"Hey Quincy, are you free for a second?" Hikaru asked as he walked upon his brother's ex-trainee.
Quincy looked around to see if he was. Having found that he was in fact free from the other students in the hall talking to him, he responded, "I'm free."
"Have you talked with Kaoru yet today?"
"Just for a moment this morning." Quincy hunched an eyebrow, "Why do you want to know?"
"No reason." Hikaru replied.
Quincy chuckled, "A Hitachiin twin acting without reason, I find that hard to believe."
"It's been known to happen." Hikaru glared at him.
"Right, and Kyoya-senpai acts without thinking." Quincy countered.
Hikaru rolled his eyes, why did he have to put up with this? "Can you help me or not?"
"What's in it for me?" Quincy said.
Hikaru's eyes narrowed as he seriously began to think that his brother trained the young host too well. "Let me rephrase that. If you don't help me, I can always tell Hibiki that…" Hikaru leaned close to Quincy's ear and whispered something into it.
Quincy's face became flushed and he began to look around the hall to make sure that no one else could have possibly heard, "You wouldn't tell him that!"
"I don't know, you seem to be the expert on us Hitachiin twins, you tell me." Hikaru said with a grin.
Quincy glared at the older boy for only a second before dipping his head in defeat. "What do you want to know?"
"What did you and Kaoru talk about this morning?" Hikaru asked.
"Just the normal stuff, you know classes, how the break went, not wanting to go to class." Quincy answered.
"He wasn't acting strange, was he?" Hikaru asked.
"Not that I noticed. Why, should he have been? Did something happen?" Quincy asked back.
Hikaru shook his head and smiled. "Nope. Thanks for the info Quincy. Your secret is safe with me by the way." Hikaru walked away with a chuckle and gave a small wave goodbye as Quincy buried his head under his arms. Of course Hikaru would keep the secret, it lost all of its weight of future blackmail of it was made public.
The week passed. Every night a knock would sound from the door, followed by the hushed whispers of Kaoru. The twins would fall asleep next to each other, but Hikaru would awaken the next morning alone. The days were filled with a growing awkward silence between the twins. All the people that Hikaru asked though had not noticed Kaoru acting any different, yet the pool for questioning was shallow as he made sure not to ask any more Host Club members so not to raise their suspicions or their hopes because the last thing he needed was a reenergized Tamaki. By Friday when Kaoru entered Hikaru's room and laid down on the bed Hikaru had had enough of not knowing. While they laid there in the darkness Hikaru finally asked, "Kaoru, why are you doing this?"
There was a brief pause before Kaoru answered, "Do you want me to go Hikaru?"
"No! No. It's just, you've been coming here every night this week, but during the day you don't even act like I exist. At least last week when we were fighting things weren't so confusing."
Kaoru shifted, and Hikaru knew that his brother was now facing away from him. "You're not the only one confused Hikaru. I feel drawn here every night. The urge grows until I come here. I've tried not to but it's no use."
"But you're gone every morning." Hikaru pointed out. "Then ignore me all day."
"I know. I want to be here, it's just that…" Kaoru paused. "I can't help but remember all that's gone on the past few months."
Hikaru rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to hide the frustration in his voice, "I've said I'm sorry Kaoru, what more you want? What else can I possible say? What can I do?"
"I don't know Hikaru. I can't help but wonder how things could have been different is all. What if we were just brothers? Or what if we were just lovers? Or what if we never fought?"
"What if? Kaoru, it was me thinking in 'what ifs' that tore us apart in the first place. Let's not think in what ifs." Hikaru answered back.
Kaoru didn't respond.
Hikaru rolled onto his side away from his brother, "Smooth move, Hikaru." He mumbled to himself. He stared blindly into the darkness until he drifted into an unsteady asleep.
Hikaru woke and stretched out on the bed. Once again his brother had gone before he had woken up. He dressed hurriedly and went down for breakfast. "Good morning Father." He said with a slight bow, not because of tradition or demanded respect but because he knew the action drove his modest father crazy. Hikaru grinned as his father's eyes jetted down to his plate. Hikaru then gave his mom a couple pecks on her cheeks, "Good morning Mom." He sat down next to his mother.
"Good Morning, Hikaru." Kaoru said looking up from his plate.
Hikaru was taken aback by his brother's greetings. His brother hadn't initiated a talk with him at the table for months. "Morn…ing"
Their mother looked at them and smiled, "Ending the silent treatment between you two? Whatever you two talked about the other night must have worked."
"Yeah…" Hikaru said looking down at the plate that had been placed in front of him.
"Sorry once again for yelling." Kaoru apologized.
"If it gets you two acting brotherly, or even civil towards each other again it is quite alright. I only wish you two had done it sooner." Their mother reasoned.
"Me too." The twins said in unison.
Mrs. Hitachiin looked at both of her sons, then looked at her husband and gave a large smile. The family was back together.
Kaoru sat on the edge of the roof perched on the ledge of the extravagant school blowing smoke out of his nose as he did during every lunch period. He looked down into the maze and saw a couple people moving about. One was a blond and the other was a brunette. He didn't know where his brother was however, as he wasn't prowling the maze during lunch as he often did. He told himself he didn't care, the knot in his stomach told him otherwise.
The roof door opened and the sound of footsteps caught Kaoru's attention. He turned and saw his brother walking over to him. "What are you doing up here?"
"Tamaki's been getting on my nerves. He's been slipping jasmine scented papers into my bag every day for the past week. It's made all my stuff reek. So I told him to meet me in the maze. Only thing is I didn't tell him where. He has a hard enough time making it to one set spot in there, so I figured I'd keep it general and watch him run around for a while."
Kaoru chuckled, "Consider yourself lucky, he's been putting sandalwood in mine."
Hikaru looked down at the maze and let out a soft chuckle, "I see he drug Haruhi with him."
"Yeah, they've already been out there for a bit. I bet she ditches him."
"You're on." Hikaru said.
"Tamaki-senpai, slow down, you've already ran this section twice. Hikaru isn't here." Haruhi tried to reason in vain.
"He said he'd be here, so he must be here." Tamaki said pushing apart the hedge the best he could in search of the missing twin.
"What makes you think that he'd actually show up?" Haruhi asked.
"He gave me his word." Tamaki said lifting his head towards the sky.
"And where did he say to meet?"
"In the maze."
"Anywhere more specific?"
Tamaki lowered his head a little, "No."
"When did he say to meet him?"
"At…lunch…"
Haruhi shook her head. She couldn't believe that Tamaki would still fall for such obvious tricks by the Hitachiins, which made it harder to believe that he was also among the top of his class. Perhaps it was just his excitability, or his unwavering optimism that had him wandering through the maze instead of seeing through the façade. Regardless of Tamaki's reason, Haruhi could detect the deceit and was having none of it. "That's it. I'm out of here." She began to walk off.
"Haruhi wait! I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Tamaki shouted.
Haruhi continued to walk away until she heard a voice shout out.
"DAMN IT!"
Kaoru quickly shifted his gaze from his pouting brother back to the maze. He could see both Tamaki and Haruhi staring up trying to find where the voice came from. Kaoru had to act fast. He flung himself backwards, but in his hasty attempt to escape he hit his brother knocking him down onto the roof with a thud.
"Why did you do that?" Hikaru groaned as his brother lay on top of him.
"They heard you and were looking for us." Kaoru whispered.
"You ok?" Hikaru asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Kaoru said, "Thanks for breaking my fall." Kaoru smiled at his brother.
Hikaru looked at his brother's smile and his heart warmed at the sight, it had been a while since he had seen such a large genuine smile on his brother, let alone that close. He wished he could see it as often as he once had, "Anytime."
"Up there!" Tamaki shouted as he pointed to the roof. "It's those damned devil twins! They set me up! When I get my hands on them they'll rue the day that…" Tamaki growled.
"Wait, did you say 'twins'?"
Tamaki paused his revenge speech, "What?"
"Twins? As in both of them?" Haruhi asked.
"Yes, what's your point?" Tamaki asked.
"They're actually together is what my point is." Haruhi responded.
With all traces of his previous rage vanished, Tamaki smiled and chirped, "Then my latest plan worked."
"Latest…plan? You told me you quit." Haruhi said.
"One never quits on family Haruhi. Sure they may have driven me mad and they may have tried running away, but I knew they'd be back." Tamaki explained.
"So what was your plan?"
"For the past week I've been sneaking aroma-therapy slips into their bags to calm and relax them. They must have calmed down and settled things." Tamaki explained, "like all my plans, this successfully brought two people together." Tamaki clasped his hands together and gave a large smile of adoration.
"What about all your other failed plans the past few months?"
Tamaki knelt down as darkness surrounded him, "they weren't failures…" he muttered, "just ways that didn't work."
"If you say so senpai."
The next morning when Haruhi walked into the class room she was hoping that the Twins would once more be in their old spots. She knew it was too much to ask for, yet part of her still hoped. Perhaps Tamaki's irrational optimism was infectious after all. That part of her that held the small flame of hope was quickly extinguished once she saw that Hikaru was still sitting away from Kaoru and herself, although the fact that he was already there provided the spark to relight the flame of hope.
"So Kaoru, have you and Hikaru patched things up?" Haruhi whispered.
"What makes you think that?" Kaoru scoffed.
"Tamaki and I saw you both on the roof watching us yesterday." Haruhi said.
Kaoru shook his head, "I was already up there, Hikaru just came up to watch you two scurry through the maze. It was just a coincidence."
Haruhi studied the younger twin's face but it was difficult to tell when he was lying, even after all the time she had spent with them. If anything spending that time with them made her less certain than before.
"Oh, and would you do me a favor and tell Tamaki to quit putting aromatherapy sheets in my bag, or at the very least have him switch to a scent that actually smells good?" Kaoru added.
Haruhi giggled, "I'll try."
That night Hikaru stared into the darkness where his brother was. He had been laying there for some time, unsure of what to do. He didn't want Kaoru to leave again. He wanted him to stay with him and not spirit away in the night as it pained his heart to wake up every morning alone. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to barricade the doors and bar the windows so his brother could not leave. Certainly the idea of even tying his brother to the bed had crossed his mind, but he knew the chances that either idea going over well was slim. He had taken actions to control their relationship before and after their backfire, he was no longer willing to gamble against his brother. It then proved that talking was the only option left for him to take.
"Thanks for telling Haruhi that I was just on the roof to watch them make fools of themselves." Hikaru suddenly regretted the wording of the sentence.
"Well it's the truth, isn't it?" Kaoru questioned.
Hikaru paused for only the slightest amount of time before answering, "Sure." Hikaru knew his brother noticed the pause as he could feel his brother's gaze come upon him.
"It was more than that?" Kaoru asked pushing himself onto an elbow intrigued by the notion that there was more to the story.
"What a guy can't go and visit his brother on the roof?" Hikaru asked in a playfully defensive manner.
Kaoru laughed, "That's nice Hikaru. Thanks." When he finished laughing he gave a joyful sigh and lay back down. "Goodnight Hikaru."
"Goodnight Kaoru." Hikaru replied softly.
After a few minutes of lying there in the darkness with inner turmoil raging, Hikaru slowly moved his arm towards the middle of the bed. He opened his hand and left it there in the middle of the bed as he had so many nights of his life.
Hikaru waited. And waited. And waited. Focusing on the beating of his chest to remind himself why he was setting himself up for failure. He sighed quietly to himself and began to pull his hand back when he felt it. His brother's hand in his. He felt his brother's fingers entwine with his. A sense of wholeness began to fill him, a feeling he had thought he had lost forever only weeks before. Though it was dark in the bedroom Hikaru would have sworn he saw his brother smile. Hikaru smiled back. He had missed this. He had missed his brother. He felt his weary and sore eyes begin to droop shut. Within a couple minutes he was sound asleep. Content at last.
Hikaru stretched out in the bed when he awoke the next morning and again met with no resistance. He didn't want to open his eyes to confirm what his hands and his heart already knew, causing him to question if the nights together were worth the mornings alone. But before he had a decision, he shifted in bed once more, and as he brought his hands back to his chest, they grazed against something. He opened his eyes and saw a small folded piece of paper lying on the bed. He grabbed the paper and looked at it. "Good Morning" Hikaru smiled. It wasn't his brother, but it was the best start to a day he had had in months.
The wind fluttered the pages of Kaoru's sketchbook but he kept on sketching. A new wave of ideas had been flooding his head the past few days, so instead of finding solace on the academy rooftop to smoke, he now sought it as a chance to put thoughts onto paper. As he busily sketched away in his book, he heard footsteps behind him. He began to hope that it was Hikaru back to visit him.
"It appears I'm not the only one that carries a little black book around."
Kaoru didn't turn around, "I've always carried it. I just didn't always keep my nose in it; I had better things to do."
Kyoya gave a chuckle, "Well it is hard to host and keep detailed notes at the same time."
"How did the last outfits go?" Kaoru asked.
"They were a great success. Your Egyptian Pharaoh for Tamaki set a new record at auction yesterday." Kyoya said.
"I'm glad people are enjoying them, I didn't think they'd be that popular though." Kaoru said stopping from his sketching.
"I'd expect nothing less from a Hitachiin. Although I would like to add that funding would increase if we had more hosts to wear them." Kyoya responded.
Kaoru shook his head, "You didn't come up here just to bring up an old sore subject did you?"
"I was just merely stating a fact, Kaoru. No harm meant." Kyoya reached into his jacket and pulled out his notebook. He opened it up and ripped out a page. "Here's a list of Tamaki's ideas for the next few weeks."
Kaoru took the list and glanced over it. "You've been leaving magazines on the boss's desk again haven't you?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?" Kyoya replied with the slightest of smirks.
Kaoru rolled his eyes and returned to his sketchbook. He was not the only one however as Kyoya began eagerly writing in his as well.
Hikaru lay on his bed; his brother's absence was glaring. It was already past two in the morning and his brother had yet come to bed. Hikaru thought back through the week's events and drew a blank on any that could have angered his brother. He even was continuing to wear pajamas, despite his contempt for them, just in an effort to keep his brother content. He slipped out of bed and tightened his pajama pants.
As Hikaru walked down the hall he noticed that light shone through the crack at the bottom of his brother's door. He was still awake. As he got closer he could hear his brother talking to someone. Hikaru knocked on the door. "Just a minute." came a quiet voice on the other side.
Hikaru waited in the dark hallway for a couple minutes before the door opened and his brother's head poked out. "Who were you talking to at this hour?" Hikaru inquired.
"Sorry, I was on the phone ordering material." Kaoru replied as he walked back into his room and took a seat at his desk.
"Who does business at two in the morning?" Hikaru asked stepping into his brother's bedroom.
"People who work internationally." Kaoru answered as he scribbled something down on a piece of paper, "It's only 10 in the morning in America."
"What's in America that you can't get here at a decent hour of the day?" Hikaru asked slightly agitated.
"Hats." Kaoru quipped.
Hikaru shook his head, "Not buying it. Pretty sure, America doesn't have a monopoly on hats; they make them around the world if I recall correctly."
Kaoru sighed, "I wanted authentic hats."
"Why do you need hats so badly that you'll stay up all night to get them?" Hikaru questioned.
"They're not for me. They're for the Host Club." Kaoru answered.
Hikaru rubbed his forehead, "I don't know why you still associate with them, we quit remember."
"Same reason you still work on the website." Kaoru countered.
Both twins nodded, "Good for business." The twins exchanged looks accusing the other of sounding like a certain someone before smiles began to grow on their faces.
After a moment however their smiles faded and Kaoru asked his brother "Do you ever miss it, Hikaru?"
Hikaru looked away.
Kaoru stood up from his desk and walked over to his brother. He slipped his hand into his brother's and squeezed it tightly. "It's okay, I do too."
The twins stood there, enjoying the moment between them. That is until Kaoru let out a large moment killing yawn. "I need to get to bed."
Hikaru nodded, "I second that." He began to walk to the door, but stopped when he noticed his brother wasn't walking with him. "Coming Kaoru?"
"I just want to take a quick shower first. I'll be there in a few minutes." Kaoru replied.
Hikaru nodded and made his way to his bedroom but stopped. He heard the bathroom door close, and he turned back around. He crawled onto his brother's bed. His old bed. Their old bed.
After a few minutes Kaoru came out of the bathroom and noticed his brother on the bed. "Hikaru, I thought you had left already."
"I thought we could sleep here tonight with it being so late, if that is fine with you." Hikaru proposed.
Instead of answering with words, Kaoru answered with deeds by turning off the light and crawling into bed. "Goodnight Hikaru."
"Goodnight Kaoru."
Together they laid in the darkness, waiting for sleep to overtake them. But both found that their minds were suddenly racing with too many thoughts to have drifted to sleep. Both of them lay there, knowing the other was awake as well, yet unable to bring themselves to talk.
Finally, Hikaru broke the silence. "Hey Kaoru…"
"Yeah?" Kaoru replied quietly.
"I've been thinking this past week about what you said. About how you wonder how our lives could be different if our circumstances were different." Hikaru paused, to make sure that his brother remembered the conversation.
Kaoru did remember. He had replayed that conversation through his head so many times, each time wishing he hadn't bothered to bring it up. Each time cursing the words that escaped his lips. After all they were just ideas that had been safely in his head prior till then, "What about it?"
"I think I know what to say now." Hikaru answered.
"…" Kaoru waited for his brother to continue. But he didn't, which forced Kaoru to prod him into it, "and?"
"I still think they're silly." Hikaru said frankly.
"Gee, thanks a lot." Kaoru scoffed, turning away from his brother.
"Wait, you didn't let me finish. I think they're silly because no matter what possible outcomes you think of, I can't change the past to make them come true. I can only tell you that from this point on, our future can be bright. You thought of us not being brothers, yet we can do nothing to change the fact that we've always been twins and always will be. I can only change and be the brother you need me to be. And as for the last thing…" Hikaru paused. "We can never 'just be' lovers. We will always have other connections, other labels that we'll never be able to shed. But it is something that we can work on together. We can create our own definition for what we are. We just have to agree if it is something we would both like to do."
The twins laid there in silence. Eventually Hikaru took the unbearable silence as a hint.
"You don't have to decide now. Take as long as you need to." Still not getting a response, either positive or negative, Hikaru knew when to leave so he rolled over and got out of bed. "I'll go now."
Hikaru felt a shaky hand grab his arm, "Don't leave me." Kaoru said, his words trembling as much as his hand.
Hikaru allowed himself to be pulled gently back into bed, "never again." When his brother stopped pulling him, they were closer than they had been in months. Kaoru's head rested against his brother's chest. His skin prickled and his muscles twitched at the long desired feel of his brother's breath once more against his skin. He reached out and put his arm around his brother. "Goodnight Kaoru."
Kaoru nestled his head further against his brother's chest. "Goodnight Hikaru."
Author's Notes: So, I came to the realization that I love ending chapters in bed. The characters in bed, not me. Well I guess technically I did write them while I was in bed but that's not what I meant. I'm sorry if I created some strange behavioral problem where you start associating characters in bed with chapters ending. I just feel that the bedroom can convey so much because the it is just filled with so much symbolism.
Furthermore, if you are wondering what Hikaru threatened Quincy with it's complicated. It started off going to be that Quincy had a crush on Hibiki. Then in turned into Quincy was secretly dating Hibiki's sister (who you may have noticed isn't even in the story) then it was that Quincy's family was going to buy out Habiki's family company, (I may have thought of more details for Hibiki and Quincy than what actually made it into the story). Maybe it is a mega secret combination of all three that Quincy was sent to romance Habiki's sister so the purchase might go smoothly but Quincy fell in love with the very straightforward Habiki instead. You might see now why I just had it as a hushed whisper. But I don't see any reason why someone can't put anything into that silence. Do you have another idea of what Hikaru could have threatened Quincy with? Let me know if you do have an interesting idea as I'd love to hear them. Also 10 bonus points to anyone who knows what show I am referencing also at the beginning of that scene.
Ratty4949: So here is the straw that you so desperately needed after last week's milk. But now I fear that you'll want a napkin. Am I right? ;) And to be honest, what you expected the story to be was what it was actually going to be. Fluff, humor and mindless sexy twincest smut. Then my imagination said, "That's all fine and dandy but wouldn't it be better if this happened." And not to be rude to the voice in my head, I replied, "Yes that is a splendid idea." It then kind of snow balled from there. The behind the scenes mostly inner dialogue of writing this story has been quite the exciting trip looking back at it and it makes me wonder how I made it this far without crashing and burning.
AnimeFreaksAreBetter: More fluffiness for you. :)
Daringly Delightful: So I'll admit before writing this story that I too would have thought that Kaoru (or anyone) would have been quick to forgive but as I wrote and reflected on my own past events that I came to realize that sometimes forgiveness can't just be given as easily as we suspect or hope, that it can come in stages. Anyways, thank you for all of your support I am so glad to have such dedicated readers as yourself.
EternalFalsity: I may have whacked my head against the table when you mentioned Hikaru trapping Kaoru in the room. I am not pleased to say that I did not think of that, as it is something that I feel should be addressed. So I added that little blurb. Thank you as always for your kind and encouraging words. And of course thank you once again for recommending that I watch Nagi no Asukara.
LadyKayla: It is nice to see you back. Glad that you enjoyed the past few chapters. And it is I that should be thanking you for reading this story.