It takes Santana a good few seconds to figure out why her body aches so much when she first wakes up. Then she remembers that damn Cheerios practice and curses Coach Sylvester's name several times. Silently of course, just in case there's any of her listening devices planted in Brittany's garage, because you never really can be sure with Coach.
It takes another minute for her to figure out why she appears to lying on the sofa in Brittany's garage, pretty much draped over a snoring Brittany. A blanket has been thrown over them at some point, and judging by the fact that she doubts Brittany would have been able to move with Santana's weight pinning her to the sofa like it is, then she gets the feeling they might just be in a little bit of trouble here.
She doesn't have a clue what time it is, but her body-clock is telling her it's far too early to be awake, and that she should put her head back down and go back to sleep. However the rest of her body seems to disagree and is wanting her to move and stretch her muscles instead. She somehow manages to disentangled her limbs from Brittany's and slides to her feet.
As expected Brittany doesn't wake. Santana carefully replaces the blanket over her, stopping to place a soft kiss to her forehead, then heads towards the house. She needs a shower and some clean clothes, but she doesn't want to disturb the rest of the Pierces this early by traipsing upstairs. However she also can't bring herself to sneak off without letting Brittany know she's leaving. So her plan is to hunt down some post-it notes or something and leave one for Brittany to tell her she had to go home but will be back to pick her up for school.
Unfortunately she steps into the kitchen to find Jeff leaning against the breakfast bar, cup of coffee cradled in his hands. She stops dead and slowly starts to back up, but it's too late he's seen her. "Morning, Santana. Sleep well?"
"Nothing happened last night." Santana folds her arms, staying exactly where she is in the doorway. "We fell asleep. That's all."
"Sure." He grabs a mug from the cupboard and fills it with coffee, then places it on her side of the counter. "Why don't you take a seat? I think you and I need to have a little chat, don't you?" Jeff gestures for her to join him at the breakfast bar.
Santana doesn't move, though her eyes dart to the open door behind her. It'd be perfectly understandable if she made a run for it, wouldn't it? If she's quick, she might even have time to stop to grab her jacket from where she thinks she left it on the garage floor. Doing so will mean she'll have her car keys that are in the pocket, and then she won't even have to walk home.
Or then again fleeing in terror from her girlfriend's father is possibly not the smart play here. It certainly wouldn't do anything for her badass image.
Jeff is watching her carefully. "The coffee isn't poisoned if that's what you're worried about."
It wasn't, not until he put the idea into her head anyway, now she might just be a little suspicious.
Jeff must notice her hesitation as he sighs. "Look, I don't know where this insane idea that I'm planning your death came from, but honestly, I'm not."
Santana still stays in the doorway. Something tells her that even if that might be true, she's about to get some sort of variation on the protective father speech, and she really doesn't know how she's supposed to react to that.
He once again points at one of the stools. "Come on, I just want to talk. Please?"
She shrugs but does as he asks, sitting down across from him.
"I'm sorry if I haven't handled this whole no sleepovers thing very well." That really isn't what she was expecting him to say. "I should have taken the time to explain why I felt the need to start laying down the law, when it was never an issue before."
Santana gets the feeling that this is going to be even more awkward than she was expecting. Maybe if she starts talking before him then he'll change his mind about needing to have this conversation with her. "Listen, Mr P. I get it, I do. I get that you're not happy about me dating Brittany. I know you must think I'm a bad influence on her. God knows everybody else does, but..."
He cuts her off before she can get any further. "Santana, in all the years I've known you, I have never once thought that."
"Really?" She's not sure how that's possible. "Not even that time I got her arrested?"
"Meh. You guys stole a car. We've all been there."
"Borrowed, we borrowed a car." She feels the need to make that distinction.
"And besides I always got the impression the whole thing was Brittany's idea anyway, am I right?"
She thinks she's safer not answering that, there's no need to get Brittany into any trouble here.
"In fact, I'm pretty sure my daughter was responsible for ninety-five percent of the stupid stunts you two have pulled over the years."
She'd have said eighty percent. After-all she has had her own fair share of crazy ideas. Brittany is just better at talking her out of things than she is at saying no to anything Brittany's brain might conjure up.
"Santana, this all has nothing to do with you. It isn't personal. I'd be the same with anyone Brittany was dating."
"Okay." Santana doesn't see how that changes anything.
"Now I'm not naive. I know that you and Brittany..." He trails off, and just gestures with his hand.
She frowns. "Have sex?" She suddenly wishes she'd run when she'd had the chance, as this conversation seems like it's about to become a whole different level of uncomfortable.
"Yeah, that." He winces. "But I don't know any details, and I really want to keep it that way."
She'd be quite happy keeping it that way too.
"It's just something tells me that letting you two do as you please in this house, well that isn't likely to last for long. Do you know what it's like to be terrified any time you walk into a room in your own home about what you might walk in on?"
She's not sure if she should be offended that he seems to think that her and Brittany are sex-crazed or something, but well, they do have a lot of sex. She figures she should at least try to defend them though. "It's not like we..."
He holds a hand up to stop her. "Now please don't actually answer this question, but the other day when we came home and you two were on the sofa, where were Brittany's hands?"
Well he might just have a point there. She quickly drops her gaze, staring into her coffee mug rather than look at him.
"And I've got Ashley to think about. She isn't dating yet, but what happens when she starts? What ever we let Brittany do, we're going to have to let her do too, and that's several years of arguments that I really could do without."
He's rambling and Santana is finding it hard to follow his train of thought. Now she knows where Brittany picked up the habit at least. She doesn't dare interrupt him though, even to ask him to slow down.
"And Cathy seems to think Ashley will understand that it's different because you and Brittany are in love, but Brittany claimed to love that Abrams boy and we all know how that turned out."
She flinches at the mention of Artie's name. She likes to pretend that nothing ever happened between him and Brittany, and really isn't keen on anybody reminding her otherwise. "Mr P, really, I get it. This is your house, your rules, and I'm down with that. You don't owe me an explanation."
"No, but I just wanted to make sure you understood. I don't want you thinking you've done anything wrong. Or that we don't approve of you and Brittany. Because we do. Santana, I know I don't ever have to worry about you not treating Brittany right. I know you love her, and I know you respect her, and I would never want to come between you two."
Santana nods. "But you don't want us getting it on under your roof."
Jeff sighs. "That makes me really old-fashioned, doesn't it?"
Santana shrugs. "Maybe a little. But look, how about a compromise?"
He lifts his head. "What kind of compromise?"
She's not really sure. She's winging it seeing as she has no idea what's standard operating procedure for this kind of situation. "How about for a start, if anyone else is home, then we keep all activities strictly PG-13 rated?"
"And you really think Brittany will be able to keep to that?"
"Yeah, sure." Santana hopes he doesn't notice she has her fingers crossed, but it's worth a try to get Brittany to stick to it. "But on the other side, how about if I'm allowed to sleep in Britt's room and we're allowed the door closed? But you trust us to stick to the rules."
"You want us to do this on the honor system?"
"Yeah. I'm asking you to give us a chance to prove we can behave."
He studies her, as if trying to figure something out. "Why is this such a big deal? You two sharing a bed?"
She considers lying to him, saying that it isn't, but she knows that won't get her anywhere. "Because it feels wrong not to wake up next to her, you know?"
"See, it's things like that make me worry a little. About both of you. The fact that the idea of spending even one night apart caused all this upset? She's only seventeen, yet the way she looks at you sometimes, it scares me."
It scares her too, most of the time. Then there's those times when it only makes her feel invincible, like she can do anything as long as Brittany believes in her, loves her.
"I'm just wondering, what's the plan, Santana? For after you graduate? You're going to go off to college, and Brittany..." He sighs. "Well, I don't know what Brittany's wanting to do, because every time I try to talk to her about the future, she just shrugs and says she doesn't know yet."
Santana thinks both her and Brittany have been avoiding that particular conversation. If she's honest she doesn't have a clue what she wants to do next year. Get out of Lima with Brittany. That had been her entire plan up until now. There's a box at the back of her wardrobe that was going to be her way of making sure that happened. But now? Now she still can't quite let herself think that she might actually have other options. That's why that box is staying exactly where it is. "I'm not going to just leave her behind, I would never do that."
"And maybe that's exactly the kind of thing that worries me. You're both so young. And I know you love her. I know she loves you. But I don't want either of you to throw away your future for the other. I care too much about both of you to see that happen."
Once again she's hit with the fact that the Pierces seem to care more about her than her own parents. As if the fact that they will be sitting in that audience at Sectionals tonight, while her parents have more important places to be wasn't enough of a reminder.
Jeff's watching her reaction carefully, a worried expression on his face that tells her he really doesn't want to be having this discussion anymore than she does. "I just need to know that there is a plan. That you've thought about what exactly it is you want out of life, and whether it's the same things that Brittany wants."
"What, you want to know what my intentions are towards your daughter?" She can't help raising an eyebrow.
"And now you're mocking me." He throws a hand up in the air, and sighs. "Is it really so wrong to worry about my daughter getting hurt?"
"No, it's not." Santana can't help thinking he's probably quite justified in thinking that, going off her track record and how many times Brittany's cried over her in the past. "Look, I can't promise you that I'll never hurt her. We're gonna have fights, and in case you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of a bitch most of the time. But I don't ever plan on breaking her heart if that's what you're asking, and I'm always gonna love her. I don't think I know how not to be in love with her. And the future? How about when we figure it out, you'll be the first to know?" She really isn't able to promise him any more than that right now.
"So you've talked about it at least?"
"No, not really." It doesn't mean she hasn't thought about it though. She's been thinking about it a lot lately, and she gets the feeling Brittany has too. "I mean Britt told my dad we're going to have babies one day but..."
Jeff promptly chokes on his coffee. Maybe sharing that information with him hadn't been the best of ideas. He has to cough several times before he can speak again, and even then it's only a strangled, "What?"
Santana shrugs. "Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction."
He shakes his head. "You know, Cathy said to me that I shouldn't worry about you two sleeping together because at least you couldn't get her pregnant. But now you tell me you're already talking about kids?"
"Brittany is. Not me."
"You don't want children?"
She doesn't even have a clue how to answer that question, so she simply shrugs. "I just think I'd really suck at the whole parenting thing." That turns out to a conversation killer. She really should have known mentioning children wouldn't exactly help her in these negotiations.
They sit in silence, Jeff clearly thinking things over. Eventually, he nods. "Okay. You have a deal. I'll agree to your terms. On a trial basis. Let's see how it works out. I'll talk to Brittany about it when she eventually wakes up."
Santana offers him a small smile. "Thanks, Mr P." She slides off the stool, eager to get out of here before he changes his mind. "I need to be going. Will you tell Britt I had to stop off at home and I'll be back to pick her up for school?"
He nods and she bolts for the garage door before he can think of anything he might want to discuss with her. She only makes it two steps before he calls after her though. "Santana? As much as I really don't want to be encouraging you to even think about settling down and starting a family anytime soon, I think you're wrong. I think you'd be a pretty damn good mother." He frowns. "Someday. Years and years from now. I'm far too young to be a grandad anytime soon. Are we clear?"
He might have meant that to be comforting, but it only makes her more desperate to leave. She's in the garage and picked up her jacket before he can say anything else, and then bolts for the door. She thinks that when she comes back to pick Brittany up, it might just be safer for her to stay in the car and honk.
The Trouble Tones are going to lose. Thirty seconds into New Directions performance of ABC and Brittany just knows that the Trouble Tones are going to lose. For the first time ever, New Directions are working as a group. The lack of Rachel seems to have forced them to not build a set-list around one particular person for once, and it works. Sure some of the members might be more shuffling on the spot than actually dancing, but it doesn't matter because there's Mike, and Mike is pulling focus. Nobody would even notice that Finn is half a beat off as usual, not unless like her they were looking for it.
Mike is awesome. Not that she ever thought for a second that he wouldn't be, but he's really on fire up there. He'd been so nervous, stressing over this routine. Not about the dancing. Dancing is as easy as breathing for him, just like it is for her, but this is the first time he's sung in a competition and being Mike, he'd worried. He didn't need to though, he nails it.
It continues as Artie and Blaine tear their way through Control, and grudgingly she has to admit that even Finn sounds pretty decent on Man In The Mirror. They're like a completely different group up there. Whether it's the absence of Rachel, or the addition of Sam, she doesn't know. All she knows is the Trouble Tones are going to lose.
It still hurts though when the announcement comes.
As a rule Brittany likes competition about as much as she likes any conflict, not very much at all. She's never felt the buzz from the adrenalin like other people seem to do. She's never had that edge, that burning desire to win, to prove she's the best at something. She dances because she loves it. It's that simple for her.
Santana though? Santana cares. Santana feels she constantly needs to prove herself to everyone around her. And when she loses, that's when those little demons that live in Santana's chest start to eat at her insides, start whispering that she's not good enough, and it always takes days for Brittany to repair the damage.
That's why she sticks close to Santana as they make their way back stage after it's all over. That's why as soon as they're all piled into the rehearsal room, that's kind of become their base of operations over the past couple of months, she moves to stand behind Santana, wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder and whispers, "I love you."
She feels Santana relax back into her embrace. "Love you too, Britt. Always."
Sugar stomps past them and sinks down onto the floor. "How did we lose? We were supposed to win. Wasn't that the whole point? That's why Daddy paid for Ms Corcoran. She's supposed to be the best, so we should have won."
Mercedes is sitting at the piano, head in her hands. "Guess they were just better."
Santana shakes her head. "No way. It was those damn judges. They totally screwed us over. I'm pretty sure that evil clown judge was high. Though I can't really blame him. I think I'd have to be on drugs to judge one of these stupid competitions." And there it is, right on cue. Santana pretending that she doesn't care about Sectionals, like she never really wanted to win anyway. Brittany can feel her body tense up against her own, always the first sign that Santana is about to go into rant mode. She tries to pull out of Brittany's arms, but Brittany doesn't let her, instead she tightens her grip.
Santana manages to twist in her arms, an annoyed expression on her face, her eyes clearly asking why Brittany won't seem to let go of her.
Brittany doesn't know what makes her kiss her then, right there with the rest of the Trouble Tones all in the room. Brittany's not even sure if she's allowed to kiss Santana in public, though Santana has never said she's not. She can't remember the last time they did though. She thinks it might have been Sophomore year, back when they still used to make out in front of boys. She feels Santana freeze against her, can feel the panic flowing off her in waves, and she's about to pull away, but then she feels Santana respond, an arm wrap around her neck to pull her closer.
They don't kiss for long, and it isn't even particularly heated, there's not even any tongue. Well maybe a little tongue. When they break apart, Santana's eyes are squeezed shut as if she's acutely aware that they have an audience and doesn't dare see their reactions.
She doesn't have anything to worry about though. The Cheerios are pretending to not even have noticed. Mercedes is just shaking her head, a smile on her lips.
And Sugar? Well Sugar's grinning at them, in a way that Brittany thinks is actually a little weird. "Awwwww. They're so cute."
Instantly, Santana's eyes are open and she gives Sugar her best death glare, which is enough to cause Sugar to scramble to her feet and scurry to the other side of the room and out the door. "Damn right, you'd better run, girl." She turns back to Brittany. "Did you hear her? Cute? Cute? We're hot is what we are. Not cute."
Mercedes dares laugh. "I dunno. As wrong as it seems to ever call Satan cute, I think she's right. Adorable is another word that springs to mind."
Santana actually looks devastated to hear that, her face scrunching up in disgust. "God, we're turning into one of those couples, aren't we? So sickeningly sweet that they annoy the hell out of everyone."
Brittany grins. "Yep." She doesn't see how that can be a bad thing. she's about to risk kissing Santana again, if only because she knows it'll at least knock the scowl off her face. It also seems to be pretty effective at making her forget about the whole losing part of the evening. Before she can though, a small blonde blur barrels into them, arms wrapping around the pair of them. Brittany's not sure how they manage to stay on their feet. Her sister always was a bit of a cockblock and even if she never does it on purpose, it still sometimes annoys Brittany.
Ashley hugs them both. "You guys were amazing. So very awesome. It's so wrong that you didn't win."
Santana's face falls. So much for trying to make her forget. "Thanks, Ash." Much to Brittany's annoyance, Santana actually lets go of her to hug Ashley instead.
Brittany folds her arms and frowns at her sister. "Who even let you back here?" She gets her answer when her parents breeze into the room.
She immediately finds herself being hugged by her mom. "You both were fantastic tonight." Her mom lets go of her and moves to hug Santana, while Brittany finds herself engulfed in her dad's arms.
"I know I'm biased, but you definitely should have won." Her dad keeps hold until she protests, then he moves away. At some point during the hugs, Santana has edged away from them, and is now standing at the other side of the room, talking to Mercedes. When Brittany catches her eye and frowns, Santana quickly looks away. Brittany glances at her dad to find he's keeping his eyes on the floor, looking guilty about something. She wonders if this is all still about his stupid rules, or if something else is going on here. She'll ask Santana later. Or try to anyway.
Her mom must notice something isn't quite right as she coughs to get everyone's attention. "Anyway, we just wanted to tell you how amazing you were, and to see if you needed a ride home?"
Brittany isn't sure now. She had been planning on leaving with Santana, but suddenly feels like she's been abandoned to her family's clutches. She doesn't want to go with them though, not until she knows Santana is okay. "I'm good. Santana will drop me off at home."
Her mom just nods, then rests an arm around Ashley's shoulders to lead her towards the door. "Then we'll see you back at the house."
Her dad hesitates for a second, as if he's going to say something, then instead he simply trails after her mom and Ashley. As soon as they're gone, Santana is once more back at her side. Brittany tilts her head to study her. "What was that about?"
Santana shrugs. "Thought you might want a moment with your family." There's an edge to Santana's voice, a slight hint of bitterness.
Brittany can't shake the feeling that she's being shut out here. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Before Brittany can push the issue, Santana's eyes narrow and she's moving towards the door. "Wait here, yeah?"
Brittany ignores her, instead is only a step behind Santana as she marches out into the hallway. Mercedes shoots them a worried look as they leave, but doesn't follow.
Quinn and Tina must have just walked past the doorway, as they're a short distance away, laughing and joking, clearly high after their win. Brittany has a sudden bad feeling about this.
Santana stops in the middle of the hallway and shouts after them, "Hey, Fabray."
Both Quinn and Tina stop and turn to look at them. Santana stays where she is, arms folded, face fixed into a scowl.
Quinn sighs. "Tina, I'll catch up, okay."
Tina looks like she doesn't know whether to leave Quinn alone with them or not, but eventually she makes herself scarce.
Quinn walks over to join them, offering them a smile. "You were good tonight. Really good. It was a shame that there had to be a winner." Brittany as usual can't tell if Quinn means it or not.
Either way Santana doesn't seem impressed. "Save it, Q. Are you gonna tell me what the hell's going on?"
Quinn stands her ground. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh please. Puck's going to come through for us? He's such a shining star?" Santana takes a step forward so she's standing right in front of Quinn, and Brittany worries that she might once more need to break up a fight between the two of them. "What did you do, huh? Because I know you did something. You've been walking around acting all Single White Female for a while now. Which while it's been a nice change from Punk Quinn, or Stepford Quinn, it's starting to get a little creepy."
Brittany agrees with Santana there, but decides to stay quiet. She's always tried to avoid taking sides in any Unholy Trinity fights, but when pressed she's never not going to choose Santana.
Quinn only sighs. "Relax, S. I didn't do anything. You don't need to worry. Rachel already talked some sense into me."
"Rachel did?" Santana lets out a hollow laugh. "Okay, now I know you've seriously lost the plot if you're taking advise from the hobbit."
Brittany's completely lost here, and neither of them seem like they'd be willing to take the time to explain it to her.
Quinn smiles, which if anything only freaks Brittany out even more. "I actually think I finally might just have found the plot." She starts walking away from them. "I'll see you two on Monday. Enjoy your weekend." She stops and turns back to them. "I meant it, you know? You were awesome tonight. All you Trouble Tones were."
Then she's gone, leaving Brittany alone with Santana once more. "San, what was that all about?"
Santana face softens as she turns her attention back to Brittany. "I don't know, B. Something. Something's happened. I don't know." Santana still looks worried, and maybe slightly angry. "Hey, have you seen Ms Corcoran since the results?"
"No."
Santana shrugs, clearly trying to pretend that everything's okay. "It's probably nothing."
Brittany slips her hand into Santana's. "Want to go see if we can find her?"
Santana bites her bottom lip for a moment, then nods. "Yeah, I think we should."
Shelby had planned to sneak away without anybody noticing. The Trouble Tones had all looked so crushed after their defeat that she really hadn't wanted to add to their misery. And while New Directions are busy celebrating their victory, then that gives her the chance to go before Puck and Quinn caught on.
What she didn't count on was Santana Lopez cornering her as she's packing up the things in her office that she really can't bare to leave behind.
"You're leaving, aren't you?" Shelby looks up to find Santana standing in the doorway, arms folded. Brittany is hovering behind her, her eyes are fixed on the floor however.
Seeing as she's currently placing various items into a cardboard box, she can't very well deny it. She sighs and drops the box down on top of her desk. "I have to. It was a mistake coming back here. A huge mistake."
Santana's eyes flash with anger. "Were you even gonna tell us you were going?" Her silence must give Santana her answer as her eyes narrow. "You do realise that they'll think it's all their fault? The Trouble Tones. They lost tonight, and you up and bail on them? They'll think it's because they let you down."
Shelby pulls open one of the drawers and starts emptying the contents into her box. "And what do you think?"
"I think you screwed up. I don't know what you did exactly, but you've clearly pissed Quinn off, so I'm guessing it involves Puck and Beth in some way."
"Is that right?" Just how many people has Puck opened his big mouth to and told about their, well whatever it was.
Santana shrugs. "Yeah, I think it is."
"Maybe you're right." She can't exactly deny it. She should have stopped things with Puck before it even get close to going so far. There's always a chance that Quinn won't go to Principle Figgins, but the threat will always be there. She'd have to spend every day worrying that if she upsets Quinn again, then they'll be back here again. No, it's better if she leaves. It might be what all three of them need to move on.
"You really don't give a shit, do you?"
She should pull Santana for her attitude, but she just doesn't have the energy, and maybe part of her knows it's justified anyway.
Santana takes a few steps towards her. "You show up out of the blue, mess with Quinn's head by bringing her kid back into her life when she never asked you to, and now, what? You're gonna skip town and take the brat away from her again? That's kinda cruel, don't you think?"
She thinks the cruel thing was her coming back to Lima in the first place and expecting them to stand by and watch her raise Beth and not have any say in that. Taking Beth away will actually mean they're all free to try and move on with their lives. "Santana, when you're an adult, you'll understand that things are complicated sometimes."
"Really, you're going to stand there and patronize me like that? Really?"
Okay, so maybe that wasn't quite the right thing to say. After everything Santana's been through over the past few weeks, maybe dismissing her like a child isn't the best of ideas. She sighs and sinks down into the chair behind her desk. "What would you have me do?"
Santana doesn't seem to have an answer to that. She only shrugs again.
"Well that's helpful."
"What about your daughter? You even taken one second to think about her in all this?"
Of course she has, Beth is all she's thinking about. "Beth will be fine. She's young enough that none of this will affect her. That's why it's best if I go now, before she does get attached to Puck or Quinn."
"I wasn't talking about Beth." Santana shakes her head. "Listen, I might not much like Rachel, but what you're doing to her isn't cool. How many times are you gonna show up in her life, attempt to bond with her, then just take off when you get bored? I mean, I get it, I do. None of us can stand to be around Rachel for long, but you know we still somehow manage to put up with her. But her own mother can't do the same?"
Shelby hasn't given any thought to Rachel in all of this. To be honest, they've barely talked since she came back, and maybe that suited both of them. They'd tried the whole bonding thing, and it didn't work. Beth has to be her priority. Whether that's right or wrong. "I'm sorry, Santana. I know I'm letting you girls down by leaving, letting a lot of people down actually. But I don't have a choice. I should never have come back here, and I need to put that right." She climbs to her feet and takes a step towards Santana, but the girl only backs away. "I was so proud of you all tonight though. You were flawless up on that stage, and I'm going to miss the Trouble Tones more than you'll know."
Santana dismisses her with a wave of her hand. "Whatever. Like I even care what you do anyway." She turns and storms towards the door, brushing past Brittany.
Shelby watches her leave, then goes back to throwing items into the box.
"Ms Corcoran?" She jumps slightly, surprised to find that Brittany hasn't left with Santana. She's still in the doorway, clearly reluctant to enter but she is looking at Shelby now. "I just wanted to say thank you. For everything you did for Santana."
Shelby frowns. "Brittany, I didn't really do anything for Santana." If anything she perhaps should have done more to help the girl.
Brittany pauses as if trying to find the right words. "No, you did. You gave her a chance. Not many people do that. People just think she's mean and that she's not worth the effort. But you believed in her, you put her up front with Mercedes and she needed that. Needed someone to believe in her. So thank you."
"I only did what any good choir director would do. You put your best people up front. She's incredibly talented."
The smile that settles on Brittany's face is full of pride. "She is. I know that. I've always known that. But sometimes Santana doesn't seem to know it, but we're working on that." Brittany nods, but it seems to be aimed more at herself than at Shelby. "So thanks." Brittany bounces out of the room, leaving Shelby alone.
She picks up the last item on the desk. A photograph of Beth, and knows that however much it hurts her, it's the right decision for her to leave McKinley.
Santana hasn't said a word since leaving Ms Corcoran's office. She doesn't think Brittany minds though. She knows that Brittany understands that sometimes she needs the quiet to think, and Brittany must know this is one of those times as she hadn't even turned the radio on as they drove over to Brittany's house.
Now they're parked out front, still sitting in silence.
Oddly enough, it's Santana herself that finally breaks it. "Do you ever feel like the whole fucking world has got it in for us?" The way Brittany's face scrunches up in confusion tells Santana that no, Brittany has never once thought that. That doesn't really come as a surprise though. She thinks that as far as Brittany's concerned the universe will always be sunshine and unicorns, and while most of the time Santana loves her eternal optimism, sometimes she gets a little tired of always being the one to bring them crashing back to reality. "It's just every single time I start to think things might be going my way for once, everything turns to shit like that." She snaps her fingers. "Every single time."
That only seems to have made Brittany more confused. "Because we lost Sectionals, or because of Ms Corcoran leaving?"
"Both." They both mean the end of the Trouble Tones after-all. The Cheerios won't stick around now that there's no Regionals for them, which only reminds Santana that they might just have to face Coach Sylvester's wrath seeing as they've lost to New Directions, the one thing she told them they'd better not do. Oh, Monday is going to be fun. "We should have done that damn Adele song. If I'd stepped up and let go of my fucking issues then we'd have won. It was just a song and..." She trails off when Brittany places a hand on her arm, squeezing gently. That gesture has always meant calm down, so she does.
"Santana, what have I always said about shoulda woulda coulda?"
Santana has no idea what the answer is to that question, so she makes a wild guess. "That they're the last words of a fool?"
Brittany seems to consider that for a moment. "Not what I was going to say, but that works too."
"I know. It's a waste of time playing the What If game, but..."
"No. No buts. It's not your fault, don't start thinking it is. We lost. Big deal. It isn't the end of the world."
She studies Brittany, trying to decide if she means what she says, or if part of her maybe does blame Santana for their defeat. "Does it really not bother you? The losing?"
Brittany shifts in her seat so that she's facing Santana. "Not really. It bothers me that you're upset. I don't like it when you're upset. And sure it would have been good to carry on and go to Regionals, but no, like I've said before, winning or losing doesn't matter to me I guess. We got up there, we were awesome. What does any of the rest matter?"
Santana wishes she felt the same way. "I still think it's the universe screwing with us. And you know, I'm really starting to hate that damn auditorium. I swear it's cursed or something. Bad things always seem to happen there."
"I dunno. Good things happen there too."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"Like tonight. Tonight you didn't care what anyone else thought, you got up on that stage and you danced with me. And I don't think I've ever been so proud of you."
Santana really doesn't know how to respond to that. She looks away, staring out the window. Brittany's house is already dark. The Pierces must have come home and gone straight to bed. "I should have done it sooner."
"All that matters is that you did it, so thank you. It meant a lot to me." She feels Brittany reaching for her hand, and she laces their fingers together. "And I don't think you realise how amazing you were up there tonight. Don't tell Mercedes I said this, because I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything, but you were so much better than her. You totally kicked her ass."
Santana turns to look at her. "Not as amazing as you. I kept getting distracted. Babe, you looked so hot, it was hard to focus on what I was supposed to be doing."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Brittany smiles and squeezes her hand. Santana notices her eyes dart across to the house, can't fail to miss the way Brittany licks her bottom lip briefly. "Are we going inside?"
Santana almost tells her that hell yeah, they're going inside, but some random voice inside her head decides that now is a good time to remind her about the conversation she had this morning with Brittany's dad. She thinks maybe it's her conscience, she's not sure as it doesn't make an appearance all that often. "I think it's better if I go home." Judging by the stabbing pain in her chest, her heart really doesn't like that idea. Santana goes back to staring out of the window, because looking at Brittany right now and she'd be dragging her inside in about five seconds flat.
"You don't have to." Brittany pulls her hand into her lap so she can hold it in both of hers. "My dad said he'd talked to you. He's okay with you staying over now. He told you that, right?"
"Yeah, he did."
"But you still won't come inside?" There's disappointment in Brittany's voice, and Santana knows she'd definitely better not look at her now. "Did he say something to upset you? Because you were acting really weird around him before."
Santana stays silent. If she tells Brittany about the other things she and Jeff discussed then it's going to lead to them having to have that talk, the one about the future, and she's happier continuing to ignore that for as long as possible.
Thankfully Brittany doesn't push the subject. Instead, she asks, "Do you want me to come back to your house with you? Because I can do that."
Santana turns to face her, shaking her head. "No." She answers quickly, maybe too quickly judging by the hurt expression that appears on Brittany's face. She knows she needs to explain and fast. "You shouldn't have to. You shouldn't ever have to step foot inside that house. Hell, I don't even want to spend time there, so I'm not about to make you."
"You're not making me do anything, Santana."
It feels like she is. After-all why would anyone actually choose to be at her house? Once again she has to look away. She sighs. "I'm screwing everything up, aren't I?"
"No, you're not." Brittany reaches out and places a hand on Santana's cheek, turning her head so she has no choice but to look at her. "You're not screwing anything up, but please, come inside. I don't want you to be alone tonight."
Santana can tell Brittany is worried about her, worried that some of her more self-destructive habits might make an appearance if Brittany isn't keeping an eye on her. She hates that she's ever given Brittany reason to think like that. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
Santana doesn't know where to begin. For making her worry about her. For hurting her by making her think she doesn't want to be with her tonight. For the fact that sometimes she feels jealous of the relationship Brittany has with her family, feels a little resentful that the Pierces always show up to watch Brittany perform, whether it's Glee, dance recitals, Cheerios or Motocross, when she can't remember the last time her parents came to any of her competitions. Her Abuela used to make the effort, but she guesses those days are long gone.
Brittany suddenly leans forward and presses a hand to her forehead.
Santana frowns. "What are you doing?"
"Checking your brain isn't overheating with all the thinking you're doing. You really need to give it a rest sometimes, you know, San, or one day it just might burn out on you. And that would really suck."
Well Santana can't really argue with that. "Yeah, I guess it would."
Brittany smiles, clearly satisfied that she's managed to distract Santana. "Now, are you gonna come inside?"
Santana really hasn't the energy to think of any more excuses why she can't stay the night, so she simply nods.
They don't say anything as they make their way inside. Apart from the quiet sound of a television coming from the basement, signaling that Irish is still awake, the house is silent. Brittany takes hold of Santana's hand and starts pulling her towards the stairs. Santana holds her ground though, and Brittany turns back to frown at her.
Santana pulls her hand free and walks through into the living room. "Maybe I should sleep on the sofa."
Brittany looks at her like she's clearly going insane. "My dad said you could sleep in my room. Why would you want to sleep on the sofa?"
"I know he said it was okay. That he'd trust us, but I don't know, it still feels a little wrong to do it the first chance we get. It'll look like we don't respect him."
Brittany looks like she's about to argue with her, but then her eyes light up. "Okay, wait here."
Santana watches Brittany bound up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Incredibly she manages to do this without making any noise. She really wishes she knew how Brittany had learned to be so stealthy.
She walks over to the sofa and collapses onto it. It's not that uncomfortable. She can survive one night sleeping here, even if her back still hurts from spending last night sleeping in the garage on the other sofa.
She doesn't hear Brittany return until she's stumbling into the room, her arms full of pillows and blankets.
"Erm, Brittany, what are you doing?"
Brittany drops her hoard of items to the floor. "You said you didn't want to sleep in my bedroom."
"Yeah."
"So we won't sleep in my bedroom."
Before Santana can ask what exactly she's up to, Brittany disappears upstairs once more, mumbling something about needing more supplies.
Santana isn't sure what time it is when she's woken by the sound of voices. Early, she thinks judging by how much her body objects to waking up. But then again, it was after four am before they settled down to sleep. The voices get louder now and there's footsteps in the hallway. She hears them come to a stop outside the doorway, then she hears Jeff's voice. "What the..."
Santana squeezes her eyes shut and buries her head into Brittany's neck. She thinks the safe move here is to pretend to be fast asleep. She thinks Brittany is doing the same as she feels her arms tighten around her, pulling her closer to her.
Cathy speaks next. "What?"
"You have got to be kidding me?" The exasperation in Jeff's voice is clear, but at least he doesn't sound angry about waking up to find his dining room has been transformed over night.
"Shhh, you'll wake them."
"That's all you're concerned about here?"
"Well, you have to give them credit for creativity."
"Creativity? Our seventeen year old daughter and her girlfriend have built a pillow fort in the dining room and all you can say is we should give them credit for their creativity?" Jeff sighs. "You know what? I give up. Let them sleep wherever the hell they want. On the sofa in the garage, a pillow fort in the dining room. Where will it be tonight? A tent in the backyard? The bathtub? What the hell did I start here?"
Jeff's voice grows fainter, and the footsteps move away.
Well that went better than Santana had expected, but then it's not like it's the first time they've done this kind of thing. Okay so the last time, they might have been twelve, but still.
She feels Brittany shift slightly and Santana lifts her head to look at her. "Hey."
"Hey." Brittany rubs her nose against hers. "Told you he wouldn't be mad."
"Yeah, yeah. You were right. As usual. I really need to stop doubting you."
"You really should. Now, where are we going to sleep tonight?"
Santana smirks slightly. "You know, I think your dad might just have something with his tent idea. Then technically we wouldn't be inside the house, right? So then we could..."
She doesn't get to finish as Brittany cuts her off with a kiss. Santana just hopes this would be classified as PG-13 rated.
"What do you think?"
It's Mercedes that asks the question, but Brittany keeps her eyes on Santana. Her hand hasn't let go of Santana's since Quinn breezed out of the bathroom leaving them to decide if they want to go crawling back to New Directions or not. Santana's eyes are locked onto hers, clearly trying to figure out how Brittany feels about the whole thing. Conflicted is the answer. She misses them, sure. Well some of them. Quinn, Mike, Tina, Sam. Okay so that's where the list ends, but still. It's the thought of having to sit in the same room as Finn Hudson that scares her. There's too many chairs in that choir room that she could use to smash his face in with, and then Santana would get all mad at her, because she's still insisting that she doesn't want Finn to pay for what he did, even if that might be the stupidest thing Brittany's ever heard, though she doesn't ever plan on telling Santana that. They both know though that Brittany will do whatever Santana wants. If Santana wants to go make nice with the Glee Club, then Brittany will sit in silence and not object. Santana doesn't look like she's made her decision yet though so Brittany just waits.
Mercedes must have grown bored of them staring at each though, as she lets out a huff. "You're doing it again. Having one of your telepathic conversations, aren't you? Do you guys realise how annoying that is for the other people in the room?"
Santana stares at Brittany for a few more seconds, then turns to Mercedes. "I vote we get Brad to take over the Trouble Tones. He can just sit there in silence while we call all the shots. It's the perfect scenario, and I'm pretty sure he'd jump at the chance to get away from the rest of those losers. He hates them almost as much as I do."
But not as much as Brittany hates them. Though Santana doesn't seem to have realised that. Nobody seems to have realised that.
Mercedes leans back against the sinks. "As tempting as that sounds, what'd be the point? This is our Senior year. Going back to New Directions is gonna be our only chance at a Nationals title. It's different for you two. You have Cheerios. You've already won two National titles, and this year you'll make it a hat-trick. I want that."
Brittany really wishes she could understand why everyone is obsessed with winning. She takes part in Glee, Cheerios and Motocross because she enjoys it. It never matters to her if they win or lose, and she doesn't know why it matters so much to everyone else. Maybe everyone else is like Santana, and they need to win so that they can believe how awesome they are, so they know that everyone else can see how awesome they are. She guesses she's just never cared all that much what people think about her. Part of her hopes that she never does.
Brittany has an idea. "You could always come back to Cheerios instead."
Santana nods. "Coach does keep going on about wanting to add some vocal runs again. And I suppose I'd be willing to put in a good word for you."
Mercedes shakes her head. "I don't think Cheerios was ever my thing."
Santana shrugs. "Well, I didn't want to say it, but yeah, it really wasn't."
Mercedes ignores her. "So are we going back?"
Brittany notices Santana look to her once more, but she can only shrug. This has to be Santana's decision. It was her choice to leave after-all, so it needs to be her choice to go back. Brittany's happy as long as she's with Santana and can dance. It never mattered to her whether that was with the Trouble Tones or New Directions.
Santana sighs. "You do know rejoining is committing social suicide? Again. And I don't think the rest of the Cheerios would ever be caught dead joining Glee club, even if Coach Sylvester would let them. So it'd just be the three of us if we do go back."
Brittany feels the need to point out, "And Sugar. Sugar would totally come with us."
Santana scowls at hearing this. "Are you kidding me? The one good thing about the Trouble Tones being disbanded is that at least I wouldn't have to be in the same room as Sharpay ever again. And now you're telling me you want to let her tag along with us?"
"Well yeah. It's Sugar." Brittany frowns, not sure why Santana would try to exclude Sugar from this.
Santana looks like she's about to argue, but then instead just rolls her eyes. "I suppose she is kind of the Team Pet, and even I'm not that mean that I'd ever be cruel to animals, so fine, whatever."
Brittany bounces up and down. "You totally secretly like her, don't you?"
"Yeah, in the same way people like small furry creatures."
It's good enough for Brittany and she pulls Santana in for a hug.
Mercedes shakes her head at them. "I'll go call Sugar then." She makes a hasty exit, leaving them alone.
Once she's gone, Brittany pulls back and studies Santana. "Are you sure about going back?"
Santana doesn't answer her, instead looks away, as if suddenly finding the floor way more interesting than Brittany.
"San? You know I'll go where you go. If you don't want to..."
Santana's head snaps up. "No, I do." There's nothing but uncertainty in her voice, which worries Brittany, but then she nods, and repeats, "I do. It's just..."
Brittany waits, running her hands up and down Santana's sides.
"It's just I haven't really been around any of them since the whole being outed thing."
"You're worried about how they're going to treat you? Treat us?" Brittany can't imagine any of them acting any different towards Santana. Besides if any of them do give her any trouble, well Brittany will just have to do something about it.
"I know, it's stupid. I mean they all hated me before they knew I was gay, right? So what am I worrying about?"
"Hey, stop it." Brittany edges closer to her, her hands coming to rest at the small of her back. "None of them hate you, but if you want them to like you more, then you could always try being nicer to them."
Santana seems to consider that for a moment, then mutters, "So not worth it."
"And who knows, maybe it'll be fun watching Sugar annoy everyone."
Santana brightens a bit at the thought. "That's something to look forward to at least."
"Then come on, to the auditorium." Brittany starts to move towards the door, but then notices Santana isn't following her. "What?"
"I was just thinking, about what Quinn said. And I hope she's wrong."
"About what?" Brittany's lost, not seeing what Santana is talking about.
"I don't want these to be the best years of our lives. They can't be, because that would be really depressing. Lets face it, high school sucks. Even if we win Nationals, you said it last night, how much is that going to matter ten, twenty years from now? Are we gonna end up like Mr Schue? Trying to relive our glory days because we have nothing else in our lives that counts for anything?" Santana folds her arms, shaking her head slightly. "I don't want that for us. I want our best years to be after we get out of this stupid town, and we are getting out of here. I swear I'm gonna get us out of here. I don't know how yet, but I'm gonna make it happen." Santana suddenly falters slightly. "I mean, you want that, right? To get out of Lima? To leave with me?"
"Santana, I'd follow you anywhere, remember?" That's a non-answer, Brittany's aware of that, but it seems to satisfy Santana.
"Okay, good." Santana steps forward, taking Brittany's hand in hers once more. "Then lets go get this over with, but one wrong word from Bilbo and Snix is being allowed out to play." For once Brittany doesn't feel any desire to calm Santana's violent tendencies. "And by the way, I still fucking hate that auditorium."
Brittany isn't exactly its biggest fan any more either.