In the month that we spent at the Former Recon Corps HQ, Eren remained distant from me. Perhaps part of the reason was because there was always someone else around, but I couldn't help but feel that Eren was dragging on our "game" for too long.
Does he have any idea how tired of all this I am? But, surely, he is also tired from various things. In many of our previous "lives" we have had very different and extreme circumstances, but in this "life", where Eren possesses this weird power, he must feel more isolated than ever. Until now we have always been able to reach out to each other, but now I feel at such a loss when he won't even give me the chance.
Why won't he let me? He must be under so much pressure. Is he that afraid of the others finding out? Is he worried for my sake?
Even that time in our 33rd "life", when his daughter died from illness, I was there to support him and his wife. Even when he injured his spine in the accident in our 51st "life", I nursed him until we died. Why won't he let me help him like I have before?
I see him in the distance, talking with Gunther, weeding with Petra, cooking with Eld and being bullied by Oluo. I miss him. He's right there, but he won't come here. In this "life", more than any previous one, I yearn for Eren's presence.
.
.
And then it happened.
.
.
Petra…
Oluo…
Eld…
Gunther…
Why did you all die?
You were my strongest, most precious comrades…Why did you die?
Is it because I ordered you to protect Eren? Is it because I didn't do that myself, so you all had to die? I'm sorry...…...I'm so sorry... ... ...…... ...