Author's Note

Rated T for swearing

"Corporal! Yeager's movements appear to be slowing down, he should retreat!"

"Focus on your own battle! Take care of the two 7m Classes coming near Eren from behind!"

"Yes Corporal!"

"Corporal! I agree with Jonathan that we should have Yeager retreat!"

"Shut up! I said to focus on your own battle!"

"But Yeager is-"

"This is an ALL OUT battle, you understand, Carl?"

Dammit…

"Yes Corporal…"

Dammit all…

"Concentrate our forces in the centre! Heath and Anna go and lure the 15m Classes towards Eren!"

Dammit dammit dammit…

"Corporal! Yeager has fallen! We have to save him before more Titans reach him!"

"We can take care of these Titans, Corporal, please go save Yeager!"

"Carl, let's go lure those Titans away from Yeager!"

"LEAVE HIM!"

"But Corporal!"

"You should all understand what it means to be a soldier. Go and wipe out those Titans gathering around Eren. Do not think of saving him."

Dammit all! Eren…I…

"With all due respect, if I can't save him then I'll protect him, Corporal!"

NO! You'll die!

"He's getting up! Yeager is getting up!"

"Can he still fight?!"

"But he's already defeated at least ten Titans!"

"Fight Yeager! Fight!"

Fight Eren…fight so that I can still see you for one last time after all this!

.

.

After defeating an estimated 40 Titans, Eren once again collapses to the ground. The few remaining soldiers form a circle around his Titan body, and fight the Titans as they are lured over from all directions by Eren's flesh. Despite the reliable formation, soldiers are clearly being pressured after four hours of fighting. Just as all hope seems lost, Erwin arrives with his team, who had been separated from us because of a group of Abnormal Titans. With their added manpower, finally, the last Titan is slain.

.

.

"Eren…"

I call out to him, even though I can't even sense a breath. I managed to drag him out of his Titan form without injuring him, but it is clear that he has blunt injuries and internal bleeding from the battle. His heart is still beating, barely, but he's not healing anymore.

"Eren…it's over…we're free now."

I don't even know which "Eren" I'm calling out to anymore. I just know that I want him to open his eyes, to know that freedom is within this world's grasp. To know that he helped them grasp it.

"…Eren…" I was looking down at his face this whole time, but, losing hope, I pull his limp body up to hug him.

"...evi…"

"EREN!" Almost dropping him out of joy, I pull his body back again to look into his weak, clouded eyes.

"…Corporal Levi…"

Shocked, I stare at him blankly for a second.

"Are you…Eren?"

"…Yes…Corporal…Eren Yeager, only 25 years of memories, reporting…for duty…"

"Eren!" I pull him in again, into a tight hug, even though I should be handling his body carefully. My eyes are hot, and soon my vision is blurred.

"…Corporal…its…good to see you. I'm so glad you're…alive….gla…that I…protected you…"

"So were you the one fighting?"

"…No, at first it was the "Eren" of your past "lives" fighting. But "he"….died. The "Eren" with 81 "lives'" worth of memories…died, but…"I"…"my" memories…still wanted to fight. So I got up again and kept…fighting…Corporal…"

"Yes?"

"…I'm sorry…for taking "Eren" away from you. I…don't really get it, but I could see "Eren's" memories…You were looking…for "him" in this "life", weren't you? ...But "he" wasn't…here…"

"Eren, it's okay. I'm glad that I could meet you. Did I ever tell you? I love you, Eren. I love you."

"…Haha…even though you've tol me…so many times…befo… I'm sti… so happy, Corpo….thank you….thank…"

"No Eren, I should be thanking you. Thank you for fighting with me till the end, and thank you…for coming to see me one last time."

"…It's…not…last time. My mem…ories are…insid of "Eren"…so in your nex "life"…even…whe you…can't see…me…I…be…"

"You're right Eren, even when I don't see you, you'll always be with me, won't you. Thank you, Eren."

.

.

"Good night, Eren."

.

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-owari-

Author's Note

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand its finally finished. omg. why. did. this. become. so. long! And I can't believe it has so many views aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR READING ALL OF THIS! And THANK YOU to those who so very kindly reviewed and favourited; it really motivated me to properly write the story. I really hope that you found this story interesting.

I have, for some unfathomable reason, poured my heart out into a super duper long Author's Note. It was also partly written for my own future reference, but if you can be bothered do feel free to read on.

I am painfully aware of how poorly written this fan fiction is. Firstly, the TENSE. I must apologise for the horrible use of tense in this whole story, and especially from Chapter 2 - 5. To be honest, I was just so desperate to get my ideas onto the page that I didn't have time to be thinking about tense. But once the ideas were on the page, I just really couldn't be bothered correcting it anymore...I'm so sorry m(_ _)m

Second, somewhere along the line things just went way off track. Wait, did I say "along the line"? No I meant that there was probably never a track to begin with. Same as above, I was so desperate to get my ideas down, that there is almost no correlation between each of the chapters, both in terms of style and content. Not to mention that the characters are probably very OOC (especially Hanji, I felt). Doubly sorry m(_ _)m m(_ _)m

An important thing I forgot to mention is that I have not read the manga! This is allll purely my imagination (delusion, to be more accurate). Therefore! Even when you spot the many inconsistencies with canon, please just turn a blind eye.

And finally I must apologise for how confusing this whole story is. With my limited literary and imaginative ability, I tried my best to convey the idea of there being "past lives" and "this life" and "Eren with 4000 years of memories" and "Eren with only 25 years of memories (technically 21, since his father erased his childhood memories along with his traumatic memories)"...I mean, at first it's all from Levi's POV and then time skip! suddenly Eren is dying and suddenly Eren is not Eren but actually Eren but then he's Eren again...Honestly, thank you so much for reading the whole story.

Some things that I didn't really manage to convey in the story itself, include, that even though Levi and Eren have memories from all their previous "lives", they essentially grow up and live as their own selves every "life"; in other words they often have different personalities or values from their previous "lives" (though, in almost every life, they are told by people around them that they are mature for their age). While Levi did say "in most ["lives"] we were lovers", it's not as if they always had romantic feelings for each other. They generally went along with the natural flow of that "life", and if they did become lovers then okay, but if they found others to love then that makes them happy too. The only thing they volitionally tried to manipulate, was their "game", where in some "lives" they would pretend they really were meeting for the first time (hey if they live 4000 years they have to find some sort of entertainment).

Eren and Levi have never met anyone else who was reincarnated. Even though they meet each other every "life", they have never met someone from a previous "life" in a different "life" before. This is a major part of the reason why they can grow up following the 'natural flow of that "life"', because each person they encounter is unique to that "life" and that moment, and therefore precious.

Having said all that, Levi and Eren still value their past "lives" as much as their present ones. Even though they definitely have a strong feeling of existing in their present "life", they look back fondly on their past "lives" in a similar way to how one reminisces about their youth. When I wrote the first few chapters, I included a lot of Levi reminiscing about their past "lives", which was initially just to satiate my delusional needs, but looking back on it, it shows how much Levi relates to the past at the same time as living in the present.

At this point, please allow me to reiterate: these are my delusions.

Eren...poor poor Eren...suffering so much at a young age, then discovering his weird power and being burdened with the expectations that come with being "Humanity's Hope" at the tender age of 15. For his first years as part of the Recon Corps he would've been isolated as a monster, but due to him gaining control over his powers and contributing greatly during Recon Missions, he gradually earns the trust and friendship of his comrades over the years. When he was in his best condition, he could kill up to 60 Titans at a time. However he was still vulnerable in certain ways, so Levi was required to be near by to support him, in order to achieve the best results. Their combined power was unprecedented for Recon Corps, but even so there were still many many losses every mission. Thanks to their contribution and the thousands of sacrifices, after seven years humanity seems to finally have freedom within its reach.

However, around the same time it becomes apparent that Eren's human body is suffering from using his power so much. Actually, the symptoms have been around for a year already, but because there are no changes to his performance as a Titan, no one really realised until it became obvious. Around this time is when Levi finally realises that he is deeply in love with this Eren, and not confusing him with that Eren or anything like that. Well it's only going to be more painful for him, because he only just realised his own feelings but he has to watch Eren suffer as he slowly becomes weaker and weaker, because Eren's power is necessary for humankind to attain the freedom that they've both been dreaming of.

Even though Eren's human body is weakening, his Titan form and Titan powers function as normal. He can still transform into a Titan and fight, and clearly has a lot more vitality in his Titan form than when in his human form. However it is clear that even his Titan form is weakening, and the main reason is most likely that assuming the Titan form and using his Titan powers is taxing on his vitality as a human. Therefore the weaker his human form is, the less energy can be transmitted to his Titan form. But as he fights as a Titan, his human vitality decreases. And thus the horrible cycle is repeated. In the anime, Eren becomes weak for a short while after assuming his Titan form. But now that his condition has dropped so much, sometimes he would remain weak for a few weeks after fighting in his Titan form. He becomes unable to move himself, or he becomes ill easily, he also becomes injured a lot more easily (this quickly heals because of his Titan powers, but that in turn only worsens his condition). Near the end he even finds breathing difficult. Generally he can recover his energy quite easily; simply by staying still and resting. However as the years went on, the time he needed to recover increased dramatically, and he would sleep for days at a time. After finally regaining some vitality he would quickly lose it again after doing something, and become unable to assume his Titan form. So eventually it was decided that someone would have to take care of all of Eren's needs, so that he could preserve his energy to fight when necessary. Even if he felt that he could walk, they would carry him or use a wheelchair when possible.

So why didn't Eren just stop using his power? Because he chose not to. He is a soldier, and every soldier fights putting their life on the line. No soldier is allowed to pull out of a fight if they haven't used everything at their disposal (I'd like to think this is one of the aspects Levi fell in love with). Especially if Eren's power can evidently speed up the process, then he has the responsibility to see it through.

Eren's condition was the reason that exterminating the Titans was put off for so long after reclaiming Wall Maria, and also the reason that the All Out Battle was executed. As for why exterminating the Titans was put off, it was (a) stupid people fighting over what to do with Eren's basement (instead of thinking about finishing off Titans), and (b) Erwin was reluctant to send Eren to more battles, but he knew how much of a difference it would make if Eren didn't fight. Eventually, Hanji predicted that Eren really didn't have long to live (I like to think that she feels especially bad about not noticing his declining condition earlier), and reports indicated that the remaining Titans were exterminatable. These led to Erwin finally making the decision to have an All Out Battle, using Eren's power one last time (remaining Titans not so exterminatable without Eren's help).

Right before the battle, Levi finds out that "Eren" is actually a different "Eren". But the way that I perceive this is not that there are two 'souls' or anything like that, it is more like there is a consciousness called "Eren" that is brought about by certain memories, and a different consciousness called "Eren" that is brought about by different memories...(I hope that makes sense). When fighting the Titans in their final battle, one "Eren's" consciousness was defeated, and accepted their death. But the other "Eren" had much more vivid memories of this world, and the consciousness decided that they would not accept death yet, and didn't die. But I reiterate, at least my perception of this when I wrote this story, was not that there are two souls called Eren. Therefore, when Eren and Levi say that they will be by each other's side in the next "life", it is actually more close to when at a funeral, someone says "live on forever in our hearts".

As for their next "life", I would like to think that they won't play their "game", because they were both so starved of the other's love in this "life". Of course Levi will still love the "Eren" from this "life", and hold him dear, but a whole new "life" is a whole new "world", so Levi has to move on and live his own life. But I'm sure that he will always remember that the freedom and happiness he enjoys in all the "lives" to come are thanks to "Eren", while reminiscing about the good times he spent with his love. I'm also sure, that Levi and Eren will resume their "game" soon, in their future "lives".

So...THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for reading allllllllll of this! I am indescribably grateful. I really hope that my story and long ass 'note' has been interesting, and has entertained you. And lastly, feel free to ignore any part of the story or note that I've written and apply your own interpretation to the story! That's part of the fun of reading.