A/N: And the madness continues! This was a really fun chapter to write.
Chapter 3
Intruder Alert!
When Hermione came back into the kitchen after changing into a different and darker pair of jeans, she wasn't surprised to find every Weasley there staring at her uncertainly. The awkwardness over what had transpired just minutes earlier clearly still hung in the air.
"I'm fine," Hermione reassured them with a smile, but as she did, she subconsciously rubbed a hand over her butt. In truth, it still smarted a bit from Nigel's bite. So she sat back down in her seat as gently as she could.
"We decided to keep Nigel outside in his dog house for the remainder of your visit, anyhow," Albert informed Hermione. "Better safe than sorry."
Hermione glanced over at the backdoor and saw Nigel looking through the window panes in it. He had his tongue out like nothing had even happened between the two of them. Either that or it was a sign that he was eager to pick up where he left off. Hermione shuddered at the thought, nodded her appreciation and the rest of lunch passed in silence.
At the conclusion of the meal, Jack and Abby went away to Jack's room while Hermione and Ron helped Albert and Gwen clear the table. Soon afterwards, it was time for the parents to go into work.
"It seems the Ministry hates to be short-staffed," said Albert in front of the living room fireplace.
"We should be back no later than six," assured Gwen as she took a handful of Floo Powder from a pot filled with it which sat on a nearby table. Her husband did the same. "Hopefully, Jack and Abby won't give you too much trouble."
"I'm sure we'll be alright," said Ron dismissively.
"Dinner will go better, I'm sure," joked Albert halfheartedly. He looked at Hermione, who went red slightly. Simultaneously, Albert and Gwen shouted out "The Ministry of Magic!" and in a flash of green, the two adults vanished from the spot.
The ticking of a Grandfather Clock in a corner was the only sound left behind in their wake. The time read 1:05 p.m., which meant that Hermione and Ron were in charge of the children for the next four hours or so.
"Let's look for my wand some more," Hermione suggested instantly. Without waiting for a reply, she took hold of Ron's hand and pulled him upstairs to her room to resume the search.
This time, Hermione dumped out the contents of her bag over the bed so that she and Ron could sift through everything in case her wand might have lodged itself in the crease of a shirt or pair of pants. But it didn't take long for them to realize Hermione's wand was indeed nowhere to be found.
"Since this is you we're talking about, I won't even bother asking if you're sure you packed it," Ron sighed exasperatedly as he laid back on the bed and spread both arms wide.
"I just don't understand!" Hermione grunted in frustration. "I don't see how it cou-" A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Wait. Jack was the one who brought my bag up here earlier."
Ron sat back up and shared a look with his girlfriend that silently showed his understanding, but he voiced the question anyway. "You think Jack stole your wand?"
Hermione shrugged. "He brought my bag in here, my wand was definitely inside it at the time and now it's gone. What other explanation is there?"
Ron exhaled heavily. "As always, you make sense." He lifted himself up from the bed. "Alright, then, I'll go have a chat with him." Ron started to walk out of the room, but Hermione put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Wait, maybe I should be the one to do it."
"Why?"
"Because that way, he'll know I'm not upset about it and won't feel too frightened about telling the truth." As always, it was a common Hermione Granger logical answer.
Ron gazed at her questioningly. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I promise I'll be gentle with him," Hermione said while patting Ron's arm in reassurance.
He nodded and went to sit back down on the bed as Hermione stepped into the hallway. Jack's room was on the right side of the hallway, the second door down from the top of the staircase. Hermione quickly crossed the hallway to reach it, and noticed the door was slightly ajar. She was about to knock on the door when the sound of Jack and Abby talking on the other side made her halt in mid-action.
"Soaking Hermione's underwear in meat so that Nigel would bite her on the butt was a brilliant idea, Jack!" giggled Abby.
"And him ripping her pants like that ... that was perfect!" Jack said between chuckles. "Did you see her bum?" He was laughing fully now.
What in the name of Merlin?! Hermione stood rigid with shock at what she was hearing for a moment, then she decided to press herself up against the wall so she could continue eavesdropping.
The laughter carried on for a good thirty seconds before it eventually died down.
"So, what are we going to do to her next?" asked Abby.
"Here, let me show you," replied Jack. "And to make things better, she won't be able to use magic to get out of it since I took her wand."
Carefully, Hermione peered through the crack in the doorway from her vantage point, where there was a direct line of sight to a mirror mounted on one of Jack's walls. The reflection in said mirror showed Jack and Abby sitting on Jack's bed and Jack handing a piece of paper to his sister. Abby looked over what was on that paper and grinned.
"Well then, we should get to work!" she declared.
The two kids got off the bed and began moving towards the door. Hermione took that as her cue and scurried away on tiptoe and made for her room as fast as she could. She wasn't sure if either Jack or Abby saw her before she was able to close her own door; she was just concerned about not being right beside them when they came out.
"So ... did he take it?" Ron inquired once Hermione had returned.
Hermione's mind was still racing from what she'd just discovered. Nigel going after me was a prank? But ... why would they ...?
"He did," she finally said, in effect snapping herself out of her reverie. "But I also discovered something else."
"What?"
Hermione hesitated momentarily as she tried figuring out the best way to word what was on her mind. Then, she thought back to earlier in the backyard, when Ron had acted surprised at Jack and Abby's supposed acceptance of her. "Ron," she began slowly, "are you sure there's not anything about Jack and Abby you want to tell me about? Something maybe I should know? Something about how they ... treat new people, perhaps?"
The way Ron's face went from curious to knowing confirmed Hermione's suspicions. "Er ... why would you ask that?"
The fact that he seemed to be dancing around the subject started to slightly annoy Hermione. "Oh, I don't know. It could be because I was just outside Jack's door and overheard him and Abby congratulating themselves on soaking my knickers in meat so that Nigel would attack me like he did." She raised an eyebrow sternly when Ron tried to pass off a bit of laughter as a cough. "Why don't you seem all that surprised?"
Ron cleared his throat. "I wasn't in on that in case you were thinking so," he said before pausing momentarily. "Alright, confession time. Jack and Abby ... well, they have sort of a reputation. Only, nobody else really knows about it. You see, whether it be a few select family members, babysitters or new people brought home to meet the family - like you - when it comes to those people, let's just say they like to take more than one page out of Fred and George's book."
Hermione nodded while crossing her arms. "And you didn't think that was something I should've known about before coming here? You know how I feel about pranks! I think they're stupid and juvenile."
"Well, in my defense, Jack and Abby really seemed to like you, so I wasn't worried about it." Ron went over and opened the bedroom door. "Look, we can go and talk to them together. I'm sure we can convince them to stop before they do anything else."
Hermione was about to agree when a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Or not ..." She elaborated upon seeing the look Ron gave her. "Jack still has my wand, most likely hidden in his room. And I'd like to have it in my possession when we talk to them."
"So, you're just going to go into his room and find it? That's sneaky."
"So was soaking my knickers in meat!" Hermione fired back. "We'll see how he likes others doing things behind his back!"
"Okay, but remember, they are still my cousins," said Ron as he and Hermione stepped out into the hallway. "So maybe not too much unbridled anger."
Hermione thought she heard a scuffle of movement near the top of the stairs, but ignored it. "I'm great with kids ... as long as they behave." She stopped in front of Jack's bedroom door. "Anyway, get them ready. I shouldn't be too long."
Ron parted company with her and went downstairs. Hermione took an extra moment, breathed in, opened the door and stepped into the room. Once inside, she closed the door as stealthily as she could. It was then that Hermione got her first good look at Jack's room.
If she hadn't known any better, she could've sworn it was Ron's room. Hermione noticed many similarities, not just in the decor, but also in how it was arranged. It was the kind of similarity that inspired goosebumps.
"No wonder the two of them get along so well." Hermione shook her head and refocused on the task at hand. "Now ... if I were Jack, where would I hide a wand?" She kept her gaze trained on everything at eye-level.
If she had looked down, then Hermione would've noticed a length of red string that stretched from the bottom of the dresser pushed up against the left wall and ended at one of the posts of Jack's bed. Her lower right leg unknowingly made contact with the string, which released it from the bedpost and made it zip across the floor and up the length of the dresser. Hermione didn't notice it until it was too late.
The other end of the string, as it turned out, was connected to a switch on a portable radio mounted on top of the dresser. And once the string had traveled all the way up, the switch was flipped. The radio was then turned on, and noise burst through the speaker.
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! YOU ARE TRESPASSING! INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"
It was a looped recording of Jack's voice and it rang throughout the room like the siren that it was. The "alarm" was so loud, it made Hermione cover her ears, but it was only then that she realized it was obviously loud enough to filter out into the rest of the house.
Hermione hurriedly tried to flip the radio off, but found that the switch was apparently stuck in the "On" position. Overcome with panic, Hermione did the first thing that came to mind: run. She placed her hand on the doorknob, but was immediately met with the surprising sensation of electrical jolts.
"Yeow!" She jerked her hand away and shook it to relieve the stinging. I can't get out! she realized in horror. Whereas just a few seconds ago, a single word occupied her thoughts, it had now been replaced with a new one: hide. The silliness of such an idea didn't matter at the moment; it was purely out of instinct.
The first thing that caught her eye was the closet, so she headed there. The moment she opened the double doors, however, Hermione wished she hadn't.
From above, a Quaffle attached to another piece of string swung down with enough velocity that when it hit Hermione square in the face, it literally made her feel dazed and off-balance. Vaguely, she registered her right foot pressing down on something that might have been a loose floorboard, so the fact that a second Quaffle shot out at her from the closet shouldn't have surprised her so much. This one, however, nailed her in the crotch, causing her to double over.
"Ooooof!"
Hermione was still doubled over by the time the second Quaffle came back for another collision, and the resulting blow to the face was enough to send her stumbling clumsily backwards until she landed face-down on Jack's bed. After a moment, she raised her head to shake it of the foggy feeling while registering the still-ringing alarm. Hermione slowly looked to her left and saw the headboard of the bed, and noticed something peculiar about it. In-between two shelving areas meant for books, there was a piece of wood that looked like it slid either way and thus had a secret storage space behind it. And it seemed a likely candidate for a place to hide a stolen wand.
As long as I'm here, I might as well check.
Hermione maneuvered herself on the bed so that she was lying stomach-down on it from top to bottom and was facing the headboard. Slowly, she let her fingers move the headboard to the right, thus indeed revealing a hidden compartment. But what was inside was not what she expected - nor wanted - to find.
All she was able to make out was a small device of some sort before Hermione was sprayed in the face with something she closed her eyes for as it got her. Whatever it was, it was thick and gooey and when she ran a finger across her face, it came back red.
Hermione looked over at the mirror and saw that her face was now covered in some sort of red goo which had molded to her face perfectly, making her look like a cartoon character who was very angry. Not too far off from her actual feelings at the moment when all was said and done.
"That little ..." Hermione grunted and scooted down the bed until her legs hung over the edge. She stood up, but instantly regretted it.
Rather than meeting solid and stable ground, the soles of Hermione's feet came into contact with multiple round objects that caused her to fight to retain her balance while flailing her arms wildly. Hermione quickly looked down to see what she was slipping on, and saw something that took her by surprise.
Spread across this area of the floor were multiple marbles - she could tell by the shine and hardness - but these marbles were unique in that they resembled human eyes. And to make things even weirder, every one of them was staring right at Hermione. They weren't only staring; they were blinking, too. She was still flailing about, but could sense the imminence of falling. Seconds later, it indeed happened but before her fall to the left, she felt one of the marbles burst underneath her foot, and it released an oozing red liquid all too similar to blood.
Hermione landed on the floor on her back with a thud, but beneath her, she felt and could see something she could only barely register before the next trap was sprung. She had fallen into the middle of what was obviously a giant net, and it didn't take long for said net to spring into action by closing up around Hermione and hauling her up to hang from the ceiling. But just like the marbles which resembled eyeballs, this net was no ordinary net.
As Hermione hung there, trapped, she noticed that the strings encasing her were more ... leathery than usual. Not only that, but they moved. And hissed.
The net was made up of live snakes.
They were typical garden snakes and nothing particularly poisonous, but being encased in a net made up of snakes wasn't a desirable experience for Hermione. She had to move around carefully as she did her best to avoid a few who tried to nip at her. Just then, the door of Jack's room opened of its own volition and Hermione took the opportunity to use her best option at the moment.
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.