"Jane, there's no reason to be nervous." Maura holds my hand tightly as we walk up the front walkway to Frankie's place. "Korsak and Frost should be telling them everything right now. Everything's going to be fine. That's what you told me last night, remember?"
"I know, I know. I'm still nervous, though. You should be too, I mean you've been missing for three weeks in their minds." She nods, squeezing my hand one last time before releasing it and raising hers to knock on the door. I take a deep breath, feeling uneasy now that Maura's hand is not gripping mine and keeping me centered.
In just a few seconds, the door is opened, revealing Frost standing with his hand on the doorknob and Korsak speaking to my entire family at the kitchen counter. Ma's back is to us, and she continues on as if no one knocked on the door.
"Vince, don't fucking kid around with me. I've just lost my only daughter and the woman whom I consider my daughter as well. My heart is already broken enough!" With a small sob, she runs her hand over her eyes. Korsak sees us and clears his throat.
" ...Angela, please turn around." She sighs, not seeing what turning around has to do with anything, but once she does and her gaze falls upon Frost, Maura, and I, her mouth drops open.
"You're alive..." More tears flow from her eyes and her body wracks with another sob. "My babies!" She comes and swoops both Maura and me into her arms, kissing our heads and faces over and over. "I thought...I thought-"
"I know, Ma. I know...I'm so sorry..." I even feel myself getting choked up enough as my mother clings to us for dear life. She cannot even form words from all the crying when she releases us, just nodding her approval and kissing us one last time. I look at Maura: her face is red and blotchy from uncontrollable crying. Frankie and Tommy both come in for hugs from both of us. They even look emotional. Korsak is wiping tears from his eyes as we all make our way to the kitchen counter. I help Maura to sit down as well as Ma on the bar stools because they are the most shaken up right now.
Korsak is the one to start back conversation. "Jane, Cavanaugh is planning on telling all of BPD and the forensics department now. They're going to have to kick out the rookie who took your desk and that pissy old Medical Examiner."
Simultaneously, I say "Someone took my desk?!" while Maura pipes in with " ?!"
Korsak laughs. "Yeah, I didn't think either of you would take that well. They'll be gone by tomorrow, though."
Ma sniffles, blowing her nose in a tissue before finally speaking. "You two are just going to go back to work?...After all this?"
"Ma, the safest place for us to be is at the police department, since Marino's men are still out there. We're going to be more careful this time...I promise that." I stand between Maura and Ma, holding Ma's hand with mine. I feel Maura's hand coming up to rest on my shoulder, squeezing gently but soothingly. I look over my shoulder at her, smiling at the beautiful woman whom I couldn't possibly want to kiss more than in that moment...just to comfort her. I realize that this is the moment that I'm waiting for to tell the family about our relationship. Screw waiting until things die down. I want to claim my girlfriend now.
"Ma...I also have something else to say..." I pull away from her, going around behind Maura instead.
She turns completely to look at us along with all the men in the room. "What is it, Janie?" I meet Maura's eye contact while standing with both of my hands on her shoulders. She flushes, looking down insecurely at her lap. I can sense how timid she is that the family won't accept her...How does she think anyone could possibly not love and adore her?
I look back up into her eyes, squinting slightly at the tears that come to surface. I realize they are just a result of joy and my overly-emotional state, but I still swipe them away. Maura's eyes glisten with them as well as I catch her gaze once more. Clearing my throat, I begin. "Maura and I realized something when we were reunited..." I look at Maura's face, which is now turned up to face me and not moving away this time. Her eyes are definitely happy because of the resulting relationship between us, but I cannot help but detect a lingering doubt there. I smile, trying to calm her as I continue in a lower and more deliberate volume. "I know that I realized that I've been in love with Maura for...for a long time." Each word becomes even more difficult to say, but I clear my throat once more before continuing. "And I'm blessed to be able to say that the good Doctor felt the same way." Maura's arm comes around my torso as she pulls me beside her, her leaning into me slightly. We're a united front, coming clean before my family and finally giving them what they deserve: the truth.
Ma makes an indescribable sound of joy and elation before jumping to her feet and enveloping us in another Mom-hug. "OH, Can this day get ANY better?" She sobs loudly, murmuring remarks of disbelief and finally having a doctor in the family.
"Maa, knock it off. I only allot you one hug a day, and I think you just used up a month's worth." She sighs before relinquishing her grasp on both of us. Maura laughs out loud, blotting tears from her eyes as relief finally floods over her face.
I reach over and hug her briefly, whispering into her ear "I told you so" before kissing her cheek gently and going to receive even more hugs and congratulations from my family and colleagues. I
t takes a long time to finally pacify everyone, and of course Ma wants us to spend the rest of the day with her, catching up on the oh-so-exciting news from the Boston Division 1 Cafe. Once we are free to go home, it is already 9 o clock, and both Maura and I are zonked. We head back to her place, both taking our showers and changing into pajamas before heading to bed.
I come out of my shower last, changing and walking into the master bedroom to see Maura curled up watching Fringe in a fuchsia, silk night-gown. She smiles at me, turning the TV off as I slide into the bed beside her. She crawls into my lap fully, giving me a kiss before curling up with her head on my chest. Our legs intertwine out of the ever-present aspiration to be closer to one another, and my arm rests comfortably around her torso.
"I feel restless...I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep for a while..." She looks up at me, and I kiss her forehead before responding.
"Why not, love?" Being so close to Maura and being alone with her causes me to feel allowed to use terms of endearment as much as I want.
"I just...I think today was very stressful on me..I'm having a hard time of relaxing."
"Well, don't worry...I'll stay up with you until you're feeling sleepy. Want to watch more TV or something? Read one of your medical examiner's journals?" I nuzzle my head into her hair, which smells like her wonderful lavender shampoo.
"Actually, Angela was telling me something today...After she told me how happy she was for us, she told me how great of a singer you are...and how you used to sing Tommy and Frankie to sleep when they were little...I was wondering...-"
"What?! She told you that? Maura, noo-"
"But Jane..." She sits up slightly and looks at me, sadness in her eyes that she uses to her advantage. "I thought you loved me?"
I roll my eyes and scoff. "UGH- Maura. You're really going to make me prove my love for you through showing how much of an awful singer I am?" She looks at me sternly, unwilling to back down. I scoff once more. "Fine. Your ears are going to BLEED though. That'll be my payback for you making me do this." She smiles brightly, settling down back into her place beside me.
"You can start whenever you are ready, Jane..." In a smaller voice, she adds. "You don't know how much this means to me..." Her heartfelt interjection gives me the bravery to sing, even though I'm out of practice and afraid of the critiques of the music-extraordinaire, Maura Isles.
I clear my throat, leaning my head on top of Maura's as it rests on my shoulder. I stroke her hair with my hand to calm down, breathing in and out deeply before beginning. "Love me now and love me well, it's your love I crave to know...Before I stand here buried in this unforgiving snow..." I start to feel more sure of my words, since these words truly do attest to how I feel about Maura. "Love me good oh love me please, but I'm pleased to know you at all. Pull me out before I'm gone, and please don't let me fall." I cough softly, finally getting over my nervousness to where my voice doesn't shake as much and sounds more certain. I continue on. "Fall asleep, but not for long, your dreams are in your hands. Handle them gracefully, but don't let them sift like sand.
Sing of love and sing of none, but remember when you are through, I'll be here to sing along...and my heart will be with you." My emphasis on 'you' makes Maura turn and look up into my eyes before settling back against me with her eyes now closed. "Moments are fleeting, each end is a greeting, to what lies ahead, so get up from your bed. Keep your eyes off the clock...time's spent better with them locked in mine...Oh I tell you it's true...every second is a treasure with you." I kiss the top of her head gently before finishing out the song in a lower, more loving tone. "Winds are mean and time is too; I can see them in my face. But winds have timely brought us close, like pearls sewn into lace. He has great plans in mind for us for welfare, not for woe. Plans to give us futures full of goodness...full of hope."
A few minutes pass in utter silence, and at first I assume Maura is asleep. I reach over to turn off the lamp, but her raising hand stops me. She sits up again, tears in her eyes as she presses her lips to mine with ferocity. She knots her hands in my hair, straddling my lap and kissing my lips, cheeks, and neck lovingly. I feel her showering me with her adoration and devotion, so I let her take the role of dominance. I also feel that this entire day has been straining on her...and that she has constantly been seeking something to persuade her of my undying love for her, along with the love of everyone else that she is somehow still blind to. Once we have kissed until we are panting, she slides off of my lap and lays back down beside me, facing me this time and cuddling as close to me as she possibly can.
"You're amazing, darling...Thank you."
"Anything for you. I love you."
"I love you too..." Peaceful sleep ensues as we drift off in each other's arms.