Greetings Mortals! So I have returned, and everyone is cheering. Great, now let's answer that question I'm sure you're all asking. What the hell is Bullshit Week 2014? Well, that's actually quite simple. It is literally going to be me, and hopefully a few other authors bullshitting the hell out of Valentine's day week.

So, I got this idea because I really hate Valentines day... like with a burning passion. It's such utter bullshit, and then I was thinking more about how my writing is bullshit, so here we go! Bullshit Week 2014. There will literally be no plot in these one shots so, if you're looking for my usual thought provoking shit, I just updated LOAD. Go read that. I am writing this to provide mindless comedy and lewd humor to a day that really should be renamed Single's Awareness day.

To those out there who agree with me and want to contribute to Bullshit Week 2014, just send me you're fic through Gmail, and I'll add it in. Don't worry, all credit will be given, and really, I just want a hue pile of bullshit for this. Just remember, keep it pointless, just like Valentines Day.

To the readers, I'll update this at least once a day, if not more... and now, I want to give you all an incentive to review. The first person on each chapter (that I write... I can't speak for other authors) who reviews, I'll write whatever prompt you give. Literally no limits on this, PWP, fluff, anything, and I'll do it. Just as long as it isn't angst or something serious, consider it done! I know... Did I really just say that? Yes, yes I did. Any character pairing is fine, and any prompt is fine. Hit me with your best shot!

So now, without further ado, I give you, Bullshit Week 2014

Pairing: Bechloe friendship

Category: Humor

Rating: K

Beca sat comfortable next to Chloe on the couch watching cartoons. Yes, the one and only badass Beca Mitchell liked cartoons. Fucking sue her if you wanted to, but hey, there was no shame in liking the old cartons. The new ones were shit, but the original Pokemon, Digimon, Teen Titans, Static Shock, etc, they were the shit. Plus, they were a staple in her childhood, so of course she still loved them. It was like mortal law that one will always love the shows they grew up with. You know I'm right, just don't even try and argue.

To those who were wondering, no, Beca and Chloe were not dating. Chloe was actually dating Aubrey, and Beca was just a friend. Yes, just a friend. A good friend, but not a friend with benefits or anything else like that. God, you're all dirty little birds. Looking over at Cloe, Beca smiled. It was nice just having friends for once. Not that she totally wouldn't fuck Chloe if she had the chance. It was just that she was petrified of what Aubrey might do to her if she slept with the red head. She rather liked her vocal chords, thank you very much. Plus, Chloe was the forever kind, and Beca didn't like tat kind of commitment, especially not in college.

Looking back over to the TV screen, Beca literally jumped up when she saw what was on. Fist pumping, Beca cheered, ignoring the quizzical look Chloe gave her.

"FUCK YES!" Beca shouted happily as the theme song of Pokemon began to play, "FUCK! YES! Alright!"

"Beca?" Chloe asked, "Are you alright over there?"

"Well duh!" Beca said, flopping back onto the couch to watch the show, "Fucking Pokemon is on! That show was the shit Chlo. The new Pokemon is so fucking stupid, but the original 151 were the fucking shit."

"Who knew Beca Mitchell was such a geek," Chloe said, laughing at the younger girls antics, "I thought you would have been like to cool for Pokemon or anything like that."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Beca scoffed, as though the answer should have been obvious, "Pokemon is the fucking shit Chlo. It was like the staple of my childhood. I had all the games, knew all the Pokemon"

"You're unbelievable sometimes, you know that?" Chloe laughed.

"That's what she said," Beca smirked, "That's also what the girl I took home from the club yesterday said. you know, if Aubrey isn't cutting it anymore Beale, I can rock you're world."

"Oh my god, you're such a dork!" Chloe laughed, "And trust me, Aubrey's doing way better then cutting it Beca. She's fantastic in bed, let me tell you. She also really knows how to use her tongue, probably from all the singing she does. See, there's this one thing she does where-"

"Ohmigod please, stop," Beca begged, holding her hands over her ears, "I do NOT need to hear about you and the aca-nazi having sex. Just please, no. Dear God no. That's like hearing about my parents having sex."

"What?!" Chloe huffed indignantly, "I'm not THAT much older then you Beca! And I know for a fact you have sex like all the time so I don't even know what-"

"A, can we please not bring my sex life into this, and B, I wasn't talking about you when I said that because I would totally do you if you weren't dating Aubrey," Beca said quickly, "I was talking about Aubrey. She's just such a prude, that its weird, that's all."

"Seriously Beca?" Chloe asked, "Aubrey is anything but a prude, TRUST me. Because I' nice, and Aubrey would kill me if I told you, I won't give you details, but just believe me when I say she is ANYTHING but that."

"You know what, I don't even want to know." Beca said, "Let's just watch Pokemon."

"Alright," Chloe said happily, "But you know there was this one time when we-"

"POKEMON!" Beca shouted, "Let's just watch Pokemon."

Smirking, Chloe settle back down onto the couch with Beca, letting a comfortable silence fall between them. As the adventures of Ash and his little band of merry friends broke for a commercial, Beca finally spoke again.

"Dude, I totally forgot how much awesome Charizard was," Beca said happily, "Charizard was the shit. I even went as him one year for Halloween. Chlo, that guy was fucking awesome. Hands down the best Pokemon ever."

"First, you're such a geek," Chloe laughed, "And second, you're an idiot. Charizard was okay, sure, but Pikachu was the best."

Beca's mouth literally dropped and she stared at Chloe as though she had grown a second head. For a full minute, Beca opened and closed her mouth like she was trying to find the right words, but just couldn't. Finally, she composed herself enough to start what Chloe felt was going to be a very long conversation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Beca gasped, "Pikachu was a little twat. What retard never evolves? And what the actual fuck! Did you just say Charizard was only OKAY? Are you fucking stupid or something? Charizard is the most badass fucking Pokemon ever. I don't even want to hear it Beale if you're not going to agree with me.

"Are you serious right now?" Chloe laughed, "Pikachu saved Ash's ass so many time, it's not even funny. Plus, he was just so adorable! Charizard was an ill tempered ass who only moved when he had to."

"Dude, while the show was good, it had nothing on the games. And in the games, a Pikachu was fucking stupid, and Charizard was the best fucking guy to have, hands down," Beca huffed, "And even still. Charizard kicked ass in the show. He was too awesome for someone as stupid as Ash to have. He did his own thing and kicked ass the whole way."

"Until he got his ass kicked by Blaziken!" Chloe laughed, "I remember that episode, Charizard got his ass kicked and then Ash lost the chance at the championship bout because little Char-"

"Just don't even Beale," Beca snapped, "Charizard would have kicked ass if it wasn't for Ash being a little fucking idiot. And anyway, Charizard could and would kick Pikachu's ass any day."

"You're forgetting what type Charizard is," Chloe smirked, "He's a FLYING type and fire type, so Pikachu's attacks would be super effective."

"Psh, Pikachu wouldn't even be able to take on hit from Charizard," Beca scoffed, "One Flamethrower or Fire Burst, and BAM! Pikachu would be down and out for the count."

"Are you for serious right now?" Chloe asked, "Because you really can't be serious right now."

"Oh, but I am," Beca said, suddenly, she got a mischievous glint in her eye. "And I'm about to prove it too!"

"Wait, what?" Chloe asked, "What are you doing?"

Beca just smirked and got up. "I'm proving that Charizard kicks Pikachu's ass. I'll be back."

And with that said, Beca hopped up from the couch and walked out the door. Staring at the door, Chloe tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. One second they were watching Pokemon, then they were talking about sex, and then Pokemon again, and now Beca left. What the hell? How did that even work? Shaking her head, Chloe sighed. Beca had said she'd be back, right? So now it was time for her to wait and see what the younger girl had in store.

Turning her attention back to the TV, Chloe watched as Pikachu was fighting against a gym leader's Pokemon. With his signature Thundershock move, Pikachu knocked the other Pokemon, Alakazam out, winning the match for Ash.

"Ha see?" Chloe said in the empty room, "Pikachu IS better."

Three hours later, Beca waltzed back into the room, a somewhat large black box in her arms. Setting the box carefully down onto the coffee table, Beca proceeded to then hop onto the couch and shake Chloe awake.

"I'm UP! I'M UP!" Chloe yelled as Beca literally shook her shoulders.

"Alright, good, because we're going to settle this the old fashion way," Beca said happily, "SO I went to my dad's house and I got all my old Nintendo stuff so now we can settle this-"

"Wait, you went to you're DAD's house, like the one that's an hour drive away?" Chloe asked, shocked, "Why the hell would you do that? And wait, I thought you hated your dad."

"Yes, and yes," Beca said, already digging through the box, "But you dissed Charizard, so this was the only way I could make you take it back."

"So you went all the way to a parent's house you hate because I dissed Charizard?" Chloe asked incredulously.

"Duh!" Beca said, shaking her head, "Dude, no one disses Charizard, and now, here we go!"

Pulling two old Gameboy Advances out, a couple cables, and two old Pokemon games, Beca handed one set to Chloe and started setting her own things up. Sitting there, Chloe was still to shocked to do anything but stare at the items in her hand in absolute shock. Did Beca seriously drive over two hours, face a parent she hated, and then waltz back into the apartment all to prove that Charizard was better then Pikachu?

"Chlo, you need to get set up, Pikachu is already level 50, so no need to do anything else there," Beca said, already finished setting her counsel up, "We're going to settle this the right way, and after Charizard trounces Pikachu, you'll have to admit that Charizard is a badass and Pikachu is a twat."

This snapped Chloe out of her trance and she smiled. So this was how it was going to be? Well, she could do with this. She definately wasn't above playing ld school video games with a friend on a Saturday afternoon. Actually, she couldn't think of many things she'd actually rather do. Plugging her cable in and turning the Gameboy on, Chloe grined.

"You ready to be crushed under the awesomeness that is Pikachu?" Chloe said.

"Psh, In you're dreams." Beca laughed, "You ready to go yet?"

"Already in the Pokecenter," Chloe smiled, "You ready?"

And with that said, it was on. Entering the battle room, Chloe laughed as she sent out her Pikachu and Beca sent out her Charizard. True to her word, Beca's Pikachu was indeed level 50, the same as the Charizard. Looking through the moves, Chloe's smile widened. On top of being a high level, the Pikachu also had really good moves. Perfect. Beca was going down.

"You're going down Mitchell," Chloe smirked, selecting Thunder, "Pikachu's gonna kick you're Charizard's ass."

"Oh really, because my Charizard just killed your Pikachu," Beca smirked, "one Flamethrower, ad puny Pikachu is down and out for the count! Charizard remains champ, and I am right! HA! Suck it Beale!"

Looking back down at her screen, Chloe was shocked to see that yes, Beca's Charizard landed one Flamethrower on her and Pikachu's once full green health bar was now completely empty. With a final cry, Chloe's Pikachu fell down and the defeat music played on her game, and the victory music played on Beca's. How the- what the hell?

"What?!" Chloe shrieked, "That's not- Beca! You rigged this! There's no way you could have done that!"

"Oh but I can. and I did," Beca smirked, "But hey, if you don't believe me, we can go again. I always love kicking ass at Pokemon."

"Oh, it's so on now Mitchell," Chloe said, already setting up fr the next match, "You're going down this time!"

"Bring it Beale." Beca smiled, also setting up for the next match, "Charizard's still gonna kick ass."

Aubrey walked into the apartment and set her keys into the bowl she had on the counter. Yawning, Aubrey went to grab a water bottle out of the fridge, before she stopped short. Turning around, Aubrey furrowed her brow. She knew Chloe and Beca were here, but usually by now, they were both passed out. Looking at her watch, Aubrey confirmed the time. Yes, indeed it was way past midnight now, and usually the two were asleep. From the living room, Aubrey could hear muttered words and the occasional swear word. Cautiously, Aubrey walked to the doorway and was shocked at the sight that greeted her eyes.

Beca and Chloe were still sprawled out on the couch playing Pokemon, each growling at the other when the other landed a hit or they lost. Both were so absorbed in their game that neither even realized that Aubrey had walked in the door. If she had to bet, Aubrey would also bet that nether even knew what time it was. What in the name of the aca-gods were those two doing?"

"Chloe and Beca," Aubrey said loudly, "What are you doing?"

"Pokemon," Beca grunted out, eyes not even leaving her screen, "Dammit Chloe! Fuck, you can't do that!"

"Just did baby!" Chloe said happily, "And that's just how we do!"

"Ah fuck!" Beca swore, "But I'm still ten wins up then you so Charizard is still better then-"

"BECA!" Aubrey yelled, trying to get the younger girl's attention, "What are you two doing? And please give me an answer that is longer then a single word."

Finally, the two put their game consuls down, albeit very reluctantly.

"We ah, we were playing Pokemon all afternoon," Chloe said sheepishly, "We got into a debate about which Pokemon was better, and Pikachu totally is better then Charizard, but that's not the point. Um, well, Beca had these old games, so we were trying to settle the debate through a battle... But we can just ask you. Bree, who's better? Charizard or Pikachu?"

"Wait, what?" Aubrey asked, "I don't- were you just-"

"Chloe, you cant ask Aubrey that!" Beca huffed, "You're dating her, so obviously she'll agree with you."

"No she won't," Chloe said, shaking her head, "Aubrey doesn't do stuff like that. She's always really honest about that, and she never backs me up unless I'm actually right. Which I am right now, but see, Aubrey will prove that."

"Dude, no!" Beca huffed, "I bet Aubrey doesn't even know what Pokemon are and-"

"Both of you!" Aubrey snapped, "Are you seriously telling me you've been playing a child's video game all day?"

"Umm... not like that, but yes!" Chloe said happily, "Now could you please tell Beca that-"

"No, I will do no such thing!" Aubrey huffed, "Both of you, bed now. We have to get up early for Bellas rehearsals tomorrow, and don't want a grumpy co-captain or a grumpy hobbit tomorrow. Now bed!"

Glaring at both, Aubrey watched as both girls trudged to their respective beds. Finally when both were in their beds, Aubrey sighed. Glancing down at the Gameboys on the couch, Aubrey had to bite back a laugh. As much as she loved Chloe, because really, she did, more then life, Pikachu really didn't have anything on Charizard. She just wasn't ever going to tell Chloe that though.

And the bullshitting begins. So how was that? Bad, god, bullshitty? Hopefully at the minimum a little funny. Tell me what you think. Remember, first reviewer gets to give me the prompt for tomorrow's update!

Writers, please, send me one-shots to put in this! I want this to be a giant collection of bullshit one-shots to make the world a better place :) the week of Valentine's day sucks for us single people, so let's try and make it suck a little less!