The next day Kenny met me just outside the apartment complex.
"Ok Kenny, I've been piecing together the information you gave me best I can, but to have a really solid plan I need more." I told him as I walked him back towards my apartment.
"Dude, this is where you're living?" he asked as he stepped in the door. It's true, it was smaller than even Kenny's house, and without any furniture it somehow seemed smaller and entirely devoid of life. I scoffed.
"I know, but my mom hasn't found a new job yet, and I can't pay for everything." I walked him to my room, showing him the groups of pages taped to my wall. I had worked most of last night to put it all on paper. I always think better when it's all laid out in front of me.
"So let's start with Stan; what else can you tell me about him?" I asked, gesturing to the group of papers to my right.
"Well he's usually either with Wendy, or football practice, or hanging out with the other jocks." he eyed my work suspiciously.
"Ok, I got that, but when? We can go online for the football schedule, but the rest will take some recon..." I pondered.
"Why can't we just confront him after one of his games?" Kenny crossed his arms. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Because, Kinny, this is how one stalks their prey. There are too many variables if we just charge in." I explained. This isn't even a money making scheme, and already this town is slowing down my plans. Kenny rolls his eyes, but allows me to continue.
"Now, if we want to convince Stan to join us, we're going to need to account for all the variables. One of us needs to find out more about these guys he hangs out with, while the other looks up what they can about his football schedule."
"Let me guess, I have to trail the football jerks." Kenny crosses his arms with a frown.
"Are you kidding? These are jocks, Kenny. Even if you can manage to keep up with them, they're going to smell your smoker bitch-ass from a mile away. No, it's better if you do the boring research..."
"Right, so what, head down to the library and print off a schedule? Then what?"
"Then call me, and we'll meet back here." I explained, pointing at the floor.
"Ok, but I'll have to use the pay phone, you have a couple quarters I can use?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Goddamn it, Kenny. You poor piece of shit... Ok fine here, go." I grab some change from my pocket before flinging the door open for him. He smiles up at me before leaving. I sigh loudly, then grab my coat and follow him out.
I start by walking towards the high school. Jocks tend to cluster near by there after practices. I stop suddenly, as I see a familiar green hat in the distance. Suddenly I loose all notion of my plan, and take off after it. I push past people as I try not to loose sight of it. Just a bit further... I grab his shoulder, turning him towards me.
"Ike?" I ask, feeling the disappointment stab through me. Of course it wouldn't be Kyle...
"Cartman? Damn dude, you look good!" he grins up at me with his big Canadian mouth and beady little eyes... I just grunt in response.
"you thought I was Kyle, right?" he asks sadly.
"Yeah, sorry." I half whisper, feeling pretty dumb.
"Don't be. But you probably wouldn't recognize him anymore." he seems hesitant.
"Yeah, I heard. Emo, right?" I reply distantly.
"More than you know. But if you've heard, why did you think I was him?" There was a long moment of silence as I tried to start thinking properly again.
"I dont know, I guess just hoping Kenny was lying." I again speak much softer than I realized. He looks at me sadly.
"If you need to see him I can sneak you in." he offers with a shrug. Finally my mind begins to turn again, and I clear my throat.
"Yeah, but not just yet. Kenny and I are going to get the group back, but we have to start with Stan." I put my hands in my pockets awkwardly.
"Alright man, count me in!" he grins up at me. I pause for a while. It's not like he looked anything like Kyle, but that damn hat... It's going to keep throwing me off.
"This could really help Kyle, I'm in." he tells me more seriously.
"Ok, fine. I'm doing some recon right now, I guess you can come with." I'm looking at his hat the whole time. He sighs, pulling it off his head, exposing his thin black mess.
"I can put it in my backpack for now?" he offers, looking at me curiously. I just nod, then lead the way back toward the high school.
"So are you back for good?" he asks me hopefully. I give him a strange look.
"Yeah, it seems that way. Why?" he grins up at me.
"Just checking. Come on, I've seen Stan and his friends hanging out at this sub shop around the corner after every practice. They'll probably be here soon." Ike leads me over to a small sandwich shop, and we sit down in the far corner.
"So what are trying to find out?" he asks, leaning towards me from across the table. I shrug.
"Anything. Weaknesses, things that have changed, signs that some things might be the same. We're observing." I reply a I flip through the menu. A minute later a large noisy group walks in.
"YEAH! We are going to dominate North Park!"
"They don't stand a chance with Stan the man as quarter back!" I roll my eyes. Jocks are so lame. I peak over the menu, watching as Stan, Clyde, Token, and Kevin took up a large table.
I pulled a scrap of paper out my pocket and began scribbling down some notes. Ike chuckles before taking a full notebook out his bag and setting it in front of me. I look up at him in surprise.
"Very nice, Ike." after about half an hour of note taking, my phone starts ringing.
"Hey Kenny." I answer quickly.
"Uh, hey Eric, it's Jack." I paused.
"Jack? What?" I asked rudely. He was interrupting important work.
"Mr. Motishimo just called me, he asked to talk to you about the conference this year." he told me nervously.
"Well what did you say?" I practically snapped.
"I told him you weren't at the office at the moment and that I'd let you know to call him back. So, yeah, if you plan to keep working with his company, you better call him." I sighed.
"Ok, thanks Jack." I said before hanging up. Ike raised an eyebrow.
"Unrelated." I said quickly, before noticing Stan was walking this way.
"Damn! We've been spotted..." I muttered to Ike.
"Oh my god. Cartman?" Stan gaped. I stood up in front of him.
"Oh my god, Stan!" I mocked. He was about my height, maybe an inch or so taller, but his frame seemed thin and fragile, unlike my own beastly build.
"What are you doing back?" he asked, still looking shocked.
"Moved back here yesterday."
"Damn dude, you look trim. You should sign up for football this year." he grinned. I rolled my eyes.
"Football's for fags man, hockey's my sport." I shrugged. He stared at me for a minute, before looking past me to Ike.
"Oh no. No, I told you, no. I'm done, it's not happening." he told us firmly.
"What's not?" I asked, turning to look at a slightly red Ike.
"Kyle. He's not my problem anymore, ok? I tried, but he doesn't want help. I don't care what scheme the two of you have come up with, the answer's no." he crossed his arms.
"Aw, come on Stan!" Ike begged, walking over to us.
"It's not even a scheme! More like a... Reunion. With booze." I tried. Stan just rolled his eyes.
"So what, you me Kenny and Ike are just going to kidnap Kyle and throw a party for him? Do you have any idea how stupid that is?" he growled at me. I rolled my eyes.
"No ones being kidnapped!"
"Then good luck getting him there!" Stan laughed. Ok, now I'm getting pissed.
"Come on Stan, you were emo once, you know what it's like!" I reminded him.
"I was goth for less than a week! He's been emo for over three years! There's nothing I can do, so I'm out. He doesn't want our help." he argued with a snarl. This was going to be harder than I thought...
"Come on Stan, it's just a small gathering. Just the four of you." Ike nearly begged.
"He won't come." He crossed his arms stubbornly.
"Ok, but if we can convince him to come, can we count you in?" I bargined. Stan paused, thinking it through.
"If he wants to come with, then fine. But only if it's his decision." he looks pissed as he turns to catch up with his friends outside.
"Sweet." I mutter in relief.