Eren…please…at least be by my side during a time like this…
I leave my room to look for Eren, but he isn't in his room. I go to the dining hall, but he's not there either. Then I can hear, faintly, the sound of someone crying. I follow the sound and find Eren scrunched in a small ball, sitting on the floor in the corridor, wailing.
"petr…oluo…el….unther…...im sorry…sorry…...sorry im sorry…why…why didyou whydidnt i…why…...sorry...no...noNOOOOOOOOOOOO WHYYYYYY imsosorry...…..."
.
.
Who is this? This isn't Eren…this isn't the Eren I know. This…...is only a 15 year old boy, not the Eren who has lived 4000 years with me. Who is this?
In our many many past "lives", we have lost many loved ones and comrades, as well as each other, countless times. We have even participated in war. Each time we grieve and despair, but this child in front of me is suffering over the guilt for the lost lives of his comrades who died because of him. No…they died because of me, because I told them to protect Eren when I should have been…but where is Eren? Who should I be protecting? Who did they die protecting?
Who is this?
Who are you?
If you are not the Eren I know, where is he? Who are you?
Why?
Why?
I don't remember any "life" where you didn't have your memories. Why don't you have them? Since when? This whole time? Eren hasn't been here this whole time? It was you? Who are you?
In this moment which felt like eternity, I was struck with fear.
Fear that I wouldn't meet Eren…something that had felt so extremely natural and obvious for so very long, is now somewhere beyond my reach. Will I spend the rest of this "life" not meeting Eren? Will I ever meet Eren? I want to meet Eren…more than ever before…please Eren, don't leave me alone in this messed up world…