time to exchange more pain, more hate, more regret... And so Alex prepared herself... after two long weeks working under Division's radar on a side mission, she had Nikita's location. And she waited patiently. Nikita's safe house was already bugged, yesterday while Nikita and Michael went to reload their founds, Alex was bugging their house and now she waited for Nikita to stay alone. Pain. All Nikita could feel was pain. Michael was trying to approach her, to make her his, to make her love him... but Nikita's heart belonged elsewhere... with Alex. With her light, her sunshine, her love. The new information that Michael brought to her, killed her. Her Alex was working for Division now. Her Alex, the woman that she loved more than anything in the world, was with Division for real. A free agent, now...working with Division BY CHOICE! How could Nikita deal with an information like that?
"Let her be, Nikita... she made her own choices... she is our enemy now." Michael tried to reason Nikita. "Our enemy? Alex isn't our enemy, Michael.. Don't you ever dare to say that again..." Nikita protested. Enemy? How can she see Alex as her enemy? How can she fight her baby girl? "You can't continue like that, Nikita. Alex is a lost cause. You saved her, she betrayed you and now works against you. Let her be and move on. Focus on something important." Michael insisted. He was tired of seeing Nikita that sad, dead from the inside. "Alex IS important, Michael. She is important to me! And stop accusing her for her choices... I am as much to blame as anyone..." Nikita retorted angrily. None was going to insult Alex in front of her. None.
"The next time that she will see you, she won't shoot you on your vest... SHE. WILL. KILL. YOU... this is who she is... an Udinov... a ruthless murderer..." Michael tried again. "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE MICHAEL! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER. NOTHING!" Nikita yelled. She had enough of this. She had enough of Michael trying to turn her against Alex. Michael frustrated stood up and left slamming the door behind him.
"Finally" Alex whispered to herself. Finally Nikita was left alone. It was time for a final chat with her ex-lover. It was time to confront Nikita. "She betrayed you, Alex. She used you. She trained you. She fucked you. She lied to you and sent you here to fight us. She sent you to sacrifice your life for her personal revenge... she sacrificed you." Percy's words tortured her for days.
It was time for the final mission. Alex didn't know the result. She just knew that she had to see Nikita's eyes, try to find the truth of Nikita's feelings. She needed to know if Nikita ever felt something for her. It was time to listen to Nikita. So Alex put her headphones on and listened to what was going on inside of the house. Glasses... shattered glasses. Nikita was throwing everything on the floor, kicking the furniture, punching the walls and then suddenly she stopped and a door slamming was heard. Alex knew those outbursts. She knew that Nikita was now probably in the bathroom trying to calm down, maybe take a bath, too. She had less than 5 minutes, to get inside the house, find the black box and wait for Nikita.
So she started.
She got out of the car and moved towards the house, she opened the door and came in silently, moved to the bedroom, searched under Nikita's pillow, found the black box and then move towards he kitchen and served herself a glass of coffee. She smiled at her own actions. That was hilarious. Breaking into the safe house of your enemy and serving yourself a coffee, making yourself comfortable? Risky, too risky, but Alex was done hiding, was done playing nicely. So she placed the black-box on the table in front of her, she sat comfortably on the couch facing Nikita's bedroom, holding her gun on one hand and the cup of coffee on the other and smiled waiting patiently.
Seven minutes. This is how long it took Nikita to calm down and grab a quick hot bath. Quickly she changed into black underwear and a robe and she went back to her room, she had a mess to fix. Then she froze. That aroma, she would recognize that aroma everywhere but how? She hadn't smelt that shampoo for two weeks now. Her steps become slow, aware, careful. Quickly she grabbed her gun and scanned the room. None. Maybe it was her imagination. Slowly she lowered her gun. Her head hurt like hell. She had to take some painkiller and ease the pain. Scratching her head and with the gun still on her hands, she left her bedroom only to freeze again. Alex was standing on her living room, smiling. Immediately, she lifted her gun up training at Alex, Michael's words still in her head.
"I hope that you don't mind me drinking some of your coffee" Alex said calmly. Nikita opened her mouth and then close it again. She didn't know what to say. She had never expected to see Alex in her safe house. Her eyes studied Alex's features. Alex was stressed but remained relatively calm, the gun was still on her hands but it wasn't pointing to Nikita and Nikita couldn't but wonder why and then her eyes fell to the black box and pain filled her heart again. Alex has turned into Division for good. "This is what you want?" Nikita asked harsh, pain filling her voice and gestured to the black box.
"The black box? Nah... if i wanted only The black box, i would have left already instead of enjoying the not so warm hospitality of yours..." Alex replied smiling. She wanted to make Nikita feel a little of the pain that she felt that night, the night that she learnt about Nikita's betrayal. Nikita's eyes were filling with unshed tears. She couldn't stand to have Alex on her gunpoint, not again. "You don't want the black box?" Nikita asked confused. What the hell Alex was doing here? Why Alex hadn't left already? "I am still debating on that. Amanda would have been extremely happy to see the black box.. but giving Amanda the upper hand? I don't think so..." Alex replied seriously.
"If you don't want the black box, then what do you want Alex? to kill me? go ahead, then... kill me and take your revenge, but please stop helping division." Nikita said devastated. "Kill you? Look around you, Nikita. You are the one who had trained your gun on me. My gun is not trained on you, yet. But you still accuse me for coming here to kill you?" Alex replied angrily. For the love of... if she wanted to kill Nikita, she would have done it already. Nikita blinked her eyes and stared at Alex. She didn't know what to believe anymore. The last 2 weeks were a constant torture for her, not knowing where her lover was, what she was doing, if she was alright or not and then learning that Alex had turned into Division was the final blow for her already broken soul.
"If you don't want to kill me, then why don't you let your gun on the table...?" Nikita managed to ask. Her voice shaking, her nerves broken, her heart pained.
" And leave myself completely exposed to the legendary Nikita? It is already risky that I am sitting in your living room like nothing happened..." Alex replied calmly. She didn't want to make the conversation more heated than necessary, not now at least.
Nikita was taken aback from Alex's explanation. She didn't want to believe that her Alex was thinking that she was under danger around her, she couldn't believe how broken their previously unbroken relationship seemed to be.
"You know that I would not hurt you, Alex.." Nikita almost cried out devastated. It was killing her, seeing Alex so cold and distant, it was the worst pain ever.
Alex smirked. She hated herself for hurting Nikita like that, but she needed some type of closure, some type of revenge. "It seems that we have a very different view of what the word 'hurt' means. You can't do anything to hurt me anymore, Nikita. Nothing can hurt me more. Of course, you can kill me, finish your old mission, but I must admit that dying is not that bad... so yeah, you can't hurt me anymore." Alex commented sharply. She felt bad seeing Nikita's pained look. Alex's words had hurt her even more, they were like knifes in her already bleeding heart. What has she done? How could she live knowing that she caused so much pain to the person that loved more than anything? to her Alex, to her baby girl...
"What do you want Alex? How did you find this place?" Nikita asked ready to break down as she lowered her gun. If Alex wanted to kill her, she wasn't going to fight back. It would be a better alternative than living without Alex by her side.
"I followed your tracks and I wanted to talk. So sit." Alex replied calmly. She will have the upper hand in this conversation. No matter what... Nikita will know what she did. Nikita obeyed instantly, not knowing what else to do. Alex let the cup of coffee on the table and took the black box in her hands. "How much is it worthy, Nikita? Is it worthy your life? my life?" Alex asked quietly. "Nothing is worthy your life, Alex..." Nikita retorted angrily. She was glad that Alex gave her the chance to explain herself, to try to make amends, but she knew really well that there is almost nothing that she could say to take Alex's pain away from her.
"This is what we wanted right? This is why you trained me, this is why Amanda killed me, right? All division's dirty secrets in your hands..." Alex asked dryly. She needed to have a control over her emotions, she needed to understand. "What do you mean 'killed you'?" Nikita chocked. She didn't like the sound of those words. "Someone had to deactivate my kill-chip after I faked your death..." Alex said calmly. Nikita froze completely. Alex had literally died because of her.
"This is why you work with Amanda? Because she... saved you?" Nikita asked with disgust in her voice. How could Alex work with them, when she knew what they were? "Of course not. I will enjoy seeing you kicking Division's ass really really much. I still want Division dead, Nikita. They are just... too bad to let it pass like that." Alex replied honestly. She wasn't blind. She knew exactly what Division was and it needed to be stopped. "Then why helping them?" Nikita asked confused. "It is take-give relationship. When I am done taking, I will stop giving. For now, they are useful.." Alex said with hate in her voice. She hated Division and she couldn't wait to turn it into ashes and dust.
"They are using you..!" Nikita almost shouted as she stood up and started pacing up and down opposite to Alex. "Like you used me?" Alex retorted bitterly.
"I NEVER USED YOU! You mean everything to me, Alex. Everything!" Nikita yelled frustrated. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Alex just stared to Nikita. She enjoyed seeing Nikita on edge. A part of her found satisfaction in hurting Nikita like that, while another part was screaming to her to go and hug her. "I never wanted that life for you. I just wanted you to have a normal life. If you hadn't tried to kill yourself right in front of me, I would have never told you... I tried to persuade you to leave and build a new life, I tried..." Nikita whispered as tears rained her cheeks. "You TRIED? You didn't try, Nikita. You withhold the only information that would have changed my mind..." Alex shouted back. She was starting to lose control over her emotions. She just wanted to take it all out and then break down.
"I WAS AFRAID!" Nikita yelled stopping her pacing to look at Alex. "Of your life..." Alex commented and looked sadly at Nikita. "Of a life without you by my side..." Nikita corrected Alex and collapsed on the couch. She was tired, she was tired of fighting with Alex, she was tired of playing it cool. She just wanted Alex back in her arms. "But still... you didn't have problem finding a replacement in your life so... please... please... cut the crap" Alex shot back. No matter if she didn't admit it to herself, the idea of Nikita sleeping with Michael not even one month after their break up hurt her. Nikita's eyes opened wide. Alex couldn't really believe that she was sleeping with Michael, could she? "Michael? We aren't like that, Alex. I am in love with you! I love you!" Nikita tried to reason Alex but Alex's emotionless stare was enough of a proof that Alex didn't care about what Nikita was going to say. "I don't want to offend you, but I don't care about what you do in your personal life... it is none of my business anymore.." Alex confirmed Nikita's suggestion.
"Why not kill me? Take your revenge and live your life?" Nikita asked defeated. She couldn't understand why she was still alive. "Well... i have a little problem killing you... you did killed my father and lied to me etc, but unfortunately, you did saved me as well... not once or twice but even more times... so I can't kill you. You see, I can't kill the woman who saved me, who helped me stand on my feet again... i just can't do it." Alex replied pain obvious in her voice. And Nikita was wondering if Alex was in pain because she couldn't kill her or because she wanted to kill her, her pain was because she didn't avenge her family or because Nikita was the target now. "If this is not a mask, then I don't want to live. I can't live with myself, if this is what you have become..." Nikita whispered sadly.
"Cold, distant, ruthless, without sense of morality, heartless...an emotionless monster.. You can't stand seeing your own creation?" Alex demanded coldly.
Nikita couldn't control her own emotions anymore. Tears ran freely. Alex accusing her for where she was standing, was excruciating. "You made me, Nikita. You sent me inside Division to become exactly that because this is what it takes to become a division agent... but i wasn't that bad, was i? of course not.. you had to deliver the final punch, you had to break me first. And you did it, the day that you decided to lie to me, to poison the only good thing in my life, that day you broke me, that day you created a monster..." Alex snapped with hate. Her pain was so much that she couldn't put it into proper words. "I know that you are a good person, Alex. Please, don't do that to yourself. Don't travel that path.. you will end up somewhere that you don't want to be." Nikita pleaded devastated. She just wished that her words would touch Alex's soul. She knew that Alex was a good person, she knew it.
"That is my choice, Nikita." Alex said firmly and stood up. Nikita looked up at her and waited for what Alex was going to do next.
She looked confused as Alex hide her gun behind her back and then took the black box, only to hand it back to Nikita. Nikita glared at it and took it back.
"You can have your precious black-box, don't worry..." Alex said and smiled to her when Nikita took the black box and stood up to face her baby girl eye-to-eye.
"Stay out of my way. I mean it. For your own best interest stay away from me and my targets." Alex warned Nikita. Nikita felt shivers going down her spine. Alex was so cold and distant, so fatal... she felt scared that this wasn't a false threat but a real warning. Alex lifted her hand and touched Nikita's cheek softly. She needed to feel Nikita's skin one last time, she needed to say goodbye. Nikita felt like she was about to cry. She hadn't felt Alex's touch for weeks and now she knew that this touch was a goodbye.
"Cover your tracks better, sensei. If i found you, Amanda's pets will find you as well. Take care." Alex said softly, her eyes glistering with hot, unshed tears.
Nikita felt her heart beating again. Alex was not gone yet, there was a part of her baby girl that didn't hate her, didn't despise her.. a part that kept loving her... and it was a big part. Nikita knew that Alex was wearing just a mask, Alex was always wearing masks, not with Nikita, but with others, strangers. Now she was wearing with Nikita, too. But it didn't matter, it didn't matter at all, because for Nikita, that mask was a hope, a hope that Alex will come back, a hope that she will have Alex again safe in her arms. It was an opportunity, an opportunity to prove her love to Alex by breaking down her walls once more, an opportunity to gain her trust again. Slowly Alex took away her hand from Nikita's face and turned on her heels walking away. She hadn't even reached the door when Nikita's broken voice stopped her.
"Alex.. please... i am sorry!" Nikita said cracking a little more as she spoke to Alex turned back. Alex froze. She felt anger rising inside her. She needed to take out all her frustration so she turned around to face the woman who broke her heart one more time. "I don't understand, Nikita. I am trying so hard but I don't understand. Why did you have to pretend as if i mattered, when I was only a mean to the end for you? Why the hell did you have to make me fall for you? Why did you have to lie about those things? All that so you can be sure that i will stay on mission?" Alex demanded in a low voice letting a lone tear to fall.
"No" Nikita said devastated shaking her head negatively and walked towards Alex. She lifted her hand and softy touched Alex's face wiping her tear away.
"You were never a tool for me, Alex. Never." Nikita reassured her seriously. "Why all those lies, Nikita?" Alex asked and took a step back walking away from Nikita's touch. Nikita was getting more and more devastated. She was going to lose her baby girl. She started pacing up and down thinking of how she had to put her thoughts in order and explain her feelings. "Yes, I LIED! I kept things away from you! I hurt you! and I REGRET IT! but i never lied for my love towards you! I WAS AFRAID! i didn't lie to keep you focused on mission, i lied to keep you CLOSE TO ME! BY MY SIDE! BECAUSE I WAS SELFISH! because i didn't want to lose you!" Nikita yelled and stopped to take a deep breathe.
"Once you asked me why I didn't act on my feelings earlier and i told you that it wasn't the right time. I lied about that too... i was afraid to act on my feelings knowing what i caused you. I had already lost Daniel and even the thought of losing you was excruciating. Why get attached when you know that in the end, you will end up alone with your guilt and regrets? why not just skip to the end? But i couldn't control it anymore! i have never felt something so strong, so pure... not even with Daniel. And there was it... one secret, one secret that could have ended it all in no time, a secret that would have replaced the love and adoration in your eyes with hate and disgust.. how could i confess this secret? how could i confess that i killed your father when i love you so much? how can i look you in your eyes and tell you that i destroyed your life when i NEED you!" Nikita added and stopped to stare at a speechless Alex.
"Nikita..." Alex tried softly but she stopped when Nikita turned around and walked away, kneeling down next to the couch and searching from something. "I didn't want Michael to find it, so i hide it" Nikita said mostly to herself. "Hm?" Alex requested confused. Nikita moved back towards Alex gripping a little box in her hand. "You can be as mad as you want at me. You can yell at me, punch me, shoot me, kill me... you can do whatever you want. I deserve it... but never never never question my love for you. I can't take it. Please... don't you ever tell that i don't love you... i beg you... i love you." Nikita said and stared deep into Alex's eyes. She sighed when she saw Alex still struggling with her emotions. She needed to open all her cards, she owed Alex that much.
"Maybe this is going to persuade you more than my words." Nikita said and handed to Alex a little box.
Alex rose a brow and looked at Nikita curiously.
"Open it" Nikita ordered firmly and Alex obeyed. She froze completely when she saw a small wonderful ring in it. Nikita waited for Alex to speak but Alex was in too much shock to react so she decided that she needed to make the situation a little clear. "Do you remember the day that you shot me? I had told you that after the mission, I wanted to take you out, to a restaurant... i had it everything planned. I had already hacked all the cameras, i had talked with the waiters, i had ordered champagne and special music for you.. i was planning to go down on one knee in front of everyone. I had even prepared a speech. I wanted to tell you that even if i can't offer you a house by the sea, a child, money or safety... even if i don't know if i will be alive the next morning, i want to spend all the mornings of the rest of my life with you, i want to see your face, hear your laugh, smell your perfume. I want to hug you and kiss you and make you feel special because you are special for me... and i know that i am not perfect, i am jealous and i can become a real bitch sometimes...but i love you! and i want to spend my life with you, because I LOVE YOU!" Nikita said and looked at Alex, who was staring at the ring and then back up at Nikita.
Alex was moved. But what has she done to deserve such a woman by her side? Their love belonged to the past.. No? No matter what she was saying, she couldn't lie to herself, she will always love Nikita, she will always care for her... she didn't own her own heart anymore, Nikita was her life. She wanted to say something, anything, good or bad, but she couldn't open her mouth, she couldn't voice any words... she was in loss of words, she was speechless.
Nikita saw that and smiled gently to Alex. With her hand she forced Alex's chin up and demanded her attention. "I know that after everything, i don't even stand a chance to a positive answer. I am just asking you for one single thing." Nikita said and waited for Alex to snap out of her shock state.
"What is that?" Alex asked with a weak voice. She was so tired of this fight, of this act.. she just wanted everything to come to an end. She missed Nikita so much... "I want you to look in my eyes one last time and believe me when i say that i love you with all my heart and i will always love you" Nikita said firmly.
That was it, Alex's walls came down like if there were made of paper and a small cry escaped her mouth as tears started running down her cheeks freely. Nikita didn't let a second to pass and quickly reached for Alex and despite her struggles put her into a hug.
"Let me go" Alex pleaded crying. "I am so sorry, Alex, so sorry. I am so sorry." Nikita replied crying as she held Alex in place. "Make it stop" Alex whispered broken and her knees gave up from underneath her as Nikita catch her and then brought her down with her, placed her on her lap and held her tightly rubbing her back as Alex sobbed into Nikita's hug. "Make stop what, Alex?" Nikita whispered in her ears softly. "I don't want to see his dead eyes every time that i close my eyes... i can't take it anymore.." Alex confessed and she felt Nikita tightening her hug around her. "I am sorry, Alex. I didn't know that you were there till i didn't hear your scream. I never wanted to kill him and i certainly didn't want to kill him in front of you. I am so sorry." Nikita said defeated. She couldn't believe how much pain she had caused to her baby girl.
It was difficult to catch Nikita in surprise and what happened next was something that Nikita never thought about it, neither in her craziest dreams. Alex pushed her body away from her only to lean forward and place a soft kiss on Nikita's lips. "I know..." Alex whispered gently and it was Nikita's time to find herself in the loss of words. "Alex..?" Nikita tried to ask but she didn't know what she wanted to ask. "I love you... no matter what I say or do... that will never change" Alex whispered in a firm voice. "What did you say?" Nikita requested shocked unable to believe that Alex had said those words again to her.
Alex just smiled and buried herself back into Nikita's hug. "You heard me." Alex stated after few seconds of silence and Nikita's tears rained her face one more time. "I am so so sorry, Alex... I love you so so so so so much!" Nikita said as she hugged Alex like if her life was depended on that hug.
"Shhhh... everything will be okay" Alex tried to comfort Nikita and placed one more soft kiss on her lips before she passed out from exhaustion and stress in Nikita's hug. Nikita hugged Alex's limb body and cried her eyes out. She couldn't believe that Alex had given her a second chance.
After five minutes, Nikita decided to move Alex from the floor and she picked her up, carried her to the bedroom, placed her gently on the bed, climbed next to her hugging her and then covered her with blankets to keep her warm. "I am sorry... i love you... please forgive me... i love you... i love you.." Nikita kept repeating to Alex's unconscious form.
Her monologue was interrupted when Nikita heard the door opening and got out of the bed to see what is going on. Michael was back... "Hi" Michael said coldly. "Alex is here." Nikita informed him casually and she was shocked when Michael took out his gun in defense. "What are you doing?" Nikita asked confused. "You said that Alex is here. Alex is Division..." Michael tried to explain. "Hide your gun now. Alex is not a threat. She could have given our location to Amanda and get rid off of us, instead she came here, alone, to warn us to cover our tracks better..." Nikita defended Alex. "And you believe her?" Michael asked disgust of how weak Nikita was when Alex was concerned. "Yes. I do." Nikita replied firmly. "Then stay here with her and get blown up when Division arrives... I am not going to sit and watch you burn" Michael said and turned around leaving the house and slammed the door as he left. Nikita sighed annoyed and went back to her bedroom. She smiled when she saw Alex slowly opening her eyes again. With unsure steps she moved closer to bed and kneeled down next to Alex.
"Nikita" Alex stated softly. "What happened?" Alex asked as she rubbed her head with her hands trying to ease the throbbing pain. "You passed out." Nikita replied honestly and touched Alex's face. "Thanks" Alex muttered. "What for?" Nikita asked confused. "For always taking care of me.." Alex replied softly and offered a small smile to Nikita. Nikita smiled in return and waited for Alex to say anything. "Come here.." Alex ordered and gestured to the bed next to her.
Nikita didn't need to hear Alex's order for second time and she instantly went closer to Alex. Alex moved a little to make more space for Nikita and when Nikita sat down, Alex hesitantly hugged her and she smiled when Nikita hugged her back.
"Do you remember what you told me before you passed out?" Nikita asked quietly and looked at Alex's small figure. "I do" Alex replied seriously. "You mean it?" Nikita asked afraid of the answer. "Yes.." Alex said and looked at Nikita's eyes making sure that Nikita will understand the honesty of Alex's response. "I love you, Alex.." Nikita commented and hugged Alex even more tight. They stayed in silence for about 10 minutes when Nikita finally broke the comfortable silence. Her eyes had fallen to the engagement ring that she wanted to give to Alex sitting on the nightstand. "Can I ask something...?" Nikita started unsure.
Alex pulled herself back and stared at Nikita. She took a moment to think and nodded. She knew from Nikita's voice that she wanted to know the truth to a serious question. "If... if nothing had happened and i had made the proposal, would you have married me?... i know that this is never going to happen now, not after what i did to you... but... back then? what your answer would have been?" Nikita asked softly and turned her gaze away from Alex ashamed of her own admission.
"My answer wouldn't have changed..." Alex started but Nikita cut her off. "I see... thanks for the honesty.." Nikita said and wiped away her tears thinking that Alex would have said no. Alex looked confused to Nikita and then realization striked her. Bad choice of words Alex cursed herself. "Nikita, I don't mean that..." Alex tried but Nikita cut her off. "It is okay, really.." Nikita said and placed a soft teary kiss to Alex's lips. "Nikita..." Alex tried again but Nikita stood up and started walking away. Alex had enough. Quickly she stood up grabbing the box with the ring and followed Nikita. She stopped her grabbing her arm and turning her around and kissed her with passion. "I love you." Alex stated firmly. "I love you, too" Nikita said back and smiled.
"And you misunderstood my answer, stupid... i didn't mean that i would have answered no, i meant..." Alex paused and took a deep breath.
"Marry me?" Alex asked sheepishly and show Nikita the box with the ring. "It is not funny, Alex" Nikita said and gave Alex a pained look. "I am not joking. The situation that we are in isn't perfect to make a conversation like that but we have already started it so.. why not finish it?" Alex retorted firmly. Alex took a deep breath. "You asked if i would have said yes and i told you that my answer wouldn't have changed because of the facts and everything that happened the last weeks... i love you... that would never change, no matter what you say or do.. i will always love you... and my answer would have been yes..." Alex said seriously. "Alex.." Nikita tried to say something but she couldn't find any words. "You also said that you don't have any chance to a positive answer after what i learnt about you and my answer to that is 'marry me'. If you still want to work it out and move forward, then let's do it. If not, then i will always be by your side..." Alex added softly and cupped Nikita's face.
"But i lied to you and hurt you... how can you forgive all of that?" Nikita asked shocked. She was dreaming, right? Her Alex hadn't just given her the opportunity to work it out, her Alex was not letting her back in after all those words and fights... it is just a wonderful dream and when she wakes up, the reality will hurt her once more. "And we are fighting about it and in some point we will stop fighting about it." Alex retorted smiling. It felt good to see that your lover wants you that much that she is afraid that she is daydreaming. "You are giving me a second chance?" Nikita whispered shocked.
"I am giving our relationship a second chance... people fight, it is normal and it is a good way to figure out what it is important in your life... and you are important in my life... more than i dare to admit.. so the question isn't if i am ready to give it a chance but.. if you are ready to give it a chance... i did and said some horrible things to you.." Alex said softly.
She waited for a verbal answer but instead of that, Nikita crushed their lips together roughly. Nikita's tongue played with Alex's lower lip and when Alex's mouth opened to welcome her tongue, Nikita pushed them both into the near wall, pinning Alex on it and kissing Alex like if it was for the last time. Slowly she pulled apart and staring at Alex's ocean blue eyes, she moved her hands to remove Alex's top. Alex moaned softly into the sweet sensation of Nikita's hands on her naked flesh and Nikita kissed her again shutting her up and smiling in the process. And suddenly the wall wasn't enough, so with locked mouths Nikita moved both of them to the bed and violently pushed Alex down while she climbed on her and pinned her hands down. Nikita bent down and bit Alex's lip piercing it a little and then sucked on Alex's blood.
"So aggressive..." Alex commented while Nikita let her lip in order to remove her own top. "You like it..." Nikita retorted smiling. "From you.. i enjoy anything... " Alex confirmed and moaned as Nikita worked on her pants. Alex had enough of teasing, it was time for pay back. Suddenly she flipped them over and now she was on top. "And i love to pay back to you" Alex said suggestively.
3 hours later...
"Where are you going?" Alex asked when Nikita left her side and started walking back to the living room. "Just one minute baby.." Nikita yelled and indeed after a minute she was back. With firm and sure steps, she went towards Alex's bedside and knelt next to her. Slowly she show Alex the box with the ring. "I don't want to press you, i know that you need time... but would you marry me someday?" Nikita asked hesitantly and blushed. Alex felt tears in her eyes for one more time that she didn't bother to hold back as she said " Yes, i will marry you" Nikita launched herself to her baby girl hugging her tightly.
"I love you, Nikita" Alex said smiling.
"I love you too, Alex" Nikita replied hugging Alex forever.
They say that love can beat anything.. they say that love is magic...
they say that lies can hurt your loved ones... they say that lies are bad...
they say that fights can show you the right path.. they say that fights are needed...
Nikita said "I love you"
Alex replied "Always and forever"
A/N - Perfect again, if i can say so myself :D.. anyway, if anyone wants to add something, if its only just an idea, please do tell me.. I will write it gladly for you.. everything is credited, don't worry :)
Thanks for reading, & thanks Nikalex for the supreme writing :P