I'm staring at the ground as I make the journey back home. I had this terrible feeling in my gut, and even though I couldn't quite place it, I decided it must be anger. I silently vow to beat Craig to shit the next time I see him. I glance out over Stark's pond.
"Speak of the devil.." I mutter as I see Kenny and Craig arguing on the other side of the pond.
"Come on Ken, don't be like that, you know how this works."
"I just think you could have told me that you're fucking Kyle."
"We aren't fucking!"
"You still should have told me!"
"I thought it would upset you!"
"No shit it upset me!"
"Craig!" I yell out. My bloods pumping and rage is driving my skin. The two turn to me.
"Woah, Cartman, man, it's not what you think" Craig starts. I smile evilly at the smaller boy.
"Yeah why don't you tell me about it while I beat your brains out. You know, good way to pass the time." I say as I grab his collar.
"Look, he owes me four hundred dollars! We compromised!" he squealed out as I gripped him tighter.
"How many blowjobs you get for four hundred?" I ask, lifting him off the ground simply because I could. He looks desperately to Kenny, who still just looks shocked.
"Craig! Answer me." I demanded in a quiet yet forceful tone. Finally he looks up at me. He has a look of determination, or maybe acceptance. He knows I'll beat him to shit no matter what he says.
"normally it's about twenty bucks a visit. But for Kyle I'd pay fifty." and that was it. No more taunting, no more questions, all I could see was red until I felt Kenny pulling back on my arm, trying to stop me from throwing another punch. I look down at the bloody wheezing mess of Craig laying in the snow. I stand up, flipping through my wallet. I toss four hundred on the ground in front of him.
"If I ever see you near Kyle again... No one will be able to stop me." I spit before walking away.
My arms were shaking as I walked back towards my house. God, I wanted to kill him so bad... I glance over my shoulder, considering going back and finishing the job. Kenny was sitting in the snow, holding Craig's head in his lap. I rolled my eyes. Figures.
When I got home I slammed the door behind me. My nerves were still on fire, and my adrenalin was still pumping fiercely. I yelled out in frustration before punching the wall next to me. I pulled my fist out of the wall before pacing the living room a few times.
Craig dominated my Jew. Craig. I growled again, cursing this drive in my bones. I needed to calm down. I got on the floor, and started doing pushups. It was dumb, but it's what Jack use to do when he was pissed, and I have to admit, it did help a little. I kept at it until my mind went numb, and even then I waited until my muscles followed suit. Finally I collapsed back against the wall.
"Stupid Jew." I half whispered.
The door rattled for a minute before my mom walked in.
"Is everything ok hun?" she asks, eyeing the hole in the wall.
"Yeah mom." I place my palms against my eyes.
"I'm having a reunion party-thing tomorrow." I told her as she took some groceries into the next room.
"That's nice hun." she hummed. I waited a long minute before walking over to her.
"meeem?" I started in my best little kid voice.
"can you pick up some alcohol for my party?" I hope to god my voice is cute enough.
"Oh, I don't know hun, aren't you and your friends under age?" shes still focused on the groceries.
"how much do you need to buy a bottle of vodka, a case of Mickey's, and some jäger mister?"
"Eric, sweetie, I don't think-"
"You'll probably need about three hundred?" I added in my normal voice. If all else failed I could always bribe her. She stopped what she was doing before looking over at me.
"Tomorrow?" she asks guiltily.
"Thanks Meem! You're the best!" I reply back in my childish voice. I walk back to my room, staring at the drawing board. I began tearing it down piece by piece. I didn't really need it begin with.
The next morning I woke up early. The guys were probably not even half done with the school day. I sighed loudly as I clicked my phone shut. I suppose I should try to make my room more party friendly. I set up my laptop on top of one of my suitcases, and set up the other as a make shift table for snacks. Goddamn it I still needed to buy snacks. I checked the kitchen to see what my mom bought before getting myself ready and heading out. I skipped down the steps outside, and began heading towards the local grocery store. About half way there I heard a familar voice coming from around the corner.
"He's a total freak, you should have seen poor Craig when he came over last night. Honestly if it weren't for Kenny he could have died out there." I stood still, a little amused by Bebe's conversation.
"Does anyone know why he did it?" the other girl asked.
"No! Honestly, you thought Cartman was a psychopath back in grade school, you don't even want to see him now."
"Jesus, Stan's going over to his house tonight!"
"Well stop him! Even if they still all get along, Cartman's going to drag them all straight to Hell." I walked over, tilting my head slightly. Wendy looked at me from over Bebe's shoulder, turning pale.
"What's up ladies?" I asked with a smirk. Bebe jumped.
"Cartman! What the hell!" she squealed.
"And here I thought I had mellowed out in my old age." I laughed. Wendy blushed as Bebe looked furious.
"Like hell! I saw Craig last night! You could have killed him!"
"And I really wanted to."
"Why? What did Craig ever do to you? We've been cool to you!" Bebe whined. Pushing my chest, which only served to push her back a little.
"Oh come on, Craig had it coming. Prostitutions illegal." I pointed out. She gaped at me.
"So you beat him half to death?! What the fuck!"
"I could have turned him in to the police, but I think this got the message across better." I smile as Wendy leans towards Bebe.
"He's right, at least Craig's not in jail." she whispered.
"That doesn't make it right!" Bebe screeched.
"Jesus, Bebe, get that sand out of your vagina. It's not like Craig was right either." I shrug. The two glare at me before walking away. As they leave I see Wendy turn back to look at me.
"When the hell did Cartman get so hot?" I hear her say as they continue to walk away. I couldn't hear Bebe's reply, but she looked pissed. I laughed, shaking my head as I kept on my way to Jim's drug store.
I stopped off at the atm first. I spent all my cash savings yesterdaY, but thankfully I had been making quite a bit of money from my on going California schemes. After that I picked up some cheesey poofs and snacky cakes, as well as some soda. Kyle use to love orange crush. I stopped before picking up the case, wondering to myself how the hell I know that. I shake my head and grab the case anyways. I walked home with a case of orange crush in one hand, and a bag of junk food in the other. I wish I had a more comfortable place to throw this get together, maybe somewhere with an xbox, but at least I had a decent DVD collection. I hopped back up my stairs, placing the new snacks in the kitchen. My room was a still a little messy despite not having much in it. I began sorting through cloths, placing most of it back into the suitcase, and the rest in the hamper. I stopped as I picked up the folded poster my class in California made for me. After a moment of hesitation I taped it up on my ceiling, and fell back onto my sleeping bag. I laid there for a while, reading the random notes strangers had written me.
'Eric, you probably won't remember me, but I'll never forget you. I always felt like everything in my life was out to get me. Then you transferred in and got half the staff at school fired. The new staff is much more encouraging, and I have passed my classes ever since...'
'Eric, we watched you grow from a narsisitic fatty, to an apathetic hottie. You're still a cunt, but you'll be missed.'
'Eric, you are the strongest person I've ever met. I know you have a lot of personal issues as everyone does, but still you're always looking toward the future and planning your next step. Don't let anything hold you back.'
'Eric, you changed my life. I've been a pussy for as long as I've been alive, but when our class got held hostage last year you inspired me beyond belief. I'll never forget watching you take down that gunman. I knew one of the kids that died that day. His mom says shes always so thankful to you because of how many more kids could have died had you not acted. You are the coolest man alive.'
I laughed at that one pretty hard. The gunman had come to our school because I conned them out of eleven thousand dollars. Luckily they split up to look for me and I was able to take them out one at a time. That's what they get for buying stolen cars. My eyes wandered to the longest note that Keith had signed in his girly handwriting.
'Eric, you are by far the most infuriating person I've ever met. Your racist and sexist, and over all treat everyone around you like animals. I'm pretty sure you believe you're above every other human on earth. But somehow I can't argue with you. You somehow manage to pull off the most impossible schemes and even on the rare occasion that you get caught, you still manage to be above the law. You piss me off every day, but I can't imagine life without you. Over the last year I've known you, it's like you reached inside me and pulled the real me out. There's something amazing about you, and even though your ego's pretty massive, I hope you never forget that. I hope all the best for you in Colorado, and when you find him I want to hear all about it. Call me'
I sighed loudly. There's nothing to tell. Sure I could explain about Kyle's dark... strange... smallness... or how I had to bribe him with drugs to get him to hang out with me... But over all I didn't even know what was going on. I was in the middle of a plan and I had no endgame. That thought freaked me out quite a bit.
I checked my phone again, noting that I still had over an hour before I was suppose to meet the guys at the high school. Whatever, it's better than sitting around here. I hopped up, throwing on my jacket before leaving the apartment again.