chapter 9 the party
harry went in the bathroom and threw up.
he was really fucking upset and pissed off.
he just got kicked out of his house griffinder for no reason!
"whahahh. my life is ruined." harry cried
he punched the mirror and started rolling around because he was so mad and sad!
he took a toilet out of the stall and broke it and took another one out and took a shit in it.
"i hate my fucking life! i wanna go home! buhuhuhuh" harry said.
"oh now harry you need to calm the heck down" someone said behimd him.
it was...dubmeldore!
"proffesseignator dumbloedore?" harry said.
"hey harry i'm sorry you've had such shit luck with the women lately. i don't have that problem" dumbledore said as he made a winky face.
"ok" harry said.
"i have an offer to make yo you this hair-pot. if you can answer this question, i will let you go back to griffyinder."
"ok" harry said.
"what is my name?" dumbledore said.
"professor dumbleendore?"
"correct, one million and one hundred points to gryfinndero and you can go back to your house." dumbedore said as he hugged harry.
"prof dumbledore... are you hard?" harry said.
"YES" dumbelore said.
"AH! ok" harry screamed.
he went back to his dormy dorm.
"harry!" herminone said.
"we missed you" ron said.
"it turns out that the fat lady paidinting or some shit didn't let you in because she was drunk" herimono said.
"so you werent really kicked out harry! harry!" ron said.
"wow wait...wow...that gives me an idea!" harry said.
"whant is that?" ron said.
"WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE BIGGEST PARTY EVER IN THE FUCKING CHAMBER OF SECRETS WITH BOOZ AND SHIT!" harry said.
"that idea is retarded harry we'll quite certainly almost get in quite a lot of trouble really." heriminoe said.
"fuck you then you don't have to come!" harry said as he pushed hermione.
"i like his idea" ron said.
"i like my idea too" harry said.
"ok" ron said.
"i'll even invite cho change. once she sees how badd-ass and awesomely awesome and amazing my part-tay is, she'll have no choice but to dump that loser nevelle long-fucker and get with a real man named harry potter...oh yeah!" harry said.
"ok. i like that idea." ron said.
"ron you invite people, i'll get the drinks."
"you bumblers are gonna get fucked." herminey said.
"fuck you, i told you to go away!" harry said. he pushed hermineo again!
"ok i'm gonna get teh booze now" harry said.
"ok." ron said.
-
harry got a fucking lot of alcoholik drinks off of amazon with snapes money. he also got some from hagrid because hagrid was cool and liked to drink and party it up. he moved it all in the chamber of secrets.
"hee hee hee" harry said. he waited a few horus and ron showed up.
"hey hey hey ron ronn-ay!" harry said
"sup" ron said.
"glad you could make it, crack open a fucking cold one my main manerino!" harry said.
they waited for a few hours and no one else showed up!
"ron you retard! Did you ever even invite anyone ever?" harry said.
"yeah but i don't know where they are?" ron said. he was drunk.
then a bunch of people came in. everyone from griffyder and slyther-in was there and so was cho change!
they blasted some lmfao and everyone was dancing and shit and getting drunk.
harry went up to cho chang.
"hey having fun baby?" harry said as he showed off his sick ass dance moves.
"yeah" she said. she was drunk.
"cho chang... i gotta show and tell you something... i love you" harry said as he kissed the fuck out of cho change and touched her boobs. but he had too much to drink and threw up in her mouth!
"blech...harry ... you fucking drunk fucking fuck...!" cho chang said.
"hey hey hey hey hey HEY HEY HEY! what are you doing to my girl?" neville said. he was dancing with some other girls and guys but he saw harry try and touch his girl.
"neville i'm sorry i didn't mean to throw up in her mouth!" harry said.
"your fucking dead harry potter." neville said. he tried to pull on harry's hair. but harry punch him in the gut. they rolled around on the floor. harry had been training to fight neville. he bit neville on the neck.
"AH-OOHA!" neville said. he punched harry in the balls
"OOH" harry said. it hurt bad.
"hey leave my best friend harry potter alone." ron said. he kicked neville as hard as he could on neville's ass. he punched neville's ass a few times for good measure. harry and ron ganged up on neville. harry broke neville's fingers.
"hey potter you were throwing a fucking party and did not even ever invite me?" draco malfoy said.
"no because your a fag!" harry said as everyone cheered because no one liked malfoy.
malfoy made an angry face!
"get them!" he screamed at grab and coil and they ran up to ron and harry and started punching them. malfoy started kickign them once they were down and neville got up and helped beat them up! crab picked up harr by his legs and spun him around a lot and harry got dizzy and threw up all over the people there!
"STOP IT!" someone said. crab and goil looked over and it was... hermione!
"dickus minimizickus!" she said and cast a spell that made crab and goil and malfy's dicks mike-rowe-scopic!
"waaahh!" they all looked at each other and scrammed.
"hermione!" ron said.
he hugged hermione.
"hermy... i'm sorry i said fuck you and pushed you" harry said.
"it's ok. i knew those assfucks would try to fuck your party up"
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" someone said. everone looked over and it was... dumbledore, snape and hagrid!
"party's over you little shits." snape said as he started zapping people with his wand to take them to the princiapls office because they were all in big trouble!
"RUN!" harry said as he ran away with his friends.
"i know a secret passage way." hermiono said.
they went in the secret passage but the p-assage aciddently made them magically go 2500 miles away from the fucking school! they looked around. they were at the train station where plat-form nine and 34 kwarters is!
"oh no!" harry said as he cried a lot.
"harry it's ok harry. look!" ron said. his dad's car was parked there.
"ware saved!" hermione said.
"i'll...drive." harry said. he was drunk.
so was ron.
"no your drunk." hermione said.
"fuck you hermione youyr a girl you don't drive and you can't drive hermione. ok you can't drive!" harry said.
they all get on the car.
"buckle up bitch" harry said. ron threw up on hermione.
"Ah!" hermione screemed.
"i can drive it's ok i'm ok your ok." harry said.
he drove all the way back to hogwards but had a big fucking problem. he crashed into the whoomping wollow!